S3E6: Kellina Powell - Deaf Queen Boss

Kellina was born hearing and at the age of 4 lost the ability to hear. Her courage and tenacity are ever present in her story to becoming the Deaf Queen Boss!

Kellina is a young entrepreneur who loves to help people with their personal growth and educate others about the deaf community. 

Little do people know Kellina is actually a hard of hearing person. She became deaf at the age of 4. She recently graduated with a psychology degree and is now starting her own online coaching business while launching her book. 

Social media and contact information:

IG: @Deafqueenboss

Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today we have Kellina with us Kellina Powell, and she's a young entrepreneur who loves to help people with their personal growth and educate others about the deaf community. Little do people know Kalina is actually hard of hearing. She became deaf at the age of four.

[00:00:21] She recently graduated with a psychology degree and is now starting her own online coaching business while launching a book. And then you have an Instagram page. I think it's like deaf, what is it? Def it's something Bo Yes. Def Queen Boss. Because I'm thinking, Yes, ma'am. Just own it.

[00:00:40] Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them.

[00:00:53] Kellina Powell: You.

[00:00:54] Damaged Parents: Yeah. So we are talking and we've got closed captions on the screen, which is actually we, we just discussed before recording how helpful it is to me and to you. Um, And I'm not hard of hearing, so I think that's a fascinating thing that we have in common that closed captions help. What are your thoughts on that?

[00:01:13] Kellina Powell: I just thought that their closed captions, took really long time to come in the picture. Because I noticed before when COVID started, I was having difficult time hearing someone on Zoom. So if I'm happy that they're finally thought about later on the road.

[00:01:29] Damaged Parents: Yeah, I was really sad that I had to go in and find the setting that it didn't come automatically turned on for me because. and it was not easy to find.

[00:01:39] So you became deaf at the age of four, so I'm thinking you probably don't even remember hearing much.

[00:01:46] Kellina Powell: I would say no. All I remember was when I was in front of the tv, my mom called my name so many times. How about the TV was loud and she tap on my shoulder and I jump, But I tell you, I jump. I jumped and my mom said to me, I've been calling you, and I said, Really? But then at the time I didn't realize she was so close to me, I could hear her, but then I realized when she was talking, I think my hearing kind of dropped and I let start her in dead in the face and I said, Wait, I can't hear you.

[00:02:17] And that's all I remembered going to the doctor the next day and they said, I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do clean at the desk. That's all the memories I remember.

[00:02:27] Damaged Parents: Oh, wow. So beyond that, you don't really have any, a memory of being normal. I, and I hate that word. I don't know how to explain it, but you, you don't have memories of, of a lot of hearing. What do you think? Cuz I think it would be hard if you didn't have hearing and then not hearing at school age.

[00:02:45] Right? What do you think was harder for you because you couldn't hear.

[00:02:51] Kellina Powell: So I actually went to two school. I went to a deaf school and a hearing school. I went to a deaf school in the morning and a hearing school in the afternoon. So I was able to learn about myself even more in the deaf community versus the hearing community. However, the, hearing school was very difficult cause a lot of teachers, I was actually the first deaf student and they had no idea what they were doing with me, which is, I felt very unfortunate because as a teacher, you should know about a AccessAbility, so you should know about the tools.

[00:03:21] How can you accommodate a student, which is very, a lot of lack of education. And it was just so sad that I couldn't fit in in the hearing community when I was younger. And I, I felt like my personality. , when I go to a deaf community and then a hand community, I

[00:03:37] Damaged Parents: Oh, so you're like two different people kind of thing.

[00:03:41] Kellina Powell: Yeah.

[00:03:41] Damaged Parents: Okay. That would be hard.

[00:03:43] Kellina Powell: It was hard. It really was. I didn't even know who I was. Myself. I felt like I had a trip personality and I, It was just very difficult because I understand what was happening at the age of four going to school. I was like, Why am I put in two different schools? Why am I put in two different communities? Why can't this community kinda understand me and the other one can't?

[00:04:05] And that was very hard for me to, I would say, navigate, especially at a young age at five, four. Yeah.

[00:04:11] Damaged Parents: Yeah, around that, I would think so. It would be very confusing. You know, one of my siblings lost part, I think she's deaf in one ear, but we didn't know for a long time. And I didn't realize, for instance, that you know when I'm, Of course I know now, but she tends to get really loud because she can't hear, and I did not realize that. I think that's actually kind of mean to me to tell her to be quiet now , or to not talk so loud and maybe I need to be talking louder. You know what? What would you say? In situations like that where people really don't know how to react or how to respond, What should we be doing? Right? I mean, and I'm telling you, this is my sister

[00:04:58] Kellina Powell: I, the first thing I usually tell people, it happen all the time to me. People never opposed me. A deaf person, they said, You don't look deaf, you don't show your hair. Cause my hair's always down. I always have a long hair. And usually I tell people is be really mindful how you approach yourself. That's number one.

[00:05:16] Number two, if you notice that there are deaf, ask them a simple question, How may I help you? And that's the perfect way of getting the conversation going because there's some people don't feel comfortable opening up themselves with some certain people. Not just just the hearing community, but everybody in general.

[00:05:36] And that's a great way of approaching people and you know, to have a conversation. Get to know them. Don't look at them just cause they're deaf. Get to know them for the heart. And I know a lot of people tend to do too much in term of, you know, they try to move the lip too much. Like, Okay, can you hear me okay?

[00:05:56] Like, don't do that. Like we are

[00:05:59] Damaged Parents: izing. The words, which probably makes it H. Maybe that makes it harder to read if you read lips. Oh, I never would've thought of that. I don't think I do that, but I don't think I would've thought of it if I was doing it. You know what I'm saying?

[00:06:13] Kellina Powell: Exactly. Exactly.

[00:06:15] Damaged Parents: really self-conscious,

[00:06:17] Kellina Powell: Yes, very and I would tell people that talk normal. It's okay. honestly, we will tell you, you are doing too much, but down for my stuff, I remember a coworker of mine, you know, he, he go beyond. I expect that, but I said, Hey, you're doing too much. I appreciate what you're, However, you're making me uncomfortable.

[00:06:39] So there's a lot of ways, Yeah, there are a lot of ways where people can try to overstep like, Okay, I'm gonna order your food, or, Okay, I like don't do that. Right? You wanna give them that confidence, the independent of being on their own.

[00:06:50] Damaged Parents: So, almost like I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you a story about we were in a grocery store one time. Mind you, my hands don't work very well, right? Most people on the podcast know this, but a gentleman dropped his cane. And my caregivers are pretty well trained in that. Let me ask for help, right? And I've turned my caregiver and I said, would you pick that can up for him?

[00:07:10] I never asked him. I never, And my caregiver looks at me and says, Don't you think you might wanna ask? And I was like, Oh my gosh. The very thing that I asked them to do for me, I was forgetting. So I think sometimes, We also as part of a community, I don't know if, I don't know if you consider death as being part of a disability community.

[00:07:32] I think because I, I, and I do want to get into all of that cause I think there's a whole nother culture, but it's really easy to forget. And what you're saying is don't do too much. And I think it, that really might come down to communication.

[00:07:44] Kellina Powell: Exactly

[00:07:46] Damaged Parents: And not taking it personally. So if I'm the person doing too much, don't take it personally that Kellina is telling me, No, don't do that.

[00:07:52] Right.

[00:07:53] Kellina Powell: that. That way don't take her personal sometimes. People are used to it and people are comfortable the way how they are doing certain things, and it's just the way how they are. Sometimes I ask myself, Well, don't you like some help? But then I realize that they're being independent for too long and they're not used to receiving the help.

[00:08:12] So that's the number other thing that people should be aware of.

[00:08:15] Damaged Parents: Yeah, so asking the question, So let's say I think you're struggling for whatever reason, then, and I ask you, would you like some help? Then you have a choice at that point to say yes or no. And, but just helping and just going and doing is not always helpful because then you don't get to.

[00:08:33] Own your struggle maybe is the best way to put it. Okay. So back to like the deaf community. And is it because I'm my understanding, I've known a couple of people, My sister also learned ASL and she said it's just a whole different world. And it's almost, it's like a culture

[00:08:54] Kellina Powell: Literally, it, is it's very different

[00:08:57] Damaged Parents: because I don't know that I see being def as a deficit. I think, I mean, yes, in this world where we, where, you know, my world, where every what I hear is important, it is a, it would be seen as a deficit, but I'm thinking you probably. My understanding of the culture is that it's not a deficit, it's just who you are kind of thing.

[00:09:20] Am I right in or am I on the right track there?

[00:09:24] Kellina Powell: Everybody definition is different. It's very hard to say yes and no, because I know a lot of people from the deaf community do consider themselves having a disability. Some don't. Me personally, I feel like. It really depends on the situation that the persons facing. They're a different, let's say for example, you're trying to get accommodation at work, the doctors look at the grocery store, you need accommodation.

[00:09:49] So it really depends on what situation it is where you looking at. Me personally, I do think being deaf can be part of disability. It's really depends the situation. But I got everybody opinion is very different.

[00:10:01] Damaged Parents: Okay, so I think what I'm hearing you say is yes and no. And I think that happens on a huge scale. for all things that might be recognized as disabilities. Right? So, and I say that because I also know that things that are considered disabilities, people don't even mark that they have a disability on a form because they don't see it as a disability like diabetes or type two diabetes.

[00:10:29] While that's considered a disability, a person may not see it as a disability. Yeah. And so again, it would depend on that situation, which is really interesting and difficult to think about because, you know, it's like we need to, I think on some level there's pride and we have to have pride in, in who we are.

[00:10:50] With that deficit what are your thoughts there on, on how to do that? On how to have pride?

[00:10:58] Kellina Powell: I will always tell people as to find the community. It's very important to find that because without a community, without own understanding who you are, you won't get by because I feel like a lot of time, yes, it is important to find the strength. In yourself. It's very hard to, it's very easy to lose track of yourself.

[00:11:20] It's very easy to be caught up in your mind, and that's where a lot of time people really do struggle, especially the deaf community and the disability community because they have so much things going on. They have the lot of baggage that they have to go through, and order to find your partner. I would tell people it really just find out who you are.

[00:11:37] What is your need? What are the needs that you don't need help with? What are the needs you do need help with? And be honest with yourself. And I always tell people when you're not honest with yourself, you can't receive the help that you need. So that's the most important thing.

[00:11:51] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like it's a lot about understanding who you are and maybe that support can be found. The family maybe a lot of times it not like, I don't, I know for me, I didn't have a tremendously supportive family with my disability and I don't think they understood the difference between enabling and support.

[00:12:11] Does that also happen in the deaf community? Cuz I'm thinking all children with deaf or even adults who acquire the same that problem later, Families don't always understand.

[00:12:22] Kellina Powell: It's very true. A lot of family do understand sometimes family. Don't know how to accommodate properly and they don't bother doing their research or even helping because especially someone who having just bar, they don't want to give the other person the baggage, the package to help them because they feel, and I wouldn't say the the way they embarrassed, but they will lose the confidence.

[00:12:47] in terms of how to be independent. So that's where sometime it comes in the pitch, especially with family, right? We have to rely heavily on family. A lot of our don't, like, for example, myself, like when I go to the store, especially during COVID time, I have to rely on my family for everything. And I did not like that because I didn't wanna show them that I was not independent.

[00:13:07] And sometimes they can go above and beyond, and I don't expect them to do that. And so it's literally the same thing, because you don't want your family to feel like there's something, but not for them to stay, but for them to kind of like, go over me and you will lose your independence.

[00:13:23] Damaged Parents: Right. So there is that fine line. So it sounds like really the most important thing is to have conversations about what is needed and what is not needed. And sometimes that, that can be a little bit awkward. Especially I think too, if those of us with the, with the disability are taking personally what's going on.

[00:13:41] Right.

[00:13:42] Kellina Powell: Yeah. Yeah. Especially going to a doctor office or dental work.

[00:13:46] Damaged Parents: oh dear. Oh, please give an example. What do you mean about that?

[00:13:52] Kellina Powell: For example, I had to go to a doctor department. It was so embarrassing and I that when I started dating, my mom wanted me to do birth control. You know, how mother's are overprotective and she's like, Oh yeah, Kellina needs to do birth control. So my doctor looks at me in the face, should I have this conversation with you without your parents Well, I mean, I have the mask on, so I can't understand what you're saying, so may have Well, so it very uncomfortable, but that my mom would be open and honest because I, I was 21 at the time so yeah, it was very uncomfortable, especially at 20.

[00:14:26] I got through it without my mom, so I, for my mom to get out, eventually my doctor would thing it up. CLE , and I'm like, ok. And so my doctor like, So finally my, I actually under my doctor had a strong Italian accent, so it's very difficult for me to understand him or he saying, and I'm like, Oh my God. Okay.

[00:14:46] So finally like my, my mom finally left. I was, it was to understand him a little bit better thought he would talk really lot slower, try to show me like how to use it without my mom being present.

[00:14:58] Damaged Parents: Wow. So even at the doctor's office, because I know this has actually been a discussion on the disability advisory committee in the OR commission in the area I live in. But even at the doctor's office, they didn't have the mask where you could see the lips.

[00:15:12] Kellina Powell: No, they did not.

[00:15:13] Damaged Parents: Wow. Which I think is really interesting because it's the medical field.

[00:15:18] Kellina Powell: Yes, . Exactly. It's medical field. How do you not have a mask that I'm so confused and it's medical field. You guys study us, so I don't know. It was very interesting.

[00:15:30] Damaged Parents: Yeah, you would think that it would be one of the more accessible places, and even for maybe employees that acquire disabilities while working in those places, you would think that they would have, Accessibility built in and it's, it seems like they might not, and I, That's really interesting to think about.

[00:15:49] Kellina Powell: Definitely it. I even thought about it because I'm thinking going to the doctor's office, And the doctor know I'm deaf, so I'm making, Now I look and

[00:15:59] Damaged Parents: Wow. I'm sorry. That's frustrating. And I'm just thinking to myself, how do we sh, how do I help shift that narrative, not just for people who can't hear, but. All people with disabilities because it really doesn't make a lot of sense. Logic even logically, intellectually, or, you know, but definitely not from a heart place of love.

[00:16:19] Right. It makes absolutely no sense. I mean, geez. . Oh gosh. I'm trying to think of what next. I wanted to ask you, I mean, how did you come up with Deaf Queen Boss, you know, because that's a fantastic name and , I just wanted to call you the deaf boss, which was my problem earlier. I'm like, I know that's wrong,

[00:16:40] Kellina Powell: It's okay. I know a lot of people asking that question that like starting the show powerful. It's very strong. Like I feel like it understood me and I said honestly, I would literally grab a piece of paper before I became. A content creator and I said, No, lemme make myself a name. So me and my little sister connected, it is really big on technology.

[00:17:01] I like this. The younger generation, big on technology and she just me, my writing and I was telling, and I knew I wanted something. That's a deaf boss, I always. Considered myself and that everybody always called me the boss. I don't know why. I think I have that strong leadership in me that, and a lot of people call me like, Oh yeah, shes the boss.

[00:17:19] Be careful and.

[00:17:21] Damaged Parents: Maybe you just knew what you wanted,

[00:17:24] Kellina Powell: I think that too. I think I just, No, I'm gonna do it my way. I dunno. And I was just writing down names. Deaf Queen Boss, Boss Queen, or, and then I'm like, Wait, I like Deaf Queen Boss. And then that's when I came up with Queen, but was a lot of writing. It took me like two days to come up with my name and my brand name.

[00:17:42] Damaged Parents: Wow. That's awesome. Okay, so my other question is how hard was. I mean, you were, you were only deaf the age of four, which means to me that you probably had some ability to learn language, but much of your language wasn't learned, I'm thinking until after that. And how did you do that? And I think a lot of people might have this question, right?

[00:18:04] When you can't hear, how do you learn to talk?

[00:18:07] Kellina Powell: So, because I became deaf before I began speaking, which I'm pretty sure I was. However, my doctor, Cause I actually asked my doctor before he retired and I asked him that question. I'm like, How I able to speak? Because he was saying, A lot of time when you become deaf, I. , after you start speaking, you do continue speaking, developing and speaking.

[00:18:29] But how about if you became deaf before they, Before he said that's when your vocabulary development, speaking, your speech was start to delay, but because you were over four years old, you are able to kind of pass that. And second, I had a speech therapist. I had speech therapist from grade four To grade eight.

[00:18:49] So I had a speak therapist and cause that really actually helped me a lot with speaking and pronouncing words, correct me. But I do have some words I do not pronounce very well, so I'm not gonna lie. I know some people say, Well, I'm like, no, there's some words I cannot pronounce. , so it's not easy.

[00:19:07] But it's really about practicing. And I have my family who do not sign ASL, so I did not learn sign when I became deaf, lot people thought I did. I said, no, I actually learned language when I went to the deaf school. But because I. Got out of the deaf school in grade three, and then mixed sense why they put me on street because they knew that I need to build up in my speaking and my family did not want me to continue ASL because they wanted me to be independent when I get older.

[00:19:34] And they were thinking realistically how I never thought about this, but they said that a lot of time when you go to school and high school, The language options are not asl, either French or Spanish, but there's no ASL courses that's been offered for young generation, so that's why my family's diagnosed asl.

[00:19:53] So I so that read how I continue speaking.

[00:19:57] Damaged Parents: Wow. Do you feel like by not knowing ASL all that time, that it added to your difficulties?

[00:20:07] Kellina Powell: I would say no, I did not have difficulty, but however I wish I learned it so like can communicate with other people who are completely deaf and who was at asl and because now that I'm getting older, hearing aids are so expensive and the people are true to do ASL instead of lying on the hearing aids so much. So sometime a hearing aid doesn't always work.

[00:20:29] Damaged Parents: Right, and then you would have to figure out how to communicate outside of that.

[00:20:35] Kellina Powell: Exactly.

[00:20:36] Damaged Parents: just seems so hard.

[00:20:38] Kellina Powell: It's very hard. It's very hard. I tell people, you know, my life is not easy as you think it is, It's very difficult.

[00:20:44] Damaged Parents: Right, and I'm, thinking though, like from the perspective of like the, your parents and, and like the society view is that we have to, for as people with disabilities, we have to figure out how to fit into this world that we're not really meant to fit into instead of helping shift so that everybody can fit. And that's sad to me. want to see that shift in change because I, just, because it's a considered a disability. There are many things in, I think in everyone where everyone could use a little bit more support than what we are currently giving each other,

[00:21:23] Kellina Powell: I agree..

[00:21:24] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Okay. So what would be the top three tips or tools that you would say for either someone who's becoming deaf as an adult, or maybe parents with a child that's deaf and they're not?

[00:21:37] What would you say are the top three tips or tools that you would recommend?

[00:21:41] Kellina Powell: So I do have two separate categories. so my advice were tips for parents, I would say. One is do not be afraid to allow the children to feel uncomfortable. And what I mean by that is, My mom literally forced me to join a sport team Imagine. I am deaf. I was like, I'm mad this mom and they won't understand me, and she said, You're going.

[00:22:02] And the reason why she did that was because she wanted me to learn how to interact with the hand community and two teacher teaching me how to build my confidence to do not be afraid to put your child in sports or anything like that, because it's very important to help them because you are helping them.

[00:22:20] I don't care if they said, No, I don't like it. Let's give it two weeks. At least give it two weeks at least, and see if they like it or not, because sometimes, You have to wait. Right? It's all about being patient with your child, always. And the second thing, I always have open conversation with your family about your child's hearing loss.

[00:22:38] I do that a lot of children or do not have an open discussion with their family or with their parents. Because they feel uncomfortable or they just don't wanna talk about it. But you wanna make sure that your child can come to you and like, Hey, like mom, dad, like my hearing loss talking. I can't hear. You know, what a way that we can do.

[00:22:59] And third, lastly, I would say as that, definitely try to find your child a community. Try to find where can your child can participate sports in terms of, you know, the deaf community. If there are deaf tension in the area that you can take your kid to, but also too, you are more than welcome to put them in a hearing community as well.

[00:23:20] Look at that way they understand what it's like to be in two different communities so that they know when they get older, rather they're completely deaf or rather they do ASL or a hearing aid does not matter. The goal here is to make sure when you're child gets older. They can be like ,Oh, I can be independent. I can do that.

[00:23:38] So that is definitely the three tips I have for parents. For someone who is an adult who just became deaf, I know it's overwhelming. I know you don't like the hearing aids. I don't. I know you don't like it. I have friends that became deaf by 25. And they're like Kellina How you do it? I don't like this thing in my ear. And I said, Well, you're gonna have to get used to it, but, and at the same time being, you have to find out.

[00:23:59] How far is your hearing loss? Study your hearing loss, understand your hearing loss understand what can you do better? What is the thing that you need to work on when you become deaf? Cause there's so many things you have to do. And second. Do not take life for granted. I know a lot of us who become older and they become deaf, they feel like the life is downhill, the life is not downhill.

[00:24:20] This is a new chapter, this is a new beginning. Maybe this is meant to happen to you. Like I always tell people, God never make mistakes. Why He does to different people. Just always be grateful. And third thing I would say is be careful of your friends. Because we're getting older and I had an adult, I know we have ignorant friends.

[00:24:37] If your friends are very ignorant and they can't be helpful to you or be polite, especially when that is very frustrating, especially having a conversation or group conversation. If they can't do that, then they're not your friends. I had to learn that the hard way when I was growing up and I had to cut off a lot of people because a lot of people would either wanna take advantage of me or two, they thought like I, Cause I'm deaf to think I'm stupid.

[00:25:01] You're not stupid. You can do what you can do, but you feel like that friends not supporting you or helping you out, cut them off. I know being adult is hard cause I am only twenty-five years old. I'm literally getting the adult life right now,

[00:25:14] Damaged Parents: I love the all those points. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on this show, Kalina Powell. You can find her on Instagram at Deaf Queen Boss, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for both of us. Thank you so much.

[00:25:29] Kellina Powell: My pleasure. Thank you,

[00:25:30] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Kellina about how she learned to function successfully in both the hearing and the hearing loss worlds we especially liked when she spoke about what it's like to go to the doctor with a hearing loss and the challenges she overcame.

[00:25:51] To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Instagram. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week. Still relatively damaged. See you then.