S3E16 - Belle Lockerby - Redefining Menopause
Belle Lockerby recognized the importance of words as she started her transition through menopause.
Belle Lockerby is a TEDx speaker, transformation specialist, mom of four in a blended family and author and her new book, The Words the Caterpillar Ate invites readers to go on a word diet and explore definitions of words that might be holding them back.
The Words the Caterpillar Ate was released on 22 November 2022
Social media and contact information:
Fb: @heytherebelle
insta; @bellelockerby
Podcast Transcript
This episode was streamed Live November 18th, 2022.
[00:00:04] Damaged Parents: Surprise.
[00:00:06] Belle Lockerby: Hi,
[00:00:07] Damaged Parents: we're live. Yes, guys. Guys, I'm so excited. Belle and I reconnected after 18 months. We figured out . It's been about eight since indeed, March. 2021 and she came on the show to talk about Awkward is the New Brave, and that was her book. She has written another book and it is going to be released on the 22nd of November.
[00:00:32] Damaged Parents: And look at that. She has in her, it's called The Words the Caterpillar Ate. Fantastic. Now, bell is also a TEDx speaker. She's a transformation specialist. She's a mom of four in a blended family. And like I said, she wrote this new book with The Words the Caterpillar Ate, which I had a sneak peek at today.
[00:00:55] Damaged Parents: and it is such a fun read. Now she talks about going on a word diet, oops. Or maybe it's an edit and it's really. A good id. I mean, I just was like, I love that because I was like, oh, it's the same, you know? And you even point out it's the same letters. Tell us what you were thinking. What was what I mean, this is actually we title, what do we title it?
[00:01:19] Damaged Parents: We titled the episode Redefining Menopause, right? ? Yeah.
[00:01:23] Belle Lockerby: Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. So when, like, probably after 2021, like after we caught up, I started having some major issues with my brain function, which I was not used to. My iron levels had tanked. My vitamin D had tanked, and I started getting right into perimenopause, which.
[00:01:45] Belle Lockerby: It's a hoot. What can I, what can I say? And my brain functions really started being impacted. So my ability to make decisions or work out whether someone was making a joke or even my ability to concentrate. So it was like brain fog times, times a hundred, really? At certain points during my cycle where I could not think about things.
[00:02:06] Belle Lockerby: And it really made me look at who I thought I was because I had very much been of the, the mindset as everything. And like you can, you know, you can kind of think your way through things, but when my brain functions started being impacted, all of a sudden it was like, well, actually no. Mindset is not everything.
[00:02:23] Belle Lockerby: If I don't have my health to the level that I need it to be at, especially when it comes to my brain function and my thought processes. Cause like for me, this is, this is how I make my living. So not being able to. Speak or present or being in a, being in a group and all of a sudden feeling as though I had completely lost my words, really challenged who I thought I was.
[00:02:46] Belle Lockerby: So I started going and looking at, just like I had done with the the word brave, I started looking at a lot of my own values and even things that the health profession was saying around how they would define health or what they thought my solution was to start to unpack. How identity forms what we've been fed by society about the aging process or any of the other labels that people may put on us that can actually hold us back from moving forward with our potential.
[00:03:14] Belle Lockerby: So I wanted to really start to shift that and give people a toolkit that's based on my change back round to kind of go, well, this is how you look at the words that you've been fed about yourself. When you start working out what is helpful in terms of who you want to grow into for this next phase of your life and what really needs a a, a good old edit so that you can write a description and start living and breathing a word that more fits you and your purpose as opposed to thinking that you are limited because society or.
[00:03:47] Belle Lockerby: To say a sec sector of the health professional, whoever it is, has fed you their definitions of words. And I adore my gp, he's our family doctor, but he had said to me that perimenopause is gonna go for like 10 years. And I just thought to myself, I don't know if I can handle the, the roller coasters and everything of, of what happens with your emotions.
[00:04:11] Belle Lockerby: For 10 years and you were like,
[00:04:13] Damaged Parents: yeah. Were you already on a rollercoaster of emotions then in this perimenopause time? Yeah, absolutely. And what does that
[00:04:23] Belle Lockerby: Absolutely. So I'm, so, I'm still technically in perimenopause, but I would find myself crying on the floor of the bathroom because I. I didn't know how I was going to cope with, with everything going on.
[00:04:36] Belle Lockerby: There would be days where I would be having a conversation with my friend and driving my car, and this is partly due to my iron levels being really low perimenopause and my vitamin D being really low as well. and I couldn't concentrate on her conversation and be present as a good friend and focus on driving my car at the same time.
[00:04:58] Belle Lockerby: So she's thinking, what, like, what is she doing? She's not paying attention to me. But it wa it actually wasn't, that was just, my brain could only focus on what it needed to do at that point in time. So my productivity was being impacted. in that space as well. And then I would also experience severe migraines, which I'd never suffered from during my life before.
[00:05:21] Belle Lockerby: There were points when I would be facil facilitating workshops earlier on in the piece where I would get super hot in a room and I thought it was just, I thought it was just me, and I would ask everyone else. I'm like, oh, you all really hot in here? And they're like, no, we're all good. I'm like, it must be because I'm moving around.
[00:05:38] Belle Lockerby: Not really. realizing that that was a really early sign. Mm-hmm. , and it wasn't like, it wasn't talked about. My mother is no longer like, she hasn't been alive since I was 19, so I really. Had no idea what was happening to me. And it was only from kind of having a few conversations with some other women going, oh, like I'm, I'm not sure what's going on with my brain.
[00:06:02] Belle Lockerby: Like I feel a li I feel off and I couldn't figure it out. So it started to impact self-confidence and you start to feel like maybe you're done or you've, you've missed your shot or something. Mm-hmm. and I had one female who'd been through like female friend who'd been through. A program with me and she had said, that she was misdiagnosed with depression, and she found out later on that she was actually going through perimenopause because her hormones were impacted so much.
[00:06:32] Belle Lockerby: So she said that you need, like, just make sure that you keep keep pushing for yourself. There's a lady, I'm, I'm going to miss her name, but the name of her book is called See You Later Ovulator, and she's like really big on, I like, I love the title. She's really big on self-advocacy and really pushing. , you know, your own self and, and having a look at things.
[00:06:53] Belle Lockerby: So she just released something over on Instagram the other day that said menopause and, and that whole cycle for women wasn't even really taught in medical school for a lot of people. Mm-hmm. So there's, that reminds, acknowledge that. .
[00:07:07] Damaged Parents: Yeah, I mean that reminds me of the books I read about nutrition and finding out doctors got like a whole four hours of nutrition schooling.
[00:07:16] Damaged Parents: I'm wondering how many hours it was for menopause. I mean, that would, that would be very interesting, you know? Yeah. But. So when you were feeling all of the fog and your body is changing, all of this is happening. Oh, I mean, you wrote Awkward is the New Brave and, and you know now, now it's the caterpillar.
[00:07:39] Damaged Parents: Wait, the caterpillar ate your words? No, The Words the Caterpillar Ate. The Caterpillar eight. Yeah. I'm gonna get it right. Were, what was it like finding bravery during
[00:07:49] Belle Lockerby: brain trauma in. During brain fog, I, I think for me through this period, bravery really looked like. , a new level of humility to kind of go, well, actually what you thought about the world or about yourself is, is not quite right.
[00:08:06] Belle Lockerby: Mm-hmm. and now you need to look for a, a different solution. So it's about almost finding that that internal bravery to kind of go, actually I'm not okay. I've been brave and resilient through other things in my life. So whether it's through grief and loss or putting myself back out there, but this was.
[00:08:26] Belle Lockerby: like a whole new ballgame for me, like in terms of the impact on the brain function and on my body as well. So I gained , I gained, I'm just trying to work out the, the American equivalent. I gained something li like close to, close to 40 pounds within a really short period of time, even though I was still exercising and I was still eating, but just nothing, nothing was working.
[00:08:49] Belle Lockerby: So, , I started to be a bit harder on myself. So that bravery word really started shifting more into looking at how can, how can I be humble with my bravery mm-hmm. and say, well, no, this isn't right. I appreciate and respect the medical profession and what they're saying, but I actually, I'm going to not. Not eat everything that are being served up in this, in this scenario.
[00:09:17] Belle Lockerby: And I started looking for people who had definitions or who were actually living a little bit differently. So I started following a lot of naturopath. So I work with a holistic this is a, this is a lot of alliteration, a holistic hormone health coach. Her name's Laura. She's based over in the us And just her knowledge in terms of what she talks about with what happens with your levels and how they.
[00:09:41] Belle Lockerby: Can impact women and what happens during your cycle and the importance of working to balance your hormones for not, not only just for brain function, but also for your overall health, how important that is and, and making some changes. So I was probably more of a cardio person for certain, like for a certain period of my life, and that's, that's not what I do anymore because it does, it doesn't work anymore.
[00:10:05] Belle Lockerby: So, so I think that's really about being brave. in that next level of transformation to kind of go, it's like aging is okay, like, cause there's definitely a message that happens out on social media. And I just even think in terms of advertising and marketing that youth are so revered that we don't always celebrate wisdom.
[00:10:30] Damaged Parents: Right. Well that reminds me of the woman in Canada, the the news anchor woman I think that let her hair go gray. And then someone asked why did, who approved that? And then she was fired. And then I think the Wendy's corporation turned all Wendy's hair gray in Canada, you know. But what was the most surprising thing you learned about yourself so far in this journey?
[00:10:58] Belle Lockerby: That so that my core identity is still there, right? So, adventure is one of my core values. I talk about this in the book, but how I live and breathe that value now is different. So I think sometimes we can operate off old versions of ourselves. Right. So you, you may want to be holding onto your, your 20 year old dream or your 20 year old definitions.
[00:11:22] Belle Lockerby: And my, my mid 40 body just cannot, cannot operate that way anymore. It's like, it's just, it's had wear and tear. That's like, that's the, that's the reality of it, right? So, yeah. So adventure now looks a lot more like doing. Like amazing hikes. I went and did a hike with a, a group of friends to raise funds for a mental health organization here called Beyond Blue, and that was a 35 kilometer hike.
[00:11:48] Belle Lockerby: So met in Miles, I think it's around about 22 miles, like in, in one day, like along the coast. Oh, wow. So I would rather live out that definition of adventure looking like that. So. , it's now a healthy definition where I have my body intact and I'm not launching myself off giant water slides or accidentally doing myself injuries.
[00:12:13] Belle Lockerby: Where the recovery time for me right now is, is longer. So yeah, I think it's just learning to, learning to tweak and like keep who you are, but allow those parts of you to evolve and, and let go of the words that you may have been fed that no longer fit. So, and whether it's, so I think that's important, whether it's around what success needs to look like for this phase of your life, and if you're being fed a definition of, well, if you're over 40, then you're done.
[00:12:44] Belle Lockerby: Then start looking for those women who have just done the most amazing things. later in life and start, like, really start chasing down those examples. Yeah. So that you're
[00:12:55] Damaged Parents: see the possibility. Oh yeah. And you're in Australia and Yeah. I was just watching the Crims. He, Chris Hem Hemsworth limitless and, and on in the strength episode because he's from Australia, somewhere over there.
[00:13:09] Damaged Parents: I, I know this much . He is, but there's an, there's an 85 year old woman teaching yoga, and she had been a bodybuilder and all of these great things. I mean, you know, I, I think. You know, a lot of what you're saying of going through this journey is reminding me of, of my journey with a disability and learning the new, that's why it's like, what did you learn?
[00:13:35] Damaged Parents: How did you learn it? What you know, you reached out to a specialist is what you said. Yeah. I mean, these are big things and, and it, I love that you said about yourself, that, that at your core, you, you have that adventure. Yes. And. that's important to you? It is, you know. Yeah. And so what, you know, what did you somehow turn this into?
[00:13:59] Damaged Parents: Like, oh, okay, I'm on a new adventure, or how did you use that word, adventure? Oh, that's
[00:14:04] Belle Lockerby: a great question. So I may have done that subconsciously. So it may have been adventure in the pursuit of new information, really. And to go against, The norm, I guess if, if you want to use that or what. What people tend to say is a bit of a given.
[00:14:20] Belle Lockerby: So I wanted to really embrace critical thinking and look at what, what the available information is and kind of go well. What are the questions that they haven't asked? Or what are the things that they haven't studied or, or what's the, you know, which are the areas that they haven't actually explored? Because I think for women as we age, I, I can't speak for men.
[00:14:42] Belle Lockerby: I'm obviously not a man. But for women as we age, there seems to be this big knowledge gap around. Visibility and aging process for us. And so I'm a like generation X. The messaging that we had when we were like when I was growing up was children should be seen and not heard. And I don't necessarily know that as a young child.
[00:15:04] Belle Lockerby: I had lots of examples of women who were older and doing amazing things. So now all of a sudden you're like, okay, so how do we become that example and start to. , show people what's possible and do it in a way that you're not going to break yourself in the process. So I think that's important. So, so
[00:15:23] Damaged Parents: then was gentleness part of that process too?
[00:15:27] Belle Lockerby: Yes, because I , I tend to be a person who Once that, like I, I do think we live in a society with where it's like instant gratification. And I do like to like have things now where I want my solution to happen fast. And I've had to be a lot more patient with myself in term, especially on the hormone front because it wasn't like I could just take something and everything would be balanced overnight.
[00:15:50] Belle Lockerby: I've had to be patient. And it took even with the iron infusions, it took a couple months for everything to kick in and, and for me to start feeling. like myself again to like an an older version, but like it took a while for that to set in. So patience has definitely played a role. And I think that's something that I'm learning as I go through all of this is to trust in the process and to not rush it.
[00:16:14] Belle Lockerby: And that it's, it's okay for things to take time, that you don't have to go at the same rate as everybody else. Well,
[00:16:22] Damaged Parents: and I think for yourself too, right? Yeah. Because you are a Boer, you've al you've, my perception of you, whether right or wrong is that I'm gonna get this done, I'm gonna do this, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
[00:16:35] Damaged Parents: Right? Yeah. Like this is just gonna
[00:16:36] Belle Lockerby: happen. Yeah, absolutely. Sorry that was a dog in the background and I have my lovely husband. Delivering coffee . Oh,
[00:16:44] Damaged Parents: how sweet. Hi,
[00:16:49] Belle Lockerby: Hello. Yeah, so, so, I think embracing those challenges, whether it's with your career or your health or your relationships and looking at, so what do I want these things to mean to me next? How am I going to live and breathe them? And it's okay to go at my. Pro, like at my own pace. Mm-hmm. , not compare myself to everybody else is really like, really important.
[00:17:16] Belle Lockerby: So yeah, in the book I like, I love a metaphor. It's part of how I write. So in the book I talk about butterflies, even the same species of butterflies when they go into chrysalis. They don't necessarily all emerge at the same time, so they will only go through emergence when the environment is right.
[00:17:37] Belle Lockerby: It's part of their. Mechanism to survive. So, for example, if they've gone into Chrysalis, it's a little bit too late and then winter kicks in, they'll actually stay in there until the weather warms up again and they can emerge. Oh, wow. Which I, which I think is really cool. And there's good lessons for humanity in that, that you don't have to emerge at the same rate as everybody else.
[00:17:58] Belle Lockerby: It's okay for you to wait until your environment is right. .
[00:18:03] Damaged Parents: Wow. That's just got me thinking. How did you reconcile that though? You know, you're in the middle of this mess. You're, well, I don't know if it's a mess, but to me I'm thinking, oh my gosh.
[00:18:17] Belle Lockerby: It feels, it feels mess some days. Sure. Feels a mess. Some days.
[00:18:21] Damaged Parents: Like how did you reconcile with yourself after being such a mover and a shaker that it's okay. to come out when it's time. I don't have to push so hard.
[00:18:34] Belle Lockerby: Oh, I like. . Honestly, it takes time. It still takes me time. So I still get this, want to, want to push. So it's just to catch myself in those moments and, and trust has become a big word for me to now explore and look at and trusting in that process and trusting my path ahead and being excited about the future instead of feeling like there's some trepidation around things.
[00:19:00] Belle Lockerby: And you know, I, I do worry. So my mother, and I know this plays in the back of my mind a little bit. My mother died when she was 49, so I'm two hang. No one year and one month off that age, right? Yeah. So, so that, that does play a little bit around wanting to make it to 50, but I've got to trust that everything will be okay.
[00:19:25] Belle Lockerby: So when I started looking at this word trust, and I guess I love looking at, at lots of different words, I'm like, well, I've forgiven all of these things in my life, but have I actually repaired that word trust? Like, can I fully trust what I do not know. And what does that mean? Trust for me, for me, it's like, can I fully trust God?
[00:19:41] Belle Lockerby: Would be what I would say, and can I fully like go all in and be okay with not knowing and just trust that if things, if things are gonna, like, if I'm gonna end up like a, a New York Times bestseller, awesome. If not, things will like, I will still be okay. It's not going to be the end of me or the end of my purpose or anything like that.
[00:20:04] Belle Lockerby: So,
[00:20:04] Damaged Parents: yeah. So for you, trusting cuz it is, is trusting that you're taking each step in, in the order that you are supposed to take it for you. Yeah. And knowing that if it's going to, if the, if the outcome is that you're a best time seller, fantastic. If not, you're still gonna be okay. But that's okay.
[00:20:25] Belle Lockerby: Yeah.
[00:20:26] Damaged Parents: Yeah. That, and I think that is so hard.
[00:20:29] Belle Lockerby: It is. But I think that was a lesson from my first book, awkward as a New Brave too, where. When I'd gone to have a, a conversation with a, a key person in my life about abuse that had happened early, I had to be okay no matter what the outcome was. So if I ask that question on will you have this conversation?
[00:20:46] Belle Lockerby: And they say, no, I had to ma have peace with that. And I think that same lesson now happens like. if I go forward and write this book. And obviously I want amazing things for the book. Am I okay with any outcome no matter what it is? And making peace with, almost like making peace with the future so that you can stay in the present, I think is something that's important and trusting that I will emerge when I'm meant to emerge and, you know, maybe I already have.
[00:21:14] Belle Lockerby: So, so that's okay.
[00:21:16] Damaged Parents: So making peace with the future so you can be present in the moment. That is hard to, for me, in my mind to, to, I don't think I could articulate to someone what that really means or what the steps I might take to get there. What can you do that yourself? Are there certain steps that you take to, to stay in the
[00:21:40] Belle Lockerby: present?
[00:21:40] Belle Lockerby: Yeah. I, yes, I, I think so. I still think that you can, so it's not to say that you don't have a plan for your future or anything like that, but I think if you look at your values, so your core values and even like I talk about core values and foundational values, so foundational being things that. I feel are important to all humanities, so things like security and, and health and connection and, and purpose.
[00:22:07] Belle Lockerby: And there'll be another one thrown in there too that I'm missing right now. But if you, th if you think of those, those foundational values, what do they need to look like for you now and then your core values? So things like adventure for me is how, how am I going to live that out? So is it something that is an everyday value for me?
[00:22:29] Belle Lockerby: And it, it may be in terms of pursuit of knowledge or being adventurous with seeking out new information, like the example that you'd asked me about, or it might be going for a surf. When the, when the weather permits and, and kind of going, well, that's part of who I am, but I know that for me, the amount of joy in life is not as high if I don't have access to adventure.
[00:22:52] Damaged Parents: So is it using that adventure and just having this trust, I guess we're using all these words now, .
[00:22:58] Belle Lockerby: Yes, I know there's, there's so many words. It's
[00:23:01] Damaged Parents: fantastic though. Cause these are words we've talked about. Yeah. So trusting that the future will be what it will be and that you also need that adventure and that break and that peace..
[00:23:12] Damaged Parents: So that allows you to. to, to be present with yourself and what you need in that moment. So if you need to go surf, then you surf. If that's, if you're sensing that feeling, was there ever a point or how did you give yourself permission to do that? Especially as you're going through the brave or, or not the, the through the perimenopause.
[00:23:34] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm. or, you know, you're doing the brain fog. That was what I was trying, yeah. because you're beating yourself up a little bit it seems like.
[00:23:41] Belle Lockerby: That's right. Yeah. So brain fog for that phase was definitely beating myself up a little bit and I think I had to be okay. Around, or not really. Okay. But accept that I was in this deconstruction phase right.
[00:23:55] Belle Lockerby: Of kind of going through the mess and I was in, I was in the mess, like that messy middle. So I think sometimes with transformation, People love to like the, like they love the before and afters, right? Cause it's like, oh, this is what it looks like. And now look at, like, look over here. So whether you're renovating a house or whatever you're doing, you just see, you see the before and the after, but you don't see the blood, sweat, and tears that sits in the middle.
[00:24:20] Belle Lockerby: Right? Right. So whether it's the, the men, whether it's the mental work that you're doing, or whether it's physical work that you're doing, or whether it's, you know, visual work that you're doing in a space. They don't see that messy middle part. And I wanted it to be okay to have permission to say, it's all right.
[00:24:40] Belle Lockerby: I'm right now, I'm figuring things out and that's where I'm at. And that's okay. Yeah, and that's, I think that's important permission part to be okay with the mess. Be okay with the mess a little bit. Yep. It's because
[00:24:54] Damaged Parents: it seems like almost there's this point where you have. The choice to become okay living in the I don't know, world because with, with everything before, Just knowing, just from, from interviewing you a couple times now thinking that if I do X, Y, and Z, this will be the outcome.
[00:25:16] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And I'll be okay with the outcome. But now you're in this place where it's like you couldn't accomplish X, Y, and Z. Mm-hmm. , and you had to trust that it would still, the outcome would still happen on some level. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. While you're in this terrible mess,
[00:25:33] Belle Lockerby: Yes. While, while you're sitting in this mess, it's like, I've gotta trust that there's, there's a way through like that.
[00:25:39] Belle Lockerby: That's it. And, and that is why I do draw those big parallels through the lifecycle of the caterpillar. Like when it goes into. Like everyone knows what a caterpillar looks like, like it's quite easy to see them yeah. Popping around. Yeah. And then when you move into the chrysalis phase or when they go in, into the chrysalis, no one can unless you cut them open, which I think is cruel.
[00:26:01] Belle Lockerby: I. You can't see the mess that's sitting inside, right? Because they're completely deconstructing and in that same process, they're reconstructing. So they ca they have I did a lot of research on butterflies and caterpillars while I was writing this book. They have these little things called imaginal disks, which basically help in them emerging as the butterfly.
[00:26:21] Belle Lockerby: And the same I think happens for us. So we have these core values that are innate to us, or these talents that are innate to us, and it's around learning how we adapt and shift and, and come out the other side. So we're not losing who we are, but we are evolving how we are.
[00:26:37] Damaged Parents: Hmm. And I love the, the idea of what ha is happening in the chrysalis because it's a gooey desi.
[00:26:44] Damaged Parents: It's, it's not, there are no clear lines. It's gooey. No, it's messy. It's, it's kind of disgusting if you cut it open, right? Like Yeah. Yeah.
[00:26:54] Belle Lockerby: And it's the, it's the crime on the bathroom floor, stuff like that. That's , that's it. Where like, where your closest people get to see you in that gooey, messy.
[00:27:05] Damaged Parents: Yeah. What was that like for you to let them see you in that messy state?
[00:27:10] Belle Lockerby: Horrible
[00:27:10] Belle Lockerby: But I, but I had to, I think it, it shows you. What love looks like, like real love looks like for whether it's through friendship or relationship, what, whatever, whatever type it is, but you get to see what love looks like through that for yourself that, that gentleness for yourself that you have and what other people have for you as well.
[00:27:33] Belle Lockerby: So, yeah, it's very, it's a very humbling process to go through, that's for sure. ,
[00:27:39] Damaged Parents: most definitely. Okay. We are almost up, but I wanted to ask you if you had three tools or tips, which I am certain you do, . Oh, I do. Yeah, I, I do it, I do it for, for all of these women who are in their chrysalis phase .
[00:27:56] Belle Lockerby: Okay, so I th I think the chrysalis phase is such an important one for reflection where it's to start to explore any of the words that you have been fed about yourself or about the wor the world and what, so whether it's what success looks like or what love or wisdom looks like, or what what security looks like.
[00:28:18] Belle Lockerby: Any of those important words to you. . It's such a good opportunity to explore your values and your language in that phase, and then to think about how would you like to live them when you are through that phase, and what's important to you in terms of support, so your environment. Thinking about people that you might need to set boundaries with, whether you need to set boundaries with yourself, and one of those may be if you identify as like a, a strong woman or you've, you've raised, been raised that way, and I I identify that way.
[00:28:51] Belle Lockerby: How do you ensure that strong still has that boundary so that you allow yourself to be soft and vulnerable so that you don't feel as though you're going to become hard? So that you can keep those other elements of yourself. So I think that's really important to do in that phase is to, you know, really treat it as exploration and that it's not a, it is not a space to give up because then you stay in that mess space and, and trust that you'll come out of it.
[00:29:18] Belle Lockerby: But I think the introspection that you can do while you're in in there is incredibly valuable . Yeah.
[00:29:24] Damaged Parents: Oh, fantastic. I'm so glad I got to have you on the show today. I just wanna say hi to Jan, who put in the chat. Hi, Jan. Oh, loves Keith. Yeah, he's awesome. Love that being okay. And then I don't know, world you know, and that's that chrysalis phase.
[00:29:38] Damaged Parents: We don't know what we're gonna, yeah. Come out looking like, and that's why, I mean, even in the book, right out the gate, which is available the 22nd and where's it gonna but right out the gate in the book, I mean, I feel like there was such a huge connection to the metaphorical way that you were writing the book and it was so entertaining to read.
[00:29:59] Damaged Parents: The, the, the pages that I got to read, cuz I only got to take a sneak peek this morning. . But it's, it's anyway, so, but tell everyone where can they get The Words the Caterpillar Ate, can they pre-order it? All of the
[00:30:13] Belle Lockerby: good stuff. Yes, so you can get it at all the good bookstores. If you want to head over to my site https://bellelockerby.com/books, you'll find links to the major retailers there.
[00:30:25] Belle Lockerby: So it's available on Amazon, Kindle, apple iBooks. Booktopia. Where else have we got? I'm trying to think. Barnes and Noble, anywhere that you want to purchase it, whether you're looking to get an ebook version, which will download on the 22nd, or you wanting to get a paper back. And I do know that Amazon or somewhere in the chain of things books have been released early, so I'm just trusting that the people who get them early need to need to read them early
[00:30:53] Belle Lockerby: so great little gift for Thanksgiving or for Christmas as well, and that it really is about helping you understand yourself and others and really grow that level of understanding for where you are at or where someone else is at. And that's part of why I wrote it, is to help navigate that space. Yeah,
[00:31:08] Damaged Parents: that messy, messy time.
[00:31:10] Damaged Parents: So everybody, you can find Belle@bellelockerby.com. She's also on Facebook. Facebook. Wow. . Face back. No, it's Facebook. . . Hey there Bell. B e l l e. And then on Insta it's just Belle Lockerby. So thank you so much for coming on this show today. Thank you. Glad to
[00:31:31] Belle Lockerby: have you back. You've been awesome. Thank you so much and if there are any comments that pop on on the replays, I'll be sure to pop on by and and answer any questions as well.
[00:31:40] Belle Lockerby: So thank you so much. Thank
[00:31:42] Damaged Parents: you. We'll see you guys later. Bye-bye. Bye.
Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Belle about how she redefined menopause. We especially liked when she spoke about how sometimes it's not just mindset, but much, much more to unite with other damaged people connect with us on Instagram, look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then
