S3E12: Kitt O'Malley Living a Bipolar Life
Kitt O'Malley's biggest struggle was overcoming internalized stigma, accepting herself, and loving herself. When her diagnosis changed from depression to bipolar disorder, she feared she was now an unfit mother, and she was a licensed psychotherapist.
Social media and contact information:
BOOK LINK
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B083H59W59
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
https://www.twitter.com/KittOMalley
https://www.facebook.com/KittOMalleyAuthor
https://www.instagram.com/kittomalley
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kittomalley
Podcast Transcript
[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today we have Kitt O'Malley with us. She is the author of Balancing Act Writing Through a Bipolar Life. She is a mental health advocate. Public speaker and former psychotherapist who lives with bipolar disorder, her personal experience and clinical background inform her advocacy and enable her to help herself and guide others toward mental health recovery.
[00:00:26] Damaged Parents: You can find her at https://KittOMalley.Com. That's K I T T O'Malley dot com. And if you look for her on social media, just look up Kitt O'Malley. You'll find her.
[00:00:36]
[00:00:37] Damaged Parents: Welcome to the show Kitt.
[00:00:39] Kitt O'Malley: Thank you for having me.
[00:00:42] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I am just amazed at the little bit I know about your story. I mean, you were a parent and you thought you were struggling with depression.
[00:00:53] Damaged Parents: Tell tell, let's tell the listeners a little bit. Catch them up.
[00:00:57] Kitt O'Malley: Yeah, that's actually, that was the most difficult. I mean, I had had mental health crises before, but when I was when my son was 27 months old I started to, I had been diagnosed with depression since I was 18, so and so from 18 to 39, even though I had had a manic episode at 30, that manic episode was considered triggered by medication.
[00:01:22] Kitt O'Malley: And and I wasn't diagnosed bipolar. I still had the diagnosis of depression with one episode that they considered what they call iatrogenic, which is caused by medication, basically caused by the treatment. So I was stabilized in living on antidepressants, and then when I was 39 I had these experiences of feeling euphoria and that God was calling me to one church for spiritual direction and to another church for Bible study.
[00:01:57] Kitt O'Malley: Now, going to those churches and doing those things was fine, was those behaviors were fined and, and were good. So the content. Wasn't a problem, but the euphoric feeling, I acknowledge at that point in time as being hypomanic.
[00:02:13] Damaged Parents: So, so that's just under manic, right?
[00:02:16] Kitt O'Malley: So Correct.
[00:02:18] Damaged Parents: You're almost there, but you're not quite.
[00:02:20] Kitt O'Malley: Right in mild mania, . Okay. So I didn't have like the rushing thoughts. I didn't have the sleeplessness, I didn't have, you know, I wasn't behaving in ways that were destructive. My behavior was with, with was, you know, within the normal realm of behavior to go to Bible study or to go to be a spiritual direction, go to church.
[00:02:40] Kitt O'Malley: There were healthy things I was doing, but I, I still knew that, that feeling, that euphoria. Was symptomatic for me. I, you know, I think that it's possible to have euphoria that's not symptomatic, that is, within normal realm. But because given my background and given that I was a mother, I wanted to make sure that I didn't just leave, that I didn't.
[00:03:04] Kitt O'Malley: That I treated, symptoms that I had.
[00:03:07] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm.
[00:03:07] Kitt O'Malley: So, I called the advice nurse on my insurance and I asked my husband to get on the line so he could hear the conversation and know how serious this was. And I explained to her my symptoms and she said, go to the emergency room or to a psychiatrist today. So I wasn't able to get into a psych, see a psychiatrist cause it was like Friday afternoon.
[00:03:30] Kitt O'Malley: So I uh, made an appointment for the next Monday, went in to see my regular doctor. She gave me you know, something to, to help me over the weekend. She gave me a mood stabilizer to help me over the weekend and she said this is not something I treat. You have to see a psychiatrist on Monday. And I said, I, I have an appointment, don't worry.
[00:03:49] Kitt O'Malley: I just wasn't able to get one today. but what's interesting and what happened at this time in my life is I thought here I was the same person. You know, my diagnosis changed and my treatment changed, but I was the same person with a diagnosis of depression as I was with the diagnosis of bipolar.
[00:04:09] Kitt O'Malley: But I thought my son would be better off. I thought that my son would be in danger in my care
[00:04:18] Damaged Parents: because now you had just this diagnosis,
[00:04:21] Kitt O'Malley: just with the diagnosis.
[00:04:23] Damaged Parents: The difference is the diagnosis changed. That was it.
[00:04:26] Kitt O'Malley: The only difference was the diagnosis changed. All of a sudden, my mindset, I had this internalized stigma and I was a former psychotherapist, so I knew what bipolar was.
[00:04:36] Kitt O'Malley: you know, I had worked with kids with bipolar, so I thought, oh, now I have a, a severe. Progressive mental illness and I am possibly dangerous, you know, if my behavior could be dangerous to my child. And so I put him in daycare and I went to work, back to work. I was a stay-at-home mom at that time.
[00:04:59] Kitt O'Malley: I wasn't able to, but that was so, that was like the, like the worst feeling to think that you. For me to think that I was not capable of being a good mom just because a label had changed.
[00:05:13] Damaged Parents: Yeah. That just is so amazing to me because, I've, I've also been watching this story with a person with a disability who's pregnant and she's getting all kinds of hate, and then you were diagnosed, you could be a mom.
[00:05:27] Damaged Parents: In fact, you've, you've got, you were successful at parenting him. He's now much older and his twenties, I think, right?
[00:05:34] Kitt O'Malley: Yes. He's 22 year old college student. Yeah. And he actually, I, I wasn't able to maintain working and being a mom and being a wife and all that kind of stuff. I ended up hospitalized voluntarily.
[00:05:46] Kitt O'Malley: And after that was, has had been home with him during his whole life. He actually was a high needs kid. He had severe migraines that were gastrointestinal migraines, meaning he would throw up. So at first we thought he was just getting sick all the time. And he had depression and anxiety, so he actually needed somebody with some serious skill set to parent him.
[00:06:08] Kitt O'Malley: And now as a 22 year old independent college student, he regularly thanks me for how I raised him. So I'm like, wow.
[00:06:18] Damaged Parents: What would you say is the most important thing that you were able to do as a parent? Like, I mean, not like physically do, but. Well, maybe physically, what was the most important thing for you?
[00:06:35] Kitt O'Malley: Honestly, the most important thing because I was parented by an emotionally, at times, emotionally abusive mother who never, ever acknowledged or had insight really into how her behavior was harming, harmful, and never apologized ever for anything. So for me, the most important thing was to apologize when I made a mistake.
[00:06:59] Kitt O'Malley: Because if you want your kid to be somebody who has empathy and takes responsibility for their behavior, you have to take responsibility for your behavior. So I had to acknowledge my imperfection as a parent.
[00:07:16] Damaged Parents: Yeah, and I would say love him.
[00:07:20] Kitt O'Malley: Oh yes, of course .
[00:07:21] Damaged Parents: I think that goes, I think that goes like, we don't think of that, right?
[00:07:26] Damaged Parents: I mean, we just think that's a given.
[00:07:27] Kitt O'Malley: Yes,
[00:07:27] Damaged Parents: we love our children, period.
[00:07:29] Kitt O'Malley: Right.
[00:07:30] Damaged Parents: But I agree with you on the apology and, and a lot of times I think as a parent, I know when I was first a parent, I don't know if you were this way too, it's like, Nope, it's my way or the highway and da da da da da, and I don't make mistakes.
[00:07:45] Damaged Parents: That's how I grew up, et cetera. You're nodding your head like, yes, . So at what point did you realize how important the apology was?
[00:07:56] Kitt O'Malley: I think that it was my, it was trial and error in how we parented him and getting a lot of help in terms of adjusting my expectations in terms of how to parent him because his needs were so unique.
[00:08:12] Kitt O'Malley: So I realized, and there were just certain instances in which I clearly made a mistake, and in which I, I just remembered from my childhood, having never been, Apologized, you know, never having somebody admit they were wrong. That I had to say, I'm so sorry that I just did that, that I just said that, but I just did that.
[00:08:34] Kitt O'Malley: You know, like, you know when you lose temper with your kid and you'd say something or do something that's not right you, that you know is not right. Luckily, I had the insight to know, oh, that was not Okay.
[00:08:48] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Well, did he ever get comfortable enough in saying, Hey, mom, that was not cool?
[00:08:54] Kitt O'Malley: Yes. We actually got to the point because first we, I was, I've always been a, a sort of a, I had him, he was always actively a part of his own treatment.
[00:09:05] Kitt O'Malley: You know, he was in therapy starting at four and so he, and he was just a, he was a very uh, spirited child in a good. And the one thing that I will say, I thankful to my parents. Cause my parents were loving. And it, you know, is that I was always encouraged to speak my mind.
[00:09:24] Kitt O'Malley: You know, and, and we would have sort of debates and stuff at the dinner table and things like that. So intellectually I was, taught that way. And so I taught my son the same way, like cri to be, have critical thinking and to speak and to share what you're thinking and feeling and, and your opinion.
[00:09:43] Kitt O'Malley: So, I think we always tried to listen. And I think that the be best way to parent is to, is to listen. Not only listen with your ears, but listen with your heart. Because your child may need something that is different than what another child may need. Even siblings could have different needs based upon their temperaments.
[00:10:03] Damaged Parents: How did you do that? How did you learn to listen with your heart? Because that seems like a. I know for me it was hard to, can, can you even articulate how to do that? Because I don't know that I could have, I know many years ago I couldn't have it. Now I'm still trying to figure out what is that , you know how I get there.
[00:10:26] Kitt O'Malley: Yeah. I, I think it's too, rather than take like a boiler plate idea like, well if My kid does this, then the, the consequences is this you have to pay attention to. And I think what, I'm gonna back up a little bit. When I was a therapist one of the things I did was I worked in residential treatment for severely emotionally disturbed adolescent girls.
[00:10:54] Damaged Parents: And the treatment model was a like a hu. Now I'm forgetting the, the term for it. But anyway, rather than use the technical term because it's escaping my brain right now, basically we would tailor disciplines to the individual kid. Because what would work with one kid wouldn't work with another and we would have what's called a disciplinary committee.
[00:11:17] Damaged Parents: They were adolescents. So an adolescent can be involved at a different level in their own treatment and discipline. And so at that time we would tailor it like what would work for this kid? So what would work for one kid might be the total opposite of what would work for another kid. and some kids you had to completely like, regroup constantly because of their, you know, just because of who they were.
[00:11:39] Damaged Parents: So I already had that training. Luckily that each, that I, that you, you have to pay attention to what is working rather than what you think is supposed to work. Because what, so, so that would be with the heart is sort of observing the effect on your child of what you were doing. Is this working? Is this not working?
[00:12:08] Damaged Parents: Would it be fair to say, you know, to ask myself the question, is this what this child needs?
[00:12:15] Kitt O'Malley: Thank you. That is exactly the way it is. That is exactly, exactly. You're articulating it better than I'm able to. I'm not in a morning person. , . Oh, that's exactly it. No, that's exactly it.
[00:12:28] Kitt O'Malley: Thank you. Thank you for putting it in exactly the right terms. I'm just not a morning person. I need like five more coffees or something.
[00:12:35] Damaged Parents: Oh dear. I think I saw meme. I need to find and send you.
[00:12:40] Kitt O'Malley: No, I really, I Sorry for the little swallow there where I took a
[00:12:44] Damaged Parents: Oh, you're fine.
[00:12:44] Kitt O'Malley: Little sip of, of of coffee.
[00:12:47] Kitt O'Malley: No, that is exactly it. To, you know, what does my child need to ask yourself? What does my child need? What does my child need now? Right. So in this instant,
[00:13:00] Damaged Parents: right, right now you're struggling with bipolar. You've got a very spirited child with A D H D um, all of this is going on. How do you even get to a point where you can ask that question of yourself?
[00:13:14] Damaged Parents: What or of that, you know, when you're trying to understand what he needed, how did you help yourself get there?
[00:13:23] Kitt O'Malley: That was, that's a good question. It actually at when he was four, let me see. Almost, yeah. When he was five, when he was, just before he went into kindergarten, he my son had this, you know, A D H D and he was just in child seeing a child psychologist.
[00:13:41] Kitt O'Malley: And and it turned out his, the psychologist I found for him was better than my psychologist, so I switched over to his psychologist, who for me, I was like, oh, she's good. And so he, One day he was so out of it, he would get in these red zones. And he was so in this red zone that he was taking a, he had a broom handle and he was like chasing me and hitting me with it.
[00:14:04] Kitt O'Malley: And I was just because of where he was, he was just, he was very destructive. So I, I. Barricaded myself in my master bedroom while he's hitting the door and, you know, stuff like that. And I called the psychologist and I said, can I, can I return him ? I was in, in tears. I was like, I can't do this anymore.
[00:14:27] Kitt O'Malley: Yeah, I just can't. And she said, no Kitt, you can't return him. I'm gonna get you in to see a psychiatrist tomorrow. So that you can get him on medication if you know, because this is just not working. You know, the psychotherapy was not working.
[00:14:42] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And I think a lot of times parents, in your situation, not only were you struggling with your own struggle, but you also have a son struggling as well, and it's really easy to ask that question, like to go there for it to cross your mind and think, oh, is that an option? And even check it, you know, I would think. And, and that's what I'm, I, I'm hopeful to normalize a little bit that. Sometimes those thoughts, they, they happen and we grab onto them and you're nodding, like absolutely in your face.
[00:15:17] Damaged Parents: Totally just relaxed. I mean, tell, tell us what your thoughts are about things like that.
[00:15:24] Kitt O'Malley: Yeah. I think in fact in my writing, I expressed a lot of what would, what it would be considered disturbing. You know, thoughts, intrusive thoughts to sort of normalize it? Not, you know, I didn't behave on those thoughts, you know, I didn't return 'em.
[00:15:39] Kitt O'Malley: Instead, I called the psychologist and basically, expressed the feeling and the thought and the, just the desperation. But it's possible to have those thoughts and those feelings and not to act on them in a negative way. So, to normalize it is to let people, is to let parents know it's okay. Yeah, it's okay to feel like that it's okay to have these thoughts and feelings that it's not so abnormal, especially when you're going through like this, the mental health issues that, you know, my mental illness, my son's A D H D and.
[00:16:20] Kitt O'Malley: And in the past I, you know, like postpartum, you know, you have the hormonal changes and the lack, the sleep, le deprivation. I think more people than we realize have these very disturbing thoughts.
[00:16:32] Damaged Parents: Yeah, I think that there's this big fear that happens and because there's this big fear that happens around the, oh my gosh, I had these thoughts if I tell anyone.
[00:16:40] Damaged Parents: And then sometimes in telling someone about the thoughts, they panic. Even clinicians panic. And then, you know, next thing you know, it's, it's wondering if you're gonna get whisked away and, and things like that, which is not generally the case. I mean, you worked in, in psychotherapy, I don't think everyone gets whisked away.
[00:16:58] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Just for having a thought.
[00:17:00] Kitt O'Malley: Right. And that's something like even I had a, family member who when I started blogging about this expressed concern that my son would be taken away from me. You know, because I even wrote about slapping him, you know, when I lost my temper, which is not okay. And that's the sort of, that's exactly what I would apologize for.
[00:17:20] Kitt O'Malley: And if my son would say, you know, like one time my son turned his head as I slapped him. And so I ended up cuffing his ear and he said he had ringing in his ear. So we took him to the family practitioner or to our doctor. I said, tell him exactly what happened. It's okay. Mm-hmm. , you know, cuz kids know.
[00:17:38] Kitt O'Malley: Child Protective Services at a certain age. They know about all that stuff. And, and they even threatened Atla. My son did
[00:17:46] Damaged Parents: well, the well educated children, I think. Yeah. The, well,
[00:17:48] Kitt O'Malley: he's like, I will, you know that he, he, at one point he said when he wanted to see anyway, when he wanted to see a particular specialist, he said, if you don't take me, I will call Child Protective Services, cuz that's medical neglect.
[00:18:00] Kitt O'Malley: And I would just roll just like. You're gonna go anyway.
[00:18:05] Damaged Parents: He's right though, right? He's like, he's like, I need this. And he's like, I'm gonna stand up for it no matter what I have to do.
[00:18:11] Kitt O'Malley: He was just, he's just so. He was So, but I encourage that kind of, you know, that kind of being able to do that, you know, being able to have that kind of repartee.
[00:18:21] Kitt O'Malley: When that time when we went to the doctor, he told the story and also you know, I said like, what ha what I had done? I said, yeah, I lost my temper. That's not okay. The doctor checked his ears, he's fine. And then he told the doctor what? I said, TA tell the doctor what precipitated this?
[00:18:42] Kitt O'Malley: You know, like, what was your behavior that I reacted to? Not I, I said My beha, my response was wrong, absolutely wrong, but, you know, and then he said, he, he, that he had called me an effing bitch. But the full thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and this is when, I think he was like 10 years old, and the doctor who was African American, he and his wife had a practice.
[00:19:07] Kitt O'Malley: They were both African American, they were former military. And in their community you do not disre disrespect your mother period. Right. And so he said, well, if you had done that in our household to my wife, you would've gotten a lot.
[00:19:25] Damaged Parents: Okay. I have to go back to him calling you out though on what he needed.
[00:19:30] Kitt O'Malley: Yes.
[00:19:30] Damaged Parents: And I think sometimes, like being a parent that gives their children power is, is maybe it can be harder because it's, it's not my way or the highway. So would you say that. By giving him power and you learning to apologize, what did that teach you?
[00:19:52] Damaged Parents: And, and maybe what did it appear to teach him? Because he's not here to answer ,
[00:19:57] Kitt O'Malley: right. I think that it taught me well, a lot of things have taught me humility in a very good way, in a spiritual way. You know that, first of all, you don't have to be perfect. and nobody is perfect and that you can be good enough and, you know, without being perfect.
[00:20:19] Kitt O'Malley: So I think that that's one thing it taught me. Another thing it taught me is that my son's experience is, Well, first of all, you, you don't know. You can only observe somebody's behavior. You do not know what is going on really internally, and you can interpret their behavior in different ways. So to fully understand what's going on, you have to listen.
[00:20:43] Kitt O'Malley: You have to have a dialogue. I remember my husband used to say like, why is he doing this? Why is he doing this? Why is he doing this? When he'd be outta control in his behavior? And I'd say there's really not... He's not, this is not purposeful behavior. He does not want to be like a Tasmanian devil right now and be doing all of these destructive things.
[00:21:04] Kitt O'Malley: It's not something that's purposeful, it's something that's out of control. He's out of control. And it's not a why, it's a like, let's just address, let's help him, you know? and he got to the point where he was, he was very much in terms of his treatment, he was very much. a partner in his treatment.
[00:21:23] Kitt O'Malley: So he would say, my son would say I if, if he felt out of control or something, or if his medic, if he felt he needed help with his medications, he'd say, mom, I wanna see Dr. So-and-so.
[00:21:35] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm.
[00:21:36] Kitt O'Malley: soon. Soon.
[00:21:37] Damaged Parents: So he had a lot of power and say so.
[00:21:39] Kitt O'Malley: Yes and yes.
[00:21:40] Damaged Parents: I'm, I'm wondering if there were also times where he didn't want that and he would say that, and you'd have to go on that part of the adventure too.
[00:21:48] Kitt O'Malley: Yes. There were times when. I gave him the choice to, because I put him in therapy when he was four. By the time he was 10, he said, mom, can I stop doing therapy? I said, sure. You've been doing it since you're four. If you ever decide you wanna do it again, that's fine. He still, he was, particularly for him, he found medication more useful than therapy.
[00:22:13] Kitt O'Malley: And of course when we went into the psychiatrist for medication, we still would be doing therapy too. Cause we would be talking as a family or as me and my son, you know, depending on what age he was and whether my husband had the time in his day to do it. So he still did get therapy in that the psychiatrist talked to us, but not the individual therapy, you know, for, you know, 50 minutes type thing.
[00:22:37] Kitt O'Malley: So, and then when he was older, if there were times that he'd ever, he'd wanna address, he'd ask, may I go into therapy for this issue? Or the psychiatrist might say you, Matthew, you must go to therapy for. You know, for me to continue treating you for this period of time. You know what I mean? And, and then yeah, it would be a negotiation with the psychiatrist and me in terms of when and how long and regarding what,
[00:23:02] Damaged Parents: right? So it really did become a partnership. Okay. So what would be the top three tools or tips as a parent? I mean, just as someone with bipolar or a parent with bipolar, or just a parent with a child that is also struggling. You've got so many aspects to your story here, , that, that you've got a broad range of three tools or tips.
[00:23:26] Kitt O'Malley: right? Well first, if you, you must take care of yourself. This is a general statement and then I can bore down into it more detailed. So everybody must adre take care of themselves because you cannot take care of somebody else if you are not taking care of yourself. I mean, you can, but it was not sustainable.
[00:23:47] Kitt O'Malley: Right, you'll
[00:23:48] Kitt O'Malley: just fall apart. So you must take care of yourself. So for somebody with a severe mental illness, that involves taking my medication, going to therapy, getting s support, you know, using coping skills. For everybody, though, you must take care of yourself. You must take care of your physical, emotional, spiritual health.
[00:24:07] Kitt O'Malley: Second, listen well, well take care of who, who you are taking care. You know, address, address their needs, listen to them and address their needs. So if you do, I have a pretty strong, I'm a, I personally have benefited for medication and my son's benefited for medication. Not everybody does, but if you have a kid who is struggling in school, you know, and struggling at home, and their behavior is out of control.
[00:24:40] Kitt O'Malley: Please consider it because you're not doing your kid a favor by not treating them. And early intervention helps. I'm not saying don't overmedicate them. Don't you know what I mean? I'm saying what do what they need. Okay. So some, a lot of kids, all they need is therapy. You know, other kids is, you know, maybe occupational therapy or psychotherapy, you know, or you know, so there's different, other kids need do need
[00:25:10] Kitt O'Malley: medication, which is what my kid needed. So, but, and listen to them like it's not, just, don't impose it upon them and involve them in that process. And I think the third thing is you are enough.
[00:25:29] Damaged Parents: Hmm.
[00:25:31] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I know there's a, a quote I made. You are, and because you are, that is enough.
[00:25:41] Kitt O'Malley: Oh, I love that. I love that.
[00:25:43] Damaged Parents: It's, i, I think a lot of us forget that just for the simple reason that we exist, it's enough and. And that's just a way to spread love, I think.
[00:25:57] Kitt O'Malley: Exactly. It's, I was just thinking as you were saying it, I was thinking that totally ties into that we are all loved, we are all lovable, and we are all capable of loving.
[00:26:16] Kitt O'Malley: and so that's the enoughness , right? You don't have to do those things perfectly. Like I think we are all loved unconditionally. Like we might not understand it, but we are just like you're saying, you're enough and just being and having it, having it to do with love. We are all loved unconditionally and that's where we are and that's what, and that's what leads to us being enough.
[00:26:37] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:26:38] Kitt O'Malley: But in, even if we don't love perfectly, which we're not ma capable of, we make mistakes for human. That's ano. It's still enough to be loving and,
[00:26:49] Damaged Parents: mm, so true. I'm so glad you got to come on this show and we got to have this conversation. I wish we had more time, but we don't . I might have to have you back,
[00:26:59] Kitt O'Malley: Oh, I would love that. I would love that. I, I just, you're, you're, I just, I love. I love how you center yourself and you're so mindful and, and caring in your message. It's just beautiful.
[00:27:15] Damaged Parents: Oh, thank you. Thank you. I mean, I'm just grateful that you're, that there are more people out there than just me sharing the message and sharing that love and really trying to show people what it means instead of tell them, do X, Y, and Z.
[00:27:30] Damaged Parents: But everyone, we've gotta close out the show, so I wanna make sure you know exactly where to find. It's https://KittOMalley.Com or you can go to Link Tree where all of her links are. Uh, You can go to Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Pinterest. Okay. You guys get it. She's everywhere. , thank you so much for coming on this show,
[00:27:53] Kitt O'Malley: Thank you Angela. I had a great time.
[00:27:55] Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Kitt about how after being diagnosed as bipolar, she questioned herself as a parent. We especially liked when she spoke about loving herself and her child, as they both struggled through their challenges. To unite with other damaged people connect with us on Instagram look for damaged parents We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then
