S3E11: Kathleen Putnam - How to Heal from Food Trauma

Kathleen Putnam is the founder of NutritionWorks and Trauma Dietitian, co-host of Challenging Conversations. She is trained in mindfulness, self-compassion, and trauma-informed practices, Kathleen is an educator, coach, and healthcare provider providing compassionate care and trauma-informed practices to her clients.

Social media and contact information:

The Trauma Dietitian: www.NoMoreFoodTrauma.com
Nutrition Works: www.NutritionWorkSeattle.com
End of Life Doula and Grief Coach: www.KathleenPutnam.net

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDHofYQDhp9ZMpxbPMnVsug
Challenging Conversations: https://www.facebook.com/Challenging-Conversations-100565012533276/?ref=pages_you_manage
Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-putnam-ms-rdn-cdn-5a19243/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/traumadietitian/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KPcoach/?ref=pages_you_manage
https://www.facebook.com/NutritionWorkSeattle/?ref=pages_you_manage

Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today we have Kathleen Putnam with us. She is the founder of Nutrition Works and she's also a trauma dietician, and the co-founder of Gentle Passage Doula. Collective. She's the co-host of Challenging Conversations and a holding space consultant, sacred Passage, end of life doula, and a certified end of life grief coach.

[00:00:24] Damaged Parents: She brings in the art of holding space, safe guidance, and compassionate decision making with her clients. She's trained in mindfulness, self-compassion, trauma-informed practices. She's also an educator, coach and healthcare provider providing compassionate care and trauma informed practices to her group's, mentorship, nutrition, practice, and end of life clientele.

[00:00:48] Damaged Parents: You can find her at https://nomorefoodtrauma.com

[00:00:52]

[00:00:52] Damaged Parents: Kathleen welcome to the show.

[00:00:56] Kathleen Putnam: Thanks. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to talk to you today.

[00:01:01] Damaged Parents: Oh, I'm so excited. I mean, and that wasn't even it. You've taught in higher education for over 20 years. You also supervised mentor, and you're a preceptor for graduate students in the field of nutrition, and you were the public speaker for the commencement of the graduating class at Best Year in

[00:01:18] Damaged Parents: 2022.

[00:01:19] Kathleen Putnam: right? .

[00:01:21] Damaged Parents: You are a busy woman. .

[00:01:25] Kathleen Putnam: Well, there's lots to do right now. That's what I have to say. and it's easy to get bored sometimes. , you know, the learning curve and keeping your ear to the ground for what people need. And right now people need a lot. Yeah.

[00:01:41] Damaged Parents: So, People need a lot right now. What do you mean by that?

[00:01:45] Damaged Parents: That just seems so open-ended. to me, what are you finding?

[00:01:50] Kathleen Putnam: Well, I think that the isolation, because of the last few years, people are feeling really lonely and now, People are starting to actually realize that that scientifically based, that loneliness is a risk factor and that stress is a risk factor. And historically we always knew that, I think everybody who works with anyone, students, healthcare, you know, anything that stress is a big problem.

[00:02:19] Kathleen Putnam: now we have so much data and that loneliness and isolation and really realizing our go-tos weren't so accessible, including our community, being able to see family and friends take vacation, all that kind of self-care type of, uh, Sustaining that a lot of us got used to, as well as just our regular routines, right?

[00:02:41] Kathleen Putnam: Being able to go to a gym, being able to jump on an airplane. so the instability, I think, uh, has caused a lot of need.

[00:02:52] Damaged Parents: So do you think, cuz I know we're here to talk about struggle and I'm just wondering, do you think that all of that quiet time may have helped kind of stir up some of those traumas that maybe weren't, I don't know if assimilated integrated, uh, any one of those words might work, but it throughout life, uh, that now that's showing up because of that

[00:03:14] Damaged Parents: quiet time.

[00:03:15] Kathleen Putnam: I do. And I think if we don't have the coping skills and if we didn't have ways of managing it other than our go-tos, potentially some of our coping mechanisms got worse. So in the field of nutrition, we definitely saw people drinking more, eating more. potentially exercising more, you know, so it's, if, if we have a coping mechanism that's not real balanced, there was a risk and a potential for it getting even more imbalanced.

[00:03:43] Kathleen Putnam: And for those of us who , had a relatively good routine, or we were, managing okay, because of the last few years. Maybe some of those things started to pop up because the stress got higher, or the instability, uh, knocked us off track.

[00:04:05] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:07] Damaged Parents: The stress. When you're talking about stress, I, I'm thinking it's not the good stress, it's things that are overwhelming or

[00:04:14] Damaged Parents: frustrating.

[00:04:16] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah. And when you think about managing stress, it's, it's being able to cope. So when we're overwhelmed, It's when we don't have enough coping mechanisms in place to be able to contain it without doing some kind of harm either to ourself or someone else, or both. And so it's not being able to match. The stressors that are coming.

[00:04:42] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Mm-hmm. .

[00:04:43] Damaged Parents: So how would someone know, I mean, maybe they think they're doing well, but from your, the knowledge and perspective and insight that you have, maybe they're not, what would they look for if, they're not doing well in managing that stress?

[00:04:57] Kathleen Putnam: Right. So I think really for people who are in tune, they don't feel right, their body doesn't feel right, they're worried about their mind, they're overthinking, you know, ruminating or they're, um, having a lot of regrets.

[00:05:15] Kathleen Putnam: Um, future tripping. Okay. Worried about the future, not being able to sleep, not being able to eat, overeating, drinking, kind of finding those escapes. So Exas, you know, moving back and forth between feeling depressed and lethargic to feeling really anxious potentially. And so it can show up for people in different ways.

[00:05:37] Kathleen Putnam: So we have some objective stuff where we can see the scale go up, we can see our clothes don't fit. we can see our bills. are mounting because we're spending too much on, you know, Netflix or, or alcohol. So it's, there's objective data and then there's just also the subjective data about my stomachs and knots all the time.

[00:06:04] Kathleen Putnam: I'm having loose stools, so it could show up in a lot of d I'm, I'm having, um, rash. You know, so it could be all kinds of things for different people. Okay. And it could be multiple

[00:06:16] Kathleen Putnam: things. Yep.

[00:06:16] Damaged Parents: So ultimately then someone's got to be aware of how they're feeling and. I mean, I'm thinking most people are somewhat aware, but maybe wanna deny it.

[00:06:33] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah. And I think the other thing that we, you know, we're talking, we're always talking about the children and how it's impacting the children and how it's impacting adults and our parents and the elderly. And I think we have to take into. Account developmental, you know, ability and capability. I have a young adult right now who was going through high school, through covid, and so that breakout and freedom and independence and challenging rules and stretching your limits was incredibly contained.

[00:07:07] Kathleen Putnam: And so the developmental process was somewhat altered, halted, and changed significantly. And so, The ability to be self-aware, that has been stunted somewhat because of the inability to test limits. And so I think it's conversation. I think it's also being able to listen and, trust other people to give you feedback or to have people that you can check in with, you know?

[00:07:37] Kathleen Putnam: I feel like I'm really forgetful. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm lost my keys all the time. Do I seem more stressed? Do I seem more edgy? What is it like to live with me ? and just kind of getting some feedback can be really helpful too, because we're somewhat stir crazy. It's gotten better, you know?

[00:07:57] Kathleen Putnam: some of the regulations lifting, but there's been some residual, and I think there can be, some people use that time to be more self-aware, and some people use that time to get more busy. And some people also use that time to, unplug and go, go numb and get overwhelmed. So it's different for different people.

[00:08:22] Damaged Parents: Yeah, so it sounds like asking the people around you might be important and probably really scary. I'm thinking of a time I asked for good and bad feedback. . I don't know if it's good. You know, bottom line was I wanted the things that they saw positive and I wanted the things that they perceived as negative so that I could take a look at myself, and it was really interesting.

[00:08:45] Damaged Parents: Hearing and seeing what they had to say about the things that they did not like about me.

[00:08:52] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah.

[00:08:53] Damaged Parents: And, Or things they didn't see as helpful in me. Uh, you know, so that can be scary, I think on both sides sometimes. Mm-hmm. , you know, can I, can I be honest with this person when I tell them I'm struggling?

[00:09:07] Damaged Parents: You know? Or are they gonna have a huge temper tantrum? because I'm sharing with them something I'm worried about in them. There's that huge dynamic

[00:09:17] Damaged Parents: right there.

[00:09:18] Kathleen Putnam: Mm-hmm. . It is. And so it's important for you to feel safe. and do that only with people who are trusted and you know, care about you and have your best interest at heart.

[00:09:32] Kathleen Putnam: And so safety actually is the core essential component for us to be able to come out of stress is to feel safe and secure. and a lot of the things that we have had historically have been, you know, safety and quite frankly, everything always has changed. but so much so at once. And this universal change and then not to be triggered or, activated by other people's behavior is also really important and to also be really, really kind.

[00:10:06] Kathleen Putnam: And that's why that self-compassion is super important. Because you have a choice about how much you value somebody's opinion. You know, it's uh, really , building that strength of knowing yourself and what's really important to you. And there are some things that people will give me feedback about and it's like, yeah, that's just not that important to me.

[00:10:29] Kathleen Putnam: that's just not on my value radar, but how you felt when you were with me. That feels really important. And when I get feedback that is difficult for me to hear, I usually like to take it in and, Always think someone, because sometimes it takes a lot of courage, you know, to give somebody feedback.

[00:10:55] Kathleen Putnam: And the other thing that I know is just because of this stress and trauma being activated, you know, covid is traumatic for all of us. A pandemic is trauma, so we're universally all going through it. . And so when that happens, our window of tolerance, our ability to cope, our ability to, you know, respond and s not have the temper tantrum or not completely withdraw and isolate, um, has been narrowed.

[00:11:22] Kathleen Putnam: And so to know that more people are gonna be activated and to take in that feedback and go, oh, I think that that informed me about how maybe I might be able to do this better next time. And I've learned that from my students and from my patients alike, where it's like, This is how it made me feel, or this was, this is what this experience was like, or, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to work with you.

[00:11:47] Kathleen Putnam: And I think it's reasonable right now that all of us get some feedback like that right now because there's a lot that's going on that's not really conscious. And what I tell people universally is, thank you so much. Because it's gonna help me be a better practitioner. It's gonna help me be a better educator.

[00:12:06] Kathleen Putnam: I try to use this with my daughter. It helps me be a better mom. It helps me be a better partner the more that I know, especially in dealing with you one-on-one, especially in those important intimate relationships that we have. Oh, yeah. And then I get to decide, how true it is for me and how I can show up and then ask for that feedback later.

[00:12:24] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm. ,

[00:12:25] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah. I had a really good recommendation once is to fit the names of the people that I want to take their opinion. on the size of a postage stamp. And you can't, you know, like write. So what that means is two or three people, And that'll help guide you . Those are your core people that you trust and they'll help guide you and then , work through the noise, um, and

[00:12:51] Damaged Parents: Right.

[00:12:52] Kathleen Putnam: Trust your intuition. Yeah.

[00:12:53] Damaged Parents: okay, so I have a couple of things here I wanna talk about. if someone's experienced trauma and a relationship, or maybe emotional abuse or something like that, How do they determine who safe people are? Because it, it seems to me when I talk to some of those people, like they're going to the person who is not safe, and asking for feedback.

[00:13:11] Damaged Parents: And then also if we could talk a little bit about what noise is.

[00:13:15] Kathleen Putnam: Hmm. Yeah. So, you know, I'm not a trauma therapist, but , what's really important is. That we can be incredibly skewed, um, with what feels like normal. I'm gonna just put that in quotes and none of us are normal. So, um, what I wanna do is tell you the core components of compassion are you're not alone.

[00:13:39] Kathleen Putnam: Okay. There's other people just like you experiencing similar things. Very much like you. There's no one just like you, but you are not alone with your experience. And then secondly is when you are suffering, whatever that might look like, whether it be, um, you know, some form of abuse or some form of, um, neglect, uh, whatever it might be, is that suffering is a, a universal human experience.

[00:14:06] Kathleen Putnam: Okay. And, and the word suffering's kind of nice because it's not attached to all these other labels, like you're a depressed person or anxious person, which may also have connotations in our own brain being rejected or judged or whatever. And then, , thirdly is. The most important thing to kind of get to over and over and over again in practice is being kind to yourself.

[00:14:31] Kathleen Putnam: That you're gonna, no matter what is that you're gonna be kind to yourself. And I think it's this, taking deep breaths and getting yourself calm and really, Figuring out what that is. It may be a walk. The recommendations are things like getting fresh air, getting in nature, spending time with animals that make you feel loved and cared about.

[00:14:51] Kathleen Putnam: People that you make you feel loved and cared about. things that have, A way in which you can kind of go, oh yeah, I can kind of lose track of time. this calms my nervous system. My breathing slows down. So how we know physically is our breathing slows down, our heart rate slows down, our blood pressure slows down.

[00:15:12] Kathleen Putnam: And uh, so we have physiological responses. And so what I think is important is to. Pay attention to whether it's internal, like this isn't really safe, or this doesn't feel quite right, or, as a result of taking care of this person or doing this, I had this happen, or taking that feedback from other people, and just kind of start adding them up over time.

[00:15:44] Kathleen Putnam: And what I like about. Typically in working with people is they typically know their set of issues, and what's nice is they have their set of issues and they're not my issues or your issues or amen. And so we're kind of grappling with those for the rest of our life. And so people over time start to one, they figured out ways to cope.

[00:16:08] Kathleen Putnam: So to really emphasize those strengths is super important. What worked before, so you can see yourself get through another thing, but also, how is this impacting you and how is this keeping you from, being able to sleep at night or, you know, whatever's most important to you. And that's key too.

[00:16:25] Kathleen Putnam: You know, being able to get the job you want, being able to move to the place that you want, being able to see the people you wanna see, do the things that you wanna do. Take care of your body in the way you wanna take care of your body. And those are the types of questions I love that you have. Stay curious in the background, it's like, be really curious.

[00:16:41] Kathleen Putnam: Like, I wonder, I wonder how life could be better. I wonder, I wonder what this is like. And then seek people who are, who are inspirational. So I think to get to your question, when people around you are not safe, I think. Believing that there are, there is somebody out there potentially that's safe.

[00:17:02] Kathleen Putnam: And what the research has shown is that it's one person it only takes one person, and it could be a teacher, it could be your doctor, it could be your neighbor, it could be somebody that you meet on a bus, you know? And so, I think it's that taking that deep breath and keep moving forward and keep believing in staying open and reaching out for help.

[00:17:23] Kathleen Putnam: And that is one beautiful thing of, uh, COVID right now and what we've been through, is that there's a lot more resource resources and there's a lot more public education and I know around. Mental health isolate, you know, some of these risks. And I know we could do way better and we could argue that it's way too late,

[00:17:42] Kathleen Putnam: But, I'm feeling hopeful, that it's touching more people. And again, that whole, you're not alone. You know, a lot of people, you know, everyone's been touched by this trauma.

[00:17:53] Damaged Parents: Yeah, so, it sounds like, um, to bring it back to the self and really look inside, how am I feeling when I'm around this person?

[00:18:01] Damaged Parents: Is this making sense? Do I get confused? Asking questions like that as far as safe. Now, when you were talking about getting feedback, even if you get it from a safe person, is what I, what I heard you say, it's like even if you get it from a safe person, there's going to be noise. What do you mean by noise.

[00:18:18] Kathleen Putnam: Is that, you know, you're dealing with all their stuff too. Okay? So, so it's, you know, whenever you have two people interacting, am I catching you on a good day? Am I catching you when you're grounded or are you reacting to me in your stuff? You know? And so what you wanna do is take it in and say, is this true?

[00:18:41] Kathleen Putnam: Is this really true? How much does this matter? And, um, if it weren't. Would it matter? And if it is true, would it matter? And so for the things that are really important and they hit your values and they hit what's most important to you, I think it's important to, you know, let it go through. Breathe.

[00:19:02] Kathleen Putnam: Don't react, sit with it for a while, play with it. You could solicit more. Um, and you could, you can put things on a shelf, you know, and say, I can come back to this later. and so I think. , you can also come back to that person later and say, can you tell me more about that? Again? When you're calm and you're feeling connected and you feel open and you feel like, it's a safe time.

[00:19:29] Kathleen Putnam: I think journaling can be super helpful for people. I think taking walks and sitting with the question, but I think relaxing and giving things more time and space. , and I know a lot of us feel like we don't, we can't do that because. So much need and so much demand. But I think the more that you can do that, the more what's most important and what's true will rise to the surface.

[00:19:50] Kathleen Putnam: What needs to be attended to.

[00:19:52] Damaged Parents: Yeah, I think that's true because I'll never, I, I remember not, I'll never forget, or both, I'm not sure. I hope I don't forget, but the first time that I took that, that much needed break instead of pushing through. Yeah. And then, Everything just went that it wasn't like I was fighting against what was gonna happen next and, and kind of, uh, spinning

[00:20:17] Kathleen Putnam: Yes. Yeah.

[00:20:19] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm. . So how does this help with, you know, nutrition and things like that? How does trauma impact, you know, you are the no more food trauma person, so how does that all connect,

[00:20:33] Kathleen Putnam: you know? Food is essential for life. So it's essential need, and now we're seeing it being threatened. It's always been threatened around the world.

[00:20:43] Kathleen Putnam: But it's being threatened in such, you know, it's so extensive right now with food accessibility and balance and nutrition, and so the messaging. From a very young age, and then the relationship that the family has with food and money and accessing food and security and being able to feed bodies, I would say, and the messaging from the media and even the messaging from someone like myself, a healthcare professional or a teacher around nutrition can be so impactful.

[00:21:20] Kathleen Putnam: About, our relationship with food, how we take care of ourself and, how we grow and learn, you know, and being able to be responsive to our body. And so one thing that I think that's been most impactful around trauma is that we can disconnect from our bodies and not listen to it. So then we disconnect from am I hungry?

[00:21:42] Kathleen Putnam: Am I full? How much do I need? Is this good for me, bad for me? Being forced to eat, being forced to be restricted, having food insecurity in the family, which is affecting so many people right now. and then also, really, food deserts, not having, being able to go to the grocery store, not having, refrigeration.

[00:22:07] Kathleen Putnam: , having a mom who restricts themselves, who, judges you, who judges your food body shames or a, a dad. It could be an uncle. It could be one comment in a really important time period while

[00:22:21] Damaged Parents: a body It could, yeah, it could be changing. Yeah. It could be a coach or a teacher, or, a friend at school, if, in the team years, maybe it could be.

[00:22:30] Damaged Parents: Yes. I'm just trying to think.

[00:22:32] Kathleen Putnam: Boyfriend,

[00:22:32] Damaged Parents: usually not. Well, it actually, it could probably also be a stranger who you overhear and maybe they're not talking about you, but you take it as them. They were talking about you. I'm just trying to think of all the potential possibilities. Like that's, that's a lot. That's a lot.

[00:22:45] Kathleen Putnam: It is a lot. It is a lot. And to try to get back to, I don't know how my body feel and our bodies change, right? So when you're pregnant and when you're lactating, and when you're going through adolescence and when you're going through menopause, you know what our bodies need and what works in our bodies and what makes us feel best is very, very different.

[00:23:09] Kathleen Putnam: And the, and the thing about trauma and stress with nutrition is, Rest and digest go together. And so I can't tell you how many people say I have huge digestive problems and many have huge stress problems and. Have a digestive problem as a result, and just being mindful and being able to relax your body, just like what you did when you opened the show and took a couple deep breaths and got centered, that is a great way to start a meal.

[00:23:45] Kathleen Putnam: That is a great way to start preparing a meal. . , but if we learned that we needed to clean the plate, that, uh, that this is all you get for this meal, that we don't have more, even though you're still hungry, uh, even though you're growing, that you learn to distrust yourself. And one of the things that we see is then when food becomes available, then the speed of eating and the amount of eating, like all of us, all of us have experienced it at some point a time where we've gone too long without eating or that we didn't plan well.

[00:24:22] Kathleen Putnam: And then we get around food again and we're eating faster because we're really hungry and we should eat faster when we're hungry. We all do and then we eat. because of that fear and how, and try to get out of that pain of being so hungry.

[00:24:37] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm. ,

[00:24:38] Damaged Parents: I call it inhaling.

[00:24:40] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah, ,

[00:24:41] Damaged Parents: it's, it's like I'm in, I'll inhale a book too, but you know, food is different kinds of inhaling, right?

[00:24:47] Damaged Parents: So a book I'll read really fast, but sometimes with the food, it's just all of a sudden it's gone. It's like, where did that go? Yeah. To my tummy . Yeah. I love that you said we all do that. That it, you know, because I think too, there's that. Individual idea of I'm the only one who does this. You know, you look around and no one else is maybe as hungry as you are, but all of a sudden you're at, at least for me, I'm judging myself based on everybody else and how fast I ate instead of slowing down.

[00:25:19] Damaged Parents: So, okay, so if someone has, They're in that situation where maybe they're just starting to notice they aren't really familiar with how their body feels when it comes to food and food trauma and things like that. Or maybe they've, like you said earlier, maybe they've had trauma, which turn came into food or they were traumatized with food.

[00:25:38] Damaged Parents: It sounds like it can go so many different ways. What would be the top three tips or tools that you would say, maybe think about

[00:25:46] Damaged Parents: this now.

[00:25:48] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah. So where we're starting at really matters. So some of the people that I work with have gotten down to only one safe food that they're eating. So

[00:25:57] Damaged Parents: one safe food, is that what you said?

[00:25:59] Kathleen Putnam: Mm-hmm.

[00:26:00] Damaged Parents: Okay.

[00:26:00] Kathleen Putnam: So, , if that's the case, then we'd wanna look at variety and, , some people it is just getting them to eat it all. . Okay. some people, it's skipping a lot. a large amount of meals, so it's gonna be variety and balance and really going with what's most important to you right now and what do you see yourself being able to succeed with?

[00:26:26] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm. ,

[00:26:27] Kathleen Putnam: you know, so somebody might say, I know. Fresh fruits right now taste really good. And I remember loving fresh fruits. but I'm scared to eat 'em because of whatever reason. And so starting with one that you remember and an amount and a way in which again, you can feel as safe as possible so that you can see yourself following through with it.

[00:26:49] Kathleen Putnam: And so baby steps are huge with any behavior change for success so that you don't overwhelm and you don't get this backlash that then, for all of us, if we overate any food, we're gonna have an issue. , what we wanna do, and for any of us, if we really believe that we're gonna get something really bad's gonna happen when we eat something, we're gonna solicit that reaction in our body.

[00:27:11] Kathleen Putnam: Mm-hmm. . So what we wanna do is set it up and actually visualize and really believe that this is gonna go really well and to stay curious and to stay open to experimentation. And so what you wanna do is just ask all the questions in which. Set up an environment and a space in which someone can see themselves succeed with the experiment, and then being really supportive that the outcome is not the goal.

[00:27:37] Kathleen Putnam: The process of learning and understanding is the goal, and seeing that you can try something and be okay. That's the main, main thing.

[00:27:47] Damaged Parents: I love that you called it an experiment. So it's not, oh, this is what we're going to do. Well it is, this is what we're going to do. And it's also an experiment, so if it doesn't go well, that's okay.

[00:27:59] Damaged Parents: And I can just be curious about what, what I learned throughout the process and even if I get to the end of my little food experiment. Yeah, if, if you will, and it didn't go well, then I could just make a new choice or create another experiment to try next time. And again, stay curious. And I really love how you pointed out taking those breaths before the meal because I mean, even me, when I sit down, I don't think, well, it's a meal.

[00:28:28] Damaged Parents: All I, I do it on the podcast, right. I'll introduce, I'll take those few breaths. I'll introduce us, I'll center myself before I introduce us. I don't do that when I sit down

[00:28:39] Damaged Parents: and,

[00:28:40] Damaged Parents: yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that funny? It is. I think most people don't anymore .

[00:28:47] Kathleen Putnam: No. And we've devalued and devalued the time that it takes to prepare and eat a meal.

[00:28:54] Kathleen Putnam: It, it's like I, I'm really mad that I have to take a lunch break, you know? We're prioritizing other things, but it'd be really good just to ask you, so why do you take the deep breaths before the podcast?

[00:29:05] Damaged Parents: It helps me relax and just listen better.

[00:29:10] Kathleen Putnam: so wonderful. And if you don't, then the podcast, it might not feel so great.

[00:29:15] Kathleen Putnam: You might not feel great during the podcast because you're not as centered and it's harder to stay in tune with your guest. You know? So it could be, um, an outcome that you're not really wanting, but why would you wanna do this job if you're not relaxed? So it's this idea of. You know, anything, any activity, if we could be more grounded and mindful and present, especially for the stuff that we're wanting to enjoy, um, and we're wanting to be in tune with and so that our li we're not li missing our life.

[00:29:48] Kathleen Putnam: that we're really present with our life. And so if we love this food, when we put it in our mouth, we really wanna taste our food. And we all get to have meals where we're like, I just have to have this meal so I can get to the next thing. We all have times where it's like, this is the only food available.

[00:30:04] Kathleen Putnam: Fine, I'll eat it. And then, and we'll all survive as long as it. Serious food, born ill illness stuff in it, , get to the other side, we're good to go. And so to see that, that, again, it's temporary and it's not the end all be all, but when I do have the privilege of having choice, which again, that's a big part of trauma is that we don't have choice much of the time.

[00:30:25] Kathleen Putnam: A lot of people don't have that privilege. is then, I'm gonna make this count. I'm going to take the time and take care of my body and my digestion, but you're not alone. I don't think most people do, but it's a really nice connection to make. If there are digestive or bodily issues related to food or a belief that you don't tolerate a food or a food's not good for you or that you aren't, you can't enjoy your food.

[00:30:55] Kathleen Putnam: I think it's worth the time and energy and. Yeah,

[00:30:59] Damaged Parents: what a great thing to leave the listeners with to take those few breaths and center themselves, I mean, and all of the other tools. But I'm really closing out with this deep feeling of I'm gonna be taking deep breaths before I eat my next meal, and hopefully my next one make it a new habit.

[00:31:16] Damaged Parents: This is gonna be a fun experiment, .

[00:31:19] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah, and a lot of people like doing that with gratitude. You know, that was that whole. Saying, you know, having a little grace or appreciating the people who prepare the food or whatever, that that is really helpful for stress and trauma too, is to ha bring up a sense of gratitude.

[00:31:34] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah.

[00:31:35] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Well, awesome. Thank you Kathleen Putnam for coming on this show. You can find her at https://nomorefoodtrauma.com, as you could tell. Super easy to talk to, very open and just a lot of fun. So thanks again for coming on the show.

[00:31:51] Kathleen Putnam: Yeah. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

[00:31:53] Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoyed talking to Kathleen about how she pointed out support systems can be difficult to access. We especially liked when she reminded us that there are others experiencing similar struggles. We are not alone to unite with other damaged people connect with us on Instagram. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then