S2E56: A Moment of Suffering, An Opportunity to Grow

Jan-Caspar Look, originally from Germany. He is an Architect and Designer by profession – athlete, explorer and writer by heart. All of his activities come down to one common theme: boundless curiosity for life, and all it has to offer. He is probably most known for my recent running exploits, such as having run from Vancouver to Colombia (about 11,000km) and 5,250km across Europe. His book with the same title ‘Across Europe’ is going to be released soon in German. After three years of pushing his physical boundaries to the limit, he is again working in the field of architecture, leading the design of mainly residential projects.

Social media and contact information: jclloo21 (Instagram)

Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where running inspired meditative people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.

Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we're meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero was the damaged person, the one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole.

Those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me. To be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them. Let's hear from another hero. Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice.

The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Today, we're going to talk with Jan- Casper Look. He has many roles in his life. Brother son. World traveling athlete and more. We'll talk about how we actually met when he was running from Vancouver to Columbia. The struggle of doing just that and how he had ulcerative colitis and how he's finding health and healing let's talk

Welcome back to Relatively Damaged. This is Angela. And today we have Jan -Casper look with us originally from Germany. He's an architect and designer by profession, an athlete, Explorer, and writer by heart. All of his activities come down to one common thing, boundless curiosity for life, and all it has to offer.

He is probably most known for his recent running exploits, such as having run from Vancouver. To Columbia, which is about 11,000 kilometers and 5,250 kilometers across Europe, he has published a book titled Across Europe, which is going to be released soon in Germany. After three years of pushing his physical limits.

He is now back in the field of architecture, leading the design of mainly residential projects. Jan, Casper, thank you so much for coming to the show. I'm so glad to have you here.

[00:03:00] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah. And the pleasure is, with me and, thanks for the introduction. It's everything correct? You said, and we are

[00:03:09] Damaged Parents: yeah, we're here.

We're here now what the listeners don't know yet that we met. Gosh, when you were running from Vancouver to Columbia,

[00:03:20] Jan-Caspar Look: in a sense. Yeah. Although at that point, I wasn't quite sure how far I would come and, where this journey would take me, but it was in Northern California, I believe.

[00:03:30] Damaged Parents: I think it was Monterey mm-hmm and there was a lighthouse.

I think and you were gonna stay there.

[00:03:36] Jan-Caspar Look: Exactly was sometime early in the afternoon. I had finished my day already, which was a fairly short one about a marathon, I believe that day.

[00:03:46] Damaged Parents: Oh my God. A marathon is short oh yes. For you. .

[00:03:49] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah. And I was looking forward to, simply enjoy myself for the rest of the day, the Supreme scenery there.

And, there's a little hostel in, in those facilities, even including a little jacuzzi exposed, to the. to the ocean and that was just, stunningly. Beautiful.

[00:04:08] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And I remember being shocked to see this guy with you were pulling your little trailer that had everything that you needed.

You pulled out. I think something like a, tablet or, I mean, you were clearly writing. And I had my kids with me and my caregiver with me and I just remember thinking, wow, this guy's doing something important and I'm not sure everyone would think of it that way. Maybe they would look at it as, oh, he's just running, you know?

But you were on a, a, journey kind of a chosen. A chosen adventure with its own struggles in it. from my perspective,

[00:04:56] Jan-Caspar Look: certainly, yeah, back to that situation, actually it wasn't even the tablet. It was simply my phone. Which I had, upgraded with a little bit of a keyboard so that the entire display would be available actually as a screen, not eat up half of it, for the keyboard itself.

So anyhow, that was my, desktop set up in terms of doing my writing in back then, I was writing a blog actually, which, yeah. Was a task in itself and it required a lot of time, which I appreciated in terms of processing everything that I've went through. And, it became, yeah, kind of a documentation, afterwards looking back on that journey and all my experiences, but overall it was another huge commitment on top of trying to, yeah.

Run an ultra distance pretty much every day. Right. Which, was the, the first, layer of this adventure that I've chosen to,travel by foot and may. As far as the body involves. And, that was my chosen means of motion to experience this extraordinary journey and, yeah, to explore the world in a sense.

And, uh, part of that was literally leaving everything behind that. I built up over five years in Vancouver and, including. it's pretty much selling everything. So we were referring to my trailer. That was everything I brought along that was literally my life. that simmered down or reduced to, a certain amount of, things that I literally use every single day.

And otherwise I, if I wouldn't use it, it would, not make the cut right. Or I would, leave it behind because I everything adds up in weight. So it's a very authentic, very ultimate experience in terms. Is an item of fuse and, otherwise, uh, I wouldn't, hold onto it, right? Yeah. Another do, this kind of experience and, traveling just, just on third by myself.

Yeah.

[00:06:56] Damaged Parents: Now when I think of trailer, like if I had not seen it, I think what I would be thinking is someone was following you with a, large trailer and that wasn't the case. I mean, this trailer. Maybe three or four cubic feet, or I'm not sure how to translate the dimensions, but so if you could explain how really small, I mean, you had to, you had like a belt, you wrapped around your waist, I think.

Right. And then it, you literally, it was a tr your personal trailer.

[00:07:27] Jan-Caspar Look: yeah, exactly. It is actually, kind of a baby jogger except that this principle of this product is. As be turned around so that you pull the trailer rather than pushing it. And, the big advantage of this kind of, design is that your upper body is free.

So your certain types of running is maintained rather than hunching over. And, yeah. Pushing something with your upper, body with your arms and shoulders. Right. Mm-hmm so take advantage and overall. I'm running with a customized, highly customized version. So every baby, yeah, everything, all, all the details that are related to the, baby application.

I, I basically got rid of, I'm just using the, yeah, the bare bones of this, vehicle and, added in Orley waterproof, der bag, which is, might be something like 50 lit. and, that's the main compartment where fairly acknow the year that I need.

[00:08:25] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Yeah. It was not, it was not a lot, I would say, you know, it's even in my world.

Oh, so go ahead. I was gonna say, well, hold on, let me say, let me say this in my world. You know, I have to look around as I just look around in my world. I think I really am in abundance. And even then, With what you had, did you feel like you had abundance in those moments? Like you were just, it seemed like almost bare minimums that most people would be like, I couldn't live on that.

And here you were living.

[00:08:55] Jan-Caspar Look: It's interesting because it's sort of, yeah, it's an entirely shifted. 180 degrees shifted our perspective because abundance is more like being available for what is in that moment. And if you see it that way, actually everything that you carry that is unnecessary makes you unavailable or appears like a distraction, cuz you're carrying something of weight that is not of any used.

And that's something we don't get to experience in our everyday life because things are stored. We have facilities and, yeah. Or our living arrangements are set up in a way that, that we store the ton of stuff. Right. But we are not using it. Don't even see it. And, this is entirely different because stuff every single hour almost, or at least every single day in a different place or that I carry on that I own and have is on that little vehicle.

Right. And, with it's a particular purpose. And that's for example, like either my camping arrangement it's,serving needs, like shelter, comfort, needs, three different pairs of jackets to keep me warm. Right. some spare clothes and, anything else is regarding cooking or eating? I would say, right?

[00:10:15] Damaged Parents: Yeah. So I've gotta ask. I mean, one thing that keeps coming to my mind is, you know, Those material things with those material things you noticed? Oh, I need to carry all this and if I, if I carry too much, then I'm not open to what is, could you also apply that from like an emotional perspective too, of.

or was that part of the journey when that you would notice you were carrying these things and were you able to, and if that was, were you able to let them, let them go to be open to what was in that moment? I hope that makes sense.

[00:10:51] Jan-Caspar Look: It, it entirely makes sense. And that particular experience I had on my very first meters of kilometers heading out of Vancouver.

So I was desperately overload because I was lacking the experience and I didn't know what to expect. And most of my decisions in terms of what I would bring were based on concerns, right? Concerns we code and, needing a second sleeping bag, which keeps me colder, warmer. And, I had to let go of that one and make a decision.

So it's just the three season sleeping back and, I gotta make it work. And, otherwise I put in another pan or, steep in my down jacket. That's where I ended up. that's a great example where I was, basically enforced to make decisions right away because, the, the performance of the trailer literally did not work.

It would shake, it was uncontrollable. It was unable. so that was first, major thing that happened to me. And then it was a continuous process throughout the first weeks. Realizing what I really needed and what I could let, go

[00:11:53] Damaged Parents: mm-hmm

[00:11:54] Jan-Caspar Look: and in some regards I had to make compromises and other, I, I wouldn't.

And, some items I carry there are actually quite heavy and one of them is to, in terms of hygiene or being able to shave myself. So I have a razor, that is super heavy and anything but lightweight, right? but, it just makes my life much more comfortable and I use it three times a week. So I really I'd rather have a sturdy tool, which is little heavier in reward, than, compromising on that important, just as another example.

And, so yeah, continuous process and. I had other situations where it was, intrigued by the idea to simply go with a backpack for certain sections of because I was thinking, okay, that gives me more freedom. And the ability to secure on trades, which is right at first place. But quickly I realized doing a run or a journey of this extent and need to carry the essentials that made me able to survive independent and being independent.

So self-sufficient right. So in, reverse or as in, conclusion, I realize I feel actually much more agile and, comfortable pulling the trailer, which is trying 25 kilograms, fully loaded, including, water and food supplies for a couple of days, let's say, you are much more comfortable, Pulling that and knowing I have everything I need in any given situation, rather than reducing myself to a little backpack and, homeless every two hours having to look out for, supplies and, yeah, it makes an entirely different setup.

So that just works, with a, support team and like many other students. Go across America, for example, right. They typically end up with a team then that follows them and then they don't have to, think about logistics and all these things. But in my case, that was part of why you taught my motivation to literally expose myself, to the world, with the needs that are given to me without a support team, without a social sort of bubble that I carry with me.

No, I wanted to, have those authentic experiences as we are, as I go. And, that's the reason why I met you for example. And I had a conversation with you. Imagine I would've had a team, I would've sat with them and had a conversation, right. And we probably wouldn't have been as open to, to, talk to locals, which might happen this while, but it is an entirely different dynamic

so, and that's basically the dynamic of being public travel. I just need to, be as adventurous as I do it. Right. Even in other travelers, where I was just by myself, I, I early got to experience and appreciate being by myself because it makes you more agile in terms of, you know, making connections to local people, either travelers the along way..

[00:14:59] Damaged Parents: and almost like you're saying your connecting connection to, what is , that being in those moments of. You know, you said you had everything you need, but then there were things I'm sure along the way that didn't fit in the your trailer would those needs somehow magically?

I, I I'm gonna say magically. I don't think that's the right word, but something would happen. And, and then the need was met.

[00:15:27] Jan-Caspar Look: those moments occur as well. Yeah. For example, if I, went through, really extreme landscapes or weather wise extremes, then, for one reason or another humans tend to stick together, for example, going through Baja California and seeing guy running through the desert, people are freaking out and thinking, what is this guy doing?

What is he, getting himself into? So cars stop, make sure that I got enough water and all of a sudden I have like a bag of, grapes, for example, in the middle of the desert. So those moments happen, but you can't, expect them to happen. So, yeah, by experience and the longer you do it, you develop this trust that these things happen.

But like I said, they happen randomly, right? So, even if you are going through a rough patch, usually be that's when you realize, okay. No, I want these moments, to occur, but, you gotta stay patient and, it's not on you to decide when, it's going to happen.

[00:16:28] Damaged Parents: Well, and I'm thinking too, the gratitude increased as well.

Like when it did happen that the gratitude was magnified more than it would've been, had it consistently showed up.

[00:16:42] Jan-Caspar Look: Oh, yeah, for sure. And, yeah, I agree.

[00:16:46] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Now you also have ulcerative colitis. So you've been on this journey knowing you had a struggle already .

How did you even come to the conclusion? Okay, I'm gonna take this adventure. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this. And then how did you. yeah. Knowing with that, you had that struggle.

[00:17:09] Jan-Caspar Look: So that struggle, oh, it's right of colitis is a big topic. And, to, to explain that we have to go a little farther back, and that was part of my motivation where, why I left my home country.

And, many things played a role in that regard that my body developed this foundation. that are referring back to how I lived. yeah. Back then in Germany. And, so anyhow, without being able to really identify what I needed to change, I just knew right away when I was super acute and almost life threatening back then, which is almost like nine years now, that I had to, turn my life.

Around like 180 degrees and what better way to do so than leaving everything behind and, finding a place. And that was sort of my image. I needed to find a place that makes it easier for me to make the right life decisions. And, yeah, basically going into a process of reevaluating my life and particularly my attitude due to things that were dear to me, for example, sports.

Back then I was, training for Herman, triathllon with the dream of participating in a Hawaii eventually, which I was able to accomplish. But ironically, just afterwards I developed these symptoms and my, body, was pretty much, yeah. At rock bottom and telling me, it's fine, what you have done so far, but no step farther otherwise you screw, you run yourself into the ground entirely.

So anyhow, that was, sort of the situation back then that made me, go abroad and, find a better place to live in Vancouver and I started sort of all over here. Find, found a job, as an architect, which was, one of the puzzle pieces as well as I experienced a lot of stress and, Lack of appreciation in my profession back then in Germany.

So that all changed here in Vancouver. I found an employer that appreciated actually my work and, general work conditions were much better. So anyhow, that, that was one part. And then after once I, once I had settled here and pretty much assembled all the pieces back together, I, during that time, I did a lot of traveling as well, exploring the world and, yeah, really.

Getting inspired by other cultures and how people, in other, societies, live and communicate with each other. And one of the travelers brought me to Nepal and, when I came back from that trip, meditation occurred to me and I started to doing my own meditation routine in the morning and I started this journey and.

That was the last missing link to sort of really connect to myself in the most authentic way and to, to, bring all the topics that were floating around, yeah. First to surface and then also to them trans structure. Yeah. That set me up to an entirely different vantage point of my own life.

And, therefore. Everything that I was surrounded with at the same time. Right. therefore I think in, in the years to come, I was able to make better decisions for myself. And, so back to my attitude, to sports, I stopped doing, competitions because I knew that. not leading anywhere.

And at the same time I had experienced anything in that kind of work that I wanted anyways. So I basically combined, yeah, my athletic aspiration with, the yearning to, to see the world and to travel. First of all, it was more like bicycle trips that took me to the us as well. For example, going in a week from over to San Francisco, it was.

Very ambitious and, anything, but, just the conventional travel. But, my, my attitude changed my time. Cause it was more about the experience, more being out there and also all the, components of organizing one set, right? The logistics and things like that. Anytime during that time, I developed this crazy idea to run around the world.

And just vaguely. and, that narrowed down to, okay. I will attempt to run from Vancouver to Patagonia and, it took me another two weeks to entirely,penetrate that dream in a sense of that. I eventually I realized, okay, now it's time to go. I, you gotta all the pieces together and, I have to give it a shot.

Otherwise it won't find out this is, Yeah. Doable or no, as it's, exceeding anything, I've done before, it's going to be an adventure. It's, a journey to myself, a pilgrimage, of sorts. And, I, I have to give it a shot and that's, how I started.

[00:22:00] Damaged Parents: Yeah. It sounds like in some ways, when with the competitions and stuff, it, became somehow.

Super stressful. and really, I think what I'm hearing from you is that isn't even where the growth happens, the growth happens with not by competing with yourself, but by the growth and strength that you find in yourself on the journey, which it sounds like you've learned by putting aside the competition and then just being with yourself.

Am I picking up on that? Right.

[00:22:31] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah. I mean, there are many things in, in play here. so one is in terms of competition or my part of my motivation to do sports was basically on a subconscious level to create acknowledgement. Right. Which I basically never got for that. Yeah. A superficial acknowledgement on social media.

Likes when you finish another Ironman. Right. So, yeah, but what does it really mean? Or what does it come down to? it was still me and the sport in a sense. And, therefore it was much more than the competition was the everyday life, the commitment to training and getting up early in the morning and putting off 20 hours plus top of a and, full work week.

So in that respect or in that kind of environment, I, learned a lot that actually provided me with a skill set that was, necessary to, build over years, to even think about something like this kind of journey running journey that I eventually embarked on, but the attitude in terms of chasing numbers and trying to get faster.

In inevitably needs to, focus on in order to get a, qualifying spot for Hawaiian. Right. Which is highly competitive. that's where things sort of got mixed up because. My motivation in first place to do Ironman races is to do this incredible long distance and to finish the finish the thought of finishing, right?

That's what, what, Ironman or doing Ironman for, for the average person comes down to. And I think that's the beauty in it, but it quickly gets lost as you have more ambition than just finishing an iron so long story. this kind of journey allowed me to, to really look deep into myself and revise this kind of attitude in terms of trying to prove myself and to, yeah.

Be number drawn in a sense of going fast because, it's. leading me nowhere except a place of injury, which I experienced several times. So it was a very daunting and very painful experience, but I had to go through that to, to meet myself and, to eventually overcome that. stubbornness of, having the tendency to go, with your head through the.

Right. and, if you realize that out there, just being by yourself, nobody to discuss these things with, then you realize it's literally just up on you to change that right. Telling you. And, I think that's the reason why I picked such an incredible, huge goal, which is so far away, that I . I had plenty of time to do those mistakes and know, yeah.

I have to make the right decision here and now, in order to get one point reach my overarching over. Right. Literally about the process. Yeah.

[00:25:30] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And it was like the path to peace, but I love... you said something to the effect of, I had to go through that. To find myself, you know, it's like you had to experience the struggle of what happened in the I with the Ironman stuff in order to, to come on this other journey that where you could find that piece, because if you never got there, I mean, you wouldn't have had to go on another journey, right?

[00:25:56] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah. I mean, that's the other thing, that you said, to reach one goal, you reach that and then you realize, okay, what's. So it's, whatever goal you said it would be never a destination, never a point of resting. It will be on just your temporary motivation. or in that period of time leading up to that goal.

So, and that becomes so much more tangible if you embark on a journey like I did, because Patagonia is so far away, I will be busy for years to reach that. So you rather, concentrate or get yourself in the moment and embark every single day. Otherwise you will be just miserable

[00:26:38] Damaged Parents: right. Yeah. But, but that's also like a hard concept, I think personally, to understand that yes, there is that goal and it's a journey, right?

Like the, exactly what you're saying. Sure. That goal is there, but it's, not the end point you don't get there and it stops all. There's another one. And so it's just a, inspiration, I think. To get to that point, right?

[00:27:04] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah. Aspiration, I think. Yeah. It's a better word to, frame that. And I mean, you have to go through the process to define your goal in first place.

It's basically the big picture, the overarching idea. But once you are committed to that and you feel like this is really the thing you want to do, then you have to put it away and basically forget it and just let that yeah. Like an, inspiration sink into your system. You know that, but you don't have to articulate it all the time.

It's then that you just do the work just in that very next step. Right. And, another thought on that or another way to, to frame or word it is, everything I do today gets me prepared for the next day or what comes next. Mm-hmm . So in that way, every single day makes sense or builds up to another. unexpected situation that I don't even, know yet at this point.

[00:28:02] Damaged Parents: yeah. To so that you know, that it's building up, it's almost like at some point in your world in your mind, maybe I'm not sure how to explain this, but that the world became safe and supportive.

[00:28:16] Jan-Caspar Look: that's another, yeah. Extent to this kind of experience. Exactly.

That's not all about, the mental game and to get myself, keep myself together emotionally and mentally, physically obviously is one , but, that there is another extent to exactly of the world, the energies, the people, everything that I encountered along the way that is, tremendously powerful and.

that I can access or benefit from along the way. Yeah.

[00:28:47] Damaged Parents: Mm.

[00:28:47] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah, that's correct. And that's something I, that was very eyeopening to me as in the past. I, it tended to, be more like set focused and, yeah, tr trying to, not allow much, external factors, get. But through this journey, I really, learned to embrace those opportunities that present themselves along the way that came as little as this small conversation, just, to where we get the opportunity to connect to localness and through the conversation.

yeah. I have an exchange of not just thoughts, literally like energy and it, Improves your, your mood and, you feel connected and, so tremendous, although you're just a visitor and, and a couple of minutes, you will be gone, but.

[00:29:36] Damaged Parents: Well, and you know, the funny thing is when we met, I was visiting Monterey.

I was also a visitor and it also took courage to say hello. And so while on this journey, like there was, what is fascinating to me is that, that you were on this journey. And then in some ways I was. You know, taking a step out outside of my comfort zone to even say hello, and then, you know, now I've followed your story.

And I, I feel like we've connected. You went through another injury later on and, and I was able to 100% relate to the struggle that you were dealing with at that moment in time. And, and then I got to feel supportive, which was really cool, you know? So that connection. Was more than just a hello and a following .

to me it became, a way for, for us to validate each other. And I think that a lot of times at least at that point in time, when I met you, I, I was, nervous and afraid to reach out and to say, hello. I didn't think that I would get to, you know, to me, you were like this amazing guy taking a jour, like to me, I was like, wow, that takes some courage.

[00:30:51] Damaged Parents: He's on this journey. He's running from Vancouver to Patagonia and I'm just, I just wanted to, to watch and support. And I thought, anyway, I just, I think it was like, your courage inspired me. in other steps in my life. So, because you were willing to do that, I also have taken and found courage in myself in other places that maybe I wouldn't have found had I not met you or some other people, right?

Like it's not just you it's that we, without that reaching out and without taking that risk, how do we live?

[00:31:31] Jan-Caspar Look: Yeah, it requires courage, but in my personal experience, it gradually becomes more natural and those blinds disappear eventually. And, there are less, or one restricts oneself, much less in terms of simply having a conversation or reaching out to a person rather than going through the, yeah, sort of.

Mind conversation with yourself, is it worth it? Or what do we have to expect? Right. You know, our Western thinking, we are so caught up in, in thought process beforehand rather than just trusting ourselves and having a, a natural access into terms of, yeah. Speaking to other people. And in that regard, other countries.

so-called another vet of countries. Don't have these filters, people are available right away. They appreciate you, visiting their country. And, they're just so much more authentic in that regard. And that makes for a real and human connection. Right. And unfortunately you have lost now. To some degree.

[00:32:39] Jan-Caspar Look: And, that's where we have to remind ourselves constantly, what is this about? Why don't I just speak up? Right. So what's the point and every single situation that we do so that we find the strength, the energy, the encouragement to, talk, to someone like you, did you get rewarded right? With, one experience or another?

It doesn't necessarily need to be always such a surprise. Like in our case, but, in any event to almost a hundred percent, it's always a, invigorating encounter.

[00:33:13] Damaged Parents: Right? Yeah. And trusting that, right. Like trusting that, that. Little feeling that says, go say hello. Even if you don't understand why, which I didn't understand why.

And that's why it probably took courage. cause I was fighting like, oh, you know, people don't wanna say hello. or I had all these stories in my mind and then I think it's three or four years later when I started the podcast. and here we are and I'm getting to interview you, someone who I followed, and that was in one of those moments where I think I was listening to that intuition.

which is hard. I think I agree with what you're saying. That's we don't do it out here because everything's supposed to be X, Y, Z. done. .

[00:33:56] Jan-Caspar Look: It has to be explained or expressed in, in numbers or, yeah, validated in one way or another, but we are so much more and, yeah, gut feeling and intuition are, one of those, senses that.

Or allowing us to make those connections or overcome our thought processes. The better we get at it. And, like you said, the more we trust exactly. But we have to experience it. Otherwise it it's just an exercise.

[00:34:31] Damaged Parents: right. We have to experience it like logically knowing it is, is one thing experiencing and doing is, another thing.

with emotions, with struggle, with trusting that the world is safe and, secure is a whole nother thing. So if someone is, let's say they're at the. Probably I'm thinking, you know, I came to this conclusion the other day, you're gonna, you might laugh that, you know, in the middle of the struggle, I might not listen to this podcast or, or at least not at the beginning, but as I'm starting to see the light, I might listen.

[00:35:04] Damaged Parents: So I could find strength and support, or hope. Right. So if someone is in that middle, maybe they're at that. Maybe it began, but they're starting to think, okay, maybe I can address this. I can look at this. What would be three tools or tips that you would say, try this now, or think about this

[00:35:23] Jan-Caspar Look: for someone who struggles?

[00:35:25] Damaged Parents: Well, we all struggle, but they're, let's Say it's someone who's at the middle or towards the end, you know, where they can hear the message and you know, cuz at the beginning of a struggle, you probably remember, it feels like somebody's trying to sell you rainbows and butterflies. when it comes to hope sometimes at least that's my I'm I'm starting to think that's how it is at the beginning of the struggle when it's like, no, this is absolutely miserable.

I, I don't want that.

[00:35:50] Jan-Caspar Look: Oh yeah, sure. That's our first response which is just natural. So coming from a Buddhist perspective, in terms of meditation, it's always about observing, staying calm and, going through the, process of accepting first allowing time and simply observing and then by, yeah, with a little bit of time and, realizing one's own new reality, then you, open up.

Maybe even seeing something positive in that situation, that, and be because every struggle, every negative encounter in the end will teach you something, positive or make you stronger in some regard. And, that's something you have to figure out or see in that situation. And typically, or in my experience, that's nothing where.

Point or consult someone and the person will tell you, no, it's, it's a very individual thing where you have to listen deeply and make the connections to, yourself. But, that's a painful process. And that requires a lot of courage to, to face that situation and our mentality in general. And how we set about society also, particularly in terms of ailments, or illnesses.

That we fight symptoms, right. To, get to a place of comfort right away, which is not always,a bad thing. Don't get me wrong. And depending on what we suffer from, it's, it's good to have conventional medicine, but, after all there there's more to it. And, the question is how do you set yourself up for a long term?

occurring, right? to really heal from whatever it is. And, that typically is not about just treating symptoms. It's going down to the root cause. Right. And in my particular case with the ulcerative colitis, it was, redefining my attitude to sports, finding a way to live more respectfully with myself to, reduce stress.

[00:37:53] Jan-Caspar Look: and, that was a year long process where I gradually improved my conditions. Right. And I won't even go into the details that, that entire in terms of digestive issues and, all kinds of really, miserable, side effects. . Quite quickly. I acknowledge there is meaning in this and, there's something I will take out of this.

And, even my life, I, I trust that my life will even improve. Although I can't see it at this point. And I feel like I'm making a lot of sacrifices and I'm suffering from it, like, in, yeah, on the first, glimpse. But, I trust this process of refinement, that brings, or will lead me to a better place to, to live the long run.

And that's why I did. although I'm still striving from it, I will be never safe. Right. it's a chronic illness. And unfortunately, since I suffered from COVID two, four weeks ago, it set off my immune system, therefore the right flared up and. I , I actually thought I had overcome it because I'm so stable in between that I almost literally don't have any symptoms at all, but, I will never be safe and still sort of fragile in that regard, but that's not the, the story I'm telling me.

And, then the world, so you, barely hear me talking about ulcerative colitis, unless, someone's particularly interested in because I'm not defining myself. Right. Because then I would then have never set up to do such a crazy journey. Right. And, yeah, or the other so called accomplished that accomplishment that I might have achieved, throughout the past years.

Right. So, it's just my personal quiet reminder to still make the right decisions and, to do everything in alignment with my body and mind's needs, I would say. So,

[00:39:52] Damaged Parents: and it really sounds like there came a point where you almost had to make a decision. Am I going to identify with the ulcerative colitis or am I gonna, I identify with life and yeah.

Yeah. And that I think is probably a decision. A lot of us have to come to what, do we want? So I just wanna thank you so much, Jan-Casper, Look for coming on the show. He's on Instagram @JCLLOO21. And it's just been such an honor. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

[00:40:27] Jan-Caspar Look: Mutually. Thank you very much, Angela.

I appreciate your time. And I finally, you made it happen. I think fine. Yes. A couple of times, but, yeah, here we are. And, it was great pleasure to talking to you and, yeah. Thank you to you as well. Thank you.

[00:40:44] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoyed talking to Jan Casper about how he decided to run. We especially liked when he spoke about making good choices for his soul and recognizing the abundance in every moment. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Instagram. Look for damaged parents will be here next week still relatively damaged see you then