S2E41: Uncomfortable Peace

Vernon is a loving Husband, Father, Son, Brother and Friend. He and his Wife currently own a baby brand, Prince and Duchess Collection, founded in honor of their son. They also run a publishing company, Davis Family Publishing, and will be releasing their first publication Q1 of 2022. Their first book will feature Vernon’s 15-month journey of healing as He reversed type 2 diabetes at home during the covid-19 pandemic, naturally, using no diabetes medication and lost 50lbs in 5 months.

Social media and contact information:

Facebook/Instagram: @DFPublishing (Davis Family Publishing)

My other social media handle is: @vernonpdavisjr for Facebook and Instagram.

My website is www.dfpublishing.org. I sell autographed copies of my book on our website.

My book is also available on Amazon at the following link: Uncomfortable Peace: Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone to Naturally Beat Type 2 Diabetes https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578339641/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_806ZQG7AAHM6YTXDCYST

Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where food addicted, super sweet, inspiring people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.

Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience?

My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole. Those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspired me. To be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them, let's hear from another hero.

Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here are strictly those. So it's the person who gave them.

Today, we're going to talk with Vernon Davis. He has many roles in his life, twin to a sister, husband, father, son, and more. We'll talk about how eating had become his source of happiness which ultimately gave him diabetes and how he found health and healing let's talk

Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today, we have Vernon Davis with us. He is a loving father, son, husband, brother, friend. I did not say that in the order he wrote it. So please don't take offense. If I got you in the order wrong. He and his wife currently own a baby brand Prince and Duchess Collection found in honor of their son.

They also run a publishing company. Davis family publishing and we'll be releasing their first publication quarter, one of 2022. That's this quarter, their first book will feature Vernon's 15 month journey of healing and how he reversed type two diabetes at home during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Naturally you see no medication and he lost 50 pounds in like five months.

[00:02:45] Vernon Davis: Still unbelievable.

[00:02:46] Damaged Parents: So when did you find out you had diabetes? Was it during the pandemic or just before?

[00:02:53] Vernon Davis: it was during a pandemic. It was a July 24th, 2020.

[00:02:58] Damaged Parents: Okay. so you're already at home when you find out.

[00:03:01] Vernon Davis: Yeah, it was, it was so sad. so leading up to my diagnosis, my probably I've been working from home for about five months or so, maybe six. I like in January, in the January, beginning of February. My employer allowed us to begin working from home and. I just had all day access to the pantry, to the refrigerator, all the snacks that I would purchase, all my grocery trips on the weekend.

I didn't have to wait until I got home anymore. I didn't have to sneak in a few bites before leaving for work. I had access to them all day and. Yeah, with the access, you know, there was no limits for me. whereas when I was going into the office, you know, I had a lunch pail and, I only fits so much.

but now, you know, no last panel needed, just take a few seconds step away from my, my workstation nibble on whatever I wanted and go back to doing, work. and that was a continuous cycle every 10, 15 minutes or so I snacked all day on the food pantry and,

um,

[00:03:54] Damaged Parents: I was going to ask, was a lot of that weight after you started working at home That started the diabetes or had a lot of it been there already.

[00:04:02] Vernon Davis: Well, I was already heavy. I was already.

heavy, So I was just adding to whatever I weighed at that time. I have no recollection of a, what I weighed in at the beginning of the 2020. I remember it's 2018, the end of 2018 going into 2019. I was a little bit over 300 pounds. And I got laid off from a former employer, due to a company downsizing.

yeah, I tried to take some time to just kind of collect myself before going back on the job hunt and doing that, I was trying to go to the gym and, be consistent with that. It wasn't as consistent as I want it to be. Then I started working, and my wedding was right around the same time I began my new job.

And so, you know, I had that motivation to, you know, try to get healthier, uh, which I really didn't work out that well. I know I lost a few pounds, , but on the day I was diagnosed in July. I was,, 274 pounds.

[00:04:59] Damaged Parents: So you lost some weight because of, for the wedding, but it wasn't the trigger to. Gosh, how do I want to ask this question? It's almost like I'm wondering if that was an external reason to, to lose the weight, right? It was about, it was for someone else or for the people to see, whereas I'm thinking maybe it was different after the diagnosis. There was a different motivation.

Yeah,

you're smiling. And you're like, yeah, there was

[00:05:29] Vernon Davis: Exactly.

[00:05:30] Damaged Parents: I mean, tell us about when you found out that you had diabetes, like, what was that like? Cause I'm thinking that was a pivotal moment to transition into that internal reason

[00:05:40] Vernon Davis: Yeah. It was. You know, before I could even go into that day, leading up to it. I was already experiencing symptoms, but I had no reason for them to do blurred vision, excessive urination. I mean, my wife and I went on a road trip, to a friend's wedding in Michigan. And on that road trip, I will pull over

on the side of the interstate to urinate roughly every hour, because I felt like I couldn't make it to the next exit to use the restroom at a hotel at a gas station and a restaurant at a convenience store. I felt in my bladder was gonna burst. And I didn't feel that way at home, or at least I didn't recognize it because I had the toilet, you know, a few steps away.

But fast forwarding to the day of my diagnosis, which my wife actually, forced me to go to the doctor. I had no desire to go see a medical professional, even with all the things that I was still in, the fears that I had from my own body, because things were happening that I've never experienced before.

but she really forced me to go and I am so grateful for that. but yeah, once the doctor shared with me that, the reasoning for all of my symptoms, coupled with, my high blood glucose levels and A1C level was all because of type two diabetes. I was speechless. And I asked the, gentlemen to please repeat himself because no way Could I have the sugars, what I grew up knowing it to be, that's for old people.

What I grew up knowing it to be, it was for the elderly and that wasn't me. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed a year and a half ago. And, uh, you know, I was frustrated. , I was sad. I was fearful for my existence. I mean, at that time, my wife and I didn't have any children at that time.

We weren't pregnant. And, I was like, man, I'm not going to be able to have a child. I'm not gonna be able to be around my wife, you know, for the, you know, the years to come and grow old together and swinging on a porch that we build, in the late stages of our life, you know, I just kept thinking about those, those things and, have those emotions.

And, and once I realized. Because of my own doing, I became very distraught, you know, and very, you know, very much frustrated in myself.

[00:07:42] Damaged Parents: What do you mean by distraught? like was it almost depressing?

[00:07:46] Vernon Davis: Oh, very much so. I've never been diagnosed with depression. But I have, felt depressed before my life and. The feelings that I felt on that day was a different level of depressing because I felt like I wasn't going to be here the next day. That's how I felt and I was fearful of that.

I was fearful to, you know, to been doing things like, ah, you know, I've put myself in this position, I've backed myself up into a, corner that I don't think I can get out of you know, I don't know how to get out of it. How do you come back from this knowing that people lose limbs when they have this disease that people lose their eyesight.

When they have this chronic illness, you know, that's all I could think about was man, what's going to happen to me. And when, how soon are these things going to happen? To me, it's going to affect my quality of life for sure. But it has also going to impact those that are around me that love and care for me, you know, this is going to be sad for them as well, because it saves us though

I'm going to be exiting a lot sooner than any of us would have desired

[00:08:45] Damaged Parents: So it's almost like in that moment, there was a death of this old cell, or you processed like your own past self. Like there's this assumption I've been diagnosed with type two diabetes and that's like a death sentence.

[00:09:02] Vernon Davis: basically.

[00:09:03] Damaged Parents: in your mind, that's what it felt like.

[00:09:05] Vernon Davis: Yeah.

[00:09:06] Damaged Parents: And, and what happened next?

Like was it just this I'm powerless? Was it? I have our, was it, what happened?

[00:09:14] Vernon Davis: That was some motivation, that I got before I walked out. So by nature I'm I'm just rebellious. If you tell me not to do something or that I can't do something, I'm going to find a way to do it. Just because someone said I couldn't. And so, before I left the clinic, the doctor gave me a prescription for a particular medication and he said, Yeah, you'll be fine.

You'll be able to manage it as long as you take this medication. And, you know, I looked at it and I've heard of this medication before. And, you know, I started doing some, some research instantly on my mobile device about the side effects and the side effects looked a little bit more scarier than the symptoms, because of how it affected some other organs in my body.

And I was like, ah, you know, I'm telling myself like, no, I don't want to take other medications. I walked out the door. I find it that my tears fall, cause I didn't want to cry in front of anyone in there. And, I sat down in my vehicle. I call my parents, call my wife, let them know, the information that was shared with me.

And I immediately called to people that I knew could help me to the best of their abilities. Two friends of mine. Later became business partners. One is a gentleman by the name of Tony, a personal trainer, and another gentleman by the name of Brianne. He's an herbalist. And I share with them like, Hey, this is the diagnosis that I've received.

You know, my intention is to be able to get rid of this as naturally as possible. I don't want to use medication. I don't want to use anything synthetic. you know, I want to do it all, natural. And, uh, you know, we, had conversations, I gave him some homework and we were able to put a plan together, put a regimen together that worked for me.

And I'm very, very grateful, for, you know, even that conversations have happened. Those two conversations have happened, you know, so soon after walking out of the, uh, doctor's office, out of the clinic,

[00:11:00] Damaged Parents: Now, knowing that you wanted to do that naturally, what was the support like coming from the family? Was there some fear like, oh no, you need to take that medicine. I'm afraid if you don't like, things like that.

[00:11:12] Vernon Davis: So my biological family, no, they weren't. they were in support of that.

decision, you know, Hey, we just want you to get better, you know, whatever you feel like you have to do, please do it because he just wants you to get better and wants you to be around, for your, you know, your new bride.

I think me and my wife had been married for a year at this time, coming up on a year. Uh, to be around for my nephew, who was three at the time. And, uh, you know, from my parents, my siblings, my in-laws all them now, also my extended family, that was hesitant on my decision-making and, it was trying to get me to reconsider and, after four or five months, sharing with them, updates consistently, they saw the benefit of me not having use that medication.

And, they apologize, you know, you have a very nice way. No, no, no love loss. They only share with me what they knew, out of concern. And I appreciate it to this day. They've been in my corner, you know, whether we disagreed or not on, you know, my tactics, my regimen, what have you.

but they're still a part of my overall family and, still in my corner of support.

[00:12:15] Damaged Parents: That's awesome. I love how you said that even though you guys disagreed, you were still able to share those updates and you knew that there was no love lost it. So that even though your choice was different, So it felt supported. And I think sometimes during these struggles, it's so important to feel that support so that we can achieve what we need to achieve, you know, and for you, it was how can I do this naturally?

[00:12:39] Vernon Davis: Yes, ma'am and I attribute that a lot to self-education. Um, I spent many hours going through various articles online reviewing different publications, you're trying to get to the bottom of, what causes type two diabetes watching different documentaries YouTube videos, just trying to pull any information that I can formulate, and revamp, every week, make edits to my regimen, you know, finding something out new, that'd be more beneficial than something I'm currently doing, you know, adding that to the regimen. And so, you know, the reason that I can confidently, you know, express that there was no love loss is because you know we only operate and we share and we speak about it.

And we encourage with the knowledge that we have the knowledge that I was able to come into. I would not have came into, had it not been for the diagnosis. So I would not have known that there was a way to do it naturally?

And the, different variables to include in a regimen to be able to do it naturally.

And so I probably would have been similar to, those family members of my, Hey, need to take this medication because that's what the doctor said. and nothing against any medical professional. As I share with my family and friends, like, Hey, you know, I'm going to go this route because the research that I've done been able to find support staff, it's good for my body long-term and it's going to yield me the results that I want probably in an amount of time that I probably would not have imagined, you know, and they actually, it happened very, very fast, you know, all things considered.

Uh, so Yeah. I attributed no love loss to, you know, being able to renew my mind to understanding that others haven't renewed their mind in that way. Others haven't seen the research that I've seen. They haven't found the information that I found and that's okay.

[00:14:15] Damaged Parents: it is. Right. But sometimes. I don't acknowledge. And I go into my next question, but what was the most surprising thing that you learned early on that you were like, what?

[00:14:27] Vernon Davis: So the most surprising thing that I learned from self research is that, sugar isn't the only, components to type two diabetes? Uh, haven't been, uh, developed at least in my body. that animal protein was more so the culprit, uh, than added sugar, that really blew my mind.

[00:14:45] Damaged Parents: Wait. So for you, you ate a lot of protein and also sugar or, explained a little bit.

[00:14:53] Vernon Davis: So animal proteins. So animal products, meat, dairy, really, meat and dairy. So, you know, different kind of, you know, turkey, chicken, beef, gator, raccoon, and then going into, you know, all dairy products, yogurt, ice cream, 2% milk, whole milk. You know, cheese. Uh, and then I even learned that I forget the exact wording, but low fat didn't necessarily equate healthy either.

You know, and I have to go back and find that particular resource, but I remember sitting up and reading through it and I was just stunned that how is low fat not healthier? And it, was actually, from what I read. It wasn't as beneficial as something that had more fat, which really blew my mind, but I will have to pull the information, to show it to someone for it to make sense.

But, yeah, you know, just learning a lot about. Meat and dairy basically. And how, and I ate a lot of meat and dairy all day, every day, along with your processed foods, chips, and cookies and candy and things of that nature. But you know, to have read that meat and dairy, uh, really is a main, main culprit was very frustrating.

I mean, so much so when I'll talk about this in my book, there was a study that I looked up, I didn't go looking forward. I happened upon it, and I dove deeper into it and, You know, there was a, cancer, study that was done and the cancer cells were turned on in this one group of specimen, because of the, diet that they had, which was primarily, animal protein.

So primary meat and dairy versus that, plant-based.

[00:16:25] Damaged Parents: Right. So did you switch to a plant based diet then?

[00:16:28] Vernon Davis: So, I, uh, primarily switched to a plant-based diet. So, I like to think of it. What was a pescatarian, approach? so it was a like 85, 90% plant base. I tell people that I ate what I want and that's very true. The reason that it's true is because I learned to changed the way that I thought and viewed food.

And So once changed the weather, I thought, and I viewed food, my desire of food changed as well. And so, you know, I could sit and actually eat something that I wanted. That was beneficial for me.

[00:16:58] Damaged Parents: So give us an example of, a thought then that you would have before, when you would go to eat. And how that shifted and changed. Was it like emotional eating? That's what I'm trying to like, what was it?

[00:17:10] Vernon Davis: Yeah. Great question. So, one of the things that I do attribute to, having gotten massively overweight, as well as develop type two diabetes was the learned behavior of food addiction and, that stands when I was much younger, eight or nine years old, learning that food and sugary drinks can soothe me in a time of discomfort, frustrating situations, And I experienced a lot of those lot of stressful situations.

And so as I got older, I learned that, Hey, just keep food around, contain a snack and she, and munch on food and I'll stay happy or at least, not go into, you know, a sad feeling or a frustrated feeling, regardless of the environment that I'm in to which what I will be in those environments, I would, eat considerably more than what I was already eating, which was an excess, this, I would be eating, you know, excess to the second power to the third power , so that was, my thinking of food in the past.

you know, If I saw something and I wanted it, I would eat it. That's how I approached food in the past. If I sat down at a table, I'm going to eat until I feel satisfied as in full not satisfied as my hunger pain has gone away or. That feeling has gone away. And So you know, my approach changed to, okay, let me limit, what I consume, let me still enjoy what I like, but let me change what I like by renewing my mind or how I approach food.

And, I learned that a lot of the foods that I ate in the past consistently, if I ate them, I would be unproductive for the next 30 minutes to two hours. You never know when you have to do something. And so then I switched my mindset to, I want to be able to eat something that I enjoy.

That's going to be beneficial for me too. I can fit. So as I finished, I can get back to being productive. I don't get sleepy or tired, from what I eat now consistently, because it's more beneficial for me.

[00:18:59] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like you shifted from emotional eating in a sense to eating for purpose.

[00:19:08] Vernon Davis: Correct?

[00:19:08] Damaged Parents: And I mean, because it took this, I guess a crisis, right? Uh, that finding out you had type two diab-

like, I'm thinking that's what propelled you a little bit in the beginning of the journey, but as the journey kept going, did you ever slip back into those old behaviors and have to readjust.

[00:19:26] Vernon Davis: Oh, definitely. So when I was diagnosed, the day I was diagnosed, I cut out soda and juice. Haven't had soda juice since July the 24th and I was diagnosed and I was putting my regimen together and figuring out how I wanted to eat what I was going to eat. You know, my wife was my biggest motivation.

In a distance, you know, one understand, I laugh myself too, but you know, being here for my wife was huge motivation. A month later we found out we were pregnant. And so now knowing that we have a child on the way, you know, it was motivation for me as well. Then a few months later I found out our child was going to be a boy.

So then that became more motivation for me to, okay. I want to be around for my son, to teach him different things to instill you know, different characteristics of myself, into him, different principles that I've learned when instill that into him and help him be the best man that he can be as he gets older.

And having that was great then as the new year turn, so this was 2021. you know, I had gotten down 50 pounds, which is awesome and I needed new goals for myself as it relates to my, physical fitness regimen. And so now I want to get stronger. I want to be able to, long-term, I want to be able to compete in different competitions where, it's just my body weight.

And so now I'm focusing on just building strength, using my body weight, not pumping iron or anything like that. then it went to, okay, well, I want to pick up my endurance, so now I need to incorporate jogging and things like that. And so when you're doing all of that in order to be able to reach those goals, I had to maintain, the mental health that point I had gotten to my mental health as well as maintain a particular eating regimen so that I didn't, so I didn't shoot myself in the foot.

So to speak, with, you know, having, going back to a bad diet of bad nutritional outlook and trying to accomplish these physical fitness goals. They were counseling so the out and I wouldn't make it. Um, and so now a couple, it all fits together and it's just my lifestyle.

[00:21:23] Damaged Parents: Right. So it sounds like what really happened is your values took over.

[00:21:29] Vernon Davis: Yeah.

[00:21:29] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And, in that you what I'm hearing is you have this tremendous love for your wife, and you want to be there for a long time. And then when you found out you had a son, it just re-instituted like all the things that you wanted to be able to share that you wouldn't be able to share.

If you weren't there. Yeah, I think sometimes it's, we have to find that. And it's so hard. It's almost, I don't know if in some ways we need that crisis like, I don't know, like, would we find it without it? It's your would be easier and I wouldn't have a podcast.

[00:22:08] Vernon Davis: I like to think of the term we learned in middle school. Maybe there's a phrase out of term, a fight or flight. You know, when that crisis came in my life, when I was diagnosed and now knowledge of what was going on with me, I was either going to fight it, push back, or I was going to run, as in, runaway from the diagnosis, even though it's not going to go anywhere, and continue to do what I was doing to, soothe myself the only way I knew how which was to continue to eat, out of control.

[00:22:34] Damaged Parents: How did you soothe yourself after now? You've got this cause you're coming out of this emotional eating and changing that. And I'm sure that there are some limits. I'm not, I'm only going to eat. What I heard you say is I'm only going to eat until I'm satisfied, not full, but satisfied. So how did you cope with these emotions then when you started to make this change?

[00:22:57] Vernon Davis: Yeah, with us being at home in the middle of the pandemic, technology like, the zoom app was a very helpful or FaceTime or just phone calls, emails, and were very helpful in order to stay in contact with, people in my inner circle to be able to talk through different things. My good friend, Darren,

he will listen to me. if my wife wasn't available, I call him and sit and chat with him about what was going on in my, mom and my dad made themselves available to talk. My mother and father-in-law, sister-in-law my brother and my sister. They were all available for me to talk, in times where I was still in stressed my two

accountability partners Briana and Tony, they were available for me. But there were times where they weren't available and, it was just me and the situation., so my thought, and those are the times where I really pushed to, you know, to pray, and to talk to God and ask for help but there were times where I even failed in those moments and slipped back into the emotional eating that was familiar with.

You know, are those a day of particular? I was sitting at my workstation. It was rainy outside. My wife was at home. She was onsite for her job and I was filling the motion about something that happened earlier that day. And I just started doubting myself. This is probably Maybe October of, 20, so three months or so after my original diagnosis.

And, I started doubting myself and questioning why I was doing what I was doing. It was going to take too long, just having this, I wanted to now mentality. And so I convinced myself that it was going to be, just so hard to do that. It was almost impossible. I got on my phone, one of the popular food delivery apps and ordered a two hamburgers and a large fry.

And once they got here, you know, I sat and I cried while I ate it. I ate as much as I could through the rest of the way and immediately got on the phone and contacted my accountability partners Briana and Tony and let them know what happened. And, you know, they were just so comforting for me was very encouraging to me.

Hey, you know, it's okay. You know, set backs are part of the journey. You know, now we just take, you know, the experience you had and we, try to figure out what the triggers are and be able to identify those next time so that we don't have this same response. And on tomorrow, we're going to go back to working out, the way that we've been doing, and, pick it up from there and keep on pushing towards the overall goal, which was optimal health.

[00:25:09] Damaged Parents: Yeah, that's beautiful because what I heard was, yes, I have setbacks and I had all these different people supporting me. And even when I didn't think they were there and I did have a setback, when I went back, they didn't shame me. They didn't, they just said it's okay. It's part of the journey. And let's just keep going.

We just keep going. Yeah so it sounds like even inside of you that maybe at first there was a little bit of shame, but you called them and in that probably helped a lot because they were able to show you that unconditional love in that moment where you felt like you're sharing with them, the absolute worst part of yourself. You're nodding your head. Yes.

[00:25:49] Vernon Davis: Oh, sorry. I think I missed the question

[00:25:51] Damaged Parents: oh, no, I, I just, uh, I was looking for confirmation that it was in a moment when you felt like you were at your worst and you called these people and showed them the word, what you thought was probably one of the worst parts of yourself, which is.

This emotional eating right. That it would be really easy to feel shame about. And they loved you then and said, that's okay, this is the journey.

[00:26:17] Vernon Davis: Yeah. And that, that makes, made a world of difference. Even as it, some time after that, and it could still even happens to this day. I mean, each day is new. I have to learn, probably a year or so into the journey that I can't thrive off of yesterday. Because it's in the past, today's a new day and you have to stay just to make four today in order to get through today.

And the decisions that are made, are you going to either going to be in line with my goals or they're going to go against them?

[00:26:44] Damaged Parents: Right. Yeah. That's really reassuring too. Like I can appreciate and be grateful that I had this success yesterday. Right.

[00:26:54] Vernon Davis: Yes.

[00:26:55] Damaged Parents: I can't live today based on yesterday thinking that it's going to go exactly how it went yesterday with those great. I mean, especially if it's great, it's so much easier if it was a bad day.

[00:27:09] Vernon Davis: Right.

[00:27:09] Damaged Parents: Just hit me. Yeah. It's like so much easier to do the next day of yesterday was bad, but if yesterday was freaking amazing, it's like, oh man, I just want that back right now.

[00:27:20] Vernon Davis: Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Yes. I have felt that.

[00:27:25] Damaged Parents: I hadn't really put that. I think I've put it together before, but not so succinctly, like. Man, That's like a universal truth right there. I want yesterday. Not today. No,

I know. I laugh at the most interesting things, but you know, it's like when something comes and smacks you in the face, it's like, oh duh, this is one of those moments you get to witness it. Vernon is witnessing me having an oh, duh a little Well so now. You're publishing your book. It's 2022 right now. We're in February. So the book is out. It's called Uncomfortable Peace by Vernon P Davis. What made you think of that title Uncomfortable Peace?

[00:28:09] Vernon Davis: You know, originally, the title was going to be Couch Potato and, you know, I kept coming back to a product to three months and just looking at the title, like it's not going to reach a broad audience, it's going to reach a very specific audience. And I didn't want that. Because my book, although it's about my attorney, I really talk about a lot of principles that are applicable to all facets of life.

I was like, even when I speak, I don't just speak to, uh, individuals or groups that have a chronic illness I speak to all all different audiences. So when I, read it, the title, Uncomfortable Peace was, you know, Ms. Michelle, She, she had a saying saying that said, you know, hard now, hard later.

And you know, I really resonated with it. This is after I came with the title, but Uncomfortable Peace was, you know in order to be at peace with myself to, be still in a sense and enjoy where I'm at where I want to go rather where I want to be. I have to do things that are uncomfortable to me to achieve that.

Whereas if I stay in my comfort zone, you know, I'm going to be inviting different, different frustrations that are going to bother me any way. So it's a lot better for me to make the decision to step out of my comfort zone and do things that go against my nature, do things that I otherwise will. You don't want to do that are going to be taxing on my body.

That's going to be draining of my energy in order to reach a point where I'm at peace, where I'm happy, where I'm in a have a status that, I can live with it and be proud of. And I think that applies to all areas of life, be it, education, be it financially, be it, you know, during employment, and families. And as I conclude that we have to do things that are uncomfortable and we really don't want to do in order to get to where we want to go and be at peace there.

[00:29:58] Damaged Parents: Okay. So I think if I were to like, apply that to emotion or something like that, that comes up in the moment. Like feeling that anger, feeling that frustration super uncomfortable and yet important to sit and feel it to determine what next steps I might need to take and so that I can have that peace is that a little bit of what you're talking about?

[00:30:19] Vernon Davis: Yes. So at least for me in my anger by nature, I like to lash out. That's comfort for me that makes me feel better. It's uncomfortable to stop. Gather myself, have some self-control think through whatever is going on and even have a conversation with whomever angered me in order to come to a resolution which produces peace. So you're spot on with it, with that example. Yes.

[00:30:45] Damaged Parents: almost like being curious about what the anger is about.

[00:30:48] Vernon Davis: Yes. Getting to the root of it. Exactly

[00:30:50] Damaged Parents: Yeah, what's really going on here , and then, because that deeper level can be addressed, then you can get to that peace that's what I'm hearing you say.

[00:31:01] Vernon Davis: That is correct

[00:31:02] Damaged Parents: That's beautiful. I love that title because. Just even out of this little conversation of me wanting to understand I think there's so much beauty in meeting anger and frustration, those uncomfortable feelings with I really think it's love so that you can have that peace. You're meeting it with love. You're not judging it. You're not fighting it back. You're not just letting it run you. It's peace and love. Right?

[00:31:29] Vernon Davis: Yes, ma'am.

[00:31:30] Damaged Parents: No. That's amazing. Okay. Well, if someone is like, they're walking out of the doctor's office today and they just got this diagnosis, first three things, tips or tools you would highly recommend that they, do right now.

[00:31:45] Vernon Davis: Find an accountability partner, at least to someone that you can talk to about what you're feeling, how you're feeling, the information that was shared with you, and that can be of assistance to you motivating you to push towards any plateaus that you may have any frustrations that you may have in route to whatever your now goal becomes, whatever that goal is after coming out of the doctor's office and hearing this negative news, you don't want to do this alone?

I can't stress that enough. What I learned in other areas of my life, Doing things alone, especially if it's going to be challenging, there's a very, very low success percentage, to which you're actually more likely to fall back into whatever that habit or, whatever that thing or those things were that got you into this bad spot in the first place by trying to try to fix it or do it yourself.

So, accountability partners, first thing, second thing. Self-education if you have this diagnosis, if you're not familiar with it or you're not that familiar with it, you want to learn more about it outside of any information that is given to you to peruse. Medical professionals, nothing at all.

I've learned that, a lot of doctors and some have, even shared this with me, without me prompting, a lot of doctors don't get nutritional training in medical school.

[00:33:01] Damaged Parents: I think they get like four hours.

[00:33:03] Vernon Davis: Yeah, I listened to this , in the documentary. So there was a four hours, one, doctor told me that that at least she didn't get any, which I was surprised, but I just said, okay.

But yeah, four hours, I think it was one of those documentaries that I saw that said, something like and it was, very sad for all the hours that have in total in medical school. but yeah, a lot of doctors don't get, nutritional training unless something prompts them to want to look deeper into it, which, unfortunately it could be a, life-changing situation for them or a loved one.

So, you know, self-education is very, very big. Uh, it's a lot easier to go back to what, you know, if you're trying to do what someone told you to do. And so in contrast to that, it's a lot easier to apply something that you've learned in hard times if you researched it for yourself and you're able to reinforce what you've learned on your own, by seeing it in multiple places, the likelihood of you being able to stick with it in challenging times is far greater than if you did that research on your own.

If you didn't take the time out of your day to go look for this information and get an understanding of what's going on and what to do and get to the root, getting to the root cause of different things.

[00:34:09] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like your second, thing really is do the work, do the research, do the investigation because then it's you taking responsibility for the knowledge that you have instead of just accepting what someone else said is true.

[00:34:23] Vernon Davis: That's correct. So having an accountability partner and self-education it all stems from taking ownership because the accountability partners are only, going to be there for you, for you to get to where you say you want to go. Now there are times where they're going to be hard on you or it's going to feel that way, you know, and that's okay.

Most of the time those are when we're. Those that are in need of the accountability partners are any emotional moments. And, you know, were hearing some things that we, we don't want to hear at that moment. And that's okay. You know, that's what our accountability partners are for, but overall, that is a, step in us taking ownership, or that's a step in one taking ownership by enlisting an accountability partner, because now you got people that's going to check on you to, see, Hey, are you doing what you say you wanted to do?

You know, how's this going? Hey, you haven't checked in with me. Please give me an update. I'd like to know how you're doing with this thing that you say you want to help with and accountability for. So there's ownership there, uh, there's ownership and taking the time out, you know, putting down video games, turning off Netflix and Hulu and, researching, all that you can about, this chronic illness what leads to this chronic illness.

And how to undo this chronic illness. There's ownership in that. and the last thing I would highly recommend for anyone that's walking out of the doctor's office today, being diagnosed with type two diabetes, go to amazon.com and purchase Uncomfortable Piece.

It is a great resource for you. Now I do say that because I wrote and it's mine, but, also there is a lot of beautiful information in there that one can use to help start their own, self research. They're taking ownership and there's a lot of steps in there that, you know, you can use and apply immediately, to be able to achieve whatever your goal is. My assumption is that the goal is to reverse type two diabetes, to get your A1C level down, to lower your blood sugar.

That's my assumption, but whatever your goal is, this book is a great resource and helping you to achieve that.

[00:36:19] Damaged Parents: That's awesome. I love that, that you really stress that it's not just about type two diabetes, that it's about many things. You know, you could take this struggle. You could take whatever struggle you're dealing with and use the tools that you provide in the book and they will help. So I think that's fantastic.

You can find Vernon Davis at DF Publishing on Facebook and Instagram. Do you have a website to, they can go to?

[00:36:45] Vernon Davis: I do. Yes. Ma'am, https://DFPpublishing.org.

[00:36:49] Damaged Parents: Awesome. Check them out, guys. Vernon Davis. Thank you so much for being on the show.

[00:36:55] Vernon Davis: thank you so much for having me.

[00:36:56] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Vernon Davis.

About how he's learned to recognize his emotional eating habits. We especially liked when he talked about surrounding himself with people who loved and supported him on his journey. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on YouTube. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then