S2E28: How I was Saved from Myself
I have been a Busy Career Oriented Single Mother for over 20 years and have overcome life challenges of divorce, single parenting, forgiveness, identity issues, codependency, and debilitating fear and anxiety! Now my heart is to help empower other women to overcome their life challenges through Christian Life Coaching and Financial Coaching. I am certified in Life Coaching and also a licensed Financial Professional.
Social media and contact information:
https://www.oneheartempowered.com/
https://direct.me/oneheartempowered
Podcast transcript
[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged parents were angry, forgiving sweet people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.
Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than. Like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.
Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience?
My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole.
Those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them. Let's hear from another hero.
Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and does not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them.
Today, we're going to talk with Cheryl Kent. She has many roles in her life. Mom career woman and more. We'll talk about how her husband left her for another woman and how she found hope and healing let's talk
Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today, we have Cheryl Kent with us. She is a busy career oriented single mother for over 20 years, and she's overcome life challenges of divorce, single parenting, forgiveness, identity issues, codependency, and debilitating fear and anxiety. Now her heart is to help empower other women in overcoming their life challenges through Christian life coaching and financial coaching.
She's a certified life coach, and she's also a licensed financial planner. Cheryl, thank you so much for coming to the show.
[00:02:44] Cheryl Kent: Oh, you're welcome. It's such a pleasure to be here and I just love the topics that you discussed. So I'm sure we'll have a lot of rich, robust discussions.
[00:02:54] Damaged Parents: Oh, yeah, I, well, you know, how could we not it's struggle and who hasn't experienced some struggle in their life, and the more I think we share what. Our particular struggle looked like and how we got through it. I think the easier it is for others, because like we were talking before the actual recording is that even if it's a similar struggle, it still is a different journey
[00:03:20] Cheryl Kent: absolutely 100% and we're all unique and design. And one thing is for sure there is always change. And it's how we take on those challenges and what we do with them, how we learn from them, how we grow from them only helps enhance our lives.
[00:03:40] Damaged Parents: Yeah, it's more of a journey. there is no finish line.
[00:03:44] Cheryl Kent: Yes.
[00:03:45] Damaged Parents: And I still have a need to describe it as a marathon. And I know I can no longer do that. Even now. There's no marathon. There's no arriving
[00:03:56] Cheryl Kent: Yes,
[00:03:58] Damaged Parents: maybe for a moment. Like, I'll feel like I arrived I don't know about you, but
[00:04:02] Cheryl Kent: I'm sure.
[00:04:02] Damaged Parents: boy.
[00:04:03] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely.
[00:04:05] Damaged Parents: Anyhow. So you have a struggle though, that you are here to talk about that effected, not just you, but all of your family. I mean, it really impacted the people around you. Can you share that struggle with us and then we'll just chit chat along the way.
[00:04:21] Cheryl Kent: Sure absolutely. you know, just starting from my life journey of a divorce, I think is a place to start with. As it aligns with all of the topics that you talk about in your podcasts. But I was Insecure women. I had a identity issues and was married for a time. We were married for about four years.
And unfortunately that ended up where I divorced when my son was only a month old and I had two parents that were already passed on. So this time was very, just such an incredibly low time. And that and co-dependency issues and fear and anxiety of the future of what that held. And it caused me.
I, believed in God, I had sought faith. When I was a little girl, I found Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior, but I hadn't practiced. And until something like this That is monumental. And so I pressed into Him to help me get through these times and He did. But it was very hard as it was betrayal that it led into, of course, and this, woman that my husband at the time was involved with was a friend of mine.
So it just hit to the core, through that And through time and pressing into the Lord. I learned to not put my situation in the path of my son's life. I really tried hard at that and tried to work with my son's father and went through a big transformation of forgiveness. I realized that forgiveness wasn't about the other person.
It was about me. I'm sure many people hear that. But I think the key thing that I learned that was monumental was that just by me forgiving that person of what he did to me, what's it saying what he did was okay. It was more or less saying, okay, I'm giving you to God and I'm just going to move on with my life.
And that is a process. Definitely. yeah, it really led to a lot. It was a lot of years of extending out olive branches, sometimes not getting stuff in return. As far as extra time with my son until his heart started softening and we really started working well together. But that was, it was a challenging time.
But now looking at my son, I wouldn't have done it any other way.
[00:06:53] Damaged Parents: That's awesome. which means hopefully it just, it worked out the way it was supposed to work out. Right. , I would like to understand better, what the process of forgiveness and I'm thinking there was blame anger, justification for that anger, things like that. But how did you finally come to the conclusion that.
You needed to forgive and figure out how to do that.
[00:07:18] Cheryl Kent: I love that you mentioned that. And one thing I will say if someone doesn't have complete time to listen I do have three testimonies on my website. My website is https://oneheartempowered.com. They're all a half an hour, but I talk about these processes if somebody wants to learn more from that. But in essence, the point I came to was that you are correct the bitterness and the anger had consumed me so much that, I would snap at my own son.
When he was a toddler. And I remember I was in a sales position and so I would be driving a lap around a lot and just gripping the steep steering. Well, and so much that I thought I had carpal tunnel in my wrist because of the stress and the bitterness that I had, my neck was tired. It was just really starting to come out physically.
And the final straw was I. Basically was yelling and screaming at my son and my son would crouch down as if I was almost going to hit him.
And he's a toddler. So this is about two or three and it shocked me so much. And I'm like, this is not who I want to be. This is not who I am. I have to do something.
I have to do something. Another monumental thing that happened through that transition was I was going to church and a sermon just happened to be right at that same time. That's what God does. And it talked about forgiveness and the meaning of forgiveness, but also a process that you go through and that forgiveness is not a one-time event.
It can be certain things, but for me personally, What I did that really helped me over that hump was just to sit in quiet time with the Lord and journal and bring up the person's name and allow God to bring up every situation that, that person did that harmed me and to process and to basically tell God what
That person did and how it hurt me. And then I just emotionally went through that with the Lord and proclaimed out loud. this is what this person did to me. But because you died on the cross for me, I forgive them because you forgave me and I don't feel like it, but I'm doing it out of trust.
And. That day that I did, that was So incredibly healing for me. I cannot tell you the amount of peace that came with it And there's just certain times that went on where this person would do something condescending, angry. And I would go through that process with the Lord and. I started praying for my ex-husband, my son's father, even, even just little prayers as far as, please help them be happy so that my son can be content at their house.
[00:10:16] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like , when you sat down in this, in process, through with your journaling and everything, to forgive that it wasn't forgiveness. If only they learn.
[00:10:29] Cheryl Kent: Yes. 100%
[00:10:31] Damaged Parents: It was really a true forgiveness. And almost like you were willing, to experience him with those behaviors again and forgive again and again, and again.
[00:10:47] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely. And that's what it is. It's, bringing up those emotions that you stuffed down so deep inside, and many times our feelings deceive us. And so we're afraid to bring up those feelings because we tend to think they're going to be with us for the rest of this is how we're going to feel for the rest of our lives, because it's so real at that time.
But in essence, that's not true. And when you're bringing it and confessing it into God's light, he takes that and it's not stuffed down anymore. And you're releasing all of that. Pressure that you have kept tight inside you for so long to where you can really let go and fill that piece.
[00:11:33] Damaged Parents: And I think it's really interesting that you use the word kept tight inside of you all along because. Even now there's science that shows that those dysregulating feelings are, not healthy for us.
[00:11:48] Cheryl Kent: Yeah.
[00:11:48] Damaged Parents: that we need to, find our way back to our heart and back to that piece.
[00:11:54] Cheryl Kent: Yes. If you, I mean, even if you start looking up statistics about stress and anxiety and unforgiveness and what that does to a person's body, you wonder why hypertension and heart problems increase in our country. It's not just about eating habits or. If you're on pain medications, because your neck is bothering you because it's so tight.
Or if you're not sleeping at night, you're dealing with insomnia. Why the increase in sleeping medications is so popular. It's all affected. It can be effected by unforgiveness.
[00:12:31] Damaged Parents: Yeah, it almost is like, what I'm hearing you say is that that unforgiveness can really impact us physically on a deeper level. And with the increase, like you were saying, the increase in heart disease and things like that. Isn't that interesting. How much more powerful are our emotions and where we choose to sit in them than we even realize.
I just have to, I know you don't have the answer to that question. That's just a broader question. Like, huh?
[00:13:03] Cheryl Kent: 100%, you can go down a rabbit hole. Some people eat out of emotions, it's comforting for them. So if they're stuffing their emotions, they're going to be stuffing their emotions with food.
[00:13:16] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I recently read a book. I don't know why this came up for me, but it's one of the quotes that I remember something to the effect of the moment. If you know someone with like an eating, problem or they're eating for their feelings and things like that, which I know I have done. Have, is the moment I'm looking for or the feeling I'm looking for?
It's not the moment after I ate or is it when I'm tasting the food? It's that moment right before, and I just, when I've read that, I was like, how often in anything in life, is it the moment right before that I'm looking for and not the actual moment. And then how present am I being. And I'm thinking you probably have to learn to be really present in what was happening.
What tool, what did you do? What were some of your experiences?
[00:14:07] Cheryl Kent: 100%. I, the word present is so key, especially when you're dealing with so many issues. I could go off on so many tangents on that. But especially when you're dealing with a situation of forgiveness or bitterness or anger or more just a breakup of a family and to be present with your children. And, and as a single mother, it having a career where I travel quite quite a bit, I had to learn to just stop whatever was going on around me.
Even though everything within me wanted to control other situations, but to be present in my son's life. I learn what they're not spiritual gifts, but the love language, like one of my son's love languages is quality time. So that was so key as far as being present. But when you're dealing with bitterness or anger or when you're dealing with anxiety, extreme anxiety and fear learning to just be present, because when you're fearing or anxiety, something you're looking into the future, when your anger or bitterness about something, you're often looking to the past. And you're you allow your mind to deviate where if you can allow your mindset just to be right where you're at and not focus on those things.
[00:15:36] Damaged Parents: So I think what you're saying right where you're at, but also I'm wondering if you're also talking about, like, let's say in that moment that feeling comes up or something happens in a feeling comes up. Sometimes they just need to be with it, but not fix it. Is that the same as being, because I think we can, well, I can get confused, you know, being what is being present because I'm here in this moment and I can look around and say my five things and make sure I'm in the moment.
And yet there's still this feeling. So I'm thinking, is there a connection. To being present and allowing those feelings to just kind of pass through or is that maybe there's a different word than I should be using.
[00:16:16] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely. What I would say to that is, and I'm glad you worded that question this way. So think.
about being present with your feelings and not associating it to something of the past, because if there's something that needs to be healed of the past, whether it wound, whether you have been betrayed by someone.
if someone else comes into your life where you start feeling that anxiety and fear that they're going to do something to cause that betrayal where you start feeling that fear and anxiety, you have to sit with that of what's going on with the present, because many of us have tie our wounds to what's going on with us.
Instead of just looking at the situation for what it is. Does that make sense? So we do connect our feelings of past hurts to something that is going on with us in the present that can magnify your feelings. And then you can take when you're able to deal with what's going on in the present. Then the, wisest thing to do is, is to really start looking at why did I react so much more strongly to this.
Maybe there's something of my past that needs to be healed because if you're healed from that, then something else happens to you in the future. That's similar. It may not affect you as, as severely as it had.
[00:17:46] Damaged Parents: Right. You're kind of reminded me of when someone says something and I, that feeling of comes up. If I really look at what they're saying, then from a factual point, it doesn't make sense, but the emotion came up for a reason. So there's, that's telling me, oh, there's something here. Let me figure out what it is.
So it sounds like using those feelings as like a yeah, I guide a trigger.
[00:18:13] Cheryl Kent: Yes.
[00:18:14] Damaged Parents: To investigate further, oh, you know what? I need to investigate. And I need to deal with this right now and investigate further so that I can integrate some of this trauma or whatever it is.
[00:18:24] Cheryl Kent: And that's what I do a lot with my clients. As, as with coaching is something different than counseling. Coaching is more looking at what's going on presently and how can we help you move forward? How can we help you develop tools? It's not about advice. It's about really listening and allowing the person to verbally.
Work through those things, because it's incredibly a lightening , to someone when you're dealing with issues like that, it really takes such a weight off of their shoulders or releases that pressure that they built up inside for so long.
[00:19:04] Damaged Parents: Right. So someone who's working with a coach may also be working with a therapist at the same or a psychologist at the same time.
[00:19:11] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely. Absolutely.
[00:19:14] Damaged Parents: And so the coach is kind of the cheerleader for what's happening now. And how can we be successful in this moment?
[00:19:21] Cheryl Kent: Correct? Correct. Yes. that's often what happens because of the fact, you know, it's always good for a coach to know what has gone in the past. And it's good to deal with someone who has experience with what you've gone through or knowledge of course, because you have that connection and understanding, but it is definitely partnering with them to move forward.
[00:19:47] Damaged Parents: so how hard was it after this forgiveness? The forgiveness happened? I want to just want to go back to that.
you know, you were saying some things would happen again. Would you go back to the journal and journal again and forgive again?
[00:20:00] Cheryl Kent: Correct. and I'm glad you brought that up because many, many times. I think we're even trained just to think that forgiveness is a one time deal, but it's better to look at it as a process. and as you go through it, yes. As far as to answer your question, I would journal or I would pray there was many things I'd even exercise sometime to get that out. This'll be funny to you, but back way back when, and when Tibo was really popular, I would be punching in the air and that helped me, but there's just different ways in different techniques. But when I really sat with God, And processed it through is when the release and the healing came.
And I work. I will tell you the benefits of that was just so astronomical because yes my relationship with my son changed, and now even years ago, when I started changing my behavior and letting go of that bitterness and anger, I couldn't even yell at my son anymore. Couldn't even fathom doing that.
I don't do it. It just didn't work well with him at all. I learned to work more strategically because my emotions were more in check. And so that even helps the stress level in my wrists. As far as the gripping, the steering wheel and the tension in my neck was far diminished. And yes, you go through certain times where.
You know, Like my ex-spouse would, do something, say something, try to control me about something and it would just set me off. But then as I processed through the Lord, And realize that. And yes, I also had, at the time I had a therapist and she helped as well get it's once you gain perspective of where some of this is coming from and why you're reacting the way that you do it can be very empowering, very empowering.
And, and in time, I learned to set boundaries and not allow certain conversations that would upset me. I learned to not have these things affect me. God gave me the wisdom to understand why this person was reacting the way that they did and realize it's their deal. It has nothing to do with me and I don't need to get involved in that.
I don't need to draw myself in the energy, into that.
[00:22:32] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And how hard was that to do? I mean, that, to me seems like a big deal to say that their reaction is them. I'm only, I'm responsible for what I'm doing, how I'm just thinking if anyone's struggling with that right now, what would you tell them?
[00:22:51] Cheryl Kent: Oh my gosh. Again, it's process the beginning is hard because you're re learning something. So not to give up. And it can be two steps forward and then four steps back. But you gain momentum every time. That our world is such a world of instant gratification. Even when we parent our kids, we expect change to happen.
In a blink of an eye, and that is a lie. It's a process and you keep moving, you keep moving forward and it changes to where all of a sudden, two months, three months down the road, you feel even more empowered. and learn not to have those reactions. And it does work incredibly, especially if you have somebody partnering along with you, encouraging you, that you could check in and say, I'm not really sure.
Like if I reacted right in this way, how could I do things differently that can also be very helpful and help speed up the process?
[00:23:50] Damaged Parents: I'm also thinking it had to have felt weird and awkward at first to not bite, I'm going to, or pick up the rope or whatever phrase metaphor you want to use in those situations. And that was, I think part of probably I'm going to guess that the part of the stepping back, it's like you get good and then something happens and crash.
[00:24:14] Cheryl Kent: Yes. Yes. The term I use is you feel very vulnerable. You feel very vulnerable because our instant reaction is to fight back, but the ironic. Thing. And my situation was, it became more powering because the other person that would be trying to put their digs in and attacking, they expected that reaction.
So when they didn't get it, it threw them off. So in the beginning they would start to attack more and more and it was hard that vulnerability of just remaining silent, remaining calm. But then I started to realize the more power that was given to me through that process. And in order to get any type of reaction or communication, that person was going to have to remain respectful.
[00:25:05] Damaged Parents: Nice. Now, so this went on for how long before you were able to have, I guess, more well, easier co-parenting conversations and things like that. I mean, did it take a long time, but once you four gave and did your work.
[00:25:23] Cheryl Kent: Right. I could see impact within. A couple of months and then learning to keep consistency, maybe over six months to a year. So you have those little setbacks, right. But you can see changes as you come along. So
[00:25:40] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And I'm sure you still had challenges even after that. It just wasn't as often.
[00:25:46] Cheryl Kent: Correct? Correct. And in the beautiful thing was, in part of the situation, even though I'll explain a little bit, even though my son's father had bitterness of his own and wanted to control, it was just issues that he had. And there were just some dynamics. There were family members that tend to decide with me.
Over what had happened. And so that's where some of the bitterness came from on his part. But through the years, as I learned to change my mindset and respect him as my son's father, not as my ex-husband, there were people around us, families around us that grew to respect the dynamics that we had with each other. And so things started working better. And as my son grew older and had baseball games and things, and when I would get a phone call from his father saying, could I have this extra time to practice with him? How could I say no to that?
[00:26:47] Damaged Parents: Hm.
[00:26:48] Cheryl Kent: then he therefore appreciated it. And then unbeknownst to me later on with finally say, you know, what would you like to have some extra time with him?
I could say that does not happen in every scenario, but I will tell you when God leads you to give it extra olive branch and you feel vulnerable and it's hard for you to do, but you do it anyway, trusting God. Eventually it pays off even more than you can ever, ever imagine.
[00:27:17] Damaged Parents: Well, and it really sounds like you were living by your values and what was important to you. And part of that would be having the way that your son was brought up, which would, I mean, if you were interrupting that practice time, That's a very different mother than the one that would say, please go practice.
This is something he, he enjoys. Cause it didn't, it wasn't about you as a parent, it was about him as a parent is kind of what I'm thinking is what was happening in your mind because you couldn't control what his thoughts were, but in your mind, who am I going to be?
[00:27:54] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely. And through that, Just, watching changes, his father saw changes in me, even, even his wife saw changes in me to where, they would have years later problems in their marriage. I remember praying with her, for their marriage. And then there was one time I talk about this in my testimony, in my, Website, but there was one time where my son was about 17 and his father had called me and he was completely at a point rock bottom. And he called to let me know that his wife was leaving him for another man. And because I had gone through. So much of that forgiveness process. And I watched them, I watched them grow as a family.
I've watched them have children. They had three other children that was hard. But when I got that phone call from him, all I had at that point was complete compassion because here's another marriage that's broken with three other children and. he started asking me, he really didn't know why he called me at the time that he really thought I was just going to bitch him out saying, why are you calling me?
And It just, it really changed him. And he started asking me how I ended up putting up with him. He started asking me how I made it through and he was him and his wife had turned Catholicism at the time, but they never learned the personal relationship with the Lord. So I just started telling him all of those things and unbeknownst to me, he accepted Christ in his heart that night, over that phone call.
So it was really such a beautiful thing that you just never know how God uses a situation. And now he is going to church. He has a beautiful relationship with my son. I never discussed anything with my son of what happened between us. That wasn't my place, but six months down the road, he was able to sit with our son and confessed to him what he did and asked for forgiveness from him.
And it was just a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful story. And Just a miracle that happened over, over something of forgiveness that you'd never ever expect.
[00:30:17] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And I, and I'm thinking just from chatting with you, that that's just a little extra, that seemed to happen because. the work was inside of you. It wasn't anything that, you could have done outside. And it just happened to be that that was what your husband needed at the time. And you just were a vessel but that's kind of, how I'm interpreting, what the story is.
[00:30:43] Cheryl Kent: 100%, 100%. What I love, what I do is because that's what I believe , I'm being as it's my hope is to allow God, to use me as his festival to help other women in power to get to that.
same point.
[00:31:00] Damaged Parents: And it seems like there's so much power in. The forgiveness, but it's not, it's not even, I don't know if power is even the right word. There's just the
[00:31:11] Cheryl Kent: There's a freedom it's a freedom and peace because what we don't realize is by not forgiving, we're actually keeping our own cells in our own prison. We're the one that's holding onto the misery. We're the one that's holding onto the bitterness. We're the one that's being kept, laid up at night, being bothered, why this person is moving on with their lives or that type of thing.
And when you do get to that point in the process of forgiveness, it's the release that you feel that the release of peace and freedom that you're not being held by that anymore.
[00:31:50] Damaged Parents: So you're no longer a prisoner to others.
[00:31:54] Cheryl Kent: Correct that you're allowing,
[00:31:56] Damaged Parents: Right. Cause you're you would be allowing one, one would be allowing it. I can't just say you were me.
[00:32:02] Cheryl Kent: right. It's not them doing it to you. You're allowing it.
[00:32:06] Damaged Parents: Yeah. You're just on a, on a side note, it's making me think of even just a conversation with anyone where in, not even wanting to see it. When someone gives me constructive criticism or something like that, and that feeling comes up and it's instead now it's maybe a deep breath and then, oh, oh, I could see that.
Like,
[00:32:30] Cheryl Kent: Yeah. It's truly apifany it truly is. Yes.
[00:32:35] Damaged Parents: yeah. It just being able to take feedback. feedback now takes on a Totally different meaning because I can look with love to myself and I can look at them with love and be grateful that they shared it.
[00:32:49] Cheryl Kent: Yes. and just to back up a little bit, I would like to emphasize to that individual who is really, really struggling with forgiveness, to not discredit to you because probably what you've dealt with is something tremendous and truly, truly wrong. And I remember there were times where someone needed, I had somebody tell me, why can't you just let go?
It's been year, you know, it. was like two or three years. and I just looked at him like as if daggers we're being pierced at them because it's like, who do you think you are? You have no idea what I've been through. You have no idea the pain and how I was wronged. So I'm just speaking to that person to say there is absolutely no one that I would ever want to offend in that way.
But I'm speaking from the heart to really sit back and just analyze how this has affected you personally, how this has consumed you. Are you not sleeping at night? Are you tensed up all the time? Are you bitter to where it's coming off on people that you love? then you're holding yourself in prison and there is a way out. And.
just by you going through forgiveness process is by No means telling that person what they did was okay. That's not what you're doing.
[00:34:13] Damaged Parents: that's reminded me of a quote or not a quote, but something that was once told it's not forgive and forget. It's forgive and learn.
And there are two very different things. and I do, I think, need to apologize. And in that, taking that moment , to really talk about it kind of a little bit lightly about taking constructive criticism and being able to, because I think that's, way down the road of after forgiveness.
That is certainly not something that happens right away
because. If at any point in time, if being stuck in that place, where of not being able to forgive and being traumatized and injured to that extent, even after that for a long time, any constructive criticism. it was personal and it was painful and it was not fun.
So I just want to apologize to listeners, but guess what? That is something that you get to have down the road and it is an amazing place to get to from. What Cheryl and I are talking about right now, which is that forgiveness. And sometimes I tend to forget that, I didn't get there yesterday. I didn't get there right.
The next day after forgiveness, it was, I mean, a big process. So thank you for reminding me, Cheryl.
[00:35:31] Cheryl Kent: And I will tell you on a swing. I had, a friend that I coached years ago and I met her through a Bible study that I was holding. And I mean, she had such anger and bitterness Over her ex-husband like a burning, I call it a burning bed kind of anchor. Like you, there's something you want to do to your ex-spouse.
And she would look at me just an amazement. Like I'm never going to get to that place that you're at, but years later and she's gone through amazing transformations. But she is a completely different person and her testimony is actually on my website as well.
Her name is Erica.
[00:36:15] Damaged Parents: Ah, thank you. Thank you. Yes. We're going to make sure that you guys know, make sure you get to http://oneheartempowered.com and take a look at some of these things. Cheryl, three top tools or tips for someone struggling in that horrible anger, blame justification, and that just isn't ready to forgive yet.
What would be three things they could do if they're thinking about it?
[00:36:42] Cheryl Kent: Oh, goodness. Top three things that come to mind are two analyze where you're at. The impacts that it's having on you and your family, because a lot of that can help create a desire to try to get there and then either journal or talk to somebody about it. that intimacy with the Lord. if you aren't sure how to do that there is a place to contact me within my website.
I'd be glad to have a conversation with you about that. but really sit with who hurts you and bring up some of the stuff that you've been stuffing. to try to release that. And then the other third point I would say is to, if you're a praying person to really try to start praying for them, even if it's a little prayer, you know, to try to Help them be happy. So my child is happy or something that comes to mind, but you be amazed over just the little motions that you make. The little efforts you don't have to do anything overnight. This is a process. it?
takes time, but you can become free and find peace and become empowered by doing it for yourself.
[00:38:01] Damaged Parents: What a perfect ending to the show. Everybody. This was Cheryl Kent, http://oneheartempowered.com. Check her out. And she's pretty amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
[00:38:14] Cheryl Kent: Thank you so much. This is an honor.
[00:38:16] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of relatively damaged by damaged parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Cheryl about how she learned forgiveness. We especially liked when she learned how forgiveness touched her son. And ex-husband. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Facebook look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then
