S2E26: How I Used Humor to Heal
Humor is a connector with healing benefits.
Lisa David Olson is a keynote speaker, podcaster, business humorist and speaker trainer.
She had two TEDx Talks released in 2021.
Whether in-person or online, she delivers high-energy presentations that challenge attendees to think creatively and choose the lighter side of life.
Audiences love her practical strategies they can apply personally and professionally.
Learn about Olson's 'Project in Bravery', her comedy album, book and journal at www.LisaDavidOlson.com
Social media and contact information:
https://instagram.com/lisadavidolson?
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stranger-connections/id1516167809
http://linkedin.com/in/lisa-david-olson-80376612
https://www.facebook.com/lisa.olson.improv.buddy
http://lisadavidolson.com
Podcast transcript
[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged Podcasts by Damaged Parents were hurting, abused. Funny people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume. 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.
Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than. Like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged and that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self. I want to better understand how others view their own challenges. Maybe it's not so much about the damage. Maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it.
There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole.
Those who stared directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. , not in spite of my trials, pop the cause of them. Let's hear from another hero.
Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them.
Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today, we have Lisa David Olson with us. She is a keynote speaker podcaster, business humorist, speaker trainer. She has two TEDx talks released in 2021, whether in-person or online, she delivers high energy presentations that challenge attendees to think creatively and choose the lighter side of life.
Audiences love her practical strategies. They can apply personally and professionally learn about Olson's project on bravery, her comedy album, book, and journal at https://LisaDavidOlson.com. Lisa welcome to the show.
[00:02:25] Lisa David Olson: Hey, Angela. Thank you so much. It's so lovely to be invited to be on this wonderful show.
[00:02:31] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Well, you know, I figured you're cool with people who identify as T-Rex's, you know, if that arms, they just don't work so well,
[00:02:38] Lisa David Olson: Everybody clap your, oh, you can't. Oh, T-Rex we started so sad.
[00:02:45] Damaged Parents: we did, I guess we did it in a way, huh?
[00:02:48] Lisa David Olson: Unless you picture the inflated ones, the little outfits and they're out shoveling snow. Oh not where you live, but it is snowing here in Minnesota at the moment.
[00:02:56] Damaged Parents: Oh, Minnesota. I every, every once in a while, I'll say it that way. And people are like, are you from there? No, no. I was born and raised in California and they're like, well, you have an accent. And I'm like, okay, thank you. What else can I say?
[00:03:14] Lisa David Olson: right. Don't say boat. all.
[00:03:17] Damaged Parents: right, or I could say no, but then they're wrong. And, and then it doesn't it, I think naturally evolve into that comedy.
Now you were an improv for a lot of years. So how does improv help you in these interesting dynamics of interviews? And if people say stuff where it's like, huh,
[00:03:38] Lisa David Olson: doing improvisation. is such a buzz and if you haven't done it, it's really cool to just explore it online and see what other people do. There's so many different variances. There's long form improv where people might put on a half hour or 45 minutes show. My style was more like. The show, whose line is it anyway?
So we still do corporate events and we'll go to a party and ask the audience, give me a place where two people might meet and will give me an unlikely sporting event. And generally I'll put two of whatever's thrown out. I'll put them together. And I do this for corporate parties and corporate training.
I love to do workshops and I promise I have a promise to not scare your introvert. It's not you with the red shirt in the back, trying to not be seen, come on up here. No, that does not bring joy to someone's day. There are days I don't want to be called out or called up. So there's ways that you can include the whole room without calling them out.
Just take their idea and play. So it's really about opening your mind and accepting that you are a purple dog for the next five minutes.
[00:04:46] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Now since we're purple dogs for five minutes here. You also had a struggle. So can you give us that struggle from the perspective of a purple dog?
[00:04:56] Lisa David Olson: Absolutely. My dog house was cold and dark and Parental doggos, we're not around one. Uh, the male version, my father dog was not really around and not really engaged, but very kind and very fun when he was around. And mama, dog had issues with going to the, uh, water bowl way too much. And in fact, it wasn't water in the water bowl.
So often in the. You didn't feel safe in your dog house or on your little blankie, you would be called out of the doghouse to clean up the yard mess that maybe you didn't even do. And you couldn't even go back. So as the version of a dog, it was definitely some parenting issues where the mother dog was self-medicating mental issues.
But I didn't know that for many, many years what was going on. I just knew that I couldn't have other dogs over to my dog house because you never knew what was going to happen in the night.
[00:05:52] Damaged Parents: Right, right. It's. From my perspective as another purple dog, that stat to be frustrating to live in. And I think that
as another dog, I would just want to come over and sniff your butt and lick your face.
[00:06:10] Lisa David Olson: You know, I think if anybody told me this morning that that's the sentence I would be told later in the day, I would say, no, it isn't, but here it is everybody. You heard it. Angela wants to sniff my dog, butt well, that's very, very nice of you. I never had any other younger dogs at that time that I could reach out to because As a kid, my friends had normal houses and their parents.
I never heard them fight. I never saw a parent drunk. And if I stayed over, we got to sleep through the night and that was pretty cool. So I knew what normal was. And I also knew that I didn't have that at home, so I couldn't have anybody over. And I had that disassociation of, I don't even remember what I would tell friends back then of why I couldn't have a sleep over.
I think we would do Hangouts. And then as, as it was getting dusk and stuff, then it was time to go.
[00:07:00] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think we've spent enough time as dogs, but we are because we are really getting into the struggle and I'm afraid. I will say just something else. Inappropriate
[00:07:10] Lisa David Olson: I think you covered out, you did great. Yes. Yes. High paw.
[00:07:15] Damaged Parents: paw.
So, I mean, you got to a point where you were contemplating suicide.
[00:07:23] Lisa David Olson: It's true. I'm number three out of four kids. And it's, it's so romantic when my mother wants said your dad and I must've had sex four times. Cause there's four of you. Whoa, happy Valentine's day dad. So it was very odd that way. And when I was about 15. I eventually was given the coveted, basement bedroom that my sister had abandoned because she got married at 19 to get out of the house.
Her escape was 19 years old, pregnant. Then married took on three step kids. No washer and dryer. Okay.
Good luck to you. sis And my second oldest, my brother would hide out in the camper and the driveway. Those pop-up old time campers, but he didn't pop it up. He just crawled in there and stayed in there for hours.
We would bring him snacks. That was his way of hiding from the alcoholism and the beatings. And then myself number three out of four. I, my escape, I, I think I was almost 16 and I recall having it was Darvocet. And at that time they were like these blue, long tablets. Don't remember how I got them. I have a lot of things that are just not, not at the ready for my memory, but sat on the bed.
And I knew that's it. Cause I know if I take these pills, I'm just probably going to get sick, fall asleep and be done I wanted out. I'm done. I can't live like this anymore. Being scared in the night, not knowing what was going to happen. And then in that moment, I recall seeing the glow from the other room and hearing laughter and I knew the television was on and hearing that sound.
I knew it was the Carol Burnett show and we didn't have any way to record shows back then. It was what, late seventies or something like that. And, or no. It would have been, it doesn't matter. I'm 56 now and I was a kid then, so I was like 15. And so whatever year it was, it was Carol Burnett. You couldn't record it.
And I knew in that moment, if I. Didn't go see the show. I'd miss it. And I pretended I was raised by Carol Burnett. I couldn't go miss my, my actual real mother, Carol Burnett. So I chose in that moment and I remember the blue is still being in my hand and I put things down and I went out and watched Carol Burnett because Harvey Korman is an uncle Tim Conway is an uncle.
And they just brought you into the fun. And that changed me because laughter raises our endorphins and it lowers our blood pressure and it brings you into the moment it's a connectivity and it's the ripple effect of joy goes through to the next interaction, whether you're at the store with your kid or your partner.
And it worked in that moment, I chose laughter and humor and have never turned away from it.
[00:10:06] Damaged Parents: Well, I think someone once said, if it wasn't funny, it would just be true. And I think there's some truth to that. Like, so I'm thinking you probably took that the comedy skill that you didn't even realize you were learning through watching the show and applied that in real life. I mean, did you really start to notice it after that experience?
[00:10:26] Lisa David Olson: I knew it before the experience?
because having an alcoholic mother who had so many highs and lows, that's how, in my later years I understood she was self-medicating. Whatever her mental issue would have would have been. And if you could make mother laugh, she wasn't hitting you.
[00:10:43] Damaged Parents: Mm.
[00:10:44] Lisa David Olson: Now it didn't always work, know your audience, everyone, but there were times you could turn something into a silly moment.
My kids have certainly done it to me.
They're there they're charming. I'm certainly not an alcoholic, nor would I ever beat them. I did stop that cycle. And, and if that's my purpose on earth, I'm I have achieved the best thing ever, but also it's that my, my kids also know to, to be funny in the moment, wins anything else and just to seek and find and share irony. Oh,
my gosh. I am. I'm so lucky that my guys are funny. I said, otherwise I wouldn't have kept you.. Good thing you're funny. I would have set you free.
[00:11:20] Damaged Parents: You're making me laugh because I'm thinking of a moment that just actually happened last night with my daughter, my oldest,
[00:11:27] Lisa David Olson: I want to hear
[00:11:28] Damaged Parents: it.
cracks me. So she comes in, I'm in a book club on the computer and, uh, she's she was like, well, something to the effect of, you need to focus on me because I was first. And you had me first, you, you this, so this book club is actually an afterthought.
You should've thought about that when you did it with dad, like so many years ago and I just died.
[00:11:57] Lisa David Olson: I love. How did you react?
[00:12:00] Damaged Parents: Are you kidding? She is my comedy girl. I just started laughing. My friend that was on the, you know, on the book club. They started laughing
[00:12:10] Lisa David Olson: they could hear it. Oh,
[00:12:12] Damaged Parents: I hadn't muted it.
[00:12:13] Lisa David Olson: Do you have other kids after her?
[00:12:15] Damaged Parents: I do, I have one after her, but I mean, this is the same
[00:12:18] Lisa David Olson: Did you tell her that's why you kept going
[00:12:20] Damaged Parents: no,
but that
[00:12:21] Lisa David Olson: That was a little bit better.
[00:12:22] Damaged Parents: That would have been a great comeback,
[00:12:24] Lisa David Olson: Oh, honey, I didn't stop with one. I had to get perfection. We kept going.
[00:12:28] Damaged Parents: right? Oh. And she would, she would probably look at me and be just dumbfounded in
[00:12:32] Lisa David Olson: Oh, well, keep that in your back pocket. No, she sounds adorable. And she knows that that's how She can get your attention. She's
bright.
[00:12:40] Damaged Parents: she is. And it, it really started, I remember a great moment where we were trying, she really, we enjoyed jokes. I enjoy jokes. I had actually taken it improv class when I'm in my, before I had kids. So twenties. And, and so I enjoy laughing. I enjoy finding the joy. And so I remember we were sitting at the table and we were trying to make up a joke about, uh, I don't remember.
We were just do an improv back and forth, and somehow it turned into like, uh, The turbo tutor sat on the fly and here's what the fly said.
[00:13:17] Lisa David Olson: The best punchline ever.
[00:13:19] Damaged Parents: a total five or six year old, joke like it just, but we were playing and ever since I think she knew that because we always would do that. So I think it's important to have that comedy,
[00:13:30] Lisa David Olson: You know, Besides the laugh, what you're doing with your family as you're building trust. And you're also, this is the big one, and this is for anyone with a family, a partner, a work place, You are teaching, listening skills. That's huge to listen to your answer. I have to make sure I don't copy it. I'm supposed to either build on it or change it or something like that.
Games with the family are huge. So I have a list of games that I love to do with my family and they're adults now. And it doesn't matter because we still will do that around the table or on car trips or via text and improv builds listening skills and trust. And so you are bright and your family will never forget that.
And they'll probably share it when they have kids too.
[00:14:15] Damaged Parents: Well, yeah, and I think it can bring joy to some really stressful situations because.
[00:14:20] Lisa David Olson: release. Yes.
[00:14:22] Damaged Parents: just, yeah. That, that tension builds up and then, and it's a good way in those difficult conversations and it kind of has, there's an art form to it though, too. I think in those difficult conversations, sometimes that tension just gets too high and then the release and then it's the coming back.
But I think so many people forget to come back.
Oh,
[00:14:42] Lisa David Olson: it's timing is everything because humor can absolutely come across as disrespectful or that you're not paying attention or that you're not taking the person seriously. So you do have to know your audience and know when it's appropriate. If in doubt, don't let it out.
[00:14:57] Damaged Parents: Okay, so back to you though, and that's true. I love that. But. You you left home early and then you learned improv, or at least you got involved in an improv group started learning improv. I'm assuming, because I don't know anyone's life , that goes smoothly all the time that there were some ups and downs.
How did improv help you and, or did it help you weather those ups and downs? Maybe a little easier than if you hadn't have had improv to lean on.
[00:15:29] Lisa David Olson: Uh, instead of following my sister's suit by getting pregnant and married and, or my brother's idea of hiding and my younger brother was pretty protected. I left home at 17. I didn't look back. I never went back home. I quit school in high school, and I never shared that until my book came out a couple of years ago, I was scared to death.
And guess what? Nobody cares nobody cares.
Just share your story.
[00:15:54] Damaged Parents: No, we don't.
[00:15:55] Lisa David Olson: Nobody gives a crap about your story. And I thought that had to be my hidden secret. You look at any application now and it says high school or GED. It doesn't matter. I did finish that. I did take some college and I'm proud of that, but at the same time, it, that wasn't the big deal about my book.
So that's, what's kind of funny what we think is hanging. Let, just forgive yourself. Let it go.
[00:16:17] Damaged Parents: It's like, as soon as you owned it, it was released.
[00:16:21] Lisa David Olson: As soon as I was brave enough, just be brave enough to say, well, this is my story dammit. And if, if you don't like it, it's okay. You don't have to, but if you do cool, let's hang. But finding improvisation was down the road.
I, I did get married in my twenties, had, uh, uh, didn't have kids until my thirties in when I was 30. So I went way opposite of my sis. And and there's no right or wrong. I'm just stating it was kind of funny cause she had her freedom as I was just starting my young parenting, phase. So finding improv was really during my second marriage and doing some shows and then I. I was in a singing group. And one of the ladies said, you should try out for this improv troupe I'm in. I think you, you can sing. And I think you're funny. You should do that in my head is so big. I'm not going to fit through the door. And then I was like, I think I will. And she goes, Yeah.
we need another female.
I was like, Whoa. Okay. Don't get so inflated. I do have girl parts and I am free on Thursday. So I went and I tried out, I lived through it and I ended up running and owning the troop eventually after about eight years or so of being in it. And so. was a sketch comedy and improvisation and song parodies, all celebrating the town that we all lived in, which has lacrosse Wisconsin along the Mississippi gorgeous area.
And it, it just was, and you said, what drew me to it? I didn't know it then, but it became my family. Family is who you choose. You've got that uncle, that's going to be an idiot at Thanksgiving. Do not invite him and never ever say the words to me, but he's family. I don't know why I became Italian there, but is the family?
Yes. But, and no that person should not be in your circle. If it makes you have hives or an upset stomach or gives you the tutes. Don't bring uncle Frank,
no uncle frank.
[00:18:16] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Farts would be off putting
[00:18:17] Lisa David Olson: Exactly now I want pudding, but the thing is, it became my family. And That's where I found trust in having your back. When I entered a scene and maybe I wasn't sewing, engaged and forgot what character I am.
My co-helper Tracy always had me, my teammates always had me and we had the same people in the troop for decades and I didn't rotate people in and out. It just didn't work that way because we were cohesive. We could right now, if they came over, we could absolutely put on a one-hour show without even rehearsing.
I just love it.
that's my
family.
[00:18:54] Damaged Parents: that's beautiful. That's it? And now I'm thinking that in that safety net of the troop is probably when you felt safe enough that you were able to start processing everything else or had you processed it before you got to that.
[00:19:09] Lisa David Olson: No, humor's my escape. I could be funny. And then whatever you ask me, I'm not comfortable answering or here's a big one. I don't remember.
Whoa. Let's just be funny. You know what I could do, I can pull out my fake cigarette and I can become Bev because then you're going to forget that. I don't know the answer to that.
So Bev is my agent and she smokes become characters. And you distract the art of deflection, but I didn't know I was doing that. I do know that now I had a therapist say, do you think you always have to be on. It's like, damn, just punch me in the belly and let's be done with this.
[00:19:46] Damaged Parents: Yeah. was that like this humbling? I mean, was it a gut, you know, that gut wrenching feeling and in that moment, was it like, oh no, that's just true.
[00:19:57] Lisa David Olson: I was called out and paying for it.
[00:20:00] Damaged Parents: Right. Like, I think sometimes those are those moments where it's like, okay. I need to look at this because this is, It
[00:20:09] Lisa David Olson: Oh, yes. That stuck with me. That's been years ago that stuck with me. And I've also had a doctor say that. Do you think you always have to be funny?
[00:20:16] Damaged Parents: of course I do. I mean,
[00:20:18] Lisa David Olson: Yeah. It's, it's who I am doc. And I'm also paying you so shut up.
I did not tell them to shut up. I own that. And I did take that in. That was very, you know, if I'm at work and we're, it's a by day right now, I work at a police department.
So it's yeah I'm not like that on the phone once, I did, however, tell off a telemarketer today and I'm very proud of that.
[00:20:40] Damaged Parents: yes. I would love to hear that today. Today you have one already.
[00:20:43] Lisa David Olson: Oh, all the time. Yeah, it was the scam, the new one. It's an automated call that states, we are activating your Amazon purchase for a new iPhone for over $1,200. If you did that, do nothing.
But if you didn't press one, well, I press one and the person has a heavy accent. You can hear the call center in the background. And she's telling me, give me your phone number. And I gave a, a fake phone number and she had a tone with me and said, that is not your phone number. And I said, did you know what?
Your parents are not proud of you? And she called me the B word and hung up on me
[00:21:20] Damaged Parents: That's beautiful.
[00:21:21] Lisa David Olson: because to swear at them, it's just stupid. Why do that? Why B why get that in your, just tell them their parents are not proud of them and that that's a better one.
[00:21:28] Damaged Parents: That is good. That is good. I've got to know though. I mean, you experienced all this trauma when you were younger. I mean, and now you're working at a police station answering calls or what have you, what is that like having had that history of trauma?
[00:21:44] Lisa David Olson: The beautiful thing is now that I am mid 50. So much has changed. And that's why a portion of the proceeds from my book goes to the family and children's center in Lacrosse, Wisconsin, because they have programs in place like cornerstone to interview kids and make them feel safe that they can share like reporting a teacher, you know, when classes weren't in person.
Many many, many kids suffered because the ones that aren't eating, the ones that aren't clean, no one was there. Teachers couldn't tell over zoom as much as they could in person. You know what Billy seems disengaged today. So knowing that things are better today. It is, of course I'm, I'm in that kind of a job that wants to help and things.
And I feel like I'm giving back, although it is my paying job, it's also my choice of field. I've been in the healthcare field and I've been in this field for many years and it is part of like, oh my gosh, is everybody okay? But I don't take it home. I do have many ways to not bring it home. There's a lot of little rituals in my driveway before I walk in the house.
And that's the important thing is to know. More systems are in place to keep kids safe now. And what happened to me would not have gone as far, if those systems were in place back then when I was a kid.
[00:22:58] Damaged Parents: So being at the police department actually helps you feel more comfortable that, and of course the proceeds from your book. going to the kids. I mean, all of that together helps you feel like you're providing some sort of a safety net for someone else maybe.
[00:23:16] Lisa David Olson: It does it, we all want to leave a legacy. And that was the point of me bringing my book out. Like I said, I was sharing my story. It's not earth shattering by any means, but I'm sharing. I'm not teaching. I'm just sharing what I learned. And it has so many highs and so many lows. I am the queen of pranks.
And I share a lot of those. My children grew up helping me with pranks. They still do. Uh, they roll their eyes, but inside they always share things with me. So that spreading of humor is what I want my legacy to be. And also that I did not emulate the way I was raised. I did not keep that cycle going. And my children knew at a very young age that there was alcoholism on both sides of the family.
They know that I was never protective of that. I was respectful and gentle in the way I told them. But when your kids ask questions, that's when they're ready to hear certain parts of it, whether it be about sex or strangers or drugs, alcohol,
[00:24:11] Damaged Parents: Like the age appropriate version of a story.
[00:24:14] Lisa David Olson: correct age appropriate version. You're right.
And if they're asking, they're ready to hear something of that, and that should better to come from mom or dad.
[00:24:21] Damaged Parents: Right. I mean, where else are they going to go? do I want them to go to the kid down the street or the internet? Or, I mean, even, even so, I mean, have you seen TikTok
have you seen even on reels that my kids come up to me and, these people, they think they're funny, but there's no caption on there that says this is not real.
There's nothing that says, and then they think it's real, that you can do something that this is appropriate. And I think that that can be very scary. I know it's scary for me, like is we jokingly, uh, my cousin and I were cooking last week and it's like, they're all lies you know, cause he was looking up videos on YouTube.
And so we made one and it's like, They forgot to tell us some ingredient because it was not, it didn't even look right. Like the coloring, the thickness, you know, so we had to go figure it out. And I think that's sad. I mean, I can see where it would be funny to someone, but for us, we were hungry.
We just wanted to eat.
[00:25:24] Lisa David Olson: That's why God invented calling out for pizza.
[00:25:27] Damaged Parents: Right.
[00:25:29] Lisa David Olson: No, but that's, I hadn't thought about it in the recipe world. That's not funny or amusing because to make the video and leave something out. If I can't see the outcome, that's not fun for me. You know, I was, , if I'm doing that to you, I'd want to see you miss the chicken and chicken pepper cache or
[00:25:44] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Well, and they do it in all kinds of things. So on, I know on Tik TOK or they'll like, oh yeah, you can put, I can't remember what it was like an onion in a bag and hit it with a meat mallet and it will come out perfectly, you know, like little things that then people try and it's like, well, that wasn't true.
You know? Funny, you know, it's like, oh yeah. But at the same time, what about those with IDD, intellectual, developmental disabilities that actually believe or go try and, it's just, to me, that's not a loving thing to do.
[00:26:18] Lisa David Olson: No, no. And, uh, let's think about karma, everyone don't be doing that stuff.
[00:26:24] Damaged Parents: Well, and I think with comedy, really, what I get from you is that brings in an element of love that brings in an element of acceptance of sometimes the worst in us, but then we can laugh at it.
[00:26:37] Lisa David Olson: it. is. And it's also, my style is not rated R it's corporate clean. I love to go to the edge and not cross the line, an audience member. When I say, give me a occupation we always get, and this is our longstanding joke. Someone yells out proctologist every show that in itself is funny. We never take that idea.
[00:26:59] Damaged Parents: No.
[00:27:00] Lisa David Olson: Cause then where do you go? And I'm no prude again. I work with police. I have five shared sons. I'm not a prude I can talk it with the best of them, but it won't be on a stage or on a show or anything that's recorded on purpose.
I think you again, know your room, but I know in my day job, I have to be able to hold my own and I can, I'm not offended when someone, just recently I was called the B word because they didn't get their way.
It's not about me. So one of the best things I can do is, like I said, I decompress when I come home, I do that in my morning coming into work. This is not about me. I do my part. When they're angry, they just have to vent or elders have to be heard. They turn in that scam call and they want you to call that number and get that guy.
Well, Mrs. Johansen, it's through a computer. They aren't really calling you. It's so sad for elders because they will answer the phone and want to help. Okay. Here's my bank number, everybody. Go tell your grandma's don't do that.
[00:27:57] Damaged Parents: Yeah, right, right. Or like for me, my mom even,
[00:28:00] Lisa David Olson: gullible. Yes, because they believe I'm going to help you. You called my house. You must know me.
[00:28:05] Damaged Parents: Right right now because you're working in law enforcement or is there deep briefing for you as a, as someone taking the calls and things like that at the end of the shift, I mean, is, are there things in place to help law enforcement really process what happened during the shift?
[00:28:24] Lisa David Olson: When there's a high end incident, there was a very physical incident that harmed a couple of people and. neighbors came out and happened to see that all happening that was put into place a very quick, session of making sure everybody's okay. And get the list and talk through it. And that was all that's always put in place.
As far as workers go. I think they can only hire if they know you have that. I really do. It's like being. Someone who could take to a stage, you either have it, or you don't. Some people are good on the phone. Some people would choke and not be able to speak. So I think it's through that hiring process.
That's definitely how you get through, but I'd say the humor is our debriefing and knowing that we can go to each other, I can go to the officer's about an intake I took for them. I'm not an officer I'm in records and dispatch but you just, you kind of vent to each other and talk through it.
But I think anybody in that field knows it's not personal or you're not going to last very long.
[00:29:20] Damaged Parents: Yeah, so it sounds like not taking it on as your own because someone else is choosing to behave that way. Doesn't mean that that's what you are. You're not the B word. You're not this and kind of going okay, well, that's great, but that's yours and you can keep it.
[00:29:37] Lisa David Olson: it. is. Yeah. If I have the opportunity, like to that person, I, just said, I'm only here to help you, but when you do that, I don't feel like helping you anymore. So if you want to call me back and we'll discuss it, go ahead. So she didn't get what she wanted.
[00:29:49] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:29:50] Lisa David Olson: But
I gave her three options and that's when I was called a name because I didn't give her what she wanted.
So it's that when you guys make choices and then you gotta fix it, you can't get angry at other people trying to help you fix it,
[00:30:03] Damaged Parents: Well, yeah, because there's, yeah. I mean, isn't that just the thing though, sometimes we, I mean, I think all of us have probably gone through that position in our life We've made a mistake or we've done something that didn't work out the way we want, and then it's wanting to blame everyone else and it's their also their job to fix it.
And yet we're choosing it again and again, and again.
[00:30:23] Lisa David Olson: You got a parking ticket that stinks. That's $20. I was out to eat. I did no harm. How dare you? Give me a parking ticket. Well, it's not personal. You broke an ordinance. So now just take care of it. Don't do it again.
[00:30:37] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Well, I love that you're chuckling about this. I mean, I just want to close out because what I'm seeing is boundaries,
[00:30:43] Lisa David Olson: Yes,
[00:30:44] Damaged Parents: like, and almost like you can use humor and use joy to set those boundaries with love.
[00:30:50] Lisa David Olson: I liked the way you said that I liked that a lot and that's, that is the way had been living. That's how I get through. And that's how I look forward to getting up in the morning, knowing that it's my choice. It's about choices, not excuses, and go on with the day, knowing that you're making choices. And if not roll with it.
And what's your next best thought?
[00:31:09] Damaged Parents: Yeah, because we don't have to believe every single thought we have.
[00:31:13] Lisa David Olson: No,
[00:31:14] Damaged Parents: I mean, I could be in big trouble if I did. I mean, we'd still be purple dogs.
[00:31:18] Lisa David Olson: we could be purple dogs, but we would be the cutest most well-behaved purple dogs.
in the whole play yard yeah.
[00:31:25] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And we'd be making everybody laugh.
[00:31:29] Lisa David Olson: Absolutely. I
[00:31:32] Damaged Parents: Oh, isn't that? The truth? Well, everybody, this is Lisa David Olson. Her book is Laughs on Wry you can find her on Instagram, at Lisa David Olson. she's on apple podcast, Stranger Connections. She's on LinkedIn, Facebook, just check out our website. You'll get everywhere. She is. I think. I'm pretty sure.
[00:31:54] Lisa David Olson: I think so find me.
[00:31:57] Damaged Parents: She's a hoot to talk to and I'm really grateful. I had a chance, not only to just do some improv with you, but that we could really dish it back and forth a little bit and also tell your story at the same time.
[00:32:08] Lisa David Olson: And that is one thing I'd like to mention is that everyone does improv you know, It doesn't mean you take a microphone and a spotlight. It, you could be a teacher answering a student, you could be a mom answering your child. You can be a partner answering your partner and so on and so on. And so on. When you think in the moment and you say, I'm not sure what I would do, but if I did know I would do this.
Except that you don't always know, but be brave enough to step forward and try.
[00:32:34] Damaged Parents: Oh, what a perfect ending that like, I want to quote that right now. Thank you so much for being on the show, Lisa.
[00:32:42] Lisa David Olson: Thank you for the opportunity, Angela. I appreciate it. And I love your show.
[00:32:46] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of relatively damaged by damaged parents. We have really enjoyed talking to Lisa about how she learned to use humor. Good bad. We will see. We especially liked when she told her story from the perspective of a purple dog. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Twitter. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then
