Episode 60: Memoirs of a Lunatic: A Fantastic Journey Across the Sea of Consciousness Into the Abyss of Synchronicity

Sadhu

Sadhu helps inspired people & organizations rapidly quantum leap their creative potential, EQ and all-level life results through the new paradigm of Heart Intelligence.

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Podcast Transcript:

Damaged Parents: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where delusional defenseless week people come to learn. Maybe. Just maybe we're all a little bit damaged.  

Someone once told me it's safe to assume 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than. Like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damage self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.

Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole.

Those who stared directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them. Let's hear from another hero. Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them.

Today, we're going to talk with Sadhu. He has many roles in his life, husband, father, son, brother, and more. We'll talk about how he suffered years of abuse and struggled to find his way and how he found health and healing let's talk

 Sadhu we are so glad to have you on Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. You find joy in inspiring people and organizations to rapidly quantum leap, their creative potential, their emotional intelligence and all level life results through your paradigm of heart intelligence. Thank you for coming on the show today.

Sadhu: [00:02:19] My pleasure. Thanks for having me, Angela.

Damaged Parents: [00:02:21] Yeah I'm just going to jump right in. Cause that's just who I am and how I roll. What is heart intelligence?

Sadhu: [00:02:29] I'm glad you asked. And so  it's somewhat of a new paradigm for me relatively I'm 52. And so, I've been studying the heart  deeply for about the past five years and the neuroscience of it not just sort of reading and studying the science of it, but actually the application of it, the experience in my own body and how it's affected my own emotions and the riff in the results in my life.

 I've been super fascinated by it. And and so it's not necessarily my paradigm, although it's a paradigm that really definitely affects all the other paradigms in my life, but I feel it's a new paradigm in awareness, I feel it's a new paradigm on the planet, really that I feel it has the potential to really definitely a quantum leap and individual's life and their results and their emotional intelligence.

And then obviously for organizations as well, but for anyone in any group of people that can apply. Being able to focus through their heart in a very simple way. Actually, I feel it has profound benefits on anybody and everybody that does it. And so I, do feel that it is definitely a new paradigm and I feel it will be more in a ubiquitous paradigm kind of moving forward.

There'll be some sort of a tipping point and more people will embrace this because it's so transformative, so easy and so immediate.

Damaged Parents: [00:03:47] when I think of heart intelligence and what I hear you say, it's the feeling of the heart and maybe what's true on an even deeper emotional level. It's not the physical mechanical workings of the heart..

Sadhu: [00:04:05] It is actually both That's what's so profound. It is literally the heart beating inside of your chest. That is the intelligence that I'm talking about. It is kind of metaphoric and let's say maybe spiritually poetic  however, that's what blows my mind and what has really blown open my life really is the actual physical heart the power of it.

And that's, kind of like a new paradigm because in the nineties, apparently. Neuroscientists are discovered that there are neurons inside the heart, that function. Exactly like neurons inside the cranial brain. They think they feel, they sent an, have a memory of their own, just like the cells in our cranial brain, in our head.

And so, that means basically, like when we feel something, we're literally feeling someone through our heart. We're feeling them first. It's quantifiable. It's like research bears this out. When we feel something from someone we're not picking up their thought waves, we're picking up their heart waves.

And that goes for everyone, whether it's good or bad or left or right, or up or down, that's what we're feeling. And that's what we feel first. And then it sends the message to our brain.

Damaged Parents: [00:05:10] That's really thought provoking.

Sadhu: [00:05:13] It definitely is.

Damaged Parents: [00:05:14] Yeah, because I'm thinking, we use that language, when people break up with a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a significant other or partner, their heart is broken. Right. Or that's what is said.  And it almost there's that sensation right there. I'm even putting my hand on my heart as I'm trying to come up with the words to describe that emotion.

And so I think what you're saying is by recognizing what's happening in the heart, there's perhaps a way to reach a higher level of emotional intelligence. Just by listening.

Sadhu: [00:05:52] But literally focusing in your heart and feeling it.  And uh, the heart is the strongest oscillator in the body.  Because everything is sort of like somewhat electric let's say, or magnetic, you know, each cell has got a magnetic pulse, or organ of our brain has a magnetic pulse. Everything that's alive in our body, our body itself has a magnetic pulse.

The heart is 5,000 times stronger than the brain magnetically. That's why we feel like you can measure it at skills about eight feet out. So we feel you can measure heart waves, literal heart waves eight feet out from someone. And so, you have the intelligence of those neurons that think, feel, and sense and have a memory of their own.

And so, when you start to think and kind of process life, problems, joys, challenges, solutions, you any kind of drive them through the filter of the heart. It enhances everything because the brain is brilliant. It is amazing. But when we take, what's amazing about the brain and we actually kind of merge it together with the heart that's the heart intelligence,

Damaged Parents: [00:06:58] Yeah, that is fascinating. And I mean, as you're talking about this, I am remembering a gentlemen that I had a conversation with that had heart surgery and came out and said he was just different and he's certain something happened. I don't know that it's been proven or quantifiable or any of that, but just based on what you're saying, An injury to the heart muscle could make someone feel different.

Sadhu: [00:07:28] Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Because really Culturally, let's say maybe even globally not every human being has the habit of thinking that it's all in the head,  indigenous cultures, some spiritual paths and all that, that, that spiritual poetry of like, living a heart-centered world and all that stuff.

And it is spiritual and metaphoric it's even in the Bible. I mean, Solomon said, as a person thinketh in their heart, therefore they are. And that's literal, it's actually literal,  that, because the heart has that intelligence and that strength there is, HeartMath Institute has been studying this for a long time.

And it's quantifiable, there is such a thing as heart, brain coherence. That's a state of being. When the heart and the brain literally synchronize and they become coherent, which means instead of the two parts kind of working in doing what they do, they're functioning together, they become coherent. And that, that creates a higher heart rate variability, which is a measure of health and wellbeing.

But in that state the DHEA, which is kind of like a growth hormone or an aging hormone it, it jumps up a hundred percent in that state. And when you do that, you get into that state every day. Those hormones will increase by 100%. And that's basically for health and longevity of the telomeres in the brain that are also measured kind of health and wellbeing.

They lengthen because this state can lengthen the telomeres of our DNA.

Um,

Damaged Parents: [00:08:52] And the telomeres, just to, to confirm what I think is true, what I think they are the telomeres. If I remember correctly determine the lifespan of the cell and the longer the telomeres are the longer that lifespan of the cell is.

Sadhu: [00:09:09] That's right.

Damaged Parents: [00:09:10] Okay.

Sadhu: [00:09:11] You can literally prolong your life.

Damaged Parents: [00:09:13] Right so how does someone get into, because it also sounds like what you're explaining is almost a state of flow or is that different? Yeah.

Sadhu: [00:09:22] Nope, it's the same. Yeah.

And some people reach a state of flow by let's say playing music, being with their children, jogging playing basketball, those sorts of things uh, surfing and it happens. Organically. And so you can trigger that deep flow state, which might even have more benefits than kind of like a typical surfing flow state.

Let's say, because the way that I've learned it. I've learned it in a couple of ways. I came across Tibetan Buddhism a few years ago in my path, and that was a very spiritual metaphoric kind of filter of the heart intelligence. It is based in also practical techniques and things like that do activate the heart.

But it's not as let's say the direct is kind of like the neuroscience, like put your hands on your heart and just feel your heartbeat and something like that. And so those kind of filters of focus together, anybody can get into a state of heart-brain coherence in probably less than three minutes, just by putting your hands in your heart.

Kind of, you know, and this is the work that I've done in not just the work that I do for others, but this has been the work that has made me the better me. This may be the better husband, the better dad, the better me that I can get up and feel good with in the world. You know what I mean? The me that goes to bed grateful for a beautiful day, inspired waking up the next day for another gift of life.

It's definitely the one thing that has made me a much more of a joyful. Just inspired human being in myself and it's, so I do that in my work and I have meditations and things that do that and, anybody can do it and you can hit that state and under three minutes, for sure, just by three simple things.

Three simple things that anybody can do hands on the heart, feel yourself breathing, and you kind of take the awareness that you can feel your heart as if your heart is breathing. And then if you or anybody reflects on the past 24 hours of their life, and you just feel what you're most grateful for in the past 24 hours, you will hit that state.

Damaged Parents: [00:11:22] I heard you say something really interesting reflect on the last 24 hours and think of the gratitude that you had for that 24 hours. And I think it's really interesting because so many practices talk about, I mean, therapists, coaches spiritual gurus, religious, there's always this talk about gratitude and I'm thinking maybe.

When we're grateful we can get closer to because of what you're saying and how the heart works. That being in that state of gratitude actually helps us get into that state of flow and helps line up the heart. Mind that you're talking about.

Sadhu: [00:12:01] Absolutely gratitude in and of itself has all these amazing benefits. It increases neuro density in your brain, which does lead to higher emotional intelligence. It activates sort of the optimism filter of our awareness. And so the more that we are grateful, the more that becomes a default.

And when you take that and you take it literally through feeling it through your heart, that's what just, that's why I say it's a quantum leap. Because just feeling gratitude is amazing. Having a group out of gratitude journal is amazing when you really put your hands on your heart and you sit still and quiet and close your eyes and really go in and feel that gratitude and that appreciation  it really compounds.

The benefits and the possibilities of what gratitude can do for us, because the heart and the brain literally sink up so powerfully and you're in such a deep, rich state of awareness and presence. And so all the neurochemistry just goes off the charts, the neural pathways, are starting to wire in that as a default, more you do it.

Damaged Parents: [00:13:05] That's fascinating. And I'm thinking even if like, let's say someone lost an arm or lost both arms or, they didn't even have that ability that just even by closing their eyes and visualizing the heart, that connection. Would still manifest that same type of response.

Sadhu: [00:13:23] Definitely. Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:13:25] Yeah.

Sadhu: [00:13:25] it literally awakens the sensitivity of the heart and, I've studied meditation for a good 20 years and not just as a hobby. I mean, it's been my life for 20 years research reading. I've been to the top of the mountains in Tibet to study with, meditation, masters.

And I sat with Jon Kabat Zinn, the founder of mindfulness meditation here in the States. And I've been a practitioner myself as well. And um, in my own experience, I've found that the cognitive sort of meditation, which is very typical. I mean, most people generally think of meditating as closing their eyes and focusing with their head.

And I know it from personal experience. I did that for many years. Most people don't think when I'm going to meditate, I'm going to focus. I'm going to focus as if my heart is breathing. Most people just don't do that. We're not guided to do that, and when we do that, that's what awakens the heart's intelligence.

And you can do it by simply just being sensitive of your physical heart and your chest, whether your hands are there or not. It just, I find it helpful to really go there with the hands, if one has hands and can do that, it's just helpful, but you could do it without them, for sure.

Damaged Parents: [00:14:31] Yeah. And I hadn't thought of it either. I mean, when I think of meditation, I think of closing my eyes, maybe counting my breath. I hadn't taken it to that next step of placing it, you know, that heart step.

Sadhu: [00:14:46] Yup.

Damaged Parents: [00:14:47] So with that said, as this show is about struggle and you just gave us a tool. It sounds like that in the midst of a struggle

well, you've given us a tool. That's a very real tool that can help us find that, that peace within a struggle.

Sadhu: [00:15:06] Yeah, absolutely. And I've found in my life of all the substance super esoteric stuff, Tibetan, Buddhist, meditations, Kundalini, yoga meditations that were super esoteric and, third eye and Shakras and all this sort of stuff. And the simplicity of putting your hands on your heart or feeling as if your heart is breathing and being grateful for the past 24 hours of your life,

 that has a greater effect actually then most of the meditations that I've done in my life, and there are studies done, heart math, quantified it, there are people that could be master meditators that have been meditating for decades then will not get the same benefits as someone who's never meditated a day in their life, puts their hands on their hearts and gets into that positive emotional state would get in three minutes, but any  master meditator might not get that benefit.

Damaged Parents: [00:15:55] Yeah. And I'm wondering, were you surprised when you figured this out?

Sadhu: [00:16:01] Oh, totally. Like it was a revelation because I had done so much stuff. In that I came from a lot of struggle in my life, and I mean, I still somewhat struggle with it today, but I've found this to be my main go-to tool that just jacks up my joy and my ability to kind of really weather the storm of my own internal stuff or circumstances to come at me.

Because I was so sort of challenged. I was so hard working to figure out how to overcome my rage and my despair and my quiet. And, you know, low self esteem. I wore a smile to the world, but inside I was crying and, I wanted to overcome that. So I just dove into whatever I could. And for years, sometimes Angela, I would, go and just meditate for two and a half hours a day, every day for years on end, because I was so determined because I did really experience a lot of trauma in my life, and so when that happened and I came across the information.  It was such a revelation for me because I had that meditative experience and I was so kind of tired of all the busy-ness of it all and the complexity of it all. And and I was craving the simplicity. And when that clicked, the simplicity clicked like, wow, just with my hands and my heart.

I don't need to blast open my third eye. I don't need to meditate on my Chakras  all I have to do to have this profound experience is to just feel what I love about my life in the past 24 hours and really feel that people that I love and just feel that love and be in that love for, you know, 5, 10, 15 minutes.

I'm good.

Damaged Parents: [00:17:39] Which gives you that much more time to spend with people you love and care about.

Sadhu: [00:17:46] Right. And it's super relative and specifically uniquely tailored to every individual because everyone has a circle of people that they love. You can put your hands on your heart, you can feel it. You can feel the love from them flowing to you, your love flowing to them. And that's a real visceral experience it's happening in your body, in your mind And your psychology and your neurochemistry, and it's reliable because it's yours and it can happening for anyone in a couple minutes.

Damaged Parents: [00:18:15] And no one can take that away,

Sadhu: [00:18:17] Right. And it gets stronger every single time you do it, the reserves and the resource and that, the benefit deepens and grows and compounds every time you do it.

Damaged Parents: [00:18:27] Which is amazing. So you had said you had been through significant trauma growing up and that you still have struggles today. Now I'm thinking that as you learned the meditation and all those tools, and like you were saying your third eye and doing all these chakras, that those were not, useful in those moments that they helped along the journey.

 But maybe you can give us an example of a struggle wherein you were able to use the heart intelligence and what transitioned for you throughout that process. You know what that journey was like.

Sadhu: [00:19:06] well, I had a deep revelation because I had a lot of I had a lot of struggle with my dad. In my life my dad, God bless his soul. I love the guy. You know what I mean? He had a very traumatic childhood and as I can understand that, and I can have a concept and sort of see that, however, my personal experience with my father was quite heavy.

There was a lot of physical abuse, a lot of emotional abuse and mental abuse. And so my relationship with my dad and my father figure was challenging. And so as an adult male, I had a lot of rage and a lot of sadness because of that stuff that I carried in me and I would direct it towards others.

And when I would lash out and you know how to handle my emotions and I would, harm people and things and harm myself. And so as I did start to go on this sort of spiritual journey of self healing I latched on to male oriented paths. And so I would listen to male teachers because I lacked that guidance from my own father.

And so I was seeking that. And so I kind of in a way, transferred. Looking up for a father figure to a spiritual path that was sort of male oriented for me. So I really took the male teachers as authority figures and kind of gave myself over well, if what I'm doing falls out of line with what the teacher said, then it's not good.

And I need to follow what the teacher said so ultimately in a way I was still giving away my power

Damaged Parents: [00:20:30] Yeah.

Sadhu: [00:20:31] Following the rules of the male teacher, because I was looking for that, that validation and that then that  that approval from my daddy. Right. And so when I realized that I was doing that in my spiritual journeys, and all I had to do was like, when I started to feel my heart and feel myself, I realized that I didn't have to be validated by anyone.

Not my dad, not a spiritual path, not even God, necessarily. I just really needed to feel me and just have permission to be me without having to do anything to get love or feel loved. And that was the big, biggest revelation for me. And because when I felt into my heart and I did simple practices, that's the awareness and the insight that came, I was like, aha, wow.

I was searching all that time to heal myself. I was still looking outside of myself for, you know, validation and I don't really need that validation. I just need to feel how powerful I am. And that I'm okay. And that I'm whole, I'm not broken. I don't need to be fixed. I don't need anybody's approval.

And that came because of the simplicity of just going into my heart and feeling gratitude. It didn't happen the first time it happened after a while of doing it, after, at least to, a few weeks or months or maybe even a year doing that, then it finally dawned on me because of that.

 Simplicity and the real authentic power that gives someone. That's what it gave me. 

Damaged Parents: [00:22:02] That's fantastic and really beautiful.

Sadhu: [00:22:04] Yeah, truly, truly empowering, more empowering than anything else I ever did on the spiritual journey up to that point of just being simple, feeling into the gratitude and appreciation for my life, for what was real in my life. Not out there, not somewhere in space or, just the simple day-to-day like what I loved about it. That's what was the revelation for me

Damaged Parents: [00:22:26] Now was part of that loving that part of yourself that was angry and was rageful. It sounds like a lot of it was shifting, but throughout that process, how did you see that shift? Or what did you start recognizing first?

 Sadhu: [00:22:43] That I was vulnerable and it was okay to be vulnerable. Because I feel like there was so much, so much pain that I didn't know how to process, like it, maybe I still don't because as a young child, you know, or whatever, from zero to three, I have no language to kind of, even if I could do therapy today and say, what, what would you say, if you could speak to your par- I didn't have language to say, Hey, that doesn't feel good.

I just didn't feel good with that kind of coming at me. And so a lot of that stuff came up as an insight and awareness. And so, it was more just kind of personal, like, I just was able to see clearly patterns that I wasn't able to see before in myself, even though I was, I was a spiritual teacher for a lot of people actually, and it was not like that wasn't relevant or that was, that's just negated and it didn't matter.

It doesn't count everything counts, it's just the simplicity of that heart brain coherence for me, gave me so much clear insight that I could see the patterns more clearly. Even the patterns that I had when I really felt good about all the spiritual practices that I was doing, I could see through where I was still kind of hiding out.

And I kind of was able to see that and not over judge myself for it, which that's what I had done in the past. I'd kind of repeated what my parents did for me in their lack of awareness. God bless them. You know what I mean? To kind of the judgment and the criticism. I took it on myself and I was judging and criticizing myself.

Oh, you need to be more spiritually pure. You need to do more of those meditations. You need to keep going cause you're not pure enough. And when I was able to kind of sit in my heart and be empowered that way. Yeah. I saw that dynamic in myself and I was like, ah, I can just let that go. I'm not a bad the person I don't need to do more to be loved.

I'm just loved as I am. And that's beautiful. And I can love myself and embrace myself in my shortcomings and I can also embrace my beautiful strengths and continue to grow those. And that's what I'll do. That's what it gave me the awareness to be able to do it myself.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:45] Right. I really love that you didn't have to change to love yourself that all of a sudden, it seems like you. Just you were, I heard you say I am and I am okay. It's not like you had to be more than that. Quote, unquote, I am.

Sadhu: [00:25:03] Yeah. it kind of snuck in. It's the simplicity of it snuck in. And that was the big aha revelation for me was like, wow. Wow. That simplicity is so profound and it's more profound than anything that I ever did in the past. And it gets me to a sense of empowerment faster and deeper than anything.

And I see it happening for people that I work with,  th the meditations are very simple. They're not complicated at all, the five-year-old could do it,

Damaged Parents: [00:25:32] Yeah. And it's not hours of meditation.

Sadhu: [00:25:35] No, that's the thing. You do not have to go and sit on the mountain and like sit with a Zen master. It's like, you can actually master meditation. faster and deeper doing this than pretty much anything else.

Because one thing I did learn from the Tibetans one of the first experiences I had where I was kind of really going into understanding more about it. The teacher sat down and. And said, well, before we get into how to meditate, let's ask yourself why, why do you want to meditate? And why do you want to get out of it?

And that's been very helpful for me. And what, what do I want, what do most people want? They want to feel better. And so what I've learned Angela, is that when you do just put your hands on your heart or feel into your heart and breathe your heart, like your heart's breathing and you kind of kick in that awareness, and then you go into an intentional, proactive, sustained positive emotion that heartbreak coherence happens.

It happens for anyone that does it. And because that happens, the optimal sort of functioning of the brain and the heart and the whole body is off the charts. It is off the charts. It's one of the most powerful things any of us can do for a health ever. Is

Damaged Parents: [00:26:46] It's and it really sounds like that. And I'm just thinking to myself, anyone who feels like they're at the bottom of their personal crevice, and cause you said that they can get there probably in three minutes, and yet I also heard 10 to 15 minutes a day of just focusing that if you're in your crevice and your, or that black hole or whatever, someone chooses to call it, that just doing this for a short period of time, it's not going to fix the struggle.

It is going to help maybe give you a wider vision of the possibilities,

Sadhu: [00:27:21] Yeah, it's definitely also very powerful reset button.

Damaged Parents: [00:27:25] A reset button. 

Sadhu: [00:27:26] You know, it'd be a pause  in any kind of darkness or struggle, even if someone can't see the big aha right, then it will give them relief. For sure. And, I mean, you could ask anybody, like, what are you grateful for in the past 24 hours? You kind of find something, it could be minuscule, but at least there's something.

And not kind of takes the habit pattern of, finding the fault or the repetition of the self identity of the low self-esteem or whatever it is, the self identity of the, pain. Whatever in it. And it kind of bypasses it and the focus, changes in neurochemically all that shifts.

Damaged Parents: [00:28:06] Something interesting you said about  it shifts from looking for fault. And I thought that was really interesting because my experience of anyone in the midst of a struggle is a lot of times there's this idea that someone needs to be blamed, whether it's yourself or someone else for the struggle.

What are your thoughts on that?

Sadhu: [00:28:28] It's habitual,  and and I know for myself, that's what I realized and some of the science around the heart-brain connection. All of us come in and we kind of were formed. Our self identity is formed from zero to seven. Everything comes in all of the really positive qualities, but also a lot of negative qualities, a lot of negative world beliefs or self beliefs, self identity, so our self identity is really formed from zero to seven.

And it's basically an automatic pilot.  It's literally kind of like the hardware. It's hard wired into our system. And so you have a 20 year old, 30 year old, a 40 year old, 50 year old, 60 year old, if you do not kind of proactively rewire the default, that default is going to persist on the surface of our awareness.

Anybody can say, I want more money. I want better relationships. I want to feel more healthy. I want to do more of the things I love, but yet if that self identity hasn't changed that doesn't change. You know, The self identity really is driving. And so the self identity is, has a tendency and a habit to find like proof that they don't deserve proof that I've got to stay in pain to feel love.

Then it will find those things and it will cling to them because that's the self identity that reality will match that pattern. And so it disrupts the pattern to feel in your heart, what you're grateful for, and it creates a new pattern. That's the thing and it's all patterning. So anybody just has the persistence to feel better and feel that appreciation.

It will wire in, and it will reform the identity.

Damaged Parents: [00:30:05] It sounds like the confirmation bias, then doesn't have so much of a hold on someone okay. But I want to make sure I'm getting this right. So from zero to seven, it's like we're downloading everything and you know, it's funny as a side note, I still don't understand why some people hold onto the negative or not negative, but unhelpful memories.

And then some other people hold onto more helpful memories. But I think that, so what I hear you saying is if you picked up and you're maybe one of those people that holds on to the painful memories and all of us are gonna have some sort of painful memories from our past. I think that without the reprogramming of ourselves.

 Yeah. Cause I don't hear you saying go out and have someone else tell you who you are.

Sadhu: [00:30:56] That's right.

Damaged Parents: [00:30:57] This is very different in that you are saying, oh no, you need to figure out who you are for you.

Sadhu: [00:31:05] Yeah. Who you want to be for you and who you. want to be for others.  It is literally that simple for any of us, because we are simply perpetuating a self identity, whether whoever, however, It came in, it doesn't matter. We're perpetuating it. We're literally carrying it forward day by day, we wake up in the morning and we open up our eyes.

We're carrying a self identity forward that has a kind of a reciprocal, reaction from our environment. Our environment literally is the expression of our self identity.

Damaged Parents: [00:31:37] It may not be recognized. Right. So I may not even know that I have these unhelpful behaviors.

Sadhu: [00:31:44] Right.

Damaged Parents: [00:31:45] And yet I may not have the environment that I want. And yet I'm the one who created that environment.

Sadhu: [00:31:51] Absolutely. Yep.

Damaged Parents: [00:31:52] I'm getting there with you.

And I don't think that means that I definitely don't hear you saying that, you created the environment in which how do I want to say this? Cause I forgive me I'm going to go to a tough subject here. I received the message  recently that somehow I created a disability and other people have received that message that, oh, if they just believed or they just this and you know, that they create that struggle.

I think you're talking from a very emotional place of struggle or maybe I do I have that wrong? I'm not sure.

Sadhu: [00:32:27] I me personally, I feel it's all kind of emotional. Everything is emotional. The emotion is the strongest kind of determinant of who we are and how our life unfolds is our emotional landscape.

Damaged Parents: [00:32:41] Yeah, and I think that's more important than the physical, like we're going to have our physical challenges,

Sadhu: [00:32:47] Because the physical, if we identify with the physical, it's still somewhat material and it doesn't really shift the emotions. If we tune into how we feel emotionally and managed that and more kind of self identify with how we feel emotionally and become more aware that not to control our emotions, but to more kind of manage them to our preference.

Damaged Parents: [00:33:12] I don't know. I think something might happen when I accept the emotions as they are and love them and then it helps me figure out my needs from their type of thing. So it's not like I have to make them go one way or another. It's love all of that.

Sadhu: [00:33:33] That's right. And when you can feel more the appreciation and the gratitude ongoing, it kind of increases the emotional intelligence and just our ability to remember, to focus better decision-making because all the higher brain functions are turned on and that heart brain coherence stage, you know, so you don't have to necessarily crank a wheel.

To generate all these different changes in your life. It happens almost automatically if it remains that simple, if the focus just remains okay, daily, can I feel this experience? Can I feel this emotion? Can I feel it and kind of be with it, you know, day by day and the effects are cumulative and they're very far reaching.

They affect every single relationship. They affect our self identity on the spot.

Damaged Parents: [00:34:22] Yeah, it almost, I mean, the other thing I feel like I'm getting is this lack of having to control it

Sadhu: [00:34:30] Right.

Damaged Parents: [00:34:30] To feel it and that in doing that, the management goes away and the, this goes away and the judgment goes away. It's just becoming in alignment. With who one is in relation to the universe on some level, maybe.

Sadhu: [00:34:47] Yeah. Yeah, because if we take the premise that the universe would be somewhat like a mother,  or a loving father together, right. Loving parents and loving parents would only want the best for their children ever.  Ever. So that is a given. That's not a question at all. We take that premise.

The universe loves me and wants me to succeed. Where can I just embrace feeling good in myself? Because the universe is covered. I don't have to do anything extra special. My parents are going to change my diaper. They're going to look after you want to get a booboo. And so let me just, feel what's going on in me.

Damaged Parents: [00:35:25] Yeah, just even looking at your face, I mean, yeah, there's this joy that comes across and almost like a peace and joy. When you say this in a smile of not  just peace. I'm just gonna go back to peace and joy. And maybe fulfillment of, I am whole, and I am at peace at where I am and who I am in this very moment.

And that is just perfect. And so even in the midst of your struggle, when you use this heart meditation, heart intelligence, you can get there.

Sadhu: [00:36:01] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

for sure. And I've seen Angela like my life and my ability to be more neutral or resilient and be more chronically joyful.  That's definitely happened. I know myself, I can look back and recognize the patterns. Even when I was doing a lot of spiritual work, I still had an underlying identity that I was broken and I needed more spiritual work to be whole.

I, I was still carrying that pattern. And when I really locked into my heart and just started to really feel what I was grateful for from the past 24 hours. Then the momentum of that sort of just started to sort things out. And I recognize that pattern. And then I was able to let it go in the new self identity emerged

Damaged Parents: [00:36:47] yeah.

Sadhu: [00:36:47] And that carried me through, and that gets more joyful and more peaceful and more able to handle things that my kids do or life throws at me.

I just, I just process things in a different filter.

Damaged Parents: [00:37:00] It's it's cash. I just keep coming back to this pure love for all of who you are, is what I'm gathering from our conversation. And. That it didn't happen overnight and struggles still happen. And yet you're more resilient and that in recognizing your past behaviors. I'm not hearing that you're looking at them like they were wrong, just that's how it was.

That was beautiful. And now you have more knowledge and more love for yourself, and now you can make new choices.

Sadhu: [00:37:33] Correct. Yeah. Just lighter, being able to see that in myself and just be aware of it and just go, oh yeah, I see it. And now I feel this and today's a new day.

Damaged Parents: [00:37:42] Yeah. Okay. I've got to ask, when you filled out your pre questionnaire and it said, if you could give a title to your story, what would it be and you said Memoirs of a Lunatic, A Fantastic Journey Across the Sea of Consciousness, Into the Abyss of Synchronicity.

What was your reasoning and using the word lunatic.

Sadhu: [00:38:03] Right. I hope this ties in together because just recently I told the story and I was talking about gratitude actually, because I have a, I created a meditation quite recently. I mean, I have a bunch of meditations that are heart-focused meditations, but recently I just produced a new one.

It's got brainwave frequency music to it. And you know, I've been meditating for many years. And so it's somewhat of a professional production of this super, super simple, but kind of Well, done. And so I was sharing a post about it because I wanted to share with people. And it told a story of when I was living in Italy as a young man in my twenties, and I was full of a lot of rage and a lot of very self-destructive habits, then I'm lucky to be alive.

I kind of endangered myself so many times and endangered so many people around me because of my self-loathing and, disregard for, you know, myself. But anyway, I did have an epiphany somewhat in Italy. I was walking home from work one day and I, looked up in the sky and I saw the first star of the night.

And I don't know if I put my hands on my heart or not, but I said something that I did as a child, I said, Starlight star bright first star. I see tonight. I wish I may. I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. And my genuine wishes that everybody could feel how genuinely grateful and happy and appreciative  That I did for my life.

I wish everyone could feel as happy and joyful with life as I feel right now? I don't know if it was because of that, but something happened in my life where. It was an epiphany. It was a major, major, wake up call, sort of bizarre, life altering shift in my life, my modeling career ended.

My parents thought I was insane. I was ushered into a mental institution in Italy. My father literally had to fly across the ocean and come and pull me out. They wanted to keep me there because I was in an altered state. I don't know what that was. And I'm still sort of processing that there were drugs involved, but it was more of kind of like some sort of awakening thing.

I don't know what it was, you know what I mean? Some people say it's criminally rising or at a walk. I don't know what it was, but my own experience of it was I ended up in the street in Milan naked. With my hands over my heart, like this staring into a street lamp feeling like I was just going to be lifted from the earth because I was done.

It wasn't necessarily like I was depressed. I was just some reason in my mind. I was like, I think I'm ready to go from the earth. So I was waiting to get plucked away. I got plucked and put on the ambulance and driven to a mental institution and literally strapped into a bed, you know, in a straight jacket.

But it's, so my process in life has been kind of processing that experience. And so I felt somehow, like back when that had just happened, it was such a bizarre experience. I couldn't relate to my parents. My girlfriend left me all my friends thought I was insane and I didn't know what was going on.

And so I started to journal like crazy. And that happened that event where I was driven to the mental institution happened on a full moon. It was because I was trying to just figure out what that was and I was journaling it, anything I could think of that would try to make sense of that. And so I hadn't thought of that actually, until I saw your, how was answering your questions?

And I was like, well, really that's the book that I was kind of writing about my life and that's the title I had thought of then. So that was my honest answer to that question.

Damaged Parents: [00:41:31] Well, appreciative of your honest answer. And do you know what I'm hearing is that. It wasn't like, why did this happen to me? You didn't go into victim mode. It's like, what was the purpose of that experience? And by recognizing the purpose of that experience, then you've been able to take steps forward. I mean, you really went on a huge journey as in to try and understand and engage in what this life is for.

You. And I think anyone with not just, maybe it's a car accident. Maybe it's a unknown disability shows up. Maybe it's a, for some weird reason a spinal cord injury happens from a sneeze or something who knows. And yet it seems like all of that turns into this. What is the purpose of this in the journey becomes that much more interesting.

Sadhu: [00:42:28] Yeah. Angela. And as you're speaking and I'm listening to you because I really value being able to share with others because it just enriches our life. I could be much, so much more powerful in a conversation with you, then I'm done. I am alone. And more creative energy And insights are comes from collaboration.

What I'm feeling is that yes, each one of us has this amazing power. And that's why from the very beginning, when you said, like, what is heart intelligence? And like, that's what all of us have the opportunity to experience in ourselves is like, wow, the power of being. A human being and what runs through us.

And what's the potential. There is just so profound. And when we experience ourselves and appreciation for the life that we've been given, can we find, and we feel the appreciation for it, all of the answers of who we're going to be, what we're going to do, who's around how it's going to unfold all just fall into place.

Damaged Parents: [00:43:27] Yeah. And sometimes we don't even know what that answer is and it just, man, it just shows up and then we can recognize it, I think. Okay. I know we are running short on time because I just have enjoying this conversation. So bear with me for going over a little bit. I do surprise my guests by asking three things.

So three tips or tools we may or may not have mentioned them in the podcast already, but three tips or tools, three things people could do whatever you want. Go.

Sadhu: [00:44:00] Hmm. Let's see be aware of your breath as it's happening, as often as you can. In fact, joyfully become a master of being aware of your breath?  Sit up and stand up as straight as you can.  And learn how to experience deeper and deeper appreciation for your life through your heart as often as you can.

Damaged Parents: [00:44:19] Okay. Sadhu I am so glad I got to meet you, what an honor. And I'm so glad that you're willing to share your knowledge and your inspiration with my listeners. You can find Sadhu on Instagram @sadhuserves. And he also has a free Facebook group, Meditation and Manifestation Made Simple. Anything else you want to add to that today Sadhu?

 Sadhu: [00:44:44] Thank you, Angela. It's also been an honor and a pleasure, really. And so yeah, I do have a, I do have a meditation that basically is what we've been talking about. And it's free to the public and all you gotta do. is reach out. Just let me know you want it. Find me on Facebook. I'm on Instagram, join the group and I'll make sure you get the meditation in any other way.

I can serve you. Just let me know.

Damaged Parents: [00:45:05] Fantastic. I know I want it. So thank you.

Thank you for being such a gift to the world.

Sadhu: [00:45:13] Oh my gosh. Thank you. Likewise.

 Damaged Parents: [00:45:16] Thank you for listening to this week's episode of relatively damaged by damaged parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Sadhu about how he learned to feel his heart and recognize the wholeness inside of him. We especially liked when he spoke of how simplicity is empowering. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Facebook. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged to see you then