Bonus! - What in the World am I Doing? Broken then Rebuilt

Justine Rowland and Lilly Vaughn

Missionairies from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints share their experience of going on a mission and the struggles they have had to overcome.

Sister Lilly Vaughn

Hi, my name is Lilly and I am a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am from Texas and I love painting and playing soccer. I decided to serve a mission because I love my Savior Jesus Christ and want to share His light with others. I have felt peace, joy, and comfort as I have come to know Christ and those feelings have grown exponentially as I have shared it with others.

Social media and contact information: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006827089227

Sister Justine Rowland

I'm Justine Rowland from South Texas. I'm the oldest of 3, we're all close in age and have a blast together. I'm just about done with serving my 18 month church mission here in Sacramento California. I love helping others especially trying my best to strengthen their testimony in Christ.

Social media and contact information: Instagram:@justineerowland

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009013099885

Damaged Parents: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where spiritual beautiful, inspiring people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume. 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damage self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.

Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side whole.

Those who stared directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me, not in spite of my trials, but because of them. Let's hear from another hero. Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children.

This podcast is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. Today, we're going to talk with sister Roland and sister Vaughn. They have many roles in their life, daughters, sisters, friends, missionaries, and more. We'll talk about what it's like to go on a mission for the church of jesus christ of latter day saints how they struggled and how they found health and healing let's talk

Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents today we've got missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We've got Sister Vaughn and Sister Rowland with us. Welcome to the show.

Sister Vaughn: [00:02:09] Thank you.

Sister Rowland: [00:02:10] Hello.

Damaged Parents: [00:02:11] Yeah. So good to have you guys here. You know, I don't think a lot of people think of missionaries is people who struggle

You're nodding your head in agreement.

Sister Rowland: [00:02:22] Yeah, I agree because yeah, they just don't think about missionary lives

Damaged Parents: [00:02:26] Yeah,

Sister Vaughn: [00:02:26] As we go and just teach people and everybody's accepting. But in reality,

Sister Rowland: [00:02:31] it's a lot of rejection every single day.

Damaged Parents: [00:02:34] A lot of rejection every single day. Oh my gosh. That would be hard. And we'll get into the, to each of your individual struggles in a minute. But I have a question before that when you thought of going on a mission, did you realize that it would be this challenging or that you would have this much rejection?

Sister Vaughn: [00:02:53] For me, I knew it would be hard and that I would face difficult situations, but. You know, The reality of, missionary work doesn't settle in until you actually departed. So there was a level of anticipation beforehand, but not realization of it.

Damaged Parents: [00:03:10] Now was that hard accepting that, was that difficult.

Sister Vaughn: [00:03:15] There's been a few moments. Yeah. When it has been difficult to accept it. And we'll talk about later how we did, accept that

Damaged Parents: [00:03:23] Yeah. And then Sister Rowland how about you? Same question.

Sister Rowland: [00:03:27] I had no idea what missionaries do. I'd always saw the elders in my ward and I was always curious on what they did. And for me, I always thought they ride their bikes and we knock on people's doors, that's it.

Damaged Parents: [00:03:41] That you said they ride their bikes and they knock on people's doors and that's it.

Sister Rowland: [00:03:45] Yeah. and that's it.

That's literally what I thought like I had lessons with members, try and get to know them. I never really thought what I never, I was really curious on what missionaries did. I was very clueless about it too, because not many people in my family have served missions and then the ones that did serve missions, I've never heard much about it. And so I didn't know what to expect coming in. I was just like, all right, let's go. Let's see what happens.

Damaged Parents: [00:04:10] Oh, wow. Oh my gosh. You guys are going to have two totally different perspectives. I'm so excited. Okay. Now I got to dig in. Okay. So Sister Vaughn your biggest struggle during the mission. So when you filled out your pre-interview questionnaire, it was not just the biggest struggle was not coming on the mission.

It was an experience during being on your mission. Tell us a little bit about your struggle.

Sister Vaughn: [00:04:37] Yeah.

So me and my previous companion were out knocking doors. People who we had information for who'd been talked to by missionaries in the past, and I've gone to this house before two times each time, no one answered the door. They had a ring they didn't speak to us. So we have no verbal communication from them signaling that they didn't want any visitors coming over.

And the third time we went back over there. They had actually put up a no soliciting sign, but me and my companion didn't realize that it wasn't there before. So we just knocked like normal and this man comes out. He was the person we were tying to reach. So that was good, but he did not want to be reached by us.

He did not want to talk about, what it is that we believe I won't go into too much of the details, but the end of the conversation with him resulted it. Some not nice words. From his end, which did not make me feel good at all. And when we went back into our car after being rejected by this man, I just start bawling.

And so as missionaries, we have a designated driver and a designated person who uses the phone to you know send all the texts, do other calls. I was the designated driver. I'm steering in this steering wheel, trying to drive to our next person with just tears coming down my face. And I just felt so broken.

Disrespected, and I didn't know how to deal with it in the moment. We eventually got to an area where we could stop the car and park it was actually right outside of the person's house where we were going to visit next. And I just like, say prayer, just laying out all my feelings on the table and it was. it was really hard. I don't know why that rejection, cause I'd been rejected before but that just kind of hurt down to the core. I didn't know why, but as I was praying, I just kind of got this realization that I'm not the first person first missionary to go through that. There's a lot of moments on your mission.

You do find people who have hardened their hearts against Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. And there's a lot of people who have been fed misinformation about The Church, but as much as hard as that is for a missionary to go through, as mean, as people can be, you realize that the savior was treated the same. The savior was outcast from his own city, by his own people. The savior was mocked made fun of, he was physically harmed by people and he was ultimately killed.

Damaged Parents: [00:07:33] Yeah.

Sister Vaughn: [00:07:34] The amount of struggles you encounter and a missionary is never going to stop. It's never It's not going to amount to what the savior went through, but knowing that he went through that made me feel comforted because he knows what feels like. And he's there for us. He sent the Holy Ghost to comfort us during those times and to give us each strength we need to press forward. Even when we encountered those situations.

Damaged Parents: [00:08:06] So it sounds like what I'm hearing is in that moment, when you just prayed and you gave it all to God. That in that moment, you were able to find some strength or, I mean, it sounded like it the sensation of peace came over you and what happened in your next appointment? Or were you able to, I mean, was it like a shift?

do you understand where I'm going with that?

Sister Vaughn: [00:08:33] Yeah. absolutely. It did your words kind of put it perfectly. It was a shift. I had that comfort And that strength to walk over to the house we were going to visit next. And granted, I was still crying at this point because I was feeling the Holy Ghost so strongly, but as soon as we knocked on that next door, All my like happy energy, so to speak, came back.

And I knew that was because that person rejected us doesn't mean that everybody will, and we ended up having this amazing conversation with the lady we visited, you know, she was pretty awesome and she was super kind. So yeah, in a way I would describe it as a shift after feeling that strength come.

Damaged Parents: [00:09:19] Yeah. And it also sounds like another, I don't know if you've learned the lesson or if I'm just picking up on it, but one of the things that you may have realized after the fact is that person's behavior is from where they're at, not from where I'm at. Like it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Um, Did that occur to you at all? Or.

Sister Vaughn: [00:09:41] So one of the things that. Teach other people about is about agents, which is the right to choose good or bad. And that's an individual matter. That's what we learn. It's part of God's plan for us to choose His plan and to choose the right, but other people may make choices and it may affect you, but you can't let it. destroy your testimony or destroy your relationship with the savior it's just going to make it stronger.

Damaged Parents: [00:10:10] When someone behaves like that now after that experience, does it roll off a little easier? Or is it still,  I mean, I'm sure it's still hurts on some level, but does it give you more strength overall, I guess is the best question.

Sister Vaughn: [00:10:26] Yeah.

I respect them. And you know, it makes me sad that people don't have the desire to hear what we have to share. But I know that maybe if it's not today, they'll change tomorrow and someone else can help them out. But for me, the Lord will put me in places, talk to the people that I need to talk to, that he needs me to talk to. I now can continue on and press forward.

Damaged Parents: [00:10:51] That's awesome. Thank you so much. Okay. Now I get to hear a little bit from sister Rowland about her struggle. And from what you said, it's been knowing if the church is true really like I'm surprised. Tell me about that. Like, you're a missionary.

Before you share your story, I want to thank you for being vulnerable and honest in that even as a missionary, you questioned whether or not the church is true. So thank you so much for that. I love that transparency. That's amazing.

Sister Rowland: [00:11:23] Well, yeah, you're welcome. Yeah. So I'm at the end of my mission now. So I've experienced so many different people and. Everyone thinks, well, not everyone, but I thought like, oh, the missionaries know everything. I asked them a question, they'll know the answer to it because well, they're missionary is what they do 24/7. Reading about God and know everything about their church.

The reason why I came to the mission is to learn more about my beliefs. I'm like, okay, I was born in this church and I kind of went through the motions and well, why do I believe in the things I believe in? And so I was like, oh, perfect solution, go on a mission, because you're surrounded by that stuff.

this is your purpose is to help others come into Christ as well as inviting yourself to come into Christ. And so I was like, while I'm helping others, I can help myself. And so I was like, okay, I'll go on a mission and as was rejection and I'm coming like dealing with every single day, I was questioned so many times about different things that we believe in like who is Joseph Smith and their perspective on Joseph Smith.

And then it makes me think, oh, that's a good point about whatever you just said. And then makes me question like, that makes so much sense, but I know it's not true, but to me, I, it makes me question like what you just said makes sense. and then I start questioning my own beliefs , but it hasn't gotten to me, where am I?

Okay. I have to leave church. What they said is true, because I prayed about it. I'm like, all right, this person said this and it's making me question how I looked at it. This is whatever topic is it true or not. And I've always find the confirmation of the Holy Ghost, like, no like, You've been doing this your whole life.

This is true that Joseph Smith is a prophet the Book of Mormon is true, but just see people's different perspective or things like they misinterpreted or someone who was well knowledgeable in the Bible, saying their perspective. It just really got to me at times. And I remember like on some of our days off I would just sit there, like emailing my cousin, like I can't answer a simple question someone was asking me, or this person is just saying like, oh, this is not true whatever you believe is not true. Hopefully this all makes sense. But, I would, we just be sitting there, like, I don't even know if I should be in this church.

I don't know if I have a testimony like what is going on because you're being like, not attacked. I don't know how, what words

Damaged Parents: [00:13:52] Um, Maybe, maybe challenged.

Sister Rowland: [00:13:55] Yeah, we're being challenged here as so I was like I don't know what to believe in anymore. Like what is going on? I need someone's help. And so I would rely on family and as well as the savior, and pray and say, Hey, I'm going through the tough time and I don't know if this is even true.

Like, why am I even here? And I would always, you know, at the end, if this church wasn't true, I lived a good life like this was the best way to go. And I would say that sometimes. And sometimes like  I would think about it like, you know like late night thoughts you think about the most random things ever. But I did think that about that sometimes I'm like, what is this church was all fake, but I lived a good life. it was the best way to live And so, yeah, it's just people's perspective really made me think about lots of things

Damaged Parents: [00:14:42] Almost like you had to choose where you were going to stand.

Sister Rowland: [00:14:45] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:14:46] You could choose to stand over there or you could, well, there's many different places in between. Are you? Cause you had feet in both camps

Sister Rowland: [00:14:56] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:14:57] okay. Which is really interesting what happened inside of you as soon as you said, okay, you know what?

Nope. This is the camp I stand in and this is what I stand for. Did you notice a change on your mission?

Sister Rowland: [00:15:11] I have. So it's been one of the later questions, but  I just didn't feel like myself halfway through my mission, like my nine months. I was like, Okay.

I don't feel like a good missionary I still feel like, I don't know anything. I really need help. And so I asked my mission president for a priesthood blessing and as well as my cousin, he was there.

He was assigned to Mexico. But since COVID started, he had to go home and wait and be reassigned. He came here where I was at in California. And so I got to see him at this missionary meeting. It was a big missionary meeting and I just came up to my mission president. I was like, I need to bless you because I should be comfort at this moment.

I don't know what to do. and the first thing I told him, I was like, I haven't seen him in a year. I have not seen him. The first thing I said was can you give me a blessing and he goes like of course you can we go to the mission, like to a office. They give me a blessing and I'm just balling like my cousin said something that really touched me and I'm just sitting there crying my eyes out. And I just felt like Heavenly Father came and hugged me and said it's going to be okay.

Everything like you're doing good. And I was just crying my eyes out and they just let me sit there. And I was just saying like, okay, yes, I'm doing great.

All of this is true. Why am I even doubting? I need to doubt my doubt before I got my faith. I was just there like, okay yeah, this is true. As you say, I'm in the right camp this is for me. And so I got after that, that blessing, I just got my conformations.

Damaged Parents: [00:16:51] I really love how you said I'm in the right camp. This is for me, because I think in that what you didn't say that is that. And, and even what sister Vaughn was saying, that, these other people that you're trying to share the message with are on their journey and that is for them. And you might get to be a part of that or not.

You don't know. Right. And that's really cool and beautiful. I think that one of the things you learned to do as a missionary is to let other people have their journey, whatever that's going to look like. So you really learn, you have no control.

Sister Vaughn: [00:17:24] Yeah. It's all in the Lord's hands

Damaged Parents: [00:17:28] That's so hard. So if somebody came up to you and said, does control exist? What would you say?

Sister Vaughn: [00:17:34] Oh, absolutely not in our case, but heavenly father does.

Damaged Parents: [00:17:40] Yeah. what does that mean about like success and going home from your mission and what you're going to do? I mean, if you don't, have control and God does, and you're listening to the Spirit, how do you make sure to keep those wavelengths open so that you're always in alignment with what God would prefer?

Or what's your plan, I should say. Cause you're not going home yet, either of you to keep that sense of, I know who I am and I know what God would have me do in this moment.

Sister Vaughn: [00:18:12] So well, I just got on my mission probably five months ago and you know from what I've learned. I mean, we talk about, we have our own personal choice, right? And we can choose to let things affect that in a certain way or learn to grow from it. And so by continuing to keep God's commandments and to pray every day, read our scriptures and to go to church, all those things.

God has given us to remember who we are, that we are divine children of Him. And for me, the best way to get that connection is to do those things that He tells us to do and choose to be receptive to his guidance.

Damaged Parents: [00:19:00] So just a followup on that question real quick, sister Vaughn, during your mission, the whole five months you've been out, has there been a time where you've slacked off and you've noticed a difference in your relationship with God and the Holy Spirit?

Sister Vaughn: [00:19:14] Yeah. I mean, there's there, hasn't been a long period of time because when you do is that connection, you're like, whoa, I actually really need it to be a missionary so yeah, I've seen there be a difference um, When I do slack off but as long as I'm willing to keep doing those things and do them with their greater willingness, then I always did that.

Damaged Parents: [00:19:39] That's awesome. How about you Sister Rowland.

Sister Rowland: [00:19:41] Can you restate the question again?

Damaged Parents: [00:19:43] I think it was something to the effect. If not, it'll be a new question. How about that? Um, No, it was really something to the effect of, you know, maintaining that relationship with God and with the spirit. And how do you intend to keep that relationship going when you're not on the mission because.

My understanding is what you guys do right now. I mean, 24 hours a day basically is dedicated to studying your scriptures. Praying of course, I mean, you get to eat and, go out and visit people, but it's all the center is around Christ. So how do you take that home with you?

Sister Rowland: [00:20:24] For me, I think I'm going to try my hardest to continue the habits that I developed here when I go home, because lots of returned missionaries. They say that they do it for short amount of time and then life happens and they kind of forget about it and they go back to their normal habits.

And so I'm going to try my best to do that praying because we priced so much every single day. I'm going to continue doing that praying for everything. Reading my scriptures, just being open to God, let Him know what I'm feeling cause yeah. He knows what you're feeling and knows what you're going through. But I, I believe that He wants to hear from us just like how your mom knows, like what you want but it's not going to do anything about it unless you ask. And so I believe that's how God is. Like he knows lots, but you just have to be open. I'll try my best to be open to the habits I've developed already. And just feel the spirit all the time.

Damaged Parents: [00:21:22] Yeah.

 Before you went on your mission and even you questioned it during. So that will be interesting to hear from you. Maybe we should interview in a year so

Sister Vaughn: [00:21:34] Yeah, a follow up.

Damaged Parents: [00:21:35] that we'll have to do a follow-up and see what happened to you guys after your mission, which wouldn't be very long for. Wait, would it even be long enough? No it wouldn't. You would still be on your mission, right? Sister Vaughn in a year, you would almost just be getting off. Cause you're only five months in, right? Oh my goodness.

Sister Vaughn: [00:21:53] I would be where sister Rowland is now

Damaged Parents: [00:21:56] yeah. Oh my gosh. Now when you're in alignment with God, does time slow down for you

Sister Vaughn: [00:22:03] Yes. And no, both.

Damaged Parents: [00:22:06] both.

Sister Vaughn: [00:22:07] Yeah. The days seem really long because there's so much that we do. But looking back at your week, you think, where did that go fastest week ever so when you're kind of just working, working, working for the Lord, you lose focus on time and your focus is completely work.

Damaged Parents: [00:22:31] So it's almost like time doesn't work in the same way all the time.

Sister Vaughn: [00:22:37] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:22:37] Like sometimes it's, slow and sometimes it's fast. And even though those days are taking a long time, all of a sudden it's Friday, but you felt you had a tremendous amount of time to do the work and the days.

Sister Vaughn: [00:22:51] Hm.

Damaged Parents: [00:22:52] And then it's like, oh, we're here.

That's what I'm hearing you guys say.  That's amazing. I just wonder how much that relationship transcends by having that, that close relationship, how much that changes. that space in time situation?  that's the science-y spiritual side of me going. Okay. How does that work?

Sister Vaughn: [00:23:13] Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think in I mean, it's Moses maybe Abraham, it talks about how a thousand years on earth is one day for God. And granted, I don't know all the science about it. I don't know how it all works, but I know that time is relative to the perspective of the individual. And so time seems fast on your mission because maybe it is maybe you're on God's time you never know because you have that connection. So maybe that's why you see it as it goes by fast, because you're viewing it from his perspective. But

Damaged Parents: [00:23:53] Even in those days, those days are slow or they feel like you have all the time that you need to accomplish what you need to do.

Sister Vaughn: [00:24:01] Exactly.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:03] Like I, to me, that's fascinating and amazing. And do you think, like the closer you are with the spirit, that the more that opens up to like the accomplishments. And like, you don't even realize you did so much, but yet you did so much.

Sister Vaughn: [00:24:19] Yeah, all the time.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:20] That's amazing. Okay. Hang on two seconds. I'm trying to think of another question. So both of you have siblings at home, right? Yeah. No.

Sister Vaughn: [00:24:29] Yes. Yes.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:30] Now older, younger.

Sister Vaughn: [00:24:32] So I am the youngest out of two. So I have one older sister.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:37] And you're the,

Sister Rowland: [00:24:38] I'm the oldest. There's three of us so I'm the oldest.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:42] Okay. Wow. That's really interesting that you guys were paired together. The youngest and oldest. Now a Sister Vaughn had your sibling gone on a mission.

Sister Vaughn: [00:24:51] No. So my sister she's married now. She got married last October her husband. My brother-in-law served served his mission in Italy. And then my dad served his mission.

in New Zealand so out of my immediate family setting aside, my brother-in-law it's only me and my dad.

Damaged Parents: [00:25:11] Now for you was it a hard decision to decide to go on a mission?

Sister Vaughn: [00:25:15] No, it took a lot of faith on my part to make that decision. And I wrestled with it, that idea for quite a long time, ever since I started seminary high school, but my answer had always been well I don't think it's my path. It's not something I'm super interested in doing. I don't have to do it cause I'm a girl. And so those were all my thoughts, before and my first year at college, I took an Institute class that it was Jesus Christ and the everlasting gospel. Every single lesson, he brought the spirit and so powerfully. And you know, what's really cool is that we talked about the creation of, all the earth. And we talked about us too, but it's interesting to see how many intricacies were part of that, the amount of things that he had to create. And, there's a scripture that says all things denote, there's a God and it's true. And I saw that I came to that realization in that class. And that's what started me on the thinking process of, should I actually share this great knowledge I have and I ended up making a system and it was a little difficult to get to that point.

But as soon as I made it, I knew it was right.

Damaged Parents: [00:26:33] That's awesome. That's really cool. Sister Rowland

Sister Rowland: [00:26:37] For me so out of my immediate family, my dad served a mission in salt lake, but he passed away when I was the baby. And so I have no knowledge about his mission just maybe from his parents, his siblings, but I'm the only one who's gone on a mission. My mom's a convert.

And my siblings. Are not planning on going on missions either. And so this was just all all me. This desire to go on a mission because because why not?

Damaged Parents: [00:27:05] Yeah. Well, and you ladies have both learned so much. It sounds like that is, that really could impact the rest of your lives like that. There was a seems like there's really a, it's almost like a pilgrimage, you're on this spiritual journey before you dig into day-to-day life. And it sounds like by doing so you learned so much about who you are and what you stand for.

Yeah, that's really interesting. Now the one thing I did want to ask for you because we do have listeners, or I do have listeners that are not from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So I would love it if you would. like you said, a lot of people have been fed misinformation. So if you could let us know what is some of that, the information that you would want people to know, not the misinformation, but what are, what are the truths about the church that your heart is telling you, people need to know.

Sister Vaughn: [00:28:02] We don't have seven lives that's for sure on our husband. I would just say the most important fact about our church is that Jesus Christ established his church again on earth, through the prophet Joseph Smith I know that to be true. And I wish everybody that.

because the significance of that single fact is great. It means that there is a heavenly father a God who loves us and instructed his son.

Jesus Christ. to give us a hope that we have, that we have the knowledge. And the authority, the power to do the things that we need to do to return to heavenly father.

Damaged Parents: [00:28:43] It's so beautiful. Now I've had a lot of people always ask me, about about , the celestial telestrial, you know, they always ask, what is this? What is this? Can you tell us, so sister Roland, maybe since Sister Vaughn, did that, would you share with us? I at the plan of salvation a little bit.

Sister Vaughn: [00:29:01] I believe that God well I know that God is our loving heavenly father, and I don't think he wants us to go and burn in hell because We've got a parent wants that. And so the celestial, telestial, terrestrial kingdoms are three glories of

heaven, I guess I don't know how to simplify it, but three places that God's put us because he loves us and he wants the best for us just like our parents here on earth. And so, I don't know how in detailed you want to go, but

Damaged Parents: [00:29:35] We've got about 15 minutes. Go for it.

Sister Vaughn: [00:29:38] I believe like, there's three parts of this. Like the first, the highest kingdom. We like to refer it as like the sun is the brightest kingdom that's where God and Jesus Christ is. And we all want to live with them both and live with our families again. And the second it's comparison to the star. Yeah, the stars,

Sister Rowland: [00:30:01] the moon

Sister Vaughn: [00:30:01] the moon

oh my goodness. I messing everything up. And those are good people. They, know about Jesus Christ they really follow his teachings, but they still get a good place. And then last, the last thing is the stars.

The kingdoms are not on stars, it's just the comparison of those three. and the last kingdom, is people who didn't really have a knowledge about it, about Jesus Christ or God, but they still have a place to go. These three places are great places and we strive to be in the highest one but Yeah. I don't believe God wants us to be burning in torture. So that's why we have like,

Damaged Parents: [00:30:41] Yeah. Now recently I had someone asked me you know, where we go after we die. And I think in, so we have spirit heaven, right? Or spirit uh, it's messing it up too. 

Sister Vaughn: [00:30:55] So after we die, our bodies will go on the ground and our spirits will go to the spirit world. And in the spirit world, one is a spirit paradise. The other is a spirit prison those who have accepted God's teachings and followed after the savior, Jesus Christ will go to spirit paradise. Those who have not done those things will go to spirit prison, but in the spirit prison, their people's spirits than still be taught what Jesus Christ all of the people on earth, when he teaches us today through people who were called to teach us.

And so that's not the end. When Jesus Christ comes again for the second company, our bodies will be resurrected. And that means that our bodies will come out of the ground and our spirits will be put into them. And our bodies will be perfected and that's important because you don't want just dusty, old skeletons, right?

Damaged Parents: [00:31:55] Zombies, I'm thinking zombies

Sister Vaughn: [00:31:57] yeah.

Our bodies and spirits will be viewed. that creates our soul, which we have our souls right now, but there'll be perfected after that. And then we'll stand out of the judgment bar of God. And there he'll basically just say, did you do good in this life? And did you fall off through my son who set the perfect example.

When did you not? And so based on. God's judgment will be placed into three degrees of glory, the celestial kingdom, the terrestrial kingdom, and the telestial. And so that's kind of the end part plan of salvation we call it or plan of happiness because it's a plan that was given to us by a God so that we could be happy in return to live with him. So that's it laid out simply.

Damaged Parents: [00:32:50] Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that because I always botch it, so how do I want to word this question? I was going to ask about well, cause Sister Rowland when you came on your mission, had you already been able to go to the temple before that or? No, I don't think so. Right. Like you had to wait because of COVID or.

Sister Rowland: [00:33:08] I got to go to the temple before my mission And I as well was one of the workers in there.

Damaged Parents: [00:33:14] And did you notice a different energy in yourself and your ability to reach when you said your prayers to really connect with God with when you were there and then even after you left there, did you feel like it was easier?

Sister Rowland: [00:33:28] Oh, yeah. I definitely felt a difference between the connection and being in the temple is  such a different feeling. It feels so good to be in there. You feel closer to God. And I felt a little change in me when I worked there and afterwards,

Damaged Parents: [00:33:43] Can you describe that feeling at all? I mean, can you even put it into words?

Sister Rowland: [00:33:49] oh, I'll try my best, but I don't think I can put it into words?

In the temple. It's so peaceful and it's calm and we all look alike because we're all wearing the same thing which is just all pure white. It just feels so good to find your thinking you're in a spiritual place. And that is with you all the time.

When you leave the temple, when you get out, go back to your street clothes, I guess you would say, and I, for me, I just felt like, wow, I can have this I can be calm . I can be useful, I can be like this with God. yeah. I don't know how to describe it, but I don't know I just felt so much closer to Him while I was there and afterwards as well.

Damaged Parents: [00:34:34] What about you? Sister Vaughn?

Sister Vaughn: [00:34:35] After I look at my endowment, I just felt this extra protected. And I felt a lot more happier because I knew that the covenants I had made in the temple God was happy.

Damaged Parents: [00:34:51] Because you were able to, I think, keep those covenants, then you were able to stay at peace. And so it really kind of becomes a circle or a relationship, right? Not just a one way. God does not just give any, you've got to give, you know, it's, it's a relationship . Gosh, that's really interesting.

Because I think when I grew up, I grew up thinking that, number one, I just could tell I, when I prayed, I just would say everything and then be done. I didn't even realize I needed to listen. What is listening to God look like, right. And. Yeah. Let's say, answer that question for you guys.

What does listening to God look like? How do you know when the spirit is nudging you with a message from God?

Sister Rowland: [00:35:35] That's an excellent question and a loaded one at that I can try. Yeah.

Or me. When I get that little nudge from God and I don't do anything about it. It's kind of different all this time, but I get like repeated thoughts. I had a little thought in my head and I push it aside like, oh, that's just like my self reflection it's like, oh, I pushed that off. But listening to God he's just telling me constantly.

And if I'm not act on it, he will send someone for like a friend or a family member would say something like, okay, I've been getting this like idea all day long. and it must be God and so I have to, that is Him answering me, but I was just not listening. I wasn't paying attention. As you said, I just pray and then all right, let's go. Like no  , you have to let him talk to. It's like

When you're on a phone call is someone you're just like you tell her your story. All Right. Bye

Talk to you some other time. No, you let them talk too so yeah, as well, I feel that you have to let God talk. You have to let him, you have to sit there and listen.

And if, when he does talk about to act on it,

Damaged Parents: [00:36:42] Sister Vaughn I think you grabbed scriptures for a reference. Am I right?

Sister Vaughn: [00:36:46] Yes you're right um I think Hermana Rowland, Sister Rowland sorry that was in Spanish. Kind of put it perfectly that when we act that's, when he received that confirmation, that it was from God. And that was good because you'll see the outcome of it. The scripture that I want to shares in 2 Nephi chapter 32. And it's a pretty popular chapter, a lot of

people read it for support, or to explain it. But I like verse three, it says angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, wherefore. They speak the words of Christ. Then it continues. Wherefore. I send to you feast upon the words of price, we behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things, what you should do. And you're gonna know that heavenly father is talking to you. If he's asking you to do something. Because He, I mean, yes, the holy ghost is there to teach us, and comfort us, but he's also there to guide us to let us know what changes we should make in our lives to grow closer to the Savior, which is exactly what the words of Christ

are for to help us learn about Christ and learn what he taught so we can do that. And So for me, that's how I've been able to tell that God is telling me I need to do something. And that I'm receiving an answer to my prayers. .

Damaged Parents: [00:38:17] So it could be a nudge. It could be, it could be so many things. So it's almost like we have to figure out for ourselves. What it means to hear the spirit and what it means to hear the voice of God for in our lives and that we are each different. So I'm thinking it's probably different for every single person in the world, like, which is why maybe we can't put it into words.

Sister Vaughn: [00:38:42] Yeah. it definitely speaks to people in different ways.

Damaged Parents: [00:38:46] Yeah. Now I really want to ask this question when I'm assuming that I think both of you, I don't know, have been with someone who's gotten baptized right? No?. Yeah. Yeah. And could you feel when they shifted.

Sister Vaughn: [00:39:02] Yeah, absolutely.

Damaged Parents: [00:39:04] Was it just like this doing? Or did you get it like a sensation? Did like a feeling, did you both feel that at the same time, if you were together? I don't know.

Sister Vaughn: [00:39:14] For me, well we weren't together when these experiences happened. But we'll have our friends or investigators. He decided to get baptized about a couple months ago maybe a month. And when we were first teaching him, he was actually the first lesson I had on my mission. And, you know, I got a semi good feeling from it, but I didn't know if it was, if he was going to progress farther than he was. And we lost contact with him for a little bit. But when he came back to have lessons with us, you could see that hunger or more, more of what we were giving him which was peace, joy. comfort and it was guidance. And, there was a shift in his countenance after he was baptized.

And it, honestly, the only way I can describe it is I can see a light in him that was shining brighter.

Damaged Parents: [00:40:12] That's awesome. Okay. Sister Rowland your experience.

Sister Rowland: [00:40:16] Yeah, my experience, I guess I would say like, it's kind of similar this man as well, he was baptized maybe like two months ago and the rest of his family members he's been taught by missionaries for over 30 years. I usually so hard hearted. Yeah. The missionaries would come and teach him and he would listen to the missionaries, but never progressed

and so we came in and something changed with him we would all of us have lessons with him and his wife. And like Sister Vaughn  said,  I can see him have that hungry. Every time we come knock on his door. He had a scriptures ready, he had the little pamphlets that we had ready to go And say, oh yeah, I read this. I tried my best to read this, read this, read this.

And his wife would always say, like, I don't know, what's up with him. He's been taught for over 30 years and never once wanted to talk to the missionaries or if we did, he didn't do anything they asked and now he just always tries his best because he's always busy tries his best to do this, the homework that we give him and once he was baptized, I saw him change and he want to be that good example to his family as well, because he's like, okay like, I, need to be this example to my family.

And if I do this maybe my kids will do it as well. They'll see me, like, I'm getting I'm learning and growing out of this. So maybe Mike can see that as, as well and follow into my footsteps and have that hunger to learn more.

Damaged Parents: [00:41:48] Yeah. And what did you, so you just noticed a behavior change.

Sister Rowland: [00:41:53] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:41:54] a more of a willingness, did you sense a feeling or, say, would you say he was brighter? Because of

Sister Rowland: [00:42:00] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:42:01] you understand what I'm.

Sister Rowland: [00:42:02] Yeah, Yeah. I understand what I'm trying to say. Yeah. I would see that it was brighter and it felt different after he was baptized, had that desire to change. It's just an atmosphere. It just felt different every time we would talk to him.

Damaged Parents: [00:42:17] Yeah, like there's this like a bigger feeling. Okay. Now usually at the end of the podcast, I asked people for three tips or tools that come to mind that they want to share with the listeners so I did not warn you guys. I don't warn my guests about this.

Sister Rowland: [00:42:34] Right.

Damaged Parents: [00:42:34] And there's a reason because I believe, you know, whatever people believe in, whether it's God, or the universe or whatever, there's a greater being out there that has to do with our higher self and what pops into our mind is exactly what it's supposed to be in that moment. So I would like you guys to share with us your three tips or tools and Sister Vaughn, do you want to go first or would you like Sister Rowland to go first.

Sister Vaughn: [00:43:00] I go first. So when you said three tips or tricks, I immediately thought of this lesson that we do and it's CPR. you know, CPR has meant to keep us alive pretty much. And

It's the same thing with our spirituality. We need something to keep us To the Savior. close to the Heavenly Father father keep that connection alive so that we can recognize the spirit in our lives.

Like the scripture said and know which things that God needs us to do. And so C stands for church, you go to church P prayer, communicate with your Heavenly Father and R read the scriptures, read the book of Mormon because those three things, honestly, those are the three habits I've changed on my mission. And my connection I have with my heavenly father is way stronger than it was before.

And I know that by doing those three things consistently and with an open heart that your life is going to change and you're gonna find that light in your life more often and stronger even.

Damaged Parents: [00:44:09] Awesome. Okay. Sister Rowland, and it's all you.

Sister Rowland: [00:44:13] It's all me. Oh my goodness. I would say to the people listening, if you ever see the missionaries, if you see us. Anyone who has tag on to always be nice to them, even if you don't even want to hear whatever we're trying to tell you. Just be nice, like smile at them. Offer water because we are in the heat all day long.

Yes, we have a car, but it's still hot. Be nice to them. And just give them a simple smile and maybe wave like, oh, sorry. Yeah, not interested. Okay. If you're going through a lot you don't know, and a mission's hard. Everyone knows that or the ones who do have knowledge about missions. It's hard. So it's tired best to be nice and reject nicely as well. you.

don't want to hear anything that we're trying to say and to build your communication with God more because people always say like, oh yeah, I pray. Well, Yeah.

we pray. but you act on things that you, the answers. Do you act on those answers Do you listen? Like we've been talking about you, listen to God, do you let him talk.

And as well as just you continue to strengthen your, testimony your faith, continue to strengthen that every day. Don't just be satisfied with the beliefs that you have now, like  the foundation that continue to strengthen it all the time. Read your scriptures, go to church, pray just like  hermana Vaughn, but just continue to, don't be satisfied with what You have now and continue to strengthen it all the time.

Damaged Parents: [00:45:46] And what I'm getting from both of you, like the bigger message that I'm hearing, even from your three things, is that the church is true. You know, Like people are people. And no matter what, even in the church, there will be challenges and problems and what is said is still true.

And I just love that message so much. So thank you so much for being on this show. I really enjoyed this

Sister Vaughn: [00:46:10] Thank you so much for having us. been an awesome learning experience. for both of us

Damaged Parents: [00:46:16] Awesome.

 Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoy talking to Sister Rowland and Sister Vaughn about the struggle of going on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We especially liked when they taught us where they turned for answers.

To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Facebook. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then