Bonus: Healing My Heart Literally and Deciding My Destiny

Kyle Spyrides

Kyle Spyrides was kicked out on the streets at the age of 14 when he became an independent human being. At the age of 18 he learned that he had a hole in his heart. He was put into an induced coma giving him a 33% chance of survival. Eventually he was able to heal himself back to health and have been managing surgeries and health ever since.

Social media and contact information: https://www.instagram.com/kyle_spyrides/
https://kylespyrides.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kyle-spyrides/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdUIJyRqTEFYSC3_GZBgckw
https://www.facebook.com/kyle.spyrides

Podcast Transcript:

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where broken hearted, determined, beautiful souls come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damage self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges. Maybe it's not so much about the damage. Maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it.

There is a deep commitment to becoming who we're meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole. Those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose.

These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them, let's hear from another hero. Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them.

 Today we're going to talk with Kyle Spyrides he has many roles in his life, son, brother, uncle inspirational photographer, author, and more. We'll talk about how his heart literally had a hole in it and the journey to how he found health and healing. Let's talk

Hey, Hey, welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've got Kyle Spyrides over from Australia. We're glad to have you here. Thank you so much. You've got your own YouTube channel. You've got a book coming out soon. You've got a lot of stuff going on.

[00:02:18] Kyle Spyrides: Thank you. Thanks for having me on yes, yes. Quite a bit going on.

[00:02:22] Damaged Parents: Yeah, I don't you, do daily YouTube videos.

[00:02:26] Kyle Spyrides: Yes, correct. Yeah. I call them, Decide Your Destiny Daily Doses. And they like an inspirational takeaway from the day or learning, or maybe a challenge I had to go through and kind of my takeaways from that. And something to implement for the listener. So yeah, I've kept it up from the start of this year.

So they're at about 180, I think today's going to be 184.

[00:02:49] Damaged Parents: Wow. Now, what is it like with Daily Doses? And you said it's usually something you've learned in your day or something from your life, which leads me to believe you're really sharing your life with the listeners. And what is that like? And what have you learned from being so open and vulnerable like that?

[00:03:10] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah.

well, I'm sure you can relate to, I think, being vulnerable and open is such an empowering thing. And I think it's like a lot of things in life where at first it's scary, you're fearful of, what's on the other side. We are human and, I think ingrained in us historically we're so, concerned with prosecution or being shunned out of a community or, social approval.

And so there's all those worries and concerns. And then I think you just get to a certain point and I think if you've had like multiple near life and death experiences, you get to this point where you go, well, hang on a minute. If I don't you know do some good work here and make some positive impact whilst I'm here today in this moment, then what am I really doing?

And I think once you get to that point, all the fears fall away, all the opinions or the concerns, all the worries fall away, and then you start being authentic. and I think it's probably one of the things in my life that surprises me most about how receptive people are. I think one of the things why people are receptive is, the way society is changing.

I think originally,

 You fit in a box and there's still. Yeah, talking heads that are trying to get people to fit into boxes every single day. And I think society will continue to try and get people to fit into boxes. But I think there's such a diversity of people and you're seeing that so many podcasts coming out all around the world.

So many different groups, movements, and such a diversity of people that when you speak out and when you say, Hey, this is what happened to me. You get a whole bunch of people come in saying, thank you. I was either too afraid to speak out. Or I was at my job. If anyone heard me talk about this in my job, they'd be upset or, whatever the issues are.

I think you just, you what it is you're giving people permission and space to go through themselves and do some healing in their own lives. That's one of the takeaways. But there are many.

[00:05:04] Damaged Parents: Yeah, you made me think of well on a collective level really then it seems like there are more people willing to be vulnerable in that what I heard you say is, the, we're not, you said the talking heads trying to fit people into a box. Right. And instead of fitting into that box, we're shifting from the box, I think to a much more complex way of being.

And I think you're saying we're on the edge of that.

[00:05:34] Kyle Spyrides: Yes. Yeah.

I definitely think so. And I think it's kind of this speed train that you can't stop, you know, and I think, you've seen that, we've seen that in the history, different sort of times with many different movements where, things, I think Martin Luther King and all these different sort of people where, you know, everything.

From the talking heads and the controlling scenario or the controlling, system that a lot of people were happy with weren't happy with his progression, but it was just this wave like that was coming. And I think, I hope personally that there is that wave where every person can actually feel content with being themselves.

I live in Australia and Australia is a country that's very much like ah, come on, pull your head in, follow this way, it'd be like everyone else, don't call it. Australia is notorious for don't ruffle feathers, like, oh no, don't ruffle feathers don't.

But you've got young people who, are different and who, have a different way of thinking or have a different view and a different belief in different opinion. And then you've got people that are, I think the sad thing, he's got people that are adults with kids and they're in positions of power.

And they're saying, if you don't do this, you're not Australian. If you don't do that, you're not Australian, you know? and so these sorts of things that, it's kind of like there's fighting on the top level, but no, one's thinking about the kids down below and what are they interpreting when you say, if you don't do this, you're not Australian, or if you don't fit into this way, then you know, you're not a part of our community.

So it's just, I think it's such shortsightedness from the battles that are there at the top in politics or getting people's, approval or getting votes or numbers or, popularity and they don't consider, and it's kind of like one of those things you get into and you want to make a positive change, but then bit by bit, you realize that you have to do things that aren't so positive.

And I think. Thinking of the future thinking of children and how they feel like they fit into the world is a very important thing, because I honestly think the biggest problem going forward is going to be depression, anxiety, mental illness which I think for 10 years has really been a big problem and affects a lot of people, but going forward, people need to know that they have, that they can have room to talk.

Like, I look at it when I was a teenager. I had a little brick phone, that had snake on it, and I wasn't on social media every day. I didn't have every form of the internet mining data and tracking and, helping out advertising yeah,

Different sort of things.

So if you said something back then, if you posted something, if you were a bit stupid with your friends, if you maybe said the wrong thing. It would be forgotten and you'd get a cutaway. But what if the kid today says the wrong thing at school? He's kind of, got a bus stroke for life, and like, and that's the, I think that's the worrying thing here.

We need more compassion and more forgiveness, more understanding and more and more communication because, you know, you have a conversation. Some of my friends' thoughts and beliefs and views, even of me because of my heritage were totally wrong and would be, you'd burn them at the online stake in today's world.

But it doesn't mean that that's who they were, that they just had a certain thought at a certain time. And I think the compassion needs to come into it.

[00:08:48] Damaged Parents: Yeah. In what you're saying, what keeps coming up in my mind is the word offense and I'm wondering what it's like in Australia, do people take offense and it's like, cancel culture. I don't know if you use the same term over there.

[00:09:03] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah, no, we do. We

[00:09:05] Damaged Parents: Okay. Okay.

[00:09:06] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah, yeah. Look, I think I think generally like we have a tough skin, like Aussie's seem to have a tough skin, but there is that sensitive core. And I think there's also that part of, like the Aussie culture that I noticed is like, they don't want to be troubled, they don't want to go to the trouble where I feel like, correct me if I'm wrong, but in the U S if someone believes in something or someone has a strong feeling about something, they will go to the trouble, they will create the movement or whatever they need to do.

They'll do it.

[00:09:35] Damaged Parents: Sometimes not always because there are those people that will just be like, oh, this needs to happen. And someone else can do it.

[00:09:43] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah.

exactly. And probably on a world stage, I think the U S is probably maybe a country where that happens a lot more like that they're very yeah, I'm, speaking very generally here, but it seems as though in your country, people are very aware of constitution where only now, like, I think, people bit by bit of being a bit more coming a bit more aware of our constitution and what's actually in writing and those sorts of things.

And, bit by bit, you definitely get those Australians that are really proud Australians and know the Australian constitution and all that sort of thing. But a lot of Australian is kind of like cultures, alright leave me alone. Like I don't want any fuss, just let me be over here on my plot of land doing my thing go fishing, go here, go there. And I just want to be left alone

[00:10:25] Damaged Parents: So it sounds slower to me over there.

[00:10:28] Kyle Spyrides: Yes.

[00:10:29] Damaged Parents: Then over here, cause everybody over here is like watch out or not everyone, but most people are watch out because, but I think in some sense, like in, so it sounds like in Australia they're going to go fishing or they want to be on their land. Right. Just leave them alone.

And over here it is, I must succeed and succeed is financial succeed is being the top of the company. It is like, so it's a very go, go, go. And I'm thinking, maybe that plot of land and some fishing might not be so bad compared to this because then I might get to know who I am.

[00:11:06] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah.

[00:11:07] Damaged Parents: And over here it's a lot harder.

There's so much more noise.

[00:11:11] Kyle Spyrides: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I think one thing I've noticed is like, you can be in Australia and if you tune out of electronics and everything, you can feel like, wow, this is quite nicely isolated, like some place like Perth, you know, the most isolated city in the world, you know, you go drive out on a Sunday morning and the streets are quiet, like it's very peaceful in that setting.

And look, I'm speaking very general because, we're such a multicultural country, So we get people from all sorts of places and then you, but it's, interesting to see the Australian essence or the Australian character mixed in with say like South African people cause in Perth, you've got a lot of south Africans and they've got a very strong determined like nature to them.

[00:11:54] Damaged Parents: Okay. So a little more like the Americans they're going to come in and be like, boom, boom, boom. We got to get this done.

[00:11:59] Kyle Spyrides: Yes. Yeah. And I'm not saying that there's no Australians like that. There's plenty of Australians like that. Plenty of amazing successful go getters. But I think, the communication type is a lot less in your face for an Australian and that's probably the difference.

And then you can see, because I was born in South Africa and I came to Australia when I was very young and I've lived in Sydney for a lot of years and come to Perth and it's so interesting to see. How the relationship works and , where they get on and where they don't get on and why they fall out.

And I think that the best way I say it is like Australia and goes, like, Yeah.

nah, yeah, nah, no worries. Yeah, nah mate. Yeah. Nah, should be Right. And the South African goes, well, is it now? Or is it when, when is it happening? so it's like the very opposite sort of personality, types which you can see, the, this African very generally speaking again, no offense to anyone out there, but the South African might go, you know, ah, he's lopsy dozy is he's not telling me which way he wants to go.

And the Australian would be, oh, he's too. And my face is too overwhelming. So that's where the, different personality types come through.

[00:13:00] Damaged Parents: Okay. So let's take the, take an offense and put it in the different cultures. So the, in, in a sense, so what I'm trying to figure out is so we in America or in my, experience out here, and even in my groups online and things like that, when people take offense and it's something that the offender needs to be responsible for whether intended or not.

What about in Australia and maybe in your, the south African, you know, if you were to compare those two to America, what would you say?

[00:13:30] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah. I think it's conversational. I definitely do think it's like, , it's in those moments where it's just, which is kind of sad to see, but so much gets lost in interpretation, you know? , and I I've got Australian friends and family and South African friends and family, and I can see where they're misfiring and where they're not connecting the dots.

And. I think it comes back to intent, you know, what's the intent of the person, like, was it a pure intent? It was a great intent? Yeah. Most of the time, generally. It's good intent. We just get lost in the minutia of it. You know how he said that was a bit too harsh, how he said it was a bit too direct.

He comes off rude. So I would probably say, yeah, like South Africans might come off rude where, Australia might come off. Like he doesn't care or he's like, not really giving me a clear cut decision, but it doesn't mean he's not giving a clear cut decision. You know yeah nah, might be, yeah.

To him about the south African way. I understand what yeah nah means, straight off the boat. Yeah,

[00:14:24] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like, what you're saying is it just really comes back to communication, you know, what about like a disagreement in your area, when people disagree is it like cut that person off or is it let's come back to the table and figure out what's going on?

Like, what do you notice in your area?

[00:14:42] Kyle Spyrides: Oh, it's probably more cut that person off or like, I don't need to be around that person. Like, other than I didn't even mix around that circle. And yeah, I think that's what happens in these countries you get definitely in Sydney, you get these suburbs, you get these locations that are purely one race, so you go out to Sydney and there's, I'm trying to remember the name of it, but there's a, there's an area that's just got Vietnamese people and then there's an area that's just. Islanders an area that's just got Greeks Italians, so they live in their areas because, and I do believe this, and speaking to older Italians and older, well, back in the day derogatory term, but they used to call them Logs.

They experienced a lot of racism and not being able to assimilate. And I think that's the thing, like personally, I don't feel like that's a big thing today. Like, I don't think it's a huge thing. I think Australians are pretty, pretty welcoming. and if Americans come here, they'll say we're like a very friendly bunch, which we are, but I think probably it's a bit hard to assimilate into this culture because.

What is the culture. And I think that's what happens. You look at certain places in the world, very Western places, and you kinda have to ask, what is the culture? You know, If they come from a rich Greek, Italian Vietnamese background, they've got such a wealth of culture, so then they go, they come to Australia and they go, ah, what's the culture here.

Like, I'm not sure, like meat pies and barbecues and Sundays, and don't get me wrong. Like I love Australian culture. it's very easy to kind of just come and fit into, and so you'll get people that will come over and they'll just fit into the culture and the other people that go, no, like I want to be my rich, rich history and culture to this place.

So then they kind of set up their own space and that's where, it's interesting. You get these groups of people. And you get these suburbs that it's like Australia, but it's like another little, you know, Vietnam or another little, you know, Italy. It's, quite quite interesting.

[00:16:32] Damaged Parents: Yeah, I think it's really interesting what you're talking about as far as these cultures and things like that. Because if I take what you're saying about the Vietnamese and the different groups, right. And that, uh, the Italians and, what have you. And you could almost apply that to Facebook , in the groups.

And your question of is almost like, how do you assimilate? How do you integrate. All of those cultures. So like, while there's this larger Facebook with all these little groups that are now mostly private that are saying, wait, no, this is, this is my tribe and this is my tribe and this is my tribe.

So how do we start to integrate people back together into the larger tribe? do you have any thoughts on that or have you thought about it?

[00:17:19] Kyle Spyrides: Look, it'd be pretty big if I had the answers. And I think, look, I think we all have the answers in some form within us, and I think it's coming back to what's most important in life. Like what's most important that that I can work and I can feel like I contribute. I can raise a family.

I can have my own time where I can go and do the hobbies that I enjoy. You know, One of the most important things, but I think we live in a world where

it's ever encroaching on us and that's where you're seeing more and more. I'm seeing more and more groups pop up and more and more people coming out. The woodworks that usually would be the people don't want no fuss, don't want any problems, but because. Legislation changes because of just such a big government.

it's actually affecting people's lives, and so they're no longer happy just with their lot doing their thing because with their lot doing their thing has now become effected, more and more especially Australia. And I think I probably would be the same.

I mean, the U.S. I'm not too sure, but the Australian economy is really supported by small business

[00:18:22] Damaged Parents: Yes. True here too.

[00:18:24] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah. And small business has just taken a pounding. And lots of people that would usually not be upset about different sort of decisions are getting upset and are up in arms, and I think it comes down to the end of the day is like

what are the simple things that most humans want, and that's how I think we can integrate and work together. But there is you're right. I think, there is a lot of polarization in today's day. It's definitely magnified on a social level on the online world. And I think if we can pull back from that, and then when we see people encountering person, it's very easy to get on common ground with people.

It's extremely easy. We share most of the same organs. Apart from that, there's a lot of areas where humans can get on common ground, because each of us are unique, so that's why, this red pill is not going to work for me and you, or this.

Trick this hack, this thing is not going to necessarily work for the both of us. Cause we're each going to learn in a different way. Our body, our chemical makeup is different. Our genetic makeup a bit different. I think, Yeah.

If we can realize that in the other elements, we are very similar, then hopefully we can come together more easily, and I think the online world magnifies that divide more.

[00:19:32] Damaged Parents: Right. And I think what I hear you saying is you're having an experience of us having this discussion of this podcast. I'm also having an experience of us talking on this

[00:19:42] Kyle Spyrides: Yes, the self-talk.

[00:19:44] Damaged Parents: And then the listeners are going to have a whole nother experience of their own. So every single person, then who's this end is going to have their own experience of what they hear in, what, they recognize or what they take from the podcast, which I think is fascinating.

One of the important things you said though, was, you know, we have to think about what's important.

[00:20:04] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah.

[00:20:05] Damaged Parents: How did you get to, and this is the struggle. Cause usually I get the struggle way earlier, but we were out, it's so much fun talking. How did you get to figure out or come to the conclusion of what is important?

[00:20:20] Kyle Spyrides: By having my, chest cut open pretty much to be blunt straight, straight to it. Um, Yeah. I suppressed a lot of emotions when I was younger, so , I suppressed a lot of trauma. A lot of challenges that I went through. I didn't have the how should I say the most normal or easiest sort of straightforward growing up experience I had bit of a rough teenage sort of life.

And yeah, my heart goes out to everyone. That's the teenagers going through a tough time. And all I would say is that there most certainly is light at the end of the tunnel. However, what I did at that time was I just suppressed a lot of emotions and feelings. And I certainly didn't feel like which I hope is changing in our culture.

Certainly didn't feel like as a man, I could really, open up and talk and it's something that I really, generally speaking again, is something that I really admire about females is that they seem to have this innate ability to communicate and talk and open up, and share and talk about wounds and not feel.

That shame and guilt as much as maybe men do. And that's just a generalization, but you know, you look at suicide rates. I think it's, seven out of every 10 suicides is men, and I think it's that suppression emotion and that feeling of, can't talk about it.

And that's one movement that I've really enjoyed seeing lately, especially what I've been seeing in Australia and New Zealand is the mental health movement for men and men speaking out on things like men's shed and the brotherhood, different groups online. But yeah, so for me, I suppress a lot of these emotions for years.

And then I genuinely feel like that effected my health.

[00:21:53] Damaged Parents: Real quick. Can you explain for you what suppressed means like and what your experience of suppressing emotions was like?

[00:22:02] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah, for sure. I mean, you can suppress it so much, but it does show up. It does creep out in, you know, bouts of anger and, frustration. So for me, it was, I was dealing with trauma with, a close family member and I was dealing with trauma growing up and then it just thing after thing impacted that I had family member, very close family member of mine murdered back home in South Africa.

And then a year after my, grandfather passed away. So eight months after, so it was, yeah. Knock on effects of things that needed some sort of emotional healing or needed a valve needed a release. And so by suppressing, I just didn't communicate to anyone. , I didn't talk about it. I kept it all on my chest, kept it all in my own head.

Which I think is something that most of us do is that we think that it's us against the world. Or we think that we're just going through this, but we don't realize everyone's going through something. And so at that young teenage age, you just kind of hold it in. And then my one release was rugby.

So I would go into the gym. I would, do weights. I would build my body. Cause I used to have, I used to be very scrawny, little kid, like?

neck and like the tiniest little shoulders. And then it just went, it was just slim all the way down to my toes. So

[00:23:12] Damaged Parents: So you really wanted to work out and build that muscle then. Huh?

[00:23:16] Kyle Spyrides: yeah.

[00:23:17] Damaged Parents: But that was probably a good way. If you're angry and frustrated, rawr, you know, like let's get this out.

[00:23:23] Kyle Spyrides: Exactly. Exactly. And I could do it in a quiet way and I would have like my friend group that would, like, I'd go away for a little period of time and I'd come back and they'd go, Oh, my God. Like, you filled out your frame or your, muscle and, know, young kids, like they don't, how should I say not admire, but they look at different things like, oh, like, look your muscles there.

but for me, it was just, I was going away and doing the work quietly. And it's so interesting because it was another guy who would announce every time. Yeah, he would getting off the train and going to the gym and all the supplements he was taking, it could announce everything. Today he's ripped and he's doing those bodybuilding contest.

So he's done a fantastic job, but at that time there was no change in his physical appearance, but he was announcing what he was doing. And so he got a lot more slack where I was just quietly doing the work and then coming in front of everyone and that they would see the difference.

[00:24:15] Damaged Parents: Did lifting the weights ultimately help you release some of that emotional tension or was that more of a process, a mental process were in, you had got to integrate that into who you are and what you stand for?

[00:24:30] Kyle Spyrides: I think it was probably like, you know, you're in a row boat, there's a hole in the boat and you're, you've got a bucket and you're, Putting water out of the boat just to keep it afloat. There was definitely not a lot of deep healing done. But I was, keeping mentally sane and sharp and I was doing something positive, day, like doing something that was positive and, helping my mind, I think I exercise today and I always look at it in a different way than I did when I was younger.

And it's kind of like, wow, I'm really exercising from my mind. Like this is for my mental clarity. This is to allow my brain or my muscle as well. My grandfather would say it. was a joke, but you know, my muscle up top to breathe, to actually, get out of this whole everything's up here.

And everything's so closed in and just breathing and get open. And just to open

the mind a bit.

[00:25:18] Damaged Parents: So what I hear you saying that there's something special that happens when you're moving your body. That helps also what's happening in your mind and almost takes, you had held your hands up to your head. Like your head was in a little box almost, and, there's like a release, like you became free, , you spread your arms like that.

Do you think that moving your body then, or maybe this is what you're saying is that by moving your body, you were better able to mentally integrate some of those other things and kind of process through the pain.

[00:25:51] Kyle Spyrides: A hundred percent. And I think one thing that this relates to is if we're looking for answers in life, or we're looking for solutions, or we're looking for help. Man, like a lot of that can be found in history and it can be found that looking at, like, what did the ancient Greeks do? What are the ancient Romans do?

What did they eat? How did they exercise? What did the Peruvians do for medicine to heal themselves? Like how did they look after themselves? In England when you were not so well, why did people go lived by the ocean?

Because the negative ions that, that actually release stress and so much positive things to your health, so when you got sick that you would go for a little while to, to be by the sea the seaside. So a lot of these things that I think that's one of the things about the, I guess, I don't know if this is the right term to use, but, or if I enjoy this term, but you know, the human animal, I think, we think like, oh, technology and future and it's, and it gives us so much, don't get me wrong.

It really does. But there's a lot of things that we have worked out, but we just haven't reintegrated, relearned or considered. And I had a kid at school who really taught me this. And he was writing in all these different olden times of, writing. And I kind of said something to him like, oh, you know, like why I can tell that older and stuff, like history sort of stuff.

And he like really made me understand he's like history is so important. Like it's so essential to learn from like, there's so much there, there's so much already there that we can actually learn from. And so, if you look at something like stoicism, which, really is just the philosophy of.

Coping with mental I guess Disturbia, or it it's, really like a philosophy of life that really kind of, detached you from all the worldly or physical or mental shackles. And in that sort of philosophy is, to exercise for your mind, for your soul, for your spirit and I think it's such a, important thing.

You know, and it gets lost in the kind of, oh, you exercise to look good or you exercise for the pecs or the abs or the glutes or, and all that sort of stuff. It's like, no, no. One of the greatest things is for the mental clarity, it's for the self-worth you know, and it is in a way, like, for me, I think, it was a bit of a healing process, but obviously didn't help me enough. I obviously have to, you have to go and talk about it. You have to open up and you have to have a valve release. So for me it definitely did help at the time, but obviously he didn't do everything.

[00:28:11] Damaged Parents: I think, yeah. Integrating that into who you are and saying, yes, this is part of me and I'm also these other things that I really like, right? Like that's hard. And, it's definitely a journey and I just, I've got to hand it to you. So I have another question. I know we're running short on time a little bit.

[00:28:29] Kyle Spyrides: Sorry, we're getting so much. Yeah.

[00:28:31] Damaged Parents: I know I'm enjoying this conversation a lot.

I love it when I totally go up. No, I'm not going to go off topic. No. When you said on your sheet I asked what has been your biggest struggle and your answer was healing my heart naturally. Now. Was that literally metaphorically, all of the above.

You got to tell me what you meant by that, because I'm way into the heart right now on many levels.

[00:29:03] Kyle Spyrides: Awesome. Awesome, Angela. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's all of the above a hundred percent. So suppressing all those emotions, suppression, all those feelings. I actually work well. Someone else made me come to the realization of this. And kind of said, do you think the emotional weight and emotional impact actually had an impact on your health?

And I never really considered it, but it makes sense because you know of how much our emotions can affect us and the amount of trauma that I was shoving down. No wonder I had what happened to me. So about two months after I left school I was at the gym one night working out, came home, sat on the couch and all of a sudden I got really, really hot.

So I stripped all my clothes off. And so I sat there but make it on the couch. all of a sudden independence day was playing on the TV and, so I was, excited to just kind of tune into that, but Yeah.

so I got really hot. took all my clothes off, then a split. Second later I got really cold, put everything on jumper, on everything.

So that was the first time. The next night I went to get some ice from the from the freezer, went to the kitchen to some water and ice, and then I collapsed on the ground. I just laid there for a good 20, 30 minutes. And it It felt like that long, but I was, conscious, but I couldn't move my body.

I couldn't get up. And then I started getting more and more sick. I went and saw a doctor the next day. Doctor said, I think you've got gastro, take these tablets, went home took the tablets, threw them up straight away. And I went, okay, there's something seriously wrong here. I went to my uncles and my uncle was a chiropractor and he saw me walking down the hallway and he said

this kid's got a virus. You need to take him to a doctor. Or, if the doctor doesn't seem to hospital, you need to take him to the hospital. That he's seriously, you got a serious virus. My uncle was a chiropractor and the same as my stepfather in Australia chiropractor, but they had a lot of other modalities and understanding, and they really knew a lot about healing of the body.

And so I went to the doctor and this doctor was a lovely doctor. He was the doctor I had for about 10 years in Cornella. And, he quite a few years ago, I was telling him a few things about my life. And he gave me this book called Hope. The title is hope, and it had all these quotes in them these beautiful landscapes and quotes.

So he wasn't, your normal doctor. He was, something really, really special. And yeah, and he, grabbed my hand and he looked at the tips of my fingers. And he said, you see these red dots? I said, yeah. He said, you've got an infection on your heart. And then I went, what? He said, yeah, you've got an infection, your heart, you need to go to the hospital straight away for tests.

So got rushed in the ambulance to the hospital. And then I was, down somewhere in the hospital. And I said to my family, oh I can't go to the toilet. And then the nurse came over, check me and she saw my paperwork and said, why are you here? You know, there's been a mistake made, you were supposed to go straight through the ICU.

The reason you can't excrete is cause your organs are literally shutting down. And so then I got rushed through professor came over and he said, Carl, we're going to put this pipe down your throat and you're gonna go to sleep now. And at that time Angela, I was so sick I didn't really take into account everything that was happening. So I was oh, okay. Yep, sure. That sounds fine. That sounds gravy, like cool. Put me to sleep. So I went through that and I was put into induce coma and then this is where the story takes a real turn. My mother called my stepfather.

So my mother, my grandmother, my Australian grandmother, my South African grandmother were actually around a bit and my mother called the hospital time. She called my stepfather and he was living in Ireland at the time. And she told him everything was going on. She told him that, cardiologist just doesn't think I'll make it through the night.

If I operate or if I don't operate other way, just doesn't think I make it through the night. But the cardiologist wants to operate. And so she didn't know what to do. She had to make a decision and she trusted his opinion. And he said, look, I'm obviously not there. I don't have all the data, all the information.

But if you want an opinion, like, I just think he's too weak to operate. Let him go through the induced coma, but at the end of the day, it's your decision. so she had to make a call.

[00:32:48] Damaged Parents: That's tough.

[00:32:49] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah, it is tough.

Yeah. And I'm, really grateful that she made that call.

And I went through induced coma. I didn't have the surgery. I woke up about a week later, had my favorite Australian meal. Weet-Bix I ate it and then just vomited straight down into my gown. So it didn't last long. And then I started to get family come and visit me and all these, different sort of things and I wasn't totally sure what happened.

And no one was telling me and I went in for my stepdad, cause my stepdad flew over. And so he came over and he told me, he said, Kyle your not meant to be here like a whole year. Like, you know, I don't know how you survived. You had a 33% chance of surviving when you came into the hospital like with this, condition.

this bug is at three centimeters and it's eating a hole into your heart.

[00:33:30] Damaged Parents: Wait. So you literally had

[00:33:32] Kyle Spyrides: a bug,

[00:33:32] Damaged Parents: a virus type bug or a bug .

[00:33:34] Kyle Spyrides: a bug so I had a bug that was attached to my heart and it was eating a hole in my heart now in the long run. And I'm sure you want to know all the medical details? So the first question that I get is how did you get it? I often get that question, the cardiologist, multiple cardiologists and surgeons put their heads together.

And there were eight, reasons of why they thought I could get it, but at the end of the day said, none of them were strong enough, like to prove that it was this reason. And so they said, at the end of the day it was a one in a billion chance that you got this, unfortunately you know, because one of the things was, Oh, your heart must've been weakened.

And then because your heart was weakened. Maybe you had a cut lip or something like this, or maybe something that the gym when you're working out. But the thing is I was playing rugby every Saturday and Sunday, and I was really fit and healthy. And so I didn't have a by what they counted, what we all counted I didn't have a weak heart.

So that's the first question. The second question is what was it at first? I thought it was golden staph and then they said it was general staph and then they said they weren't. Sure. So yeah, so I can't give you exacts. But Yeah.

And staph is obviously the bacteria, that's all around our mouth and on our hands, something that we live with.

 So I thought that kind of, got in but they couldn't determine what had happened. So anyway, I was there and my stepdad was there telling me everything. that he said , Here's the paperwork, the medical paperwork. You can go and have this operation now, what's going to happen is they're going to cut off part of your heart and they're gonna put this metal attachment.

And you're going to be on these meds for us, your life. This is how your life's going to be, implicated and effected. And you can't do this. Can't do these kinds of, I was 18 at the time. So I was just like, wow, like that doesn't look that doesn't look rosy. It doesn't look to, to swell.

So I went well, okay.

And he said, there is another option. And I went well, what's that? And he said, there's this thing called the alkaline diet. And I said, what's that? He said, The base premise of this diet is that you starve the bug of anything that it feeds off. So you basically have a juice diet that's based on the alkaline scale.

And it's a fast and the bug has no sugars, no protein or carbohydrates, really to kind of feast, to sustain it. And eventually you changing the ecosystem. And then the bug dies as off dies out. That's the theory behind. And so I went, you know, has this worked before? And he said, yes, with his girlfriend back in Ireland, a different sort of people with different sort of things it's, it has worked but he said at the end of the day, it's, like a chance, and I went, geez, all I know is really lifting weights and eating protein.

Yeah, you know eating six eggs and, steak and, that's my nutrient capacity as a as an 18 year old playing rugby. So I went look, do you really believe it could work? He said, yes. And I went, look, I trust you. You've always done right by me. So let's give this in a world.

And so we started this alkaline juicing diet. My grandmother got me meditation tapes. I started doing meditation, like when I never used to do this, I started doing visualization and learning about the heart and where the valves were and bringing my fingers over the heart and saying heal.

I only did that in the shower. Cause I was out of my comfort zone.

[00:36:33] Damaged Parents: Okay. So you literally were focusing on your heart and meditating as if like you were breathing through your heart in some way.

[00:36:42] Kyle Spyrides: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I was doing everything, anything I could do vitamins all sorts of stuff that I could do to support, to assist me in trying to get rid of this bug naturally and trying to give my heart literally a fighting chance now. I'm sure you can appreciate this.

This didn't sit well with the accommodation I had in the hospital. So for me, I didn't realize that, you know, I grew up very naive, like, thinking like every fireman's good, every policeman is good. Every doctor is good. Every everyone's just a good hunky-dory person.

There's no egos involved. There's no you're not doing, as I said there's none of that stuff involved, so I learned quickly on that's, they didn't appreciate me trying to heal my heart naturally and being in their care and being in their environment.

And then majority of my family were upset or saying you know, who do I think I am? Or what about what I think I'm trying to do? We had our first experience with our cardiologist and he was. upset with us, cause he just want to operate straight away. And in order to operate, I had to cut a big chunk of my heart off.

So I just wasn't keen on doing that, and I understood the ramification. I understood it was very tense times. At the end of the day, I totally understand every side, but we said to him and lucky on my stepdad, what size is the bug I have to get to until it's a non issue, you know what size it wouldn't give it to us.

And it was like pulling teeth, come on, come on down. Eventually said, look, we get to 0.5 centimeters. It's not an issue. We look at each other went great. Okay, we'll keep going with this plan. He walked out in a huff and puff. We kept going on with the plan. Like some of the nurses were really kind to me.

Some of the nurses was saying, I'm gonna throw your vitamins out and we're threatening to throw my vitamins out and very upset with me and saying who do I think I am taking my health in my own hands. So it was very intense time for an 18 year old to kind of go

[00:38:19] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Like really you were hearing that from, they were wanting to not let you choose what you wanted to do to your body,

[00:38:28] Kyle Spyrides: Yes. Yes, literally. Yeah. And that was a very shocking, like realization of mine, I kind of, I think, like I said, I got to a certain point, well, okay, look, I understand. They want to do what they believe is in the best interest of my health, but then it kind of became very intense.

And I was. like, my God, like, not give it a rest, but kind of like, I'm trying this thing, I'm here in the hospital. I'm following that but I'm just trying this different thing in the moment because I just don't want to cut the chunk of my heart off, like, okay, well,

listen to me. I don't want to take this chunk.

[00:38:54] Damaged Parents: Right. So it was like they couldn't trust the, you would make the best decision for your future self.

[00:39:01] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah, yeah. And one of the nurses was really kind like, she and I became friends because she kind of respected it the other ones didn't, and then a lot of my family didn't. A lot of my family were like, why are you going against the given advice?

Why, like what do you know? And so I literally only had a very small group of people in my corner. I had my grandparents, my grandparents were there with me, like, no matter what, and my grandparents actually pretty much raised me. So they were there in my corner. And so is my stepfather and my mother was coming in at the time.

And so I had, my small little team. And then anyway, so at the three week, mark, the cardiologist comes in and says, all right, we're gonna operate and then what my stepfather Ward says, hold the bus, hold the bus. Like, what's the like figures, give us the paperwork what's going on. Yeah. And then it was again, pulling teeth, you know, he wouldn't give it to us.

We get to us. And then eventually he gave it to us and it was at 0.2 centimeters and so we went, oh my God, like this work, this whole juice thing has helped like this thing. And I'll be honest with you. I didn't totally believe in it, like I believed in Ward but I wasn't sure if it's gonna happen.

And so

[00:40:03] Damaged Parents: That's funny because I was going to ask if it was because you felt like it was because you believed in it that it worked, but you're saying you didn't totally believe.

[00:40:12] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah, exactly. Like I believed in the cause and I believed in Ward and I believed in the practice. So I believed in doing these things. So there was, how should I say there was importance in taking the vitamins there was importance in doing the visualization every day, and it was tough because I couldn't have, I couldn't have any sweets.

I couldn't have, you know, any like anything. So I believe that there was importance in everything and I believed in what I was doing, but I didn't have, how should I say I didn't fully believe

like, it was a shock. It was like, oh my God, this thing worked like.

[00:40:42] Damaged Parents: Right. So you believed in that what you were doing was the right thing to do, but maybe you didn't totally believe that it was going to work.

[00:40:50] Kyle Spyrides: Exactly. Because it was like, it was something totally out of my reality, like as my life had been, you know? So I think maybe if I had a ton of spiritual experiences when I was younger or I grew up in Peru and, you know, in Peru that's the way that they go national first and, you know, and so if I had that around me, probably would've just been like, oh yeah, give it a go.

But for me, I didn't grow up in that world, and I went to an a school and uh different sort of things so I was kind of educated in a certain way, the education I had didn't have space for this new education that I was getting. So yeah, it was amazing. And he walked out in a huff and a puff and the relationship, I can tell you how much this way too, is that I left the hospital.

And cause I was feeling so good. and so We got rid of the bug, but, the valve wasn't closing properly because part of the valve had been eaten off. So I was leaving the hospital. I was feeling too healthy. I wanted to keep investigating other options. I had probably a very strong minded 18 year old kid, but, I was being pushed out in the wheelchair and a register came over to me. And he, and this was the register that I made friends with the whole way through the hospital. And so I felt this hand on my shoulder and I turned around and was him. I'm like, ah, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. And he said, look, I'm just here to leave a message. I said, okay, you know, shoot.

you know, I said to him, like, it's been great to get to know you and he just wanted to get this message out. Okay. Tell me what what's going on. He said, look, prophetess wants me to let you know that your lungs will be full of blood. You're going to choke to death within two months of living in this hospital, your sleep.

[00:42:17] Damaged Parents: We will wait, who said? He said the prophet.

[00:42:19] Kyle Spyrides: The um, professor so that they over here, they say prof uh, as in professor. Yeah. Yeah. So the cardiologist is looking at me. He said, you're going to choke to death and asleep within two months of leaving here. And so I just broke down and I just started crying and I was just like, I just waved to the person with the wheelchair it to said get, get me, get me the hell out of here.

I don't want to be in this place anymore. So we went to a new cardiologist and as a family friend who got us in touch with like one of the top cardiologists that we could, see, and we told him about the story and then he was listening. And then he said, who's the cardiologist?

And we said, Oh, it was so-and-so. And then he said, I don't wanna hear another word. I play golf with him, often, on the weekends, I don't want to hear another word and my family's had to arch up and then start to get tense. And I said everyone out of the room. So I said, family, everyone out of the room.

And I just forced my family out of the room I internally. I just said, I need to have a good relationship with one cardiologist. I need someone on my side. I'm dealing with an extreme situation. This is my freaking heart. So then I spoke to the cardiologist had told him, oh, this is what happened.

I heal my heart naturally. He goes, oh, look, I don't believe it something else must happen. I went right. okay. Whatever, it's strike two, strike, strike one, strike two. I said, I just need to work with someone like, I need to work with someone and I don't want to replace with the metal attachment.

I said, you know, in the hospital, I was given a 0% chance even when up until I was leaving 0% chance. And then he looked at my paperwork where he says, oh, I don't know why that is cause we've run tests on you. And there's actually a 30% chance of repairing of your heart naturally like, repairing it rather than replacing, cutting things off and replacing things.

So I went, oh my God. So then I went away, kept doing my thing, kept doing my thing. In the meantime I was searching stem cell research. I was doing everything I could speak to this guy in Germany. And he said, we're not at that stage yet where we can do stem cells for valves. And so I was really trying everything I could.

And then I kept going back every three months, every three months I went back to cardiologist. He said, oh, now it's like, 50% now, 60, 70%, so eventually at about the 12 month mark, he said oh, sorry. I think it was 10 month mark. He said, it's about 70% chance of you like repairing.

Like if we're going to do surgery, we can repair your heart valve. So that way we use a bit of the heart tissue. We use a bit of cow, heart tissue, angioplasty ring, like we can use a few different elements to repair it.

I went, okay. I called Ward and I said,what should I do He said, what you want to do?

I said, I think it's time to go in for the operation. So I went in and I had open heart surgery and woke up, this Is how Angela how focused I was on the success in that moment was I woke up screaming, repair or replacement repair or replacement, repair or replacement.

So that's what I woke up screaming

[00:44:48] Damaged Parents: This is how you woke up out of the surgery

[00:44:50] Kyle Spyrides: out of the surgery. and someone grabbed my hand and I didn't go into the surgery. sceaming with that at all.

But someone grabbed my hand and they said it was a repair calls, repair. They repaired your valve. And then so yeah, so they repaired my valve. And then yeah, then I had a few more medical procedures cause obviously. Once one starts it doesn't end. So I had a few more things and it's obviously something you have to manage and take care of.

And every day you have to look after and yeah. But that was the story.

[00:45:19] Damaged Parents: So that is how you've came to the conclusion that what's important is how you leave this world in the gift that you give

[00:45:28] Kyle Spyrides: Yeah.

[00:45:29] Damaged Parents: to helping other people be able to share their emotional journey.

[00:45:33] Kyle Spyrides: Yes. Yeah.

And I think we all have it within our heart and soul and open up to your heart and soul. And I think, yeah, at that time, when I did get sick, I was very much into the physical and the material elements in the world, like playing rugby. you know building biceps scoring dates like all those sorts of physical elements, and then I think, the whole experience fast-tracked me and actually opened me up to have, spiritual experiences in my life and actually dive deeper and uncover the soul that's within me and the heart that's within me, that is not necessarily a lesson taught at elementary school.

So for me, being able to open up to that, you're able to open up your destiny you know I would open up the chess board and the pieces you get to play in your life and not making decisions constantly because you think it's the right decision, or you think you get approval or being told, this is the decision to do for making decisions, because it aligns with your heart and soul.

And so that's the mission that I'm on today is to help people become the authority over their own lives, like really focusing on becoming the authority of your life and design your destiny and, to do that. I've got someone very close to me that, , uses the same. I talk about death and rebirth, and I think, in your life, there has to be times where there's death and rebirth, you're reborn in a new way, a new consciousness, new perspective, a new

enlightened soul and a different way of looking at life. And then that way your heart's open you're in tune with your soul and you're fulfilling your purpose.

[00:47:04] Damaged Parents: I love that. Okay. Three tips or tools that the listeners can walk away from this episode with something they can do today, we may or may not have already talked about it. So whatever the universe brings to you.

[00:47:17] Kyle Spyrides: beautiful. Thanks, Angela. Yeah, , number one tip would be as hard as it is, face yourself in the mirror. If you're going to lie to everyone else in your life, and you guys through a period of time, where that's what you have to do to remain emotionally, not be submerged in emotions and trauma. Be truthful to yourself, be honest to yourself and start being more and more honest yourself and life will become a beautiful place if you can be more and more honest yourself, because yeah, when you've got one person, that one person that you're going to breathe life into this earth and leave within the turf yourself, if you can be honest with that person, yeah.

Then you can really unlock a lot of things in your life. The other thing I would say is if you're struggling with doing what you want to be doing in this life or your direction, just go. Something that I heard. I think it was from Les Brown, and I think he said, go into a cupboard.

Close the cupboard and just, I think he said write for a good little while, but go somewhere, if it's your room turn off the lights or if you need to go out and sit by the coast but just sit and just let, let, like you said, the universe, let things come through, you.

communicate with you let yourself, give yourself the space, create the space for yourself to figure things out.

Right now it's so noisy, so busy, we've gotta be doing the next thing going to be the next thing you know you just told me about a search engine that's for audio. Like, there's so many things that are in our world, and oh, I need to get onto that and I need to get onto that. I need to get on to that.

I think a lot of people are going to start coming out of working for someone and more into the owning my own business and creating my own things way of doing things. And that whole world can get very busy. So give yourself time. To just go away from the world as you know it and just be with yourself.

That would be number two. Number three. I guess probably something that we already, oh, well maybe I'll I'll change it. I was going to say my grandparents have been a huge help in my life. They raised me, they were there for me seriously tough times. And one of the greatest things I did in my life was communicate with them and sit down with them.

And my grandmother. Yeah, she was a counselor for 60 years. So when I was coming home and I was, as they say in the tunnel, like very closed off, she kept trying and kept trying and kept trying. And she didn't give up on me. She kept saying, I love you Kyle love you Kyle. You know, To the point where I would come home and I would stay underneath the house just pass my grandfather's architecture room.

And I used to call it the dungeon because I could come in the house and take a quick sharp left turn and be in my room. And as soon as I turned that door knob, she would pop up and she would jump up from the thing and she'd come to the front door and say, how's your day, and I was going through all these hard, all these things in my mind and my emotions, but she never gave up, gave up on me.

I think it's really important to find someone that you know, that you're not going to give up on and, and build those relationships. And, I would also say if you do have people that are older than you in your life, right. And maybe you think they don't think the right way as you, or maybe they say things that are a bit culturally like a bit daunting or a bit risky communicate with them, give them the time there's so much wisdom.

There's so much knowledge. There's so much incredible things that you can learn by talking to someone who has lived and experienced a life that we can't even imagine. You look at what the world is like today. Can you imagine when it was the great depression and then there was, the world wars and, these different sorts of things, that these people had to deal with.

So yeah, I would say find an old person and chat with them.

[00:50:35] Damaged Parents: That's awesome. Thank you so much, Kyle, for being on the show. I am so grateful. My heart is with you.

[00:50:43] Kyle Spyrides: Thank you. Angela. I appreciate it.

[00:50:45] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoyed talking to Kyle about how he healed his heart. We especially liked when he told us how he visualized his heart healing. To unite with other damaged people connect with us on Facebook look for DamagedParents will be here next week still relatively damaged see you then