Bonus! - Generational Mindsets Can Hurt

Justine Hernandez

Justine Hernandez is a Holistic MBA Grad of the Health Coach Institute certified in the Transformational Coaching Method. She holds nine certifications in Classical Feng Shui, and is a Gold Designated Program teacher for the International Feng Shui School and a Red Ribbon Feng Shui Professional Member of the International Feng Shui Guild. As founder and CEO of Passion Style Purpose, Justine inspires others to live their life not by default, but by design.
Justine specialized in helping women align their mindset relationship and space to create a life and business they love and feel inspired by.

Social media and contact information:

https://www.instagram.com/passionstylepurpose/
https://www.facebook.com/justine.ramos.hernandez/
https://passionstylepurpose.com/
https://bit.ly/MakeHomeaMoneyMagnet

Additional information you want us to know: Launching a Free 5-Day Course called make your home a money magnet https://bit.ly/MakeHomeaMoneyMagnet teaching you what I do with my 1:1 clients

Damaged Parents: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where unsupported, baseless, single-handed people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume 50% of the people I need are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about.

In my ongoing investigation of the damage self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges. Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience?

My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side hole. Those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them, let's hear from another hero.

Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them.

Today, we're going to talk with Justine Hernandez. She has many roles in her life, mother, sister, cousin, aunt, and more. We'll talk about how she lived her life from the mindset that she was not supported. Which meant she put expectations on others to do things for her. And how she found health and healing Let's talk. 

Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've got Justine Hernandez with us today from Passion Style Purpose. She is an Holistic MBA grad. She's an amazing woman. Who's familiar with  fengshui

subconscious rewiring in which I want to know more about EFT hypnosis, Reiki, healing, journaling. Self-care declaring you name it. She's got it. Thank you for coming on the show.

Justine Hernandez: [00:02:27] Hello. I'm so happy to be here, guys.

Damaged Parents: [00:02:30] Yeah. I mean, we're already like hitting it off. We've got so many ideas and just chit chatting about stuff, but really I want to know about the Holistic MBA, I don't hear those two terms put together very often.

Justine Hernandez: [00:02:47] Yeah. The Holistic MBA, is my certification in transformational coaching. Yeah, it was a program I took in. I can't even tell you like how many years it's been now, but yeah that was one of the main reasons why I was really excited to, I love the name, the title, and the transformational aspect. I was like, yes, that's the kind of certification I want.

I want to help people transform their lives effortlessly.

Damaged Parents: [00:03:10] So it's really more from the, cause I'm thinking MBA. So masters in business administration or is it different?

Justine Hernandez: [00:03:18] Oh, no. That's yeah. That's something completely different. I think it was just more of marketing. I mean, I wish I had a master's that would be really cool and transformational coaching. That would be amazing.

Damaged Parents: [00:03:29] Right. So does it just help then? I mean, what I'm led to believe when I see that is that it's a, it helps you build a business like you would help build businesses and things like that. Is that not the, not the case?

Justine Hernandez: [00:03:44] Well, the Holistic MBA is a certification training that I took to for my practice. So for me as a fengshui expert and my background coming from the self-help world, I really saw like the connection between the subconscious mind and our beliefs, our behaviors, our traumas, and our mental and emotional states reflected in our space and our environment.

And so I wanted to take a training that really helped me Teach my clients, how to rewire their subconscious in a way that felt effortless by creating awareness of the things that are actually blocking them, that they're not consciously aware of. And so it's a technique of like understanding your psyche in a sense of like your different protectors and different parts that come up depending on what triggers show up for you.

And so I find that when people go through my method You know, there's a lot of like emotions, a lot of things that come up because  we're digging up stuff that needs to be integrated and healed in the body. And so I thought that would be really awesome to have some type of training to be able to help people really work through the mind stuff that tends to flare up for people whenever we're stepping into a new paradigm or a new way of being, there's that weird sense of like,

oh my gosh, this is so uncomfortable. I'm afraid, like all that. Yeah. Like chatter and that energy. I find that I love helping people in that space to be able to transition effortlessly.

So that they can look at, oh, I'm just growing. I'm expanding. I'm stepping into a new person of who I am and creating new capacity. And so sometimes when we feel that energy, we stop what we're doing, because we think it's wrong. But that's when I'm like push into that fear, push into that energy because you're stepping into a new space and it's stepping you out of your comfort zone, which triggers you feeling uncomfortable.

Damaged Parents: [00:05:31] So weird doesn't necessarily mean wrong is really what I got out of what You're saying about those feelings that come up, that, that create the fear of, oh, dear. I don't want to go down that road because this is different and different might not be so, fun.

Justine Hernandez: [00:05:48] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:05:49] Why do we do the, you know, it's, I think it's funny cause that mindset, I don't want to do that. That might not be fun, but if we haven't seen the other side of that, how do we know.

Justine Hernandez: [00:05:57] Yeah, exactly. I try to have the mindset like a child. This is something I teach my boys is don't say no until you try it. You know what I mean? Don't say you don't like something until you try it, of course there's within reasons you don't want to be jumping off of a bridge and doing some really hardcore drugs, just to try it, you know, kind of thing like with within reason guys within reason, but like, just try it.

If you haven't done something. Be so excited so excited to try something new because you never know what's going to come of it on the other side, what opportunities, what people that you may meet. And so I'm all about like, being excited about new things, even in spite of how it makes me feel anxious, you

Damaged Parents: [00:06:39] Yeah.

Yeah.

Justine Hernandez: [00:06:40] you get over it over time.

It's a practice.

Damaged Parents: [00:06:42] Yeah, well, and the other word I heard you use was integrated. And so what that's telling me is I'm not cutting off a part of me or trying to shut down that little part. And what is your experience and how do you help your clients to integrate those parts of themselves that they want to be like pushing away and saying, oh, no, no, no, no.

Justine Hernandez: [00:07:06] Well, I guess I could just the best way I would love to share. I could share my own story that I've actually recently been working through. Whenever we're working through helping clients really step into this new energy of themselves, it starts with awareness and like for me, Like I've been digging into this wound that I have that I'm never supported.

And so this has been something that's been plaguing me for many years, that I consciously wasn't aware of that I started becoming conscious about it about three years ago. And so I started looking in my life and how this is how this belief that I created was showing. And so it was showing up in my business.

It was showing up in my relationships. It was showing up in so many different ways. And so I was like hella determined to be like, I am tired of this shit. Like I'm so tired of not feeling supported. And I'm like, why am I not feeling supported? And it was digging into this deep emotion was concerned. It was associated with my mom and not feeling loved by my mom.

And, we have like a really She wasn't in a really good place, when she had me. And so there's a lot of trauma and a lot of pain that I experienced as a baby and in uteral and as a child that I wasn't even consciously aware of because you're, non-verbal, you're just feeling stuff.

That's all you're feeling. So because of that feeling of not feeling supported. I had to really dig into my relationships. And so being vulnerable, this is the hard part. Sometimes it's like, so I have a best friend that, we get into these situations where I'm feeling, like I'm supporting everyone else.

But no one's supporting me. And I know a lot of us as caregivers, we have that same energy. I'm always giving and giving and giving to everyone else. And why isn't anyone seeing me that I'm suffering and struggling and why won't they go out of their way for me, like, don't they see me,

Damaged Parents: [00:08:59] yeah.

Justine Hernandez: [00:09:00] But a lot of times people don't see and it's not because they don't love you.

It's just, it's not because they don't appreciate you. It's because you haven't said anything. You haven't expressed your vulnerability. And sometimes there's reasons why people don't do that because they've been shut down by other people or gaslighted or told your feelings aren't worth it. So you have to work through that as well.

But you know, when you feel when I was feeling that energy I told my girlfriend, I said, I know you're busy. I am not feeling supported right now. And I'm in a really, I call them pity party moments. I'm like, I'm throwing a pity party right now. I'm in my shit. I'm having a really hard time. And I know that you like, she was going through her doctorate program by the way.

And I'm like, I just don't feel supported by you. And she's like, I'm so sorry. I can't support you. And I was like, I know, like, I logically I know she can't support me because she has no capacity.

Damaged Parents: [00:09:55] Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:09:55] But for me being in that energy, in that space of, I just need someone to support me cause I never am supported, and so I had to learn that, why do I have the thought of, why does other people have to support me? Why am I not supporting myself? And so when you start to shift the belief that why do I feel entitled that people, people need to do stuff for me.

Damaged Parents: [00:10:18] Yeah. Like what's the purpose of me deciding that what they need to do for me.

Justine Hernandez: [00:10:24] Yeah, it's, this weird, like this kind of thing of like, you're becoming so aware of why the beliefs and the triggers and the things. So like, like I said, what triggered it? What triggered me was I was depleting my energy and not taking care of myself. I wasn't being that support for me, but I was still supporting us.

So through that, I ended up creating a trigger for myself, which made me feel uncomfortable, which then I look externally to why in my life am I not being supported when in reality?

Damaged Parents: [00:10:55] oh, ouch.

Justine Hernandez: [00:10:58] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:10:58] Like you literally just explain how you created this mindset inside of yourself. And then validated it outside of yourself and blamed almost, it sounds like wanted to blame these other people

Justine Hernandez: [00:11:13] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:11:14] for the pain that you were feeling.

Justine Hernandez: [00:11:16] Yep. Yeah. And if we can go even deeper into that, and the reason why I was deflecting and trying to blame other people was because of my upbringing being abused by my mom, I would get blamed for everything. And so for me to avoid being blamed. For not being supported. I was blaming other people.

Damaged Parents: [00:11:33] Because you couldn't. Okay. So, I think what I hear you saying is because that was the role you were used to playing that you couldn't even take on that responsibility for yourself. Because then you, it would interpret that as blaming yourself instead of just taking responsibility. So it's like really having to get into how you're talking to yourself on some level.

It sounds like,

Justine Hernandez: [00:11:55] Oh, yeah, it's a lot of discernment. It's getting to know. I feel like the more you get to know your internal dialogue of yourself, the more you're able to, I don't like to use the word control, but I'm going to use it because type a personalities, if you're like that you like that sense of control.

And so the more you understand your inner dialogue and your inner world and how it's How the extension is showing up in your environment, in your life and all the things. It really helps you empower yourself to normalize your experience, that life isn't happening to you.

Life is happening and you're creating meaning to those things that are happening based on your experiences of the world and how you view the world. So, If you want to shift your experience, you have to shift your mindset. You have to shift what you're projecting out to validate the belief that you have on your internal landscape.

Does that make sense?

Damaged Parents: [00:12:47] I think so. I think what I'm hearing you say is that by changing these beliefs, you're able to change what you see in the world. If you're feeling like you were saying non-supported, or maybe even you've got a money magnet, a course, that you're putting on, maybe there's a sense of scarcity in the household or in you, you, yourself as maybe the head of household or a partner in the head of household.

And. And if you are coming from that scarcity mindset, it would be really hard to generate and create like that makes me think of someone I know who's almost always come from a scarcity mindset and just, as things seem to get better, one thing after another just comes at them and it's almost like. I don't know that some of those things are controllable, but maybe it's like calling it into the universe or calling it into being from the universe. I'm not, what are your thoughts on that? I mean, I want to hear it cause you've got this course anyway, so we should talk about it.

Justine Hernandez: [00:13:52] Okay. I love what you said and I'm like, okay. It was like going through and I'm like, all right, let me get my thoughts together. Cause I'm like, yes. So I have a course called Make Your Home a Money Magnet, and it's just bringing awareness to your space. Most people are sitting on so much abundance and they don't even realize it because of the belief, and some of the belief of lack mindset is passed down from generation to generation, and I also talk about.

The great depression and people held on to stuff. So if you come from that generation and your family, you'll notice that over time, people start letting things go, like we're in the generation where like, let things go, like get rid of stuff, make sure it sparks joy, you know?

Damaged Parents: [00:14:33] Yeah. Or even like, don't use this because it's important and I can't replace it or, like this,

Justine Hernandez: [00:14:40] yeah. So

Damaged Parents: [00:14:41] ever met somebody like that. We're not going to use that because it's important to me. So we're not even going to enjoy it in the moment.

Justine Hernandez: [00:14:47] Or like when you buy yourself some like sexy sheets for your room and candles and you don't use them because you're waiting till you have a partner.

Damaged Parents: [00:14:55] Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that could be a scarcity mindset. I could see that.

Justine Hernandez: [00:15:00] It's like, why can't you  romance yourself? You know what I mean? Like take yourself on a good date,

Damaged Parents: [00:15:05] right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:15:07] buy yourself some flowers, but yeah, the scarcity mindset, they comes, it manifests itself in many different ways. Depending on your family is dynamic, who brought in the money who took care of the household, who did all the different kinds of things.

And also for us as women, as we are stepping into this. We have the ability to be entrepreneurs. We're the first in our generation, before women stayed at home, didn't have a lot of rights. Weren't doctors, weren't in government, all those kinds of things. So there's a mindset that we're also working through in a very cultural of aspect as well.

And so there's so many layers to why, things happen the way they do. And so it's important to dive deep into that so for me, like through my process, I talk about awareness. My, like I have a a method, so it's like awareness minimizing, celebrating simplify and amplify. And those are the steps of like becoming aware of your environment.

What's going on. What's not serving you. What can you get rid of that? Isn't, that's creating guilt or shame, or what can you get rid of and make some money so that you can like have money to pay off debt or have money to go towards the things that really are important to you? And simplify, it's all about making your life easier.

Like we have busy lives and why make your life harder on yourself? Who wants to spend all day cleaning up their house? I sure as hell down. And so I make sure I have systems in my environment to support my lifestyle.

Damaged Parents: [00:16:37] Yeah, no, I, hear you on that one. Oh, I don't, I have caregivers and I don't even want to see them cleaning all day. You know, if I jokingly said to the kids when they were young and don't give me trinkets, I don't. No because I don't want to dust them. So why would I want someone else to dust them? You know, Like that's just seems like, mean to me.

Justine Hernandez: [00:17:01] I know. Right? So like all of this, like ties in with, what we've been taught, like kind of what we've been talking about. Like all of the belief systems that we have, that stop us from what we want. And so when you are stepping into awareness, it becomes a lot easier to make a shift because you're aware of what needs to change and when you become educated and what needs to shift, it's easier to choose yourself than it is to someone telling you, oh, you need to choose yourself and you should do these things.

It's like, yeah, you should do these things, but you don't see the value. So if you don't see the value, it's because you don't have the awareness. And if you don't have the awareness, you can't make the shift and the change that you want

Damaged Parents: [00:17:43] Yeah. And it's almost like people have to get there on their own because I don't know about you. When I hear those, you, you, you, you need to do this and you need to do that. I actually become defensive and I'm like, yeah, right. You need to do that.

Justine Hernandez: [00:18:00] I know, right.

Damaged Parents: [00:18:03] So what are some of the best ways if you see someone around you, that's in that struggle and it's really easy to want to say you, you, you, what would be something to do instead?

Justine Hernandez: [00:18:14] Well, I think, what I teach a lot is teaching people how to hold space for one another in a judge free environment. I work with a lot of people in their personal environment. And I get a lot of, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Don't like, oh my gosh, you know, there's all this, like I apologizing,

Damaged Parents: [00:18:31] Like don't look at my mess, apologizing, Like if you go to their house or something and there's a mess, it's like,

Justine Hernandez: [00:18:36] I'm so sorry.

Damaged Parents: [00:18:38] Right. And it's like, yeah, I totally judged you based on your mess. Not,

you know,

Justine Hernandez: [00:18:42] I know. And I'm like, I go into people's spaces. It's there. It's your sacred space. So it's a non judge free zone. It doesn't matter. I want to get to know you and what's causing you to feel this grief or this frustration that you're experiencing or feeling like you're blocked and not being able to really manifest what it is that you want.

Creating containers and space for people. So my number one thing. Create space for someone in a judgment, free environment. And when you create that environment for people to be vulnerable, and it gives you a door of opportunity to speak into someone's life with their permission.

And I'm one of those kinds of people that I listen. And then when my opportunity presents itself, for me to speak truth into someone's life, I will take the opportunity. But until then, I don't say anything. I just listen,

Now if they're tend to be like an energy vampire and people that tend to complain about the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

And they're just there they're racket. So to speak of like, they get attention by complaining, then that's a different kind of energy. And I would try to stay away from that as much as you can.

Damaged Parents: [00:19:52] Like you're talking about the person who's taken that on as an identity, like this is. I am depression. I am anxiousness. I am a complainer instead of just being like that's a feeling instead of I'm having a feeling and I don't like it. Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:20:10] Exactly because there's, I mean, like for example, if I call my grandmother, my grandmother she'll complain about everything in the, over, under the stars and the moon. Like that's just her personality. So her energy doesn't suck me dry because I know. And because I know it doesn't bother me, but if it was someone that I didn't know, and then I'm building a relationship with, and they're constantly doing that.

To me that is more of an energy leak than it is me trying to help someone to me that shares that they don't really want change change

Damaged Parents: [00:20:40] Right. So. like that person is trying to take from you something you're not capable of giving in that moment or they're being needy. And how did I think it was Marshall, B Rosenberg where I learned my judgment of someone being needy is usually when I can't give them what they need, but they need that.

 So instead of acknowledging that and saying, Hey, I'm not capable of giving this to you right now. Maybe someone else can give this to you right now. Like that sounds like something like that would be important too.

Justine Hernandez: [00:21:10] Yeah. And that's like creating healthy boundaries, you know, and having great relationships with people. Like, whenever I talk to my friends and like I said, like I'm having a pity party. I usually ask them, Hey, do you have the capacity to talk I'm in this space? And if they say, no, it's nothing personal, you know what I mean?

It's just like, okay, you don't have the capacity. Totally understand. So it's just coming from a place of like, not taking it personal because. I always say life isn't a, it's not about you.

Damaged Parents: [00:21:37] Yeah, well, it sounds like you're giving the other person room for their human experience and acknowledging where you're at and knowing that where you're at might not be where they're at. That that's okay. I think that can be difficult to learn.

For those of us that didn't grow up in homes that taught that. I mean, I'm one of those people, so that's a very difficult process.

Justine Hernandez: [00:22:03] Yeah, and I didn't grow up with that type of environment either. I actually am the person that does that in my family. I'll call them and say, Hey, do you have the capacity to talk?

You know what I mean? And so I've kind of set that trend with my family. And they also know like, I'm saying this on this, and it's just like, if people are calling me to complain about stuff in my family, this is my family, I'm usually like I don't have the capacity.

So unless you want the solution to solve, be resolved, you can call me. But if you're just wanting to just chit chat and complain, then please don't call me. So they don't.

Damaged Parents: [00:22:36] Yeah. So it's like, don't bring the drama to me 

Justine Hernandez: [00:22:39] It's a boundary setting.

Damaged Parents: [00:22:41] Gosh, there's a saying yeah. Like, just stay staying focused on the solution, like sure. There's a,  challenge and I'm going to have joy anyway, and there's a solution too and I might not know what that looks like and that's okay too.

Justine Hernandez: [00:22:54] Yeah, I think it's just being okay that everyone has their own lives and that it's not personal. We take it personal because of the meaning that we placed on it because of our trigger whatever the trigger is, like I'm not listened to no one hears me, things like that. I'm not supported, so just being very mindful of your interactions with people and, there's the other aspect too, of like, I have the capacity to support you but some people will still stick around in spite of it not being healthy for them. Because they want to help that person.

And so I always tell people like, they say in the airplane, you have to put your mask on first, before you help someone else, meaning you have to make sure your cup is full, that you're taking care of yourself and your self care, whatever routine or whatever that is. And that looks like for you and out of that, a abundance.

That's where you support, because if you support from an empty cup or a halfway cup, it's going to impact you. And you're not going to like the.  Resentment that you start to build, it's the same thing in relationships, you know that, oh, like you're keeping tally subconscious tallies and the other person doesn't even know what's going on.

Cause you're not communicating what you want. So I think it's really important. Anytime you're working with people in boundary setting, just being very clear of where you're coming from and what your intention is. And what capacity you have and, yeah, of course, there's times where I wish I had more capacity to do things, but I'm not super woman and I have to be okay with that.

I have to be okay with the people that come into my life. I'm there to support them in the best way I can. And if I can't do it, I shouldn't guilt myself and tell myself I'm a piece of shit, just know that it's just it's okay.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:36] Yeah.

Justine Hernandez: [00:24:37] It's all right, I'm human. I'm okay to be human. It's okay to not be perfect and to satisfy everyone's needs and expectations.

And I should focus on loving myself, supporting myself and what is the expectations that I want to cultivate in my life. That should be the importance and out of that, attracting really great people.

Damaged Parents: [00:24:58] Yeah. Well, and it sounds like, cause you really use this word abundance a lot and when you're referring to it. It's like, you're pointing to yourself with your hands and this is not audio podcast and people don't see that. So I just want to call that to our attention for the simple reason that I think where you first find that abundance, what I'm getting from you that you're not really saying is that it's inside of you.

You don't have to look outside it. Any thing. To have abundance. Am I picking up on that? Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:25:29] Oh, you're picking it out. Good hun well, it's funny. Cause. I totally agree. It starts with you. Like the mantra of my business is live your life, not by default, but by design. And it's the concept of just because you were dealt these cards in your life, no matter how great or shitty they were, you still have the power to shift your reality to reflect what it is you want and to your purpose and who you're meant to be.

In the world, shine, your light bright, and I'm a big believer of that, that people have the power to shift their life shift, their family dynamics shift, generational, poverty, things like that. I believe that because I came from that. And it's been a powerful tool to really help people in this way.

With my practice, with Passion Style Purpose, and really helping women align their mindset, their relationship and their space, so that they create a life that they love or business they love. And they feel inspired by it. They feel satisfied with their life and they're impacting people and creating that, pay it forward ripple effect, which is amazing and powerful within itself.

Damaged Parents: [00:26:32] We talked about this briefly before the show, and we were talking, a little bit about disability and I don't hear anywhere in what you're saying that disability has any impact on abundance and that wholeness that you find inside of yourself. In fact, it's just part of the journey.

It sounds like.

Justine Hernandez: [00:26:49] Oh, yeah. I mean, there's so many videos that I see with people that had different disabilities or cognitive disabilities. Done amazing things like people that don't have arms or legs or doing speaking engagements and talking to people about like how they're showing up in the world. And that's so powerful when people take their struggle and turn it into blessings.

For other people, it really is like this beautiful empowerment, like this beacon of light for people like beacon of hope that I can show up as myself and that's okay. I don't have to be in this cookie cutterness. Like you don't. My son tells me, mom, you're so weird. And I said, I'm proud to be weird.

That's what makes me amazing.

Damaged Parents: [00:27:34] I'm only laughing because my daughter told that to me this morning. she's like, Yeah. She went on her first date and she said, yeah, he just seems shy and kind of awkward. And she's like, yeah. It's like you mom, weird. I'm like see, it's all good.

Justine Hernandez: [00:27:53] Yep. Exactly. I'm like embrace your weirdness because that's what makes you amazing it's your magic.

Damaged Parents: [00:27:58] Well, right. I really want to dig into that part of the conversation in that you did not say that, oh, they have a disability. That's not what you recognize when you hear those messages. What you hear is that message. And what I heard you also say is that message is important. And there are so many people who need to hear it and please share it with the world.

Justine Hernandez: [00:28:18] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:28:18] I think that's beautiful because I think a lot of times with disabilities, it's really easy to believe that either I have to be the hero or I'm the victim. And there's not a lot of that in between at least I don't see it a lot in society.

It's like either they're a hero or they're over here. I would venture to say that we are on all spectrums also. Like, there's, it doesn't matter because we're all the same inside. And I'm thinking, that's what you're saying is we are all the same inside. So regardless of your challenge, join me on this journey.

Justine Hernandez: [00:28:53] Yeah, exactly. Because our challenges that we experience are what mold us into who we are and how we show up in the world. If I showed up perfectly and never made a mistake, how boring would I be I mean, there's no motivation in that.

Damaged Parents: [00:29:10] Well it, but it's really easy to get that.

logically and it's a lot harder to accept it on an emotional level. So how do you work with someone? Get from that well, I get it logically and it's fine for everyone else. And it's just not fine for me. So how do you go down that path?

Justine Hernandez: [00:29:28] Hmm, by surrounding you with people that feel and see the way that you do. When I started surrounding myself with like-minded people that had an ambition to do something big in the world, That were best-selling authors, doing sister groups, all these different kinds of things. I just immersed myself with people like that so that I can learn from them by osmosis

Damaged Parents: [00:29:53] Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:29:54] And like networking.

And so putting myself in those positions, , even if they're not even if they're uncomfortable was really impactful for me to see the possibilities, because I didn't grow up, with my family being entrepreneurs. They were all working people, so to be able to step into something new, you have to surround yourself with people that have that mindset.

And it's a stepping stone, you're not going to overnight find all these people. It's just a matter of keep on saying yes to opportunities, putting yourself out there, having conversations. You know, If you meet someone online, jump on a call with them, and if you meet someone on the street and you love their outfit, compliment them.

Like, I love telling people how good they look, I'll walk around and be like, oh my God, I love this. I'll like, literally be my husband's like, oh my gosh.

Damaged Parents: [00:30:41] I was at the grocery store with my daughter and my caregiver. And we walked in and the energy was heavy in there right. Everybody's you feel what it feels like when you walk in and some places heavy? Like there is really something that happens there. So I was like, guys, we got to start saying hi and smiling.

And even though we were all masked up, so I just started saying hi to everybody. They were slacking off. I'll tell you, I think they're like she's weird today, and sure enough, I go I walk up And this guy was just not paying attention. I'm like, hi how are you today? And he jumps. And it gets the big smile and just starts laughing.

And the energy had already started to shift, but in that moment it was like the wave broke through. And now the store was, a little more light to be in so I'm with you on that sometimes you just got to say hi, and if somebody jumps

Justine Hernandez: [00:31:32] It's all good.

Damaged Parents: [00:31:34] surprise hello today,

Justine Hernandez: [00:31:36] Oh my gosh. My little toddler walks around. Hi Hi. And if someone doesn't say hi to him, he goes, mom, why didn't they say hi to me? And I'm like, they probably didn't hear you hunny okay. Hi, it goes really louder and I'm like, oh my God.

Damaged Parents: [00:31:53] That's beautiful. Well, it's almost  like, maybe the first step of that, if someone's not used to even looking up is, you know, maybe today just look up a few times, right. Like to the comfort level. And if you're cool yelling hi or scaring people in the store by saying hello then then go for it, bring that joy, right?

Like be 100% that I think that it's like being that child again. Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:32:19] Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. Cause it's so like, I feel like as we gotten with all this technology, you think that a life would be easy on us, but it's getting like, harder, like adulting so hard. And I'm like, dude, but at the same time, I mean, we are just the way that we used to be in community and everyone had their role in doing stuff.

And now we have one person or maybe if we're lucky having two people in a household, managing all the things that a group of people used to do. So that makes sense. we're like ahh

Damaged Parents: [00:32:47] Right. Or, yeah. And then not wanting, like, there's this whole thing of, oh, I don't want to be responsible. How many times have you heard that? Or I don't want to adult today. Well, last I checked. I've been an adult for a very long time now, so I've done it every day for many eons and I made it.

Justine Hernandez: [00:33:05] Yeah. Every day is a good day. I always, I always tell people I'm like, you know what? We need someone needs to create a business. I'm putting this out there to the universe guys. Someone need to create a business that is called adult nanny services. Okay. And so they can come, they can cook for me, they can fold my clothes, you know what I mean?

They can, you know, all the adulting things that, kind of like having a nanny, but for your toddler, for your kid and said, it can be for you and they can help you with the things that overwhelm you like meal planning and like all this stuff. So whoever can create that business.

I bet you will make a lot of money.

Damaged Parents: [00:33:41] Probably in today's world, right? Because people get so busy in, I need to accomplish this. I need to do to this and then there's not like that time to find that peace within. And so I think that it's, it is probably needed. And furthermore, I would hope that instead of that person micromanaging their personal assistant or their personal nanny or whatever you want to call them, that they would be finding that time to go meditate and find that peace.

Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:34:11] Yes, but in that self care routine,

Damaged Parents: [00:34:15] Right. For real. Okay. We are almost up on time and I would like you to think of three things, tips or tools may or may not have already mentioned them in the podcast that just pop into your mind that the listeners , can do or listen to or whatever it is. It will be perfect the way it is.

Justine Hernandez: [00:34:35] Hmm. So my tools that I love using is journels okay. I don't like writing in general. Well, let me cancel clear, delete that. I used to not like writing before, because it was really difficult for me, but I love to journal. I find it very therapeutic and very helpful to kind of organize my thoughts and my feelings.

So I feel like that is an amazing, amazing, amazing tool. The other thing that I love to do that is a great tool to move things around is decluttering. So I know people are like, oh my God decluttering. And I just say, like, if you have an area in your house that, for example, you have like that junk drawer, that really bothers you and it's just like driving you crazy.

So just go through that junk drawer and declutter it after you do that, you'll feel so much better. And so just do that throughout your house. And that helps really move your mindset, moves your energy. It also creates opportunities to come your way. And I always, I love saying this, but when people work with me or start decluttering stuff, money starts to appear.

I had a lady that was like, oh my gosh, Justine, I found like all the stash of money all through my house. And I said, I told you.

Just know your home is like a beacon of abundance. Okay. So use it to your advantage, minimize as much as you can. So when you're feeling stuck, you're feeling depressed or emotional, or you're feeling anxiety. Go through your closet, go through your drawers, go through whatever area that's easy for you to declutter and get rid of stuff because that will help move whatever the emotions and the feelings that are going through in your body.

It's kind of like a external representation of a physical movement that you're experiencing.

Damaged Parents: [00:36:11] Right.

Justine Hernandez: [00:36:12] Yeah.

Damaged Parents: [00:36:13] Well, and just be in that emotion, I think. Yeah. Can I add that? Can I add one for you?

Justine Hernandez: [00:36:18] Yes. Being in that emotion. And sometimes it takes days and sometimes you'll be obsessing over it, your mind is just going, going, going. You just take your time. I also like doing yoga nidra that one's also a great way to get in your body and instead of your mind, a lot, and it's like a 20 minute just feeling your body parts, like every piece of your body and just being present.

So any exercises for be present practices are really, really great tools. And I highly recommend them for processing emotions and lots of nice hot baths epsom salt

Damaged Parents: [00:36:52] baths

that's right. Love it. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. I've thoroughly enjoyed our conversation.

Justine Hernandez: [00:37:00] Thank you so much. Oh, and really quickly for those of you that want to learn more about how to bring this stuff into your environment. I'm doing a, make your home a money magnet course starting August 2nd through the through the sixth. So if you're interested, I would love to have you, it's a free five day course for you and it's live and yeah, I would just love to connect and I love new Facebook friends and Instagram friends. So come say hi.

Damaged Parents: [00:37:23] Perfect. Thank you so much, Justine.

Justine Hernandez: [00:37:26] Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoyed talking to Justine about how she learned to look to herself instead of expecting it of others. We especially liked when she talked about getting to know your own internal dialogue to unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Facebook. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then