Why Women Need Pelvic Power - Oh No! I'm Incontinent
Esther Stubbs
Esther Stubbs is known as the straight talking no-nonsense physiotherapist who is not afraid to broach taboo subjects. Her mission is to create global awareness of women’s incontinence and provide solutions. She is the creator of the Pelvic Power Movement, a supportive community of determined women who are fed up of letting their Incontinence and prolapse rule their lives. WINNER of the MOST PIONEERING WOMENS HEALTH PHYSIO PRACTICE- 20/21 and physio of the year Norfolk. 20/21
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Podcast Transcript:
[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where weak taboo, no nonsense people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume. 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.
Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self. I want to better understand how others view their own challenges. Maybe it's not so much about the damage. Maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it.
There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole those who stared directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose.
These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them, let's hear from another hero.
Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them.
Today, we're going to talk with Esther Stubbs. She has many roles in her life, mother, sister, aunt physiotherapists, and more. We'll talk about how important it is to listen to our bodies and talk about things like pelvic floor strength. Let's talk
Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents today. We've got Esther Stubbs with us. She is the creator of the Pelvic Power Movement, and I'm super excited. And I think I have some interesting questions, so we shall see how this goes today. Welcome to the show, Esther.
[00:02:14] Esther Stubbs: Thank you. I'm so honored to be here.
[00:02:16] Damaged Parents: Now you're in Norfolk and I believe you received the you're the winner. So you must receive some sort of honors when you were designated the most pioneering women's health, physio practice in 2021. You want to tell us a little bit about that?
[00:02:33] Esther Stubbs: Yeah.
So that really was an honor and very unexpected kind of came out of the blue for me, but very excited to receive it. So we were. honored the award for most pioneering practice. And that kind of was around the time when COVID hit. So we very quickly took our practice, which involved face-to-face patients and classes.
And we, made that transition to online very quickly, creating courses, creating telehealth appointments really managed to take that transition of a lot of young moms, young parents with traumatic incontinence and prolapse issues onto group courses where they could interact live there in that supportive community.
And we had fantastic results, which means that we were then able, not just to impact the local community, but countries all over the world, places like Pakistan, Australia, Spain, Saudi Arabia. I love countries where they don't actually have any pelvic support, health, health support and give them some tools and information and help them cover from the trauma that they'd be going through.
So it was a great honor to receive the word, but even a greater honor to actually be able to help even more women than we were before, because normally. Embroiled in private practice and you're embroiled in the clinic. It's difficult to take that time away. I've often thought about doing it, but actually finding that time, focus and energy, to then build a practice online.
It's like building a whole, whole new new practice. But with COVID it kind of gave us that opportunity. So although, it's been terrible this pandemic, some good things have come out of it.
[00:04:13] Damaged Parents: Really that's so true now, I think. A lot of women probably don't think of the strength needed in the pelvic floor. Am I on, I call it the pelvic floor. My sister's a, what was she? A physical therapist or no, not physical therapist. She was a trainer, like a fitness person. I'm so bad at titles. I apologize.
[00:04:37] Esther Stubbs: That's fine. That's fine. I have the same. You don't know what people are called they change their titles all the time.
[00:04:42] Damaged Parents: Right, right. But am I, I think I'm thinking of the same thing. Like once you have a baby, you want to make sure, or even before you have a baby, you want to make sure your pelvic floor is strong. Is that part of this? I mean, I'm thinking it's all in the same area, right?
[00:05:00] Esther Stubbs: That's correct. That's exactly what we're talking about. The pelvic floor. I think when we young vibrant and healthy, we take our pelvic floor for granted and childbirth can be a wonderful, spiritual, loving experience, but also can cause quite a lot of physical tissue damage to the pelvic floor.
And I think the change in our circumstances, life has made us very sedentary and we have the two extremes. I have a lot of people that sit down at a desk all the time, watching TV, sitting in a car, that's changed our biomechanics of our body. And then you also have the other extreme where a lot of women are trained.
Doing a lot of high intense exercise. So we've got these two extremes and both of detrimental for childbirth because you get weak pelvic floors from sitting down and being sedentary. And you also get over tight pelvic floors. We're constantly training over-training our bodies. And then we come to give birth.
And the one hand we've got weakness there and difficulty pushing and recovering from that trauma back. And we've also got those overly hyper active pelvic floors that are very tight. So get traumatized during birth because they're unable to relax and release and allow the baby to pass.
[00:06:16] Damaged Parents: Oh
[00:06:16] Esther Stubbs: wow
So I think it's quite a complex parts of a woman's body, which is so fundamental to her, but we, because we can't see it and we don't really give it any attention prior to childbirth. I think a lot of women struggle to recover and they also struggle to find the information, which is why I developed the public power movement community, which has almost three and a half thousand members now.
And only started in January this year. It really gives a place for women that are struggling to recover with these issues. A place to go to ask questions and be supported by other women in similar situations, because I think that's what we're afraid to talk about. When you have a baby and maybe you're incontinent, you may, you know, you leak urine, when you run, when you jump, when you cough, you sneeze, you laugh
and you don't realize how many women are suffering until you start to talk about it. And I wanted them to have a place where they could come, not feel embarrassed, not feel ashamed, realize that there were millions of other women in the same position, and also be able to find some solutions because there are other groups similar to mine, not many.
But there's nobody that there's no professionals in there monitoring the situation, monitoring the conversations, giving helpful professional advice and helping them solve their problems. Because, we can all get spiral into a negative place and that really doesn't help with anybody's recovery.
I pride myself on that. It's a positive community where people support each other emotionally, as well as physically with advice and so forth
[00:07:47] Damaged Parents: Yeah, well, it seems like it would be a really sensitive subject to talk about anyway.
[00:07:52] Esther Stubbs: Yes, exactly.
[00:07:53] Damaged Parents: And I think you're speaking from. You actually went through your struggle actually pertains to why you ended up creating this movement. Right. Did you want to tell us a little bit about that?
[00:08:06] Esther Stubbs: Yeah, sure. So I actually suffered with a virus called Guillain-Barre when I was a child. And although I seemingly outwardly recovered all my faculties and my physical capability. Later on when I came to have children, myself, I realized that actually internally that wasn't quite true. And when I came to give birth, it was quite traumatic because I didn't really have control of my internal muscles.
When we go to the toilet you don't say toilet in America. Is this
[00:08:36] Damaged Parents: Bathroom toilet, but
[00:08:38] Esther Stubbs: Yeah.
[00:08:38] Damaged Parents: know what you mean.
[00:08:39] Esther Stubbs: Okay. I always, when I say that wet, I'm like, oh, you don't say that. it's an involuntary response, isn't it? Your bladder fills and you sit down and you relax. So it's not really a conscious activity.
So I didn't really understand how to control the muscles there, so that was completely continent. And I was a very active sporty person. When I came to get him, I had my baby, I couldn't push the baby out. I didn't have couldn't contract those muscles to push the baby out.
So.
[00:09:07] Damaged Parents: Okay. So funny story.
I had been dating this guy when I was really young. And he was like, you know, you've got to flex your butt muscles. And I'm like, what? You can flex your butt muscles. How do you do that? Like, and I've really had to focus. So I'm thinking like, and then I couldn't even figure it out.
So I'm thinking you're talking kind of the same thing, but you're in the middle of birth when you're having to try and figure this out. Right? Like
[00:09:33] Esther Stubbs: Yeah, exactly.
[00:09:35] Damaged Parents: How do I feel? And put that energy there.
[00:09:38] Esther Stubbs: Yeah. exactly. And just like you, if you don't know, if you can't feel something, you don't know it's even there. So you weren't even aware that your body should be able to do something, but it can't because it's, it's not something somebody talks about is it?
[00:09:52] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And nobody really talks about how to flex your vagina muscles.
don't know if that's what
[00:09:58] Esther Stubbs: Nobody talks about that. do they? Yeah, no, they don't. Nobody talks about that over a cup of tea or coffee. Yeah so cut a long story short. There was a little bit of a traumatic birth trying to get the baby out and it left me. With some issues, primarily prolapse and incontinence. And what I found was that it was a very complex journey to find the right support, even going through doctors.
They weren't very helpful. A lot of people just said, oh, it's normal. After you've had a child, you know that this is what happens and I'm not knocking doctors. They do a fantastic job, but I think so many women suffer that sometimes they can be a bit lost occationally and obviously many doctors are wonderful and wouldn't be like that.
The ones that I happened to come across, and I know that many had also and I think what I realized was when I was struggling to recover, I thought, well, if I'm a physiotherapist and I can't find the answers, how is any average woman on the street going to find the answers and recover. So that's what kind of led me into this field.
I thought, well, I'm going to move away from, which was my specialty, which was sports injuries and focused more on helping women recover their bodily functions so that they can return to normal life activities. If they, would tend to sports for tend to just picking up their children safely laughing, coughing, things that we take for granted, these women are.
Worrying about they're going to leak. So which led me to create the leak. No more course. So it's a 12 week course that women can take part in to help them retrain the muscles. No matter how weak they are. Even if they've lost that, I'd lie about to say brain pelvic floor connection, which I clearly didn't have initially, but.
like your bottom muscles, you didn't realize you had that connection either.
[00:11:46] Damaged Parents: Right. Yeah. It's hard to create. It does take practice. So it would make sense. It would be 12 weeks, now I'm wondering, I think it's already a sensitive subject because. You know, if I were to go to the doctor and say, I'm leaking, or, I've got this issue, then the types of exercises also might be I don't know about if intimidating is the right word, but I'm thinking, that from my understanding that.
People would be like, well, that's masturbation or that's this, this exercise that I have to do. And then they worry about the perceptions that have been brought down through like religion and things like that. Have you heard people come up with those concerns or have you, how do you address them?
I don't know.
[00:12:31] Esther Stubbs: Yeah.
I think, I think you're Right.
I think that is something maybe. Americans might struggle with more because you have a much greater religious influence in your lives then than we do in the UK, but there are lots of different cultural religions that would also agree with what you're saying.
And I think that it isn't something I've come across a lot, but definitely I have done it. And I think that's where clear explanation of the, why, what you're doing and Yeah. It's not going to be anything like masturbation. I mean, some people. In fact masturbation does help strengthen the pelvic floor, but is not an exercise that a physiotherapist would, give you because.
Causes those muscles to contract and stimulate and blood circulation. So it would help with recovery, but it's not a standard exercise that one would prescribe on a day-to-day basis. But yeah, I agree with you. I think it's sensitive. I think people are not use to talking about the female anatomy.
It isn't taught at school and education lessons. It's very much something that is just shied away from isn't it. It's covered up.
[00:13:44] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
It's like a taboo
[00:13:46] Esther Stubbs: subject,
[00:13:48] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And I think you're right. talking about it is well, I'd love. That's why I love that you're a no nonsense physiotherapist, because I knew I could break up something that would you know, I could see at least in my culture in America. Well, I don't want to go to that type of physical therapy because if I go there, then I've got basically this intimate relationship with a physical therapist and they're helping me learn how to strengthen these muscles.
And that just might not be I think like the thoughts go into am I ruining my relationship or, you know, like weird stuff happens in our minds sometimes I think.
[00:14:29] Esther Stubbs: I think, I think you're right. And I think.
It's very difficult when women doesn't really know or understand her body and I think generationally we are very reserved. I think, the female, we all know what a penis looks like. Come on, everybody's seen a hundred penises. The boys will know what a penis is like
like. I always say that guy could pick his penis up out of a lineup, you know, give him 10 he'll know which one it is, but a female could she pick her's out, has she looked at, her's ever in her life really examined it? Man knows his, every little detail of his, he will know it, but a female never looks at hers it's not something that's done.
It's not something that's encouraged You know? So if a woman doesn't really understand her body, then when it's broken, she doesn't really know how to fix it because she doesn't really know what it was like before. So it's kind of saying, right, it's broken now. what am I trying to get back to? I don't remember.
I don't know. So that is big part of the battle and also self worth. I think women struggle with that. Devoting the time and energy and money to recovery. A lot of women struggle with, because if they believe that this is what happens after childbirth, they're not going to take the time.
Whereas believe me, if a man's penis was broken, he'd be at the doctor fixing it.
[00:15:49] Damaged Parents: Isn't that really interesting that, that has to do a little bit with maybe some mental health and self-esteem in that and Hm.
maybe because it's on the inside, we're thinking, oh, it's not a big deal. It doesn't matter. I'll just live with this.
[00:16:03] Esther Stubbs: Hmm. Nobody can see it, , they'll fix their teeth and they'll have a nose job, but when they've serious issues. They won't deal with them. They'd rather just wear an incontinence pad or, rush to the toilet every five seconds. I'll just in case do a wee I will make sure there's toilet, where we going. I will make sure my trousers are dark. In case I have an accident, things like this, they are planning ahead, making all these just in case plans, but rather than actually solving the problem or trying to find the solution to the issue.
[00:16:35] Damaged Parents: So I'm thinking with a 12 week course though, that this is something that people could work on over 12 weeks. And by the end of 12 weeks, what are people seeing? What are they saying that they're seeing.
[00:16:48] Esther Stubbs: well, we've seen some fantastic results. Women that say, for instance, it's very difficult because as much as I can give at the end of the day, The results that depend on the commitment from the individual. So we have had some wonderful results from people that have been committed. So those that have followed the course and taken my advice and done the exercises implemented.
The tasks that I've given them have had fantastic results. They can jump on the trampoline, they can cough. They can sneeze, they can laugh, they can go back to running. We've had wonderful results. In fact, one of the ladies that was on there before she came to our core, she'd seen 16 different physios.
She's had no results whatsoever. She was bedbound. And completely incontinent. And by the end of the course, she is walking to the toilet she's continent again. And she says she can, she can now go out and do activities that she wasn't able to before. So we've had some wonderful results really.
But it is very much dependent on the individual.
[00:17:49] Damaged Parents: Right. So you had used the word prolapse earlier. Could you explain for the audience what that is and me again, because I forgot.
[00:17:57] Esther Stubbs: That's fine. No problem. So a prolapse is when one of the pelvic organs. So it could be your uterus, your bladder, or your, rectal passage. Prolapse is out. So it actually drops down from its position within the pelvic cavity. And depending on how bad the prolapse is, it could actually come out either of your vaginal cavity or your rectal cavity. So it's when those organs, basically the tissues, connective tissue, supporting them and no longer supporting them so that they protrude out your vagina or your anal sphincter.
[00:18:33] Damaged Parents: So by doing the physical therapy and the exercises and things like that. By doing those exercises, it strengthens that and brings it back up kind of like, Well, I'm trying to think of something I could see from the outside.
Okay. So if I'm able to go to the gym, we'll talk about my butt. Cause we already talked about it, right? That, that as I worked that muscle, I get a little butt lift, right. It seems to lift up a little bit. So is that that's the same thing? It just happens on the inside. We don't see it.
[00:19:04] Esther Stubbs: Absolutely. So we're working, we can't work the connective tissue and we can't change the collagen, but we can work the pelvic floor. So the muscle sitting within the pelvic cavity we work on lifting them with that lift and that strengthening, we lift up some of the pelvic organs. Yeah.
there are other reasons that the organs can sit lower.
It could be due to alignment. It can be posture. It can be your breathing technique, overactive pelvic floor, you're lifting techniques. So a lot of people tend to make the prolapse worse because they're doing a couple of activities badly. So when we tend to lift at the object is too heavy. Sometimes we might hold our breath
or bend down. So we kind of brace and push down to stabilize our core, our center of our body. And what happens is that, that internal pressure then that you're creating has to go somewhere. If you create pressure in there, it's going to go to the path of least resistance. And if you got sad prolapse or weak pelvic floor, then that's where that pressure is going to go.
People that are lifting toddlers and young children, and they've got a weak public floor that can push the organs down through those that, that hole, that vaginal hole. So just by educating women on lifting techniques and breathing techniques, we can prevent that exacerbation of their symptoms or allow the body to naturally heal.
Because after pregnant, after birth, you have about 18 months of healing, our body goes through a very big healing period. And what we want is during that period to allow it to return to as normal as possible. So if we can prevent exacerbation of their symptoms, then it gives them a good rate as possible chance of recovery.
And some of those symptoms and problems issues will naturally resolve.
[00:21:02] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like this can happen with childbirth or without childbirth then like someone does not need to have a baby in order to have this problem. incontinence prolapse, anything like that, right.
[00:21:14] Esther Stubbs: Absolutely. So as we age and we go through the menopause, it becomes more prevalent, especially because we our levels of estrogen. I've have lowered. With that , we become our tissues become thinner. They become drier. They lack the collagen fibers that keep us nice and plump, which is why people plumb their face full of collegen. So you have to remember that we don't just sag externally. Remember those tissues internally are going through the same gravitational, pull that same aging. So with aging, These changes will occur, but we can also see these issues and young fit women who do something like CrossFit, for instance, who are or weightlifting.
And also in very young gymnasts. So young women in their early teens, gymnastic doing very high intensity level exercise can often experience prolapse and incontinence as well. So Yeah. it does span a variety of women at different points in their lives.
[00:22:15] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Yeah. And I really don't like hearing that as she's going, that the inside ages, just as much as the outside, I'm not going to deny that in my head, the inside didn't age, just the, outside did, and I was already struggling with the outside.
[00:22:34] Esther Stubbs: because we can see it.
[00:22:36] Damaged Parents: Right. We just change as humans. And so if somebody is going through your course, how much time and energy do they spend each day, each week on, on these exercises can, because it sounds like it's something important to do. And do you have to take a break? Like you do it, when you'd start weightlifting, things like that.
[00:23:02] Esther Stubbs: They're all great questions. Appreciate that.
everybody is a busy, busy, you know, we have children, we have work, we have lives. So I created the course so that you'd be able to do it in no more than 15 minutes a day. I wanted people to actually commit to be able to take time for it to be feasible. If I'm going to say, a lot of courses you go and when you to exercise for an hour an hour and a half I don't have that time, I'm sorry.
I have, other things to do with my life and what, the results of the course have done is shown us that we can make a massive difference just with 15 minutes a day and on your right. So some of the lessons that I teach are strengthening, so we work out and then we have rest periods of stretching because it's very important.
And one of the things that I tried to emphasize a lot. The muscle has to be functional. It's not just about strengthening. I would say like, if your bicep was constantly contracted your arm, wouldn't be very effective, as an a can't do anything and needs to be able to link them completely relaxed and completely contract to be a functional muscle and to work effectively.
So that's what I try and teach in the course. It isn't just about strengthening because a lot of women actually struggle with two tight muscles, but give them problem as opposed to just weak or loose. So it's really trying to get that muscle back to its optimum function.
[00:24:24] Damaged Parents: I'm intrigued by the idea of strengthening and stretching. Like how do you do
that? Like, because I'm just thinking of that part of my body and I'm thinking, okay, this is really interesting. I can strengthen and stretch that area. How do I do that? Because we are talking about the pelvic floor.
We are talking about women having birth, which can cause a lot of these problems. So I'm thinking, do I have to get undressed? Do I have to, quite literally, I'm just thinking what, what is involved in this?
[00:24:58] Esther Stubbs: So that those are also fantastic questions. You don't have to get undressed. It's personal preference. If you want to be undressed you can. There's no judgment here, but the exercises are a lot of them don't involve movement that much. So we have ones that are called I don't know if you've had the word keagle
Where we literally just getting you to strengthen and lift, squeeze and lift your pelvic floor. But then there are lots of other exercises that we do because it, I like to use the example of a trampoline. So imagine your pelvic floor is a trampoline. Okay.
And you have the
[00:25:37] Damaged Parents: Yes. I'm chuckling about that.
[00:25:40] Esther Stubbs: I'm talking about one of those secular ones.
And imagine the mat is the pelvic floor muscles.
[00:25:47] Damaged Parents: So the, part that I'm jumping on is the pelvic floor muscle. Okay. Okay.
[00:25:52] Esther Stubbs: and the metal frame is your bones.
[00:25:55] Damaged Parents: Got it.
[00:25:56] Esther Stubbs: Yeah. And then the Springs that connect all the connective tissue that connects the muscles to the bone.
[00:26:04] Damaged Parents: Okay. The ligaments, right.
[00:26:06] Esther Stubbs: Yeah.
the ligaments, the tendons. Okay.
So if that trampoline is on a rock, you've put your trampoline down on the ground, but it's not a rock.
So you're a little bit tilted and that's the same thing with you, your body. Imagine your alignment is a little bit off. You've been carrying a heavy bag on your right hand side, or you've got a bit of an injury an old skiing injury or a bit of a bad back or something. And your pelvis is sitting slightly off.
Now, imagine trying to jump on that trampoline. It's not going to work quite as effectively is it? Or say you've had a bit of childbirth and those connective tissues and the tendons have been damaged and is a little bit scar tissue on one side. It's pretty tidal. There's a been a tear somewhere else.
That trampoline also isn't going to be great for jumping on. We get, I get a bit of weakness on one side. We're not going to get very good rebound. We're going to get some tightness. And that's exactly what our body's aligned. We can't just work the mat we have to think about the surrounding structures as well. We need to make sure that the body is aligned.
So if you've got like a bad back or a tight back or tight hip, that's gonna affect, the jump of the trampoline or any injuries. So in the course where I teach is to look at your posture, to look at your alignment, to do specific stretches, which will impact. The structures around the pelvic floor to allow that pelvis to sit on a steady and fan base, giving you the best chance of a perfect bounce, so to speak.
[00:27:39] Damaged Parents: I love that. So what I think when I hear you talking about that is, like that inner thigh muscles would be included because those would be the, the legs of the trampoline may be more so right. Depending on how that sits. And I know you guys can't see me now, but so I'm just turning in my chair and sitting, making sure I'm lifting through my heart and my spine and trying to check out my shoulders.
I think I'm doing okay. But then. Because even in sitting, then I think what I hear you saying is those muscles work , or relax. And by having the good posture, not just right now, but also by doing it later or focusing on it throughout the day, that would also help strengthen that pelvic floor because I'm not lounging back in the chair and just kind of leaning there.
Am I on the right track?
[00:28:37] Esther Stubbs: Yeah, absolutely. So when we're relaxed, when you're slumped, as you just showed me, so hunch down, our pelvic floor is ultimately switched off. It's in a very relaxed position. Whereas when we set up with our pelvis tilted a little bit forward, we've got a little bit more tension in there. And if you imagine you're spending the whole day in that relaxed position, but then you try and do your exercises for five minutes a day.
No, we're really going to cut it. It's a bit like eating pies all day and then having a solid for supper. You're not going to lose any weight
[00:29:08] Damaged Parents: so true. So true.
[00:29:11] Esther Stubbs: We need to look up the whole picture. We can't just take a tiny piece of the puzzle and expect to fix a problem. We need to look at the body as a whole.
We need to not only look physically, I do a lot of work emotionally and mentally releasing trauma. Letting go because the pelvis is the seat of a woman is really what makes us a woman, isn't it. It's where we, hold our emotions and our feelings. And when we've had a traumatic memory or a period in our time, if we don't let go of that, We're going to hold that tension and emotion there, and it's going to be very difficult to, take those steps forward and actually physically recover.
So we need to look at both sides to get the most benefits. And we do that on the course. We, do some emotional release and some emotional healing as well.
[00:30:00] Damaged Parents: Yeah. So it is very possible that through healing whatever's happening in the pelvic floor, that it may trigger some other things that might still need to be dealt with. and that's very real and normal. It sounds like because after all, it's already part of the course. So that's already been an experience.
It sounds like.
[00:30:21] Esther Stubbs: Yeah. I find that a lot of women who struggled to recover it's more to do with that emotional and mental state. Often than the physical one, because they need to recover together. What will happen is I can give them all the physical tools, but if they haven't moved forward emotionally or mentally, that that will keep them, that will hold them back from really making a good recovery.
[00:30:45] Damaged Parents: Right. Well, and like you said, at least in the United States, there is a lot around what happens in the pelvic floor. Not a lot of there's not that discussion. There's not, we don't talk about it. There's it just, isn't something that. I don't think , my mom was a labor and delivery nurse and I don't think we ever talked about the strength of the pelvic floor.
[00:31:07] Esther Stubbs: Wow.
[00:31:08] Damaged Parents: So, I mean, or the importance , of exercise. I think she talked to me about keagles before I gave birth, but not, I don't believe we even talked about it after. So some of what you're talking about is a little bit mind blowing that. Wow. I never really even thought about it.
[00:31:25] Esther Stubbs: Hmm, let me think. I think that's it. Until that happens to you. You don't, but then I think that's with a lot of things, but I think the difference is that, so when many women, it could be preventable. If this was spoken about before, if they understood their bodies, if they knew what to look for, if they had prepared their bodies for childbirth, with key goals with our, the breathing and techniques. A lot of us in our society tend to um, we're very tight.
We like to hold our stomachs and don't worry. We have this cultural thing that flat stomach is the best. And we tend to walk around constantly engaging those abdominals, which makes our bodies quite rounded, quite tight. And then doesn't allow that pelvic floor to relax and contract we're holding on all the time. it.
fatigues quite quickly and you get these overly tight pelvic floors. Causes a lot of the problems in the first place. But I think if we were taught correct posture, correct breathing techniques, correct. keagles, and we actually took the time to focus on our pelvic floor. Then a lot of the problems could be prevented in the first place.
[00:32:33] Damaged Parents: Yeah. So what I'm hearing you say is kind of , it's really, it would need to become a movement on some level and changes would need to be made in it. Well, out here in United States where I'm at, sexual education would need to talk about this very important aspect of being a woman and making sure that.
We're keeping our bodies in line and doing what we need to find that balance on. I mean, it's just, yeah, that's a big deal.
[00:33:01] Esther Stubbs: Yeah, it is. And I think you're right. I think change needs to happen. Right , from the first, from young children when they're at school, I think that it needs to be introduced much earlier. I know that in Britain, there has been a big movement in the last couple of years of more education menopause has just been added to the educational curriculum and the pelvic health is being pushed as well.
And I think bringing in that change will make it just more normal to talk about these things. And then it won't be such a taboo issue. It won't be so shameful. It won't, people won't feel so awkward bringing up or sharing their experiences with others.
[00:33:39] Damaged Parents: Yeah, because it is just, again, it's part of the human body in this human experience. And, I know people get wrapped up in religious reasons and things like that. If not talking about things that really at the end of the day, impact our life, you know, the pelvic floor and prolapse, that could be very dangerous.
It sounds like to me,
[00:33:59] Esther Stubbs: Well, I think, I think the most importantly thing it impacts on women's quality of life, because if they're constantly worrying about leaving the house and the next bar where the next bathroom is. Having an accident, you know, that massively, it consumes a lot of energy, anxiety, stress, fear that is unnecessary and could be dealt with.
[00:34:21] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And shortens a woman's life too, because that stress and anxiety or disregulating emotions, you know, and instead of accepting and loving ourselves for this, I mean, it's, it is a body. It's a great container.
[00:34:34] Esther Stubbs: Yeah, pretty amazing. Really, they're, we're the only species that can give birth. So I think we need to take a little bit more care of that.
[00:34:41] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Okay. Three tips or tools you would like to give the listeners that just pop into your mind because they will be perfect for the end of this podcast.
[00:34:54] Esther Stubbs: So three tips on how to strengthen your pelvic
[00:34:58] Damaged Parents: Any tips or tools, any three tips, it could be about the pelvic floor. It could be about emotional health, which whatever pops into your mind. I know this is, that's an awkward question and I do it on purpose because I really believe that what pops in is exactly what is meant to be at the end of this podcast.
[00:35:19] Esther Stubbs: Okay. So my first top tip is love yourself because you are an amazing human capable of incredible things. And like I said, the female body is magic, created by God, divine. There is nothing else on earth that can create a child, but with that comes responsibility to take care of yourself, to love yourself, appreciate yourself and look after yourself.
Take the time, spend the money and really nourish your body and soul because you deserve it. You're worth it.
[00:35:52] Damaged Parents: That's so beautiful. Thank you, Esther Stubbs for coming on the show today, you can find her at pelvicpowermovement.com. She's also on Facebook and Instagram. Thank you so much.
[00:36:06] Esther Stubbs: You're welcome. It's been a real honor. Thank you.
[00:36:08] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Esther about how, as a woman, we don't need to just live with incontinence. We can do something about it. We especially liked when she reminded us how important it is to acknowledge our physical challenges as women.
To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Instagram, look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then
