S3E1: Cheryl Kent - Saving Me from Myself!! Overcoming Identity, Codependency, and Debilitating Fear and Anxiety

Cheryl Kent - I have had the privilege of being a single career-oriented mother for over 20 years. Through my journey with God, He has helped me overcome, death of both parents, divorce when my son was 1 mo old due to betrayal of a close friend, forgiveness, identity issues, codependency, debilitating fear and anxiety. Now I am a free and confident woman in Christ, doing what I love, Life Coaching and Financial Services, empowering women to become the same!

Social media and contact information:

https://www.oneheartempowered.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/thrivingprofessionalwomenoffaithwithcherylkent/ https://calendly.com/cherylkent https://www.befinanciallyinformed.com/cheryl-kent

TikTok : @BeFinanciallyEmpowered

https://direct.me/oneheartempowered

Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents today. Do I have a treat for you? I have Cheryl Kent back! She has had the privilege of being a single career-oriented mother for over 20 years. So this might be sounding familiar through her journey with God. He has helped her overcome death of both parents.

[00:00:20] Divorce when her son was one month old due to betrayal of close friend, forgiveness, identity issues, codependency, debilitating fear and anxiety. Now she is free and she's confident and she's confident in Christ doing what she loves. Life coaching and financial services, empowering women to become the same, that confident and peaceful and free woman.

[00:00:46] You can find her at https://direct.me/oneheartempowered Cheryl, welcome to the show.

[00:00:55] Cheryl Kent: Thank you so much, Angela, for having me back, it's such a privilege.

[00:01:00] Damaged Parents: Oh yeah. I mean, you know, it's so funny because sometimes we think there's one big trauma or one big thing in someone's life and it, that's not true.

[00:01:14] Cheryl Kent: It's such a journey.

[00:01:18] Damaged Parents: Okay. So let's remind everyone what you talked. We talked about forgiveness before, and we really talked about that betrayal in some magical things happened. Do you want to go ahead and be the one to rehash a little bit of that?

[00:01:35] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely. So I, it was such a great conversation. Last time. It was such a privilege. It was amazing to listen to, again, Some of the things that God just brought up within me. And I hope it touches many, many people, many women. But again, in synopsis, what we talked about Angela was the fact that yes, I had lost both my parents at a young age.

[00:02:00] I became pregnant a month after my mother's death. And then upon going through the pregnancy. And delivery one month after my son was born, then unfortunately I went through a divorce due to betrayal of a very close friend with my husband. And through that process is when I finally. Reached out to God, because I couldn't like to the right.

[00:02:28] I couldn't look to the left. All I could do was look up and through that process of pressing into God's heart and learning about him and establishing deep intimacy with him. I was finally, it took a process of forgiving my ex-husband, my son's father, and even the woman that?

[00:02:51] he married, which was. The other woman. And through that journey over the years, it was a process of. Just learning to lean on God learning to let go. In that intimacy, in those raw intimacy times with the Lord, just bringing forth the things that I thought I was robbed of and the things that I felt I was betrayed and wronged over, watching them prosper as a couple, and then getting a new house and has a family.

[00:03:22] And it was still me. But God really worked in me. And through that, I was able to even work with my son's father, because he was, there was that blessing of him working and in being there for my son, for our son, which was more important than what the betrayal that I went through.

[00:03:45] Damaged Parents: And if I remember correctly, Your husband was pretty much on the edge of, of feeling like he was, he was going to attempt suicide and he called you as his last phone call. Right?

[00:03:57] Cheryl Kent: That was the big thing that happens 17 years later. And he had already had three kids from. Other marriage. And because I had gone through that forgiveness process and remember that when you forgive someone, it doesn't mean you're telling them what they did was okay. What they did to you was okay, it's just saying, I release you to God and I'm going on with my life.

[00:04:26] And because of that, when I got that phone call from him, I just had me. Compassion for him and his three kids that were going to be broken up. And yes, his wife was leaving him for another man. And he had called me and the depths because I was supposed to be his last phone call and he expected me just to lash out at him.

[00:04:52] But the beautiful thing was is I just. Had compassion. And then he started asking me, how did I do it? How did I make it through? And it turned into me ministering to him and he accepted Christ on the phone that night.

[00:05:07] Damaged Parents: I'm thinking at that point of forgiveness where you're able to minister to someone that it's not even just grace at that point, it's, like the love of God is working through you.

[00:05:23] Cheryl Kent: Yes. That's exactly what I felt. I can't explain it any other way. I mean, yes. A lot of time had passed for me to heal and move on with my life. But yes, it was totally the power of the holy spirit and just God's love being shown through. And the way I see it.

[00:05:43] Damaged Parents: . You are here though, to talk about all these other struggles that happened. I think so maybe that was. The catalyst to get into some of these other struggles.

[00:05:56] Cheryl Kent: Yeah.

[00:05:57] Yes.

[00:05:57] Damaged Parents: Okay.

[00:05:58] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely. I love some of the questions that you ask about your upbringing. Because I feel, you know, when I look back at my life, I did start my codependency based upon things that I didn't feel within myself that was fulfilled. And I was the youngest out of five. I was from a second marriage, but by the time I came along, most of the kids were grown and out of the house and my parents were older.

[00:06:29] So there was a lot of disregard that I experienced, not anything to my parents. My parents loved me dearly, but they were older and they were a masculine family. So they were into hunting and camping and fishing and football. And when it came to things like ballet for me, There just, wasn't a lot of interest that was involved in that. And then also there was one instance where my brother my closest, our whole brother was supposed to be looking after me on a camping event. And we were out at a park playing and, and I got lured away by younger man and, and I was actually sexually abused. And I think now looking back at that, that, that had an effect on me as well,

[00:07:17] Damaged Parents: Sorry you were how old at that point.

[00:07:19] Cheryl Kent: Oh, my gosh, I was young. I was like nine, nine or 10.

[00:07:23] Damaged Parents: Okay.

[00:07:25] Cheryl Kent: Yeah. but I, think, yes, I think that that also had an effect on me as to my wellbeing and who I thought I was in wanting to be valued and loved. As I was such a good child, that I was just left to attend to myself a lot of times, and didn't have a lot of kids to play with because all the kids were out of the house.

[00:07:49] So I think those things led up to it. Even my marriage, I'm just thinking. I wasn't really worth much being married our marriage or before we were married, we dated for four years and I tried proving myself to him that I was worth being married. And it was only when he thought I was going to lose me is when he asked me to marry him.

[00:08:12] So not only did he have issues, I had issues. That wasn't dealt with. So I do want to lay that groundwork, but of course, going through the betrayal of my marriage , and then trying to start a career, I ended up in a career of sales for. 20 years of corporate sales. And the irony of it is, is that here I'm dealing with rejection, you know, in my own wounds and disregard.

[00:08:43] And yet in sales, you get that almost every day.

[00:08:47] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I mean, corporate sales are that's hard and gosh, that's really interesting actually, now that I'm thinking about it , from the perspective of being sexually assaulted and then getting into a marriage where being worried about rejection and then having that as a career, almost, I would think that career in some ways, maybe.

[00:09:08] Maybe it, was it a way to kind of prove to yourself that you were a valuable.

[00:09:14] Cheryl Kent: 100% because anyone in a sales job. You daily have even rankings where you are compared to other representatives and where you should be and trying to gain business from clients. So you're always measuring yourself to others and. My standpoint at the time was here. I felt like, you know, I had failed in my marriage myself and that's just, what's my thought process.

[00:09:46] Right. And so at least I was going to become successful in my job. And the irony of it is, is I was in pharmaceutical sales. And one of the things that is not talked about pharmaceutical sales is that it's not a job of stability because you could get laid off at a drop of a hat. You could uh, the company could say, you know what, our drug loss, patency, we don't need you anymore.

[00:10:15] And unfortunately you no longer have a job. or it was governed a lot by legal of what you can say and what you can't say. And if you say the wrong thing and you let it slip, you could get fired over it. So there was a tremendous amount of stress and there was a tremendous amount of. And instability.

[00:10:36] And that created in me what I didn't realize at the time, our idols, that I was busy chasing instead of surrendering these things to God and pursuing God and trusting him. So I could talk a little bit more about that, but oh

[00:10:53] Damaged Parents: Yeah, no, I'm just trying to figure out I don't know if it would have been possible at that point without healing of being able to really turn it over and except that what, well, I mean, what will happen will happen, right? Like,

[00:11:08] Cheryl Kent: Right, right. Well, and that it.

[00:11:14] That were appealed through this. And the thing that, that so beautiful, the way that God works is that he never leaves us. He never forsakes as, but he has given us the power of choice. He's given us the power to make our own decisions. So even if one way is right for us, there may be other ways that we go and he'll allows.

[00:11:38] To make those decisions and in his own beauty and grace, he's still there to accept us, but it's a way for us to learn too, that the way that we choose that isn't of him is not going to be fulfilling for us.

[00:11:54] Damaged Parents: Um,

[00:11:54] Cheryl Kent: That's what happened to me. And so when I look back, what I realized during this time is that I.

[00:12:02] Giving God, 50% of me, but the other 50% was devoted to my son trying to be the perfect single mom.

[00:12:10] And then.

[00:12:10] Damaged Parents: you've had quotes up. You made quotes the perfect mom. How many of us want to be the perfect mom?

[00:12:17] Cheryl Kent: Exactly and also be perfect in my sales to be valued. Right. And then also I would, so I was chasing the idol of identity, wanting to be valued in my job and also wanting that security because for years, that was seven years into my job of sales. The horrific thing happened and I was like, And I didn't have a job.

[00:12:45] I didn't have parents to lean on and I was terrified. And that was not the best feeling. Yes. I pressed into God and sought him out, but I only sought him out. For the things of intimacy and relationship and for him to bless me with another job in pharmaceuticals, I never considered what else God had for me.

[00:13:09] So I did finally get back into pharmaceuticals, but then because of my fear of losing a job, then that other identity or. Idle came about of me wanting security. And so even through this other job in pharmaceutical sales, I became a workaholic, not wanting to be laid off, having that fear of not having stability.

[00:13:36] And those became ruling my life. And that's when the anxiety and fear started magnifying it.

[00:13:45] Damaged Parents: Okay. So in this is already after the divorce has happened. And now you're is it seven years later or it.

[00:13:53] Cheryl Kent: Yes. Yes.

[00:13:56] Damaged Parents: So seven years later and you kind of healed, but maybe not as much as you could. And it sounded like when you were talking about it, it was almost like still a little bit transactional with God.

[00:14:10] Cheryl Kent: 100% and I didn't realize it. I had no idea that it was still. I didn't see it as a transaction because I, I just had this constant burden, this constant weight on my shoulders that I had to provide for myself, that I was the one that had to work hard. I had all these decisions of upholding my household and trying to be there for my son and be the perfect mom that.

[00:14:43] I just thought that this was the way I was supposed to go. And I was just to still continue. And, and what that led to was again, extreme anxiety and fear of losing my job, not being stable. It led to not feeling valued. It led to insomnia because I worried about this at night. I would go to God with it, but only so much.

[00:15:14] and then it just became more and more debilitating. And in that process I, I sought approval from my counterparts that I worked with from my managers. And so I became addicted to approval seeking. And in that process, I had a manager that didn't know me very well, that I thought I had to prove myself and I did extra events and projects for him just to seek his approval because I didn't want to be fired and lose my job.

[00:15:50] And I was striving to get promoted within the company for stop job stability. And this manager ended up taking my initiatives the wrong way and ended up trying to proposition me to have an affair with him, even though he was married and had two other girls. And that became even more unbearable to where I almost had an emotional breakdown because I couldn't do that.

[00:16:16] I was too, you know, convicted with the Lord and I let him know. But in his process I was afraid, you know, he was well-liked in the company. So nobody really knew what was going on. Everybody liked him. And I felt like I was in my own private prison and I almost had an emotional breakdown through.

[00:16:38] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And at that point, I mean, it's still not fully trusting that God's got you. Right. , and how do you shift from that desperate? Ah, frightening, scary. Because I mean, you're worried about livelihood. You're worried about, putting food on the table, feeling like you can only depend on God, but not totally depending on God, because maybe that's not enough.

[00:17:07] how did you shift into, and what did you learn during that process of shifting.

[00:17:13] Cheryl Kent: So here we go. So, here's some more transparency because the story just hasn't ended yet with that in my stubbornness.

[00:17:22] Damaged Parents: Oh, dear.

[00:17:23] Cheryl Kent: Well, so I took some time off of work to regroup, regroup with God. I was even my doctor had put me on some medications, so I was on an anxiety medication. I was on an antidepressant and a sleeping medication.

[00:17:40] And. I did press into the Lord, but I wasn't identifying that. I wasn't trusting him that I was still chasing those idols. I was just working on recouping myself. I did, I strengthened myself. I went back to work and I was, I felt more confident with the Lord, but I still didn't realize I was going my own way.

[00:18:05] And I, at that time, when I went back to the company, I was blessed with a recruiter reaching out and offering me a dream job position for hospital cells. And I took it and I left this company just completely on good terms, seeking this other job, thinking this was it. I had made it. It was the creme de LA creme of jobs.

[00:18:30] Here's my job security

[00:18:32] and all of

[00:18:33] that.

[00:18:34] Damaged Parents: like you had arrived and you're done now. You don't have to work on stuff anymore because you're good.

[00:18:40] Cheryl Kent: So guess what?

[00:18:42] Damaged Parents: You got to work on it some more.

[00:18:45] Cheryl Kent: It was not my dream job. It was the most stressful unattainable positions. And then all of a sudden, the company had announced that they were selling after a year and a half with this job. So I was back where I started and I was afraid of. Becoming jobless. And my old position with my company came open again.

[00:19:08] So I took it without, so here I am pressing into the Lord, but still not realizing I am chasing my idols of security and being valued. And so I went back to my old position. This manager had got up at a. Promotion. He wasn't going to be my manager anymore. So I thought I could handle it. And lo and behold, it just led me spiraling and my anxiety and my fear over and over again to where I was increasing on my meds.

[00:19:43] I was seeing a therapist at the time. But it just wasn't working. It wasn't working. And that's really, when I tailspin.

[00:19:52] Damaged Parents: And what does tailspin mean? I mean, are you still working at this point? Are you able to see straight enough to do that? What's going on?

[00:20:01] Cheryl Kent: That's a great question. So at this point I was working, but my fear and anxiety was becoming debilitating , and I was losing sleep. My doctor had increased my meds and that wasn't even worth. my fear and anxiety had increased so much that my mind was racing with thoughts of becoming jobless.

[00:20:26] I lost my confidence. I was losing weight because. My anxiety was so much, my body was tensed and I was shaking all the time out of fear that whatever I was eating, it was going straight through me. So it sounds great. Right. I'm losing this weight, but when people are looking at you, like you don't look healthy, that's not so great.

[00:20:50] And. It came to the point where I was screaming for God, just to rescue me. I didn't know what to do. And because this job had accepted me back, I had a choice. My therapist was telling me that you needed to take. Medical leave, but I couldn't do that. I felt so convicted and I knew that all I would, I wouldn't rest if I did that.

[00:21:16] And so basically what I ended up doing was quitting my job, cold Turkey, because I knew that this job wasn't right for me anymore. I didn't know what to do. And this was one of the most scariest times of my life. I felt like. That was the end of me. I was basically just walk out of the door and I was going to become homeless because I couldn't find.

[00:21:38] Damaged Parents: Um,

[00:21:38] Cheryl Kent: And that's when I start, I still was thinking my therapist, but I had done a program within my church called regeneration. And it's all about regenerating your heart with God. I did that a while back when I was experiencing my other anxiety and codependency issues, I had. Gone through the steps, but I didn't fully embrace them.

[00:22:08] Like I did this time. And it was a process of utterly surrendering myself to the Lord and just basically admitting where I was at. And for the first time really admitting to him that I hadn't trusted him, admitted to him that. Yeah.

[00:22:30] I didn't know what this love was all about because I believe that he loved us as a whole, that his son died for all of us, but that I never believed that he truly cared for me, that he truly cared about Cheryl and that he truly loved Cheryl and that he was going to take care of. And I poured my heart out about that and just surrendered it and surrendered my fear finally that, you know what, maybe I wasn't going to be stable. Maybe I wasn't going to get another job. Maybe I'd lose my house. And ultimately, maybe I'd lose my son, but I was just going to fall back and rest anyways and let him catch me.

[00:23:19] And I

[00:23:20] had no choice to, I had no choice. I still kept on seeing my therapist, but I just sat with God and allowed him to finally allowed me to rest in his arms. And that's when the peace finally came. He ended up taking care of me in ways that I can't even explain even financially, I don't recommend it.

[00:23:46] This is not a process for every woman to go through, but this is the process that he allowed me to go through. And through that time, I was able to regroup and reassess in his way. Finally, instead of. I was able to look at those idols. I was chasing and finally lay them down at his feet and say, okay, God, what is it that you have for me?

[00:24:15] Damaged Parents: So it sounds like you were at the bottom of a crevasse, not just a pit. Okay. And, and there was nowhere else to go. So in that moment, even though there's no job, you don't know what's next foot somehow. There's peace. Was it like a sense that okay. God's got me and it's going to be fine, or was it still a little bit of, okay.

[00:24:47] God, what do you want me to do next? Or was it maybe both or something else?

[00:24:52] Cheryl Kent: It was a little bit of both, to be honest with you. And it took time because the medications I was on. It came to a point where one of them had an adverse effect on me at the sleeping medication. So I was getting like one to two hours of sleep at the night at night. And so that's where I was really enabled to function.

[00:25:18] So. Careful guidance with my, therapist and my doctor. They weaned me off of that sleeping medication for one. So in the beginning I basically felt numb. I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel other. The only thing I felt was fear. So I had to let myself just decompress and the way my therapist had explained it to me is when you have a broken leg, what do you do? You have to let it heal.

[00:25:50] And so it's the same thing with your mind. You have to give that time to heal. And one of my life verses is Proverbs three, five through six trust in the Lord, your God, with all your heart lean, not on your own understandings, which means lean not on your feelings, push them aside, even though you feel them.

[00:26:13] Choose to not trust them right now. And trust God with all your heart and acknowledge him with all your heart. Let others acknowledge them for you. Let others pray for you through that. Isolation can be one of the worst possible things that you could do. And in doing that, he, by knowledging him, he made my pastor.

[00:26:38] So over time when I was finally able to rest get out, even in nature, just sit either outside or go take a trip somewhere with a friend. I had a friend that, that would allow me to stay with her and just take care of me. I was able to regroup. Through that. And finally, just by journaling and reading God's word and praying and praying with others is when the peace finally came, there were times that I just didn't believe I was going to be okay.

[00:27:15] Because when you're in it, you feel like it's so real. You feel like it's going to be that way for the rest of your life.

[00:27:21] And that's far from the truth. That's when you'd have to question to God and choose him anyway, you feel the way that you do and allow him to allow you to heal.

[00:27:35] Damaged Parents: Which would be a new behavior for you at that point to kind of, it sounds like you were almost in a, I'm going to call it like a little bit of a free fall.

[00:27:47] Cheryl Kent: Absolutely 100%. It's like what you said about you know, I was in a situation where I had no choice, you know, I couldn't look to the right. I couldn't look to the left. I had a choice. I had to look up. Because if I look down, all I would be doing is spiraling down into that

[00:28:05] Damaged Parents: Yeah.

[00:28:07] Cheryl Kent: So I just continually looked up and just let go for the first time in my whole entire life, letting go of the fear and anxiety.

[00:28:18] And the key was is to retraining your mindset, to focus on God and God's heart. And focus on him and learned about him through the stories in the Bible, learning about him through other testimonies and realizing that mindset to focus on him in the present. Instead of focusing on your past, focusing on the future, because anxiety And fear is filled with what. So you learn to retrain your brain to just focus on the moment today.

[00:29:01] Damaged Parents: And I just, I think it's really interesting that you use the the, what ifs, because there's the, what is to the negative. And then there's one of two to the positive. And, but where you're, regardless that there are the two different kinds of where your mind went was to the negative when you did, what, if it was, what if I'm going to crash?

[00:29:19] What if the.

[00:29:20] Cheryl Kent: Right. Exactly. Exactly. So it's retraining your mind to God's perspective and what he has for you. And when you do go to , what is, it would be more, what if God does this for you? and that's what finally happened when I was able to finally rest And that weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I had to let my body rest because my body was so tense from the stress and anxiety, 24 hours a day, I felt like I was recouping from a car accident.

[00:29:57] And as he did that, my confidence in him started developing. And I started realizing who I was in Christ and that it didn't matter what I did, or if I felt like I had failed him or, or even my son, it was what he was going to do for me in the future. And that's when he brought the opportunity of financial services.

[00:30:23] But for me, and. Knowing that I could, my desire is to help it's to help empower women. And so that's the road that I started with.

[00:30:36] Damaged Parents: And so moving into this road of financial services, how did that trust show up for you?

[00:30:42] Cheryl Kent: Yes, that's a great question. So it started slowly but surely. and one of the things that. I through my journey of extending the olive branch out with my son's father and us working together for my son. I saw my son grow from this, even though I was going through my own turmoil and him becoming independent and him seeking out his own career path.

[00:31:16] And I say that because. In doing that, it showed me that God hadn't left and that God was working in my son as well. And so my son actually, once he graduated from school, he, uh, graduated with two years at community college and realized he had an entrepreneur spirit. So he got involved in real estate and financial services.

[00:31:41] He's the one that introduced financial services to me.

[00:31:45] Damaged Parents: Oh, wow.

[00:31:47] Cheryl Kent: That amazing. And, and so through that, Is when I became licensed. And I thought, well, maybe this is something I could do to work from home. And in doing that, I was able to provide for myself even do business with my son, which I loved. And it also got me a chance to still spend time with God and intimacy with him and realize.

[00:32:17] What I had gone through, through all of my journey that I. Had a passion and a mission to move forward and serve other women and help empower women. And so one of the life verses that God brought to me was Isaiah 58, 12. You will be called repair, a broken walls and restore of streets with dwellings. And that's what I feel felt my calling went was is to help women rebuild the walls of their hearts.

[00:32:49] And the streets of their dwellings within them. And that's where he brought to me life coaching. And so I started on my course with that, and that's how I became a Christian certified life coach doing that. And it just aligns with my core values. I found out what my core values, authenticity was one of them.

[00:33:14] And that's where I became a. Just knowing that, that the financial services doing it the right way. And also my life coaching could help serve other women and help empower them to focus on God's heart, just like I did and help him restore them and empower them in so many ways of their life.

[00:33:36] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And so I'm still kind of stuck on the whole trust thing. So, because I'm thinking if you're going into an entrepreneurial ship situation and you've been in sales before, what I mean? And there is a little bit of sales and in financial services and things like, and even life coaching, you have to explain why people need to use you.

[00:33:59] Right. So. But at the same time, there's this trust factor. I think this trusting God. So how did you, or how did it show up for you to trust God? And how did that, did that maybe shift the type of people that came to you?

[00:34:18] Cheryl Kent: Oh, goodness. I love that question. Yes. I would say what I learned through this process is that no matter what. No matter what line of career I was going to be in trusting God and relying on him to provide for me was the ultimate whatever position I was going to be in and realizing who I was in Christ and what my core values were.

[00:34:58] And what my passion and my calling moles that if whatever I decided to do aligned with my core values and aligned to what God was calling me through my journey and my past, why wouldn't he provide for me more that way than chasing my idols. And so when I realized that I put him in charge, At my business, he is my CEO.

[00:35:30] I don't control it. He does. And as long as I can show my authenticity. So with financial services, what I do is I educate families. I educate women on how they become, they can become financially free or work towards their retirement in ways that they hadn't even thought of where they can actually secure their money.

[00:35:56] That then. Is something that I am giving as a gift and, doing to benefit them that that is so much more fulfilling.

[00:36:10] Damaged Parents: So I think maybe when I hear you saying then is that by, by giving and living in the authenticity and what you really believe God would have you give, allows you to go out and teach women. And if, and then you give them all these, these tools. And at some point I would think. There's there's uh, um, what's the word I'm looking for?

[00:36:35] You know, there are things you can't just get for free because there's a value to what you're giving. but if they choose to work with you and that's God's will, , then they will work with you. And if not, then that's okay too. But you have given what you feel God would have you give them to at least get them started along my, am I on the right track?

[00:36:56] There?

[00:36:56] Cheryl Kent: 100%. 100%. So even in my coaching, for example, I realized There?

[00:37:04] are some women that cannot afford my coaching and I've just recently gotten certified to be a group life coach. So I'll be giving courses on group life, coaching, even such as terms like boundaries and things like that. I also on my website, https://oneheartempowered.com.

[00:37:28] Our videos. Video interviews of women that I've interviewed and even interviews of my own journey and my path so that women can look at these videos and. Hopefully get encouraged and motivated to move forward in their lives as well. And then within the direct me, uh, the direct me one heart empowered that I have that.

[00:37:58] Also connects women to I just started my own Facebook page, thriving, professional women and faith, where they can connect with one another to help each other, overcome their fears, the anxieties overcome, identity issues and codependency. And hopefully those are ways to, that can serve women and fulfill what my heart's desire is.

[00:38:27] Damaged Parents: Yeah, it's almost kind of like, well, I'm going to do what God says and if I make fun money at it, fantastic. And either way, I'm still doing what God asked me to do.

[00:38:37] Cheryl Kent: True. And the irony of it is, is like, this is the best place I have ever been in my whole entire life. I wouldn't want it any other way. And the thought of me being an entrepreneur was like, had terrified me in the past. I just never, ever knew that this was God's plan for me. And so I am not at all. Like I have no regrets of my journey whatsoever.

[00:39:05] I would never, ever want to go through it again, but God has me on this path and I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And he has developed me into that confident. Christian woman that I was always, that he always meant me to be through this process. So if I can help women get through this process a little bit faster than I did by all means.

[00:39:37] Damaged Parents: Okay. Cheryl, as you know, at the end of the podcast, I always asked for three tips or tools. So three tips or tools that you recommend for someone maybe fighting that entrepreneurialship or going through some, something similar to what you went through.

[00:39:55] Cheryl Kent: One thing is if you're going through.

[00:39:57] situations as mine do not ever isolate. Okay. Number one, never isolate reach out, reach out, even on Facebook groups of what you're going through. If you don't know of any call some churches, because there are different ways that you can connect with women. So highly recommend that.

[00:40:19] And then the process that I went through I just did a live training on my Facebook group. That you are, women are more than welcome to look at, but it's, it's, a process with God of developing intimacy. The first and foremost is trying as much as you can to focus, get your focus off what you're going through and focus your heart on God's heart.

[00:40:44] Learn about him in deep intimacy, pour your heart out to him and deep intimacy, whatever you're going through and allow him to bring to you what he wants you to recognize. And when you recognize that it's okay. If you're afraid to let go of whatever you're holding onto, but admitting that to him and asking him for his help is so key because he already knows.

[00:41:13] He already knows. And he loves you. He is not going to condemn you. There's no condemnation in Christ Jesus, but just surrendering that to him on a daily basis and asking him for help. And then just keep focusing on him, uh, learning verses that means something to you and your heart and focusing on that and persevering through.

[00:41:39] Is the process to starting on your freedom with God and so that he can then therefore restore you, restore your heart and empower you to overcome your challenges. That's really the key.

[00:41:56] Damaged Parents: It really is. Wow. I love having you on this show again.

[00:42:02] Cheryl Kent: It's such a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me back.

[00:42:06] Damaged Parents: Oh, you're welcome. Thanks for coming.

[00:42:09] Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Cheryl about how she found a way to trust herself and God. We especially liked when she spoke about how she healed her fear and anxiety. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Instagram. Look for damaged parents.

[00:42:30] We'll be here next week. Still relatively damaged. See you then.