S2E7: Cerebral Palsy and Dreams
My name is Katie. I'm a motivational speaker and social media influencer who also happens to be in a wheelchair. It is my personal mission to show world "normal" is just a word through education and outreach programs. I am currently working on developing my own website that is currently under construction at this time, but will be up in about a week or so give or take a few days.
Social media and contact information: To book me for a speaking engagement you can reach out to me on Facebook. You can also send me an email: speakeronwheels@gmail.com.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SPEAKERONWHEELS
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speakeronwheels/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SPEAKERONWHEEL1
A special note from Katie: Hi all you wonderful people. Thank you so much for stopping by and listening to my episode of the Relatively Damaged Podcast. I want to go on the record and say that this episode was recorded in August or September 2021. Prior to any restrictions brought forth by staff at the YMCA. When it says I work there…? I do, but only as an intern or volunteer. I do not currently receive any compensation for my services at this time. I am merely there learning the ropes and preparing for the next chapter in life. Whatever that may be. Thanks! – Katie Wheeler
Podcast Transcript:
[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents where hopeful, incredible optimistic people come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume. 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.
Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self. I want to better understand how others view their own challenges. Maybe it's not so much about the damage. Maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it.
There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose.
These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them, let's hear from another hero.
Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them.
Today, we're going to talk with Katie, the speaker on wheels. She has many roles in her life, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, and more. We'll talk about how she has had challenges because of her cerebral palsy and how other people perceive her and how she's finding health and healing. Let's talk.
Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents today. We've got Katie. She's the Speaker on Wheels. Thanks for coming to the show today, Katie
[00:02:09] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: You're so welcome. Thank you for having me.
[00:02:12] Damaged Parents: Yeah, it's fascinating. I'm so excited to hear your story. You're a motivational speaker, a social media influencer who just happens to be in a wheelchair. And I love that you say it that way, that you just happen to be in a wheelchair. How did you come to that realization that you weren't the wheelchair, if you will.
Does that make sense?
[00:02:36] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yes, it does. So that actually happened in my adulthood. Because during my childhood people all, not everybody mind you, but oftentimes people look down on me because of my disability. Cause they saw what I couldn't do and focused on. Well, you can't walk, you can't. Drive you can't, how are you going to function in society?
And they just focused on the negative? Well, when I got out of high school and into college, which I'll get into in a little bit I really started getting people around me who really focused on Yeah.
you're in a wheelchair, but that's not all of you. You have other talents besides just wheeling around in a wheelchair.
You know what I mean? Like I mean, I hope people, doing what I do now, but especially. Being where I am in life and having doors open for me, regardless of physical limitations is mindblowing. So remind bullying, I should say.
[00:03:43] Damaged Parents: So do you think that it took you getting to that point of saying I just happened to be in a wheelchair for things to open up and for you to get those opportunities that, , like you needed to have this inner confidence.
[00:04:01] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: I think it did because it took that realization for me to gain confidence in myself. So it took the partnership of some very special people and maybe a dog who is no longer with.
[00:04:16] Damaged Parents: I love how you said and maybe a dog.
I'm thinking there was a special relationship right there.
[00:04:23] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: That relationship started after I got out of high school, I applied for my first service dog through canine companions and that relationship lasted 12 years. We did practically everything together. He went to college with me. He went to internships with me. He helped me see what I could be beyond the wheelchair, if that makes any sense whatsoever, .
[00:04:51] Damaged Parents: So by having the dog and maybe going out and doing those things, your confidence started to go up?
[00:04:58] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah, exactly. So , he was really instrumental in opening me up to new opportunities and even doing things like this. Yeah, he's not here anymore, but pandemic changes things in the way you do things. Anyway, he was an absolute too. We don't want to call it a miracle dog because they're not miracles.
They're trained to help you mitigate your disability. So things like picking things up that you drop carrying things, opening doors toner retrieval, which is where they like put the paws on the counter. Like you give them like your credit card. No, they don't need it. They've been trained to, you know, not at your money or whatever. So they, you give them your credit card or whatever. Then they jump up on the counter with their two front feet and hand it to the cashier. And give it back to you. In addition to like the physical distance, they also provide that emotional support and that social icebreaker for the community to help the community see that yes, there's disabilities, but there's also more behind that.
Like we're people
[00:06:17] Damaged Parents: So then by having the dog, people would engage because they liked dogs. And then the next step was talking with you, which then you to show the people that you are also human. Just like them. You just happened to be in a wheelchair.
[00:06:37] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: right. And so I'm in the process of getting my second dog or application process, I guess I should say. So that's a little nerve wracking situation. And every time you apply is different. But it's very much something that I needed to do for myself because I don't know what the future holds.
I was telling you before we went on air, I have received a big opportunity that I don't know what the outcome's going to be. But, who knows what this could bring. So, I want to be ready to have as enhanced independence as I can. So anyway,
[00:07:19] Damaged Parents: Yeah, there's something special about that independence. Isn't there?
[00:07:23] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right. And I'm 33, I'm not five. I
[00:07:26] Damaged Parents: I know.
[00:07:28] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: I'm sorry. I had to say that, but like I've been out in the community and I was out in the community recently and I'm not going to name names. Cause it was not this person's fault, but we were at a restaurant and this person was like reading me the menu like they acted like I couldn't read the menu and I'm like,
I didn't say anything,
[00:07:49] Damaged Parents: You didn't say anything. I was going to ask, what did you do , in that moment to let them, but you just
let them.
[00:07:57] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: I just looked at him like, are you kidding me? Cause sometimes for me instead of like, verbally calling somebody out in public to reduce the risk of embarrassment. Like I will give them.
a look like we're in public. We're not at home. You know what I mean? Like . I mean, yes, it was a one-time thing.
And I know the person meant well, but it was just like one of those things that, you never really quite get over that. Yes, there is a disability, but I'm not five years old,
[00:08:34] Damaged Parents: Yeah. it sounds like what happens is people see the disability, right? The non, just the non operable side , of us and forget that we are completely capable in these, other areas. So I'm, just wondering what would happen if, you had said, oh, thank you so much for trying to read that to me, I'd like to read it on my own today.
[00:08:58] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: I don't know.
[00:08:59] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Like, cause that's a nice way to say it too right? I mean, my thought is then coming from a person of disability, then , if it were me, then I'm not, giving up who I am and
I'm letting them know where I am capable in a loving way,
[00:09:16] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right.
And so it's like, that's, I mean, especially doing what I do in the community, consciousless people who see the wheelchair first because I live in a small town. And so the fact that I have, the opportunities that I work where I do I've worked very hard to earn their respect and everything that I have now I've worked for, it was not given to me. I had to work for it.
And. I'm a stronger person because of that.
[00:09:49] Damaged Parents: I love that you, your struggle makes you stronger. I love that. You just said that.
[00:09:55] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: yeah. Yeah, it really does because I have come out on the other side, maybe not a better person because I've always been. I've always been someone who has looked at challenges and overcome them. That's why people, , when I see people who struggle with similar things that I do, and then they look at me and say, well, I can't do it.
Or whatever. I'm like, yes, you can figure it out.
[00:10:22] Damaged Parents: Well, and I think sometimes it won't look the same right
[00:10:27] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right.
Because nobody, regardless of this, the same disability or not disabilities are not the same. I mean, like I say, in my book, and you'll read about it, but like I say, in my book, every disability, regardless of its CP or, what you have, or, whatever, It's a spectrum. Everybody who has the disability is not affected by the exact same challenges or whatever.
And , it's just, , I mean, People need to wake up. I get to the fact that, we are in the 21st century. It's not the 1950s anymore. It's time to be the change that we want to see in America, regardless of a pandemic.
[00:11:11] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:11:11] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: luckily by me stepping out of maybe not totally stepping out of my comfort zone, but by me, doing what I did this spring and talking to my friends at the Y yes, I'm whispering and getting in the door there.
And showing what I can do and then possibly gaining a big opportunity. I don't know what's going to happen, but you know, for them to see that I'm not just the girl in the wheelchair, I'm an employee just like everybody else. I come in at whatever time and I, leave. Whatever time I'm supposed to leave and I work, you know, while I'm there
I don't just sit and play on my phone , or browse social media or, I do things well, I'm there to help out.
[00:12:00] Damaged Parents: Then it sounds like it's really important for you to give back to society and not feel like you're just sitting and waiting for people to serve you just because you have a disability.
[00:12:15] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Exactly. And yeah. yeah.
I think sometimes people feel sorry for you like me because they see the wheelchair and they're like,
oh, I'm so sorry you're in this. You know? wheelchair it's like, it's no big deal. It's how I get around. It's a free seat,
[00:12:33] Damaged Parents: You're like, no matter where I go, I can always sit.
[00:12:39] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right. But no, seriously, like a few weeks ago I was at work and one of our members came up to me and she's like, what are you doing these days? I never seen you come in here and work out anymore. I'm like, well, I'm working here now. And she literally was like, good for you.
And I'm like, oh my word., I walked back into the room and I was kind of rolling my eyes literally because I get so tired of people saying, you're on the community, doing something good for yourself and your family and whatever.
And people say good for you. Like, it's a miracle that you're out of the house.
[00:13:17] Damaged Parents: So it's almost like what I hear you saying is that when someone comes up to you specifically and they think they're cheering you on, you're hearing it as well. It's a miracle that you're out of the house \ instead of just them cheering you on, like, that's fantastic. I'm so glad you got a job, right?
Like. That's interesting, I think,
[00:13:42] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah.
[00:13:43] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:13:43] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: So it's like, I mean, cause I was going to ask, people at work I'm like, I've been, tempted , just say to them, do I look stupid because. And I don't mean it that way. So you might have to edit that part out and say it, like, make it say something nicer, but like, but seriously, I just want to look at people and be like, do I dumb to you?
Like,
[00:14:08] Damaged Parents: when you say that, right? Yeah. When you say that, I'm thinking that when people talk to you, they do talk to you is if you're five or 10 years old or something, and your thought maybe is that's because you're in a wheelchair. and because you have CP or cerebral palsy in, and you're saying, but hold on, I'm 33 and I'm capable.
How come you're still treating me like a child.
Yeah.
[00:14:33] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: like everybody at work, like they treat me , no differently than anybody else. You know, I joke around more than I probably should, but you know what? I know when it's time to quit playing around and be serious when the time is right.
The thing that's different is that, , we respect each other and I've always been able to be honest with them and what I can do
When that happened. like, I didn't think anything of it because this person that I was with, does this not a lot, but on occasion, but I think it's because she works with a variety of different people with a variety of different disabilities that have more struggles than I do. So she has to be more hopeful slash mindful of the fact that.
When you do have a disability, people do take advantage of you. And because of the limitations, they face, they don't, they're not aware of potential dangers. And as such, I think that falls into the line of like, I'm, I'm trying to help you, but I'm also wanting to protect you.
[00:15:42] Damaged Parents: Right.
[00:15:43] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Which I appreciate, but there's a fine line between helping me and babying me if that makes any sense.
[00:15:52] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Yeah. I think it, I think it really does. And in that, and I think that's where it's really important that those of us with disabilities use our voice in a loving way that says, yeah, thank you. I've, got this.
[00:16:06] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah.
[00:16:06] Damaged Parents: Because I think you're right in that a lot of people forget, or they're not present in that moment in remembering who they're with.
And what's the capacities of that person that that person has. Yeah.
[00:16:21] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: I mean, I'm very fortunate to not need a lot of help. Now I do need some help, but it's not near the level of having to watch somebody 24 7 to make sure that they're not going to fall or not going to choke or whatever,
[00:16:43] Damaged Parents: yeah.
[00:16:44] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: . I am very blessed , in that way of life, because my CP is a little, I don't want to say worse than Paul's cause I, can't walk, but like, other than that, I mean, I am able to function just like everybody else.
And people are like, how you can't walk. Well, I just do things differently, yes it takes me longer. To do things, but I get them done. And people laugh at me at work and I keep telling people, I'm like, yes, I'll get the job done. It may not look exactly a hundred percent how you want it to look, but I'll get the job done.
And I was even last week at work, I was, helping sort of through inventory. And one of my coworkers came up to me and she was like, does this look professional? Or should I fold it this way? And I kind of looked at it and I said, let's pull it the way you're thinking, because I just think it looks more, more professional, more put together more, whatever.
then just throwing it in a box because I mean, literally when we got the shipment of the shirts for soccer league we opened the box when ups or, or FedEx or whoever dropped it off when we opened the box they just literally threw the shirts in there didn't even bother to fold them. And it was just like, oh my gosh.
[00:18:06] Damaged Parents: Wow.
[00:18:07] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: We went through and we sorted, the shirts and the piles, for each team and how many ever sizes we needed. And. it was like a well-oiled machine, it was very well organized and they really appreciated the fact that I was able to look at that and say, let's do it this way because it looks better.
[00:18:26] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Well, and it sounds like too that
Feeling like you have a voice.
[00:18:31] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: right.
[00:18:31] Damaged Parents: You know that there's not this assumption that you don't have any input it's hurtful. And when someone comes to you and ask for your input, it's like, oh you know, yes, I, they, they see me.
[00:18:44] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right.
And so that's one of the things that I really appreciate about, the organization, the YMCA that I work for now is that they really do value me. They really do see past my physical limitations. Yes. They know they're there. Cause obviously, I can't hide the chair. Like I can't, it's not like a blind person that I can just stick the cane under the chair and go on about my way, like it's there.
I have to deal with it, but you know, they've been able to look beyond that and really not only. see past that, but have helped me see in a business sense that I can do more than meets the eye. And, I do have a lot to offer the , organizations like them. And as a result, I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm working my way towards my bachelor's degree in public relations. I contacted a school last night and I haven't signed up for school. Don't worry, mom. I have to say that because she may listen later,
[00:19:47] Damaged Parents: Right.
[00:19:48] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: but I didn't sign up for school, but I at least got the information. So we'll see what happens, but I'm, I'm excited for the journey because it's going to be crazy,
[00:19:59] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And it seems like you're already setting yourself up for that, you know, enabling your speaking abilities and putting yourself out there as a speaker to me that was a, like jumping off a cliff for me,
that was very scary.
[00:20:14] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Cause I remember like last night, we were busy, but it was really slow. So my supervisor was like, if you need to work on side stuff, , you're more than willing to do that. I'm like, are you sure? He's like, yes. I was online and I was looking at schools and he's been kind of encouraging me to go forward in that area.
And I'm like, should I do this? And, and he's like, it's your future? Go ahead and push the button. And I'm like, but what if, and he's like, you're just asking for information. You're not applying , and so when I pushed the button and they called me within 30 seconds, I was like, should I take the call?
And he's like, Yeah,
So I did. And , I mean, it's going to be very, manageable. And so we'll see what happens, but, with the opportunities that the Y , I couldn't be more excited to see what's in store. I mean, I'm not going to sit here and say, they're acting weird around me because they're very much not.
I just have this very good feeling, this something major's about to happen. And , I'm not going to sit here and say what that is, but I mean, because the people are just, they're very excited and they're like, what can we do for you in the future? And what do you want to work on in the future while you're here?
[00:21:29] Damaged Parents: Yeah, it sounds like you're surrounded by people who see the positives
[00:21:33] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah. Yeah, I am very much , but I'm kind of blown away because I'm not used to positivity. I mean, I very much am, but coming from someone who in their past is had more doors shut in their faces. And as a result of having a disability
I'm very much not used to having so many people in my corner that are sitting there saying, you can do this.
You're very talented. You can like,
[00:22:02] Damaged Parents: yeah. And it sounds like that's really made a difference in just your self esteem and even stepping up and saying, well, maybe I could try this.
[00:22:13] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right. Exactly. they've been very supportive and they respected , and they've seen me grow as a professional. So , I've had. To have hard conversations with coworkers, but you know, those hard conversations I haven't been upset. It's just been okay.
, we'll work through this and there's gotta be, silver lining at the end of the tunnel because I'm here for a reason. Like there's got to be some reason why all of a sudden people I mean I'm not saying they're acting weird because they're acting normal, but I feel like, when you're talking to somebody, it's like, you feel like they know something that you don't.
[00:22:53] Damaged Parents: Yeah, you sense it in the air?
[00:22:57] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah. So it's kind of like that. So it's like, do you say something or do you just let it ride and see what happens? So I'm, going with the let's ride and look and see what happens, camp because I don't want to jinx anything that may
[00:23:14] Damaged Parents: It sounds like looking forward feels good.
[00:23:19] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right. It does very much though. So we'll see. But I'm excited
[00:23:25] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited for you now, when you go out and talk, what are some of the things that you talk about?
[00:23:33] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Definitely disability rights and bullying prevention is like a big one. I haven't necessarily been asked to speak in schools yet, but I would like to just because I think especially now living in the world we're living bullying is a big problem and , it's gotta be stopped. We'll just leave it there.
It's gotta be stopped. And kids deserve to go to school in a place where they're safe,
[00:24:01] Damaged Parents: So how, would you recommend stopping it?
[00:24:03] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Be the one to set an example. If you see somebody being bullied stand up for them, encourage them to talk to someone. Be that support system. Like I hate to say, know your limitations, but seriously know your limitations and know when you're in over your head and know when to ask for help, because a lot of times bullies that are being bullied don't know where to, ask for help.
So they just let it happen. And before, you know, it either A somebody's committing suicide or, God forbid, and I don't want you sound nasty on air, but God forbid somebody goes to school with a gun like that. I hate to say that, but that's, that's the world we live in. I mean, I remember several months ago, probably after the Parkland shooting happened and they had made a comment, I think it was on CNN or something like that.
No school shootings have happened, but it was in summertime. So it was like, you know what I mean? So it's a problem and I'm not one to speak on gun control or advocate for that or whatever, but,
[00:25:15] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:25:15] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Those are issues that are really a problem in our society.
And not just, if you have a disability, it's a problem everywhere,
[00:25:25] Damaged Parents: yeah. And it sounds like you might not be certain of the solution and yet you do agree. There is a problem and maybe we all need to work together , to help solve. You know, and, I don't know. It seems to me that when people come together to solve a problem, if you keep at it at some point, something will resonate with every single person in that group.
And then it will be like, okay, this is the solution,
[00:25:48] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Right. And I remember, a couple of days ago on the 20th anniversary of 9/11. Like I wrote on my Facebook page or my personal one that, you know, I wish we could go back to the way things were 20 years ago, to a time when, we can feel safe in school when the color of your skin didn't matter, your religion didn't matter.
We could say one nation under God and not be. I don't know, judge just the right word, but you know what I mean?
[00:26:17] Damaged Parents: Unified, maybe?
[00:26:18] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah.
I mean, I wish we could go back to that, but I don't, know that we ever will, because of the way the world is turning. So we'll just see, I mean,
[00:26:29] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I agree.
[00:26:31] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: It's very sad that, I'm an aunt, I have nine nieces and nephews and one of which is a senior in high school, and I'm very proud of her, but I'm also very nervous for her to go off to school,
[00:26:45] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:26:45] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: to college and be, off on her own.
Not that she's not very independent. I don't mean it that way, but.
[00:26:50] Damaged Parents: Yeah, just to not be so close, maybe.
[00:26:54] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah. So she's very much she can take care of herself, but it's, I'm nervous. I have that.
[00:27:00] Damaged Parents: Isn't that interesting, right? Your friend was nervous for you and read the thing, and you're nervous for your able body. niece And I'm sure you do things that she might be like, come on auntie. I know what I'm doing. Isn't that interesting? How we all do it to each other?
[00:27:18] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Yeah, We all do.
[00:27:19] Damaged Parents: We all do.
Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
[00:27:22] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: But, Yeah.
I mean, that's my main focus. And as far as disability rights go, I would love to get it to a place where, disability doesn't matter, where we can all exercise our strengths and we can all. Be who we want to be, regardless of what society says this to me , Because for so long, I lived in the world of like, yes, I had a say so in what I wanted in life. For a long time. I did , for the most part, what other people told me to do. I didn't, live my dream.
[00:28:01] Damaged Parents: Yeah.
[00:28:02] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: I focused on what everybody else wanted me to do. And. part and parcel to now being in a situation where I have full control of my life. And, I almost said this last night that, the whole situation with the Y, that I'm very, very grateful for is the first time in my life.
Really, and truly, literally lived on faith taking that step of faith and calling him up and saying, Hey, do you have any opportunities available? Still regarding post pandemic. And, he came back to me a few weeks later and. I started working there in April and I couldn't be happier to know that I'm moving up possibly.
So we'll see what happens
[00:28:49] Damaged Parents: That's awesome. Well, we're gonna, we're going to cheer you on from here. So we're at the end of recording time. So three tips or tools that pop into your mind that you would like to share with everyone else.
[00:29:03] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: No, your value know your worth, and don't be afraid to retrieve your dreams
[00:29:09] Damaged Parents: I love
that.
[00:29:10] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: and to do that. You just have people around you to support you. So
[00:29:16] Damaged Parents: Perfect. That's awesome.
[00:29:18] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: thank you.
[00:29:19] Damaged Parents: Thank you so much, Katie, for coming on the show today. I'm so glad we got to have a conversation.
This is this rocks.
[00:29:25] Katie - Speaker on Wheels: Thank you so much.
[00:29:27] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We've really enjoyed talking to Katie Speaker on Wheels about how she does her very best to focus on the positive. We especially liked when she explained how we talk to people with disabilities matters. To unite with other damaged people connect with us on Facebook. Look for Damaged Parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then
