S2E69: Rachel Fox - Healing from PMDD

My name is Rachel Lynn Fox and I am a PMDD Holistic Hypnotherapist + Coach. Research has shown a link between unresolved pain and trauma and the severity of PMDD symptoms. After personally experiencing profound healing from PMDD, I became trained and certified in the same therapy that saved me. My work is all about healing at a subconscious level so that negative beliefs are reframed and therefore no longer triggered when the hormones shift. I use a therapy model RTT, Rapid Transformational Therapy, which uses a combination of hypnotherapy, CBT and neuroscience alongside coaching and menstrual cycle awareness, which creates the deep lasting change in my clients. It is now my life’s work to help bring awareness to PMDD and that there is healing and hope.

Social media and contact information:

@rachellynnfox

Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged podcast by Damaged Parents where emotional suffering healing people come to learn. Maybe just maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume. 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

[00:00:21] Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are. Relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.

[00:00:43] Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is you the one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole.

[00:01:06] You who stares directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover your purpose, you are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them. Let's hear from another hero. Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children.

[00:01:29] This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Today, we're going to talk with Rachel Fox. She has many roles in her life, daughter, mother, sister, and more.

[00:01:46] We'll talk about how she had no idea she was suffering from premenstrual dysphoric disorder. How she figured it out and how she found health and healing let's talk Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today we have Rachel Lynn Fox with us. She has recovered from premenstrual dysphoric disorder and she's also a P M D D, which is short for premenstrual dysphoric disorder, holistic hypnotherapist coach. She also. Works with R T T, which is what's called rapid transformational therapy, which uses a combination of hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, otherwise known as C B T and neuroscience, along with coaching and menstrual cycle awareness.

[00:02:35] Rachel, welcome to the show.

[00:02:38] Rachel Fox: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[00:02:41] Damaged Parents: Now, I've heard of P M DD before. I think someone I know has it. I don't remember if that's the name, but I cannot remember the symptoms. And I'm assuming that there are probably listeners listening that are like, What in the world is that?

[00:02:56] Rachel Fox: Yeah.

[00:02:57] So I am so glad that you have heard about it because when I self-diagnosed myself, it was the first time I had ever heard about it, and it was the first time. Any of my friends, family, mother, sister aunts, cousins had heard about it. So, premenstrual dysphoric disorder affects one in 20 women in a a b.

[00:03:23] It's 5% are suicidal. What happens is right after our ovulation during our menstrual cycle in that. Our estrogen drops and during that time there is a massive hormonal shift. That next phase is called our ludial phase, and that phase lasts until we bleed. . And during that time, because the hormones are really changing, the progesterone hits the highest at that time there is a massive turbulence of what is known as this mood disorder.

[00:04:02] And it's been said that it's a hormonal imbalance and, you know, we're not able to regulate it. Really. Just like if you were gonna go into a doctor's office anywhere across the world, and you said that you had hypothyroid, everyone would give you Synthroid or Levothyroxine. Well, with PM D D it take, can take up to three to eight years to get the diagnosis

[00:04:27] and you go to your gp, you go to your endocrinologist, you go to your ob gyn, your psychiatrist, because no one knows what to do about it. And so the solutions are this sort of SSRI cocktail combination, hormonal therapy, birth control, or to the extreme to remove and um, your ovaries and get a hysterectomy.

[00:04:49] So it's really an obscure. Topic. And if you think about how we're all bleeding every single month and we don't know anything about not even really our menstrual cycles you know, it's my passion to not only share my story about how I'm healed from it, but then also to share to the P M DD community that there is healing.

[00:05:15] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I just am wondering how many women are misdiagnosed. They think they've got a solution, but then something comes up later. I mean, you said it took, what, three to eight years? Mm-hmm. to, for someone to get, to get a diagnosis and I can't think of, you know, these people are suffering this entire time and they're thinking they find a solution and they don't find a solution.

[00:05:40] After having experienced it and then healing yourself and finding the diagnosis, do you think there might be a faster or easier way for women to be able to pinpoint this may be the problem?

[00:05:56] Rachel Fox: Yeah, so the symptoms that come up you know, if, there are those who suffer from severe PMs, it could very well be P M D D.

[00:06:06] So what it looks like is right after this ovulation phase. You can experience a roller coaster of emotions. Some women actually suffer the entire two weeks until they bleed. And that looks like extreme rage and anger mood swings, deep depression, anxiety, panic attacks, binge eating, chronic fatigue.

[00:06:29] Extreme sensitivity to rejection, plummeting self-esteem, crying spells it's really, it's like so much for I think, the medical community to even touch. But what happens is when we bleed, we go back to ourself, and so the misdiagnosis can also be bipolar. So you go from being the extreme, worst version of yourself every two to three weeks.

[00:07:01] and then almost like do a recovery, if you will to come back, bounce back to yourself. You can able to tackle the things in your home. You can you know, get your emails out on time at work. You have good relationships. You're not you, you're dysfunctioning at your peak self. Again, you know, you can accomplish, you can go on vacation, you can plan the parties that you want.

[00:07:21] You know, you can have intense conversations with your boss, but anything inside that window is really taken as a perceived threat to one's self during that time.

[00:07:34] Damaged Parents: Now, is this something that happened like once the menstrual or can happen when the menstrual cycle starts? Or is it something that happens later in life?

[00:07:43] You know, like for instance, does this woman who's experiencing P M D D even think that there's something wrong? Or how would they know if it's normal for. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know if, if someone doesn't give me feedback, I don't know if that it's not normal, .

[00:08:01] Rachel Fox: Yeah, well it's, you know, I was I'm 45 and so I was in high school in the nineties and I definitely had battling depression and moments of binge eating that I thought at the time that it was actually just bulimia And also moments of rage and anger, but when we're not talking about our menstrual cycles, and no one for sure was at all like, you know, telling us to even track our cycles.

[00:08:29] That, you know, there was so, like, so much lack of awareness then and really, that's one of the reasons why there's so much misdiagnosis and the silent suffering going on. So if you're seeing yourself battle or maybe your daughter. Or the loved ones around you that you're close with, or even like a coworker.

[00:08:49] Um, That you see that, you know, two days of the month, or I'm sorry, two weeks outta the month, they're functioning, They're at their prime, they're happy. They can go out, they're having a good time, they're exercising like everything seems normal. And then two weeks later you see a shift and that shift. Is, it's really, really debilitating.

[00:09:07] It's very, very lonely because you don't know who to talk to. You don't know what's safe. You don't even know how to explain it to someone. I mean, cuz we all have our periods. So, how do you say no mind's really, really, really bad. You know, when you start opening up the conversation about mental health.

[00:09:25] You sort of put yourself in this category of, are you like, are you a whole person? Can I trust you? So you put yourself out there in this way that you have to almost be ready to embrace. The, feedback or the possible rejection of what's going to come back from you, especially from employers if you're trying to under let them understand you know, where these lows can really go to if there's really, really so much suffering.

[00:09:53] Damaged Parents: Yeah. And you brought up mental health and I think I had seen on your On the form you filled out beforehand. I'm thinking trauma may have something to do with this now Does. Well, let me go to mental health first. I mean, if we had better discussions around mental health or maybe even taught it in schools, do you think it would be a easier to catch some of these things?

[00:10:18] Rachel Fox: Absolutely. If we had menstrual cycle awareness. In our health classes, this would educate us in such an empowering way.

[00:10:28] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm. ,

[00:10:29] Rachel Fox: 100%

[00:10:30] Damaged Parents: And what about mental health? Would that also help with, because, so I'm hearing you say like, the menstrual cycle awareness would be extremely helpful. I'm also wondering if that mental health or emotional Education it you know, really educating our youth on, on emotional things would be helpful for Yeah.

[00:10:52] Diagnosis. Like, would that have further helped?

[00:10:56] Rachel Fox: It would have awakened me through my, you know, 20 years of trying to figure out. What my issues were, right, Of like, why can't I get over this? why? Why am I angry? Why did that trigger me so intensely? Why do I feel that way when you know someone walked away?

[00:11:17] Like there's a deep internal dialogue that's always going on during these two weeks. But it's, like really, really low and dark. So yes, to answer your question, if we had the awareness to support with our menstrual cycles in our health classes to say that, Are you experiencing this? You might be feeling this way.

[00:11:40] Because there's about like nine to 13 intense symptoms that one can experience. And so if we're not talking about it, you really just think that you are a teenager struggling with anxiety. Primarily right before your period. But if you don't know to track, if you don't know to watch your cycle, to talk to your mother, your father, your aunts and uncles, grandmothers around that who are around you, you are really, really left alone.

[00:12:09] And so, you know, bringing this to the forefront of conversations in our home is so important as mothers to be leading. Children to being able to talk about these conversations, that it's just not the bad cramps that you have and go take some leave and sorry. And like, you know, maybe you can sleep in a little bit longer, but you gotta get to school.

[00:12:29] Like this is a whole nother category of suffering.

[00:12:33] Damaged Parents: Well, and I think too that maybe there's this idea that, we talk to our children about the behavior that's coming from it. Thinking they have some control and not thinking of, Oh, well maybe there could be this hormonal issue going on.

[00:12:48] And then the child might beat themselves up, I'm thinking, or the person child or not. Thinking I should be able to handle this. I'm fine that those weeks I'm not fine this week, you know, is this, this is just my life, ?

[00:13:02] Rachel Fox: Yep, exactly.

[00:13:04] Damaged Parents: Also, you had said something about healing on a subconscious level.

[00:13:08] Now what does that mean for you and how does that help with P M D?

[00:13:14] Rachel Fox: So, going back to the trauma piece that you mentioned. So I am a voice that is speaking to the P m DD community right now in as sort of like a forerunner in, in the space to really say that there is a link to unresolved pain and unresolved trauma.

[00:13:36] and that results in our P NDD symptoms. My life is a perfect example to show that once you. Dissolve the pain and you get back to the root cause, can you one truly heal? And that is why I've now made my life's work to declare and to work with those who suffer with P M D D. So it's a, it's a really big conversation because, you know, Western medicine doesn't really wanna support that kind.

[00:14:07] Thinking yet, but maybe we are on the rise and massive shifts of awareness. But those are really big conversations to have. But what rapid transformational therapy is as, as you mentioned, it's hypnotherapy, a blend of neuroscience and cognitive behavioral therapy. So when you go back to the subconscious old program,

[00:14:31] That has usually evolved when we're zero to seven years. and we take in a perceived moment of pain or a belief or a even a feeling. The feelings are so important. What we took in as a child and then what we interpreted that as, that no one cares about me. I'm lost. No one's coming to look for me. I'm not enough.

[00:15:00] I must not be important enough. I'm different. Maybe someone was bullied. You know, there's so many moments of snapshot moments in our life, so it's not the word trauma can be such a trigger. And so it's really important to say that there's two really big differences between. Big trauma and little trauma, the macro of the micro because instinctively everybody wants to say, Oh, well, you know, I wasn't sexually abused.

[00:15:27] So when we really peel back the definition of trauma and to really understand that it's not based. By an event, but what we perceived it as, what was the environment that we were in and what we told ourselves and what was the belief that we took in? And so when that programming begins to run in our life when that's really the, the grounded message.

[00:15:50] That, that's what we hear. And you know how it then affects those once we start bleeding to thinking about our self image and our lack of self worth and you know, the suicidal rate, like it's, it just, it can play in so many ways, but how it expands out through Throughout our life is it can really, really take head through any massive shifts.

[00:16:14] Maybe a, a child being born, maybe your child left to go to college. Maybe there was a death in the family, maybe there's a divorce. So it's really different how the shifts can happen because what will begin to arise is that familiar feeling. that's always connected back to the root cause.

[00:16:35] Damaged Parents: Mm.

[00:16:36] You know, when you were talking about trauma and you were using the terms little trauma and big trauma, it reminded me of, what I learned and that is trauma. It cannot, I can't define a trauma for you. You are the only one who can define a trauma for you and I. Two, maybe in some ways it, at least in our society, maybe in some of our families, that even if something is traumatic for one person and not another person, then the judgment is made that it maybe shouldn't have been traumatic for the person that it is traumatic for.

[00:17:12] And I think that takes away The emo, not the emotion, the experience of healing in that moment, or even the chance to heal in that moment.

[00:17:23] Rachel Fox: Love that.

[00:17:23] Damaged Parents: And I really like what you said about how it continues on and then it turns into the stories. That we're telling ourselves. So like you were saying, even if there wasn't a rape or wasn't sexual trauma of some sort for P M D D, it would make sense that a lot of people in my mind from when you're saying this, would think, Oh, there must have been some sort of sexual trauma.

[00:17:46] But that's not necessarily true. It could just be, I'm not good enough. I'm this, I'm that. Which is what I was hearing you saying.

[00:17:53] Rachel Fox: Exactly.

[00:17:55] Damaged Parents: That is really interesting to think about.

[00:17:58] Rachel Fox: Yeah.

[00:17:59] Damaged Parents: Because those stories, darn it, those stories, they can really impact how we,

[00:18:07] Rachel Fox: they are patient stories that we are all running on.

[00:18:12] And until we expose them and reveal them for what they are and what we perceived them, and now with our adult eyes can realize that we almost like go back and rescue our little child, our little us. You know that little girl in me had to go back and rescue her to let her know that she's not there anymore.

[00:18:34] That's not me anymore. And until you reframe that message and really rework to restructure that with the reprogramming of the mind, it's really, really how you can set yourself free from all emotional pain. Tru. ,

[00:18:50] Damaged Parents: Right? But how does someone know if they've got these subconscious things going on? I mean, especially in the western world, we're not taught, taught to look at that very much.

[00:19:01] You know? I think we're getting a little better at it, maybe, and if it's subconscious, how do you even start to recognize it? Is that, I mean, is that something that the r t t and the hypnotherapy helps do? How does that work?

[00:19:13] Rachel Fox: I, well, it definitely requires a lot of awareness, right? Our triggers, anything, We're in traffic and we are panicking because we're gonna be late to work.

[00:19:24] You know, you're, you're late you missed a meeting to your credit cards are stacked out and it's whatever is triggering us. Is our wake up call to heal. And so whenever we feel that shift, the fear, the anxiety the messages of, I don't wanna wake up today. Like, I'd rather, just hide, You know, I'd rather, just disappear.

[00:19:56] I'd rather disconnect. You know, I wish I wasn't here. It's, it's a lot of negative self-talk. Mm. I don't like myself. I don't love myself. I'm not good enough. Yeah. And so it's so important that we you know, as early as we possibly can, we're instilling empowering conversations into our children at such a young age because it's the words that we've always wanted to hear, become the words that we really need to tell ourselves.

[00:20:28] Even as adults now, because the, you are the most influential person in your life. We have been believe we. Been taught to believe we need validation. We need external, but once we have that self love within, you know, we can be really restored to the best version of ourself. Truly, truly living. Shame, guilt-free, fear-free, you know, and it's all an evolvement, right?

[00:20:55] The work of healing through PMDD. , it gets you to the point where you're no longer suffering these debilitating symptoms and then you work, you know, sort of with your limited beliefs outside of these moments to, you know, get you and all of us where we're trying to evolve and get to.

[00:21:13] Damaged Parents: Yeah, and it sounds like you could almost use the trigger as a trigger for yourself to say, Oh, maybe there's some work I need to do. Right. because I am triggered and what is it? maybe not right in that moment, but sometimes we have to go back and investigate, right?

[00:21:34] Rachel Fox: Yeah. But these, and just to be clear, these triggers that happened during the ludial phase are massive.

[00:21:41] Hmm. Like are massive. So not just like I'm a little bit pissed off. You're talking full on rage for hours. Okay. It doesn't necessarily mean, you know, a physical altercation, but and really what that anger piece is, it goes back to a child wound that never felt that they were able to be heard. . So that response that is coming out is a response to that inner, that little child who never felt that they maybe had a voice in their home or with their loved ones.

[00:22:14] And so,

[00:22:14] Damaged Parents: okay, so they're getting great big signs then. And then they're probably feeling terrible

[00:22:21] Rachel Fox: about, Oh, and then the shame that comes after is debilitating suffering. Like days of crying spells like, You don't wanna get up, you don't wanna face your kids, you can't do anything because. , you just became the worst.

[00:22:35] You are a monster in your home, you know? Yeah.

[00:22:40] Damaged Parents: You were able to heal from this and not take hormones and not take medicine just by working through all of these. Tough things, I guess is what I, Well, that's kind of a question of mine, .

[00:22:56] Rachel Fox: Yeah. So in my own self-discovery, right, because I wasn't ever linking it up to my menstrual cycle So I lost my job during Covid and during that time my daughter's school also closed, not offering remote learning, and it was a stressful time for the entire world, but in my little home It was scary at times just for how, what we were all, you know, sort of susceptive dealing with. And that is when my symptoms really, really skyrocketed.

[00:23:27] Like I said, it was a shift, like it was a massive shift that happened. So, through that about 18 month period, I went and like tried talk therapy. I went on antidepressants, anti-anxiety. I ruled out glutenin. I did supplemental therapy. I did dietary changes. It knocked off alcohol and I even tried ketamine therapy, because

[00:23:54] Damaged Parents: Wow.

[00:23:55] Rachel Fox: I really was, knew I was suffering and I never suffered. there was a link of suffering my whole timeline.

[00:24:03] Damaged Parents: Mm-hmm.

[00:24:04] Rachel Fox: and I knew that. But this was unprecedented pain. And I am still in a relationship, but that relationship came to a halt because he left and after a night of rage and I was left facing my two teenage daughter.

[00:24:29] And had to really figure out what this was. And thank God there was a moment of clarity. And I googled rage before period, and that's how I discovered PMDD.

[00:24:47] Damaged Parents: Mm.

[00:24:48] Rachel Fox: And I went into a Google hole of discovering what PMDD was. I joined every Facebook group that I could, and I was determined to find what this really meant for me at one point, and this is a conversation I have with my clients, so, Is that the moment you get diagnosed, you feel so validated because you're like, Oh my God, this is it.

[00:25:14] This is what this is. Okay, so now what? Feeling like now, Now I know I'm one in 20. You, you know, you can tell your employer, you can, you know, tell your husband, you can tell your kids like, you know, I'm not bipolar. Like this is what it is. , but then you're left in a totally isolated journey about how to work through this.

[00:25:34] And because everything I was reading on every forum and every page was something that I already had tried, I was really, really scared

[00:25:45] Damaged Parents: that Okay, so you were like super excited that you felt like you had this answer and. Dare I use the word fix? Maybe just because you had this answer that then you were gonna be, okay, there's gonna be a fix here, and then it's like, ugh, You tried everything.

[00:26:02] Rachel Fox: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Except having my ovaries removed. and also birth control at the time, so, I, again, went into a whole, like I just for days and days and days all I did was Google and Google all of this, the symptoms and the pain and understanding the root cause and healing and treatment. And it sent me to YouTube pages about rapid transformational therapy.

[00:26:34] And I then discovered that that addresses the root cause of pain. Mm. And I just immediately sent all these videos information to. I don't know at the time he says he never technically broke up with me, but I'm like, you definitely did say my ex-boyfriend at the time. And he, you know, was like, What do we do?

[00:27:00] This is definitely you. Like, you know, what haven't we tried? You know, let's go for it. And one session later.

[00:27:09] Profound healing at

[00:27:12] Damaged Parents: the deep with you through deepness utilizing the tools that you Of ott.

[00:27:16] Rachel Fox: Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. So I'm like, Sign me. Like, I need my life back. Everything else is falling apart. Like there is no way I could have gone back to work. There is no way I could have continued being a present mom.

[00:27:35] There is no way that I could have just really gone on living, you know, when the dark gets so dark. It's, it's really, really all you. and it was very, very scary in some moments, but because I was at such at a deep cry, in a deep, deep need, and it's just, and, and it's sad that like you, some people have to get there, you know, that plummeting wake up call.

[00:28:00] you know, there was also no, nothing in my In my vision to know that this could even be what it was. So understanding, finding out more about P M D D and then working through rapid transformational therapy. And after one session, the shifts were so massive. So what really happens regarding PMDD is you're healing the root cause.

[00:28:28] You're addressing, you're finding it, you're exploring it, discovering it, you're unpacking it. But then when you get to this point, you can now see it through your adult eyes. And when you have your next ludial phase, instead of these triggers, you now see it in a totally different way. You see how you re used to respond.

[00:28:50] You see that it was a just a rejection of yourself. You see that you were so scared that you didn't believe that you were safe, you know? So there's so many messages that you take on during this time and until you undo them. And really heal and work through them. So the beautiful piece about rapid transformational therapy is that you're given an audio recording to listen to, to 21 to 30 days.

[00:29:17] And so that is all about the transformative work of the mind and the neuroscience piece and just working by repetition until it really, really becomes the new programming, the new coding, and really the new you that's setting your old self free.

[00:29:35] Damaged Parents: Mm, Now you used these tools and then became an expert in them because now you're teaching and you're helping other people heal from this.

[00:29:45] And so I'm thinking what are the top three tools or tips? I mean, now that you have been through this process, and we know that if someone's suffering, they definitely wanna come see you. Rachel Lynn Fox. I mean, you just seem so knowledgeable, I have to say it, but what would be the top three tools or tips or maybe, maybe in this case, what would be the top three things?

[00:30:07] Notice this before you come see me, or even as you're making your appointment, , take a look. .

[00:30:14] Rachel Fox: Well first of all, healing is brave and it takes a very large holding in your own. To get to the point that you're even having a first free call because you're so scared. So it's being brave to make that first step to saying, I need help.

[00:30:39] I want help, I want to heal. Two is to be really, really committed to the journey. rapid transformational therapy, it's a two hour session. It is rapid, but you have to be committed to your own personal healing and your freedom. And, you know, if you're still one foot in and one foot out, you know, I find women who are, you know, about 35 and up have suffered so much that they'll do anything.

[00:31:11] Not all the time. I mean, I do have really, you know, amazing clients who are younger as well, but sometimes there's, it's not that bad yet, so, it's just, you have to be really, really committed to the work. And three having these conversations maybe with those great support system around you, because these, these healing moments.

[00:31:32] You know, if you're blessed to have the support around you, a loving family, sister, brother, mother, father, who already know, the household environment, if you will they will be able to. And want to see you through. And so by having you know, that partner, that boyfriend, it's really important that you walk with them through it.

[00:31:54] That what comes up in the sessions that you're talking about. Because really the partners of P M D D are on a whole nother side of suffering. If you think about what happens in a home, the children are suffering. The husbands, the partners are suffering. They are experiencing their own trauma. So it's really important to include them in this journey so that it will really essentially help them to heal as well.

[00:32:24] Damaged Parents: Mm, such great wisdom. You guys can find Rachel Lynn Fox on social media everywhere it looks like. It's simply just Rachel Lynn Fox. Check her out Totally. Can't wait to to hear what you guys have to say about this episode. Thank you so much, Rachel.

[00:32:41] Rachel Fox: Thank you.

[00:32:42] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoyed talking to Rachel about how she figured out she had P M D D. We especially liked when she spoke about her advocacy and determination to shed light on this often misdiagnosed problem. To unite with other damaged people, connect with us on Instagram. Look for damaged parents.

[00:33:08] We'll be here next week. Still relatively damaged. See you then.