S2E12: Standing Up to Mom

I live in Hawaii. I’m a kahuna wisdom keeper spiritual coach/healer. I became a young mother at the age of 17 years old. That changed me to transform my ancestral karmic baggage from my lineage. Especially with my relationship with my mother. Because of this deep seeded karmic wound it affected me from feeling safe to be me in the world because i always felt I wasn’t good enough if I wasn’t living up to what my mother expects of me. Making this shift wasn’t easy but I was able to break this pattern and many others while keeping my heart open. Today I help other woman to transform their karmic stories.

Social media and contact information:

IG: @janese_ululani
FB: Janese Recolan
Website: www.janeseululani.com
FB group: Finding your ancestral powers

Podcast Transcript:

[00:00:00] Damaged Parents: Welcome back to the Relatively Damaged Podcast by Damaged Parents. We're spiritual, loving healing. People come to learn. Maybe just, maybe we're all a little bit damaged. Someone once told me it's safe to assume. 50% of the people I meet are struggling and feel wounded in some way. I would venture to say it's closer to 100%.

Every one of us is either currently struggling or has struggled with something that made us feel less than. Like we aren't good enough. We aren't capable. We are relatively damaged. And that's what we're here to talk about. In my ongoing investigation of the damaged self, I want to better understand how others view their own challenges.

Maybe it's not so much about the damage, maybe it's about our perception and how we deal with it. There is a deep commitment to becoming who we are meant to be. How do you do that? How do you find balance after a damaging experience? My hero is the damaged person. The one who faces seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on the other side, whole.

Those who stare directly into the face of adversity with unyielding persistence to discover their purpose. These are the people who inspire me to be more fully me. Not in spite of my trials, but because of them, let's hear from another hero.

Today's topic includes sensitive material, which may not be appropriate for children. This podcast is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended as advice. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them.

Today, we're going to talk with Janese Recolan. She has many roles in her life, mother, daughter, spiritual coach, healer, and more. We'll talk about how she had to heal her relationship with her mother. due to different spiritual beliefs and how they found health inhaling. Let's talk.

 Welcome back to Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. Today, we have Janese Recolan with us. She lives in Hawaii. She is a kahuna wisdom keeper, spiritual coach healer. So I'm really looking forward to this. She was a young mother at the age of 17, which then gave her this not idea, but it became clear that she needed to heal her ancestral karmic

baggage and we want to know how to do that quite frankly, on this podcast. But before we do that, I just want to make sure you guys know how to find her Janese is spelled J A N E S E. And if you put that in on social media, I am told she will just pop up everywhere. Are you the one and only Janese?

[00:02:45] Janese Recolan: Yeah, that I know there's Janeses I've met, but only that does this, that I know.

[00:02:51] Damaged Parents: Fantastic. Fantastic. Well, I'm so glad to have you here.

[00:02:55] Janese Recolan: Thank you for having me.

[00:02:56] Damaged Parents: Yeah. I've just really interested to hear about number one, what a kahuna wisdom keeper is. Cause that just sounds really cool to me. And then I definitely want to hear about what it's like to heal ancestral karmic baggage. So I'm going to turn it over to you before I just keep talking.

[00:03:16] Janese Recolan: Oh, yeah. Well, first of all kahuna my culture in Hawaii is a shaman, a priest priestess, someone in the tribe where you will go and get spiritual guidance and counseling. So because of that, I come from a generation. Who actually practice that. So my grandfather was that, so it got passed down through the lineage.

So my grandfather started with, my grandfather, my mother's father, my mother's Hawaiian. And then, they back and back in your back. So here I am. So I just stepping into my birthright as a kahuna in this life.

[00:03:56] Damaged Parents: did you, know your grant, you had a chance to get to know your grandfather?

[00:03:59] Janese Recolan: Oh, No.

no, no, no, no, no, no. So as far as breaking karmic lineage and what that is, that was one of the main, first things that I needed to break, because there was so much fear around just being a kahuna or just having this gift, this power of healing. So there was so growing up was like shame to even talk about things and going to my mom and my family about like things that I would experience growing up.

They were like, oh, we don't talk about that. We don't deal with that. And my grandfather died a long time ago, but then I would hear stories growing up about what kind of things that he would do. And I was like, well,

[00:04:39] Damaged Parents: Yeah. Tell us, tell us I'm excited.

[00:04:41] Janese Recolan: Yeah, I guess he will go. And he'll like the sick people they say they also said that he would, I dunno, my aunt one time she's like I don't know but you know, family stories that get passed down, but she's like one day she went, with my grandfather and she just saw him like take out some kind of energy out of someone and removed this darkness from them.

[00:05:06] Damaged Parents: Okay.

[00:05:06] Janese Recolan: And I guess that's how he met my grandmother, his wife guess she was having stomach pains or upset stomach. And then I guess her family took him to him. And then all of a sudden she, he helps her with her stomach and then they got together on their own. That's a whole different story, but yeah, So.

there's like some just stories from my family that passed down and that I could hear that I heard, but we never talked about it.

It wasn't something that it was embraced.

[00:05:32] Damaged Parents: Right. So you would ha what were some of the experiences you would have that then you would want to ask questions or want to talk about it? That.

[00:05:41] Janese Recolan: yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Well, I've never been, I remember specifically like growing up and I would see my grandmother never met her. Never seen her. I would be like, Hey, I seen this lady in my dream or she talked to me or she came to me, what do you even be in? My dream would be right there in my bedroom before I go to bed.

And my mother's like, no, that's not, that's not true. She was like, totally disregarded me. And then I was at my aunt's house one day and I was like, that's the lady I seen. She's like, what do you mean? And she goes, do you know, you never met her? I go, well, that's the lady who comes to visit. And she said, well, that's your grandmother.

I go, oh, okay. So my whole life, I got dismissed by things that I felt things that I've seen so that it caused like a lot of pain in me as a kind of death caused like doubt uncertainty, not feeling like I was like, I was crazy at times, so Yeah,

[00:06:39] Damaged Parents: Yeah, that would be really hard. So you had all this stuff going on inside of you and you wanted to talk about it. And now, so at what point did you find out that grandpa was like a shaman or a kahuna over there.

[00:06:52] Janese Recolan: I've always known ever since I was growing up that he was, and I've also heard from not outside of our family, that he did.

I guess like from other people, other families, they would say, yeah, you guys have a gift of healing. I'm like, okay, what does that really mean? Well, how do you do this? What do you mean?

Yeah, so that's kind of what happened there of my childhood coming from that. And then like years later, Stepping into it.

or finding it, I guess, because I've been searching So, much for it to be part of me and be part of my life, it showed up for me to do the healing. And I showed up for me to do the practice and a show showed up for me to heal myself.

[00:07:34] Damaged Parents: Did it feel natural or was there some concern because it was more on the woowoo side and like what happened around all of that?

[00:07:44] Janese Recolan: Yeah. My family, of course, they didn't know what I was doing. I kept them in the dark because I knew that?

they would disapprove of what I'm doing because they were so against it, completely against it because of religion

[00:08:00] Damaged Parents: Wait. So he, so grandpa was a shaman. Maybe there wasn't a religion at that point, but. as the generations moved on, then they got into maybe a different type of religion.

[00:08:11] Janese Recolan: yeah. So in 1905, when Hawaii became the territorial of the United States, they abandoned and abolished our practice of healing. Abolished our singing, our culture.

[00:08:25] Damaged Parents: Oh, I had no idea.

[00:08:27] Janese Recolan: Yeah. And then they all went to religion.

[00:08:30] Damaged Parents: Like Christian religion or like,

[00:08:33] Janese Recolan: my family came from Mormon, so yeah, Christian went missionaries missionary. So this has been not just in me, but culturally, this is something that healing inside of me, culturally,

[00:08:46] Damaged Parents: So I have to ask. Being that your family is part of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. What that's been like since you found this healing and in spiritual power, like that sounds like there was probably a struggle there, from an internal perspective, maybe.

[00:09:05] Janese Recolan: Yeah. yeah, well, and this is where it comes down. I need to heal my relationship with my mother because her views were still stuck on this religion. That, and I, she would literally tell me, like blatantly out of her mouth I don't know what you're doing out there.

You were probably like, I don't know what you're getting involved in, but you know, you need to just be careful. She always worried. And she always like had that very overbearing energy, so it kinda like made me just kind of hide everything from her. So there was a lot of times where she would tell me certain things.

I hope it using your gift for good. So here on one hand, she kind of accept like this is our birthright, but then on the other hand, the religion inside of her so her internal belief kind of gets scrambled up inside of her cause in one way, this is our birthright or her fathers what her lineage is. And then the other hand she's contradicted with the religion inside of her.

[00:10:06] Damaged Parents: Which is probably really confusing, right. Because. I think in, well, in the church, it's, the men have the priesthood and they can do the blessings and they can, and while women can go to the temple and then, they do have access to the priesthood that way, but it's like very different.

Things, but at the same time, there's this huge belief in the power of prayer and meditation and things like that. Just if you think about going to the temple and so it would, in some ways it seems like it, it would be helpful, but in other ways, it's like, no, it's not helpful.

[00:10:45] Janese Recolan: yes. Well, it's funny, you mentioned that it's specifically, because I recently had that same conversation with my mother.

[00:10:53] Damaged Parents: Oh, wow.

[00:10:55] Janese Recolan: Like couple of weeks ago, literally just had it with her. She came to me, we're hanging out and she kept telling me, the only reason why I joined the church is because when my stepdad,my stepdad was a Mormon, so that's how my mom got became a Mormon.

So he's like, when he told me that I can be sealed with my family and the afterlife, they, she was explaining it to me. That right there. I really wanted to join the church and I'm like, great. That is your belief. I support you a hundred percent. So she kept telling me this. So I'm like, I, one day I go, mom, what kind of Kool-Aid are you trying to sell me right now? And she goes, what do you mean? Cause then she comes and tells me, she goes, I have a lady at the church. Who's just like you, I go, what do you mean? Like. And she goes, she still kept her spirituality. Like she's still connected. I had this long conversation with her, but she still comes to church.

She's a church member and I was like, mom, that's great. That works for her. But let me ask you this. And I asked her blatantly why is there no priesthood? And she goes, well, because it says it in the book, show me, she goes, well, it's in the book. You got to go read it. And I go, okay. And then I go, I told her, I go, mom, because this is the truth.

Why would I give up my birthright? That was given down to me as my lineage in my blood, in my bone for that, where I can do this now. And I am doing this now, what will be the difference? What will benefit me? She's like, oh, I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go meet your auntie right now. And she just left. She got so uncomfortable. Ever since then, she never brought it back up because she know in something inside of her, she knows it's the true, because what I see is when my family, this is the karmic curse. This is the karmic cycle, I guess back then my family, once they went over to religion, they gave over not the power over to the church. They gave their power over to religion and men because only men can do the healings. So I have to reclaim and clean up that karmic pattern

So that I can have access to it. And I can work with my ancestors and in the right way, without any of that.

[00:13:01] Damaged Parents: yeah. Yeah, because I think my understanding is that women can give healing blessings like to the children. Like it's a little limited as, so you, it's not like you're a member and you needed to reconcile that for yourself. it's that you have family that are members that find it hard to reconcile this birthright with the religion.

[00:13:24] Janese Recolan: Yep. Exactly. So.

It was kinda, it was kind of awesome, coming from that place of empowerment, talking with my mother. And just standing in complete sovereignty in my own truth with her that she couldn't, she had to go deal with that on her own, in her own way. and my mom's pretty high up in the church actually.

And so was my stepdad. So I get it. Like I I've been around it my whole entire life, but I've never. Conformed, but it was also another crazy thing to. My son was born and my stepdad wanted my son to get baptized through the church. And the church said no,

Because of him. And the father and me was not part of the church. Church said, no,

[00:14:07] Damaged Parents: Okay.

[00:14:08] Janese Recolan: I know.

[00:14:08] Damaged Parents: I mean, I know there's different rules and guidelines, but I don't think, I mean, even now I know that they'll baptize children with same-sex parents just, they have to know that what they're going to teach, and be aware. So that's interesting.

[00:14:25] Janese Recolan: It's probably because I feel this is my intuition that I see is that. They knew that I was going to break that. So I didn't want to pass that onto my son. you know, as, The pattern, giving over the power going into religion and they not embracing the spirituality part all of that is still.

[00:14:44] Damaged Parents: I'm just wondering, I mean, is it possible that spirituality, while in religion, someone can find their spirituality versus, Like that spirituality can be there regardless of what the rules are of a religion. Someone can

[00:15:01] Janese Recolan: Yes.

[00:15:02] Damaged Parents: really lean into the spirituality.

[00:15:04] Janese Recolan: I have clients and I've worked with a lot of women who have that same thing. And what I tell them is that spirituality.

is not in competition with religion it's religion. That is in competition with spiritual. Well, there is a lot of rules on spirituality and it states it in the book. That it's bad. It's not as, white magic, black magic doesn't matter, still that whatever you label it. Right. So that right there is already making a division in like choice. It has to be this way or the other way. It has to be one way or the other way when you're in a spiritual way.

It's not just one. There's no division.

[00:15:44] Damaged Parents: Right. All is good. If there's there's a spectrum, it's not good in bad, good or bad.

It's on a, line.

[00:15:53] Janese Recolan: And it's and the line is you, what do you feel is good? Or not what you feel is right or not, what you feel is true in you, because what could be truth in me could be completely different from you because you have different viewpoints. You got, brought up differently, you have different, you know what I mean?

That came to that conclusion. This is where our beliefs get formed. So we have different beliefs, but we still have to respect each other. And those beliefs and sometimes religion don't.

[00:16:22] Damaged Parents: I think what you're talking about is like this sense of judgment. I don't think that me personally, I don't think that they're like, that's the goal is to judge, but I think how people interpret what is written is where the judgment comes in. And then this idea that I have to act a certain way, or I have to do this, otherwise I'm not included.

And then there are rules, right. There are, you know, if you do certain things, then you can't be part of that religion. Right. and what does that mean now as a kahuna I'm thinking you deal in like energy healing and things like that. I mean, how is that? Accepted with the people on that you work with it that are maybe part of a religion, you know, cause some people would say that's magic and other people would say, you're basically praying for someone and like what's the difference between a prayer and what's the difference between energy healing, which is just asking for healing.

Right. I can ask for healing in a prayer. What makes it different by doing what you do?

[00:17:24] Janese Recolan: Well, what I do?

is sometimes people give prayers and you know, it, everyone does that but it's the energy that's coming from you. That's going in that prayer that brings life to that prayer. That brings life to our words that brings life to it. So whatever energy you're putting into that. So if let's say like, I've seen like my mother, she means, well, right. she does love me, but then sometimes her words that she's saying, there's always this undercurrent of worry. So if you're praying and there's this undercurrent of fear or worry for the other person, when you're praying that is going to get picked up In that

[00:18:06] Damaged Parents: In the energy field.

[00:18:08] Janese Recolan: the energy field. Yes.

And that comes from that.

So it's, so the way I teach my clients is you being. Clear so that when you're giving, when you step into this space, which is a sacred space and you step into the sacred space, it's completely neutral. So that you're completely open to messages, spirits, energy that's coming through. You are not foreign or against what's happening in that present moment.

Like when you're in present with someone.

[00:18:38] Damaged Parents: So I think what I hear you really talking about is that subconscious layer that maybe we might not even be aware of when we say a prayer and you just pointed to me and nodded your head, like, absolutely. So tell me what your thoughts are on that or what your experience has been in, in helping people work through, or even figure out what's happening on that subconscious level.

[00:19:02] Janese Recolan: so I help with themselves, like where they're coming from, what? Like really working on their own energetic field and clearing anywhere where they are feeling on alignment within their own self. And then correcting that so that when they step into that space and they can step into it in a more empowered sense, so they can empower others around them without their own shit getting involved, or sorry,

[00:19:29] Damaged Parents: That's okay.

[00:19:30] Janese Recolan: with their, with their own, with their own things that's going on in their life in there. So they're able to completely put what's going on. Energetically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually on the side. So that they can come and hold space in a sacred way.

[00:19:46] Damaged Parents: So like for whatever it is they're working on.

[00:19:49] Janese Recolan: Yeah.

Whatever it could be, it could be like working on your business. It could be working with your kid who is having a tantrum moment. So like, so if your child, for an example, I have a girlfriend that was just you're with me yesterday. Her son was completely being out of control completely. She just sitting there looking at me and I was like, okay, here's the energy obviously showing itself, so helping her correct her energetic field so that she can properly help her son what's going on.

And what was going on in her field was that she was just worried, overwhelmed, tired. She's a mother of three working two jobs. All that energy. She was caring for someone speaking up for son was reacting and re manifesting it in the real world and just, being very just like throwing balls and just going everywhere and just trying to get attention.

And, because she was so focused here.

[00:20:44] Damaged Parents: So once you cleared that with her, did he naturally kind of shift.

[00:20:51] Janese Recolan: Yeah.

he was able to calm down the attention could go on him to see like, Hey, what's going on? What is it what's going on while you're re because she was able to put her stuff on hold there's a lot of times, parents are just going, going busy day busy day, and then not, trying to make things work.

But then here's this child. And then sometimes they get dismissed or sometimes they need something or they just wanted to feel love or connected. And, but all you're doing is this, you know, like get them to school, paying the bill is going to work, dealing with your boss, dealing with, your landlord or your partner.

So your all this, but then sometimes the children. Or what whoever else is in your life gets, not be attention or wherever you need. So I help women take care of their stuff so that they can take care of others properly and in a healthy way.

[00:21:45] Damaged Parents: So like learning to have that self care, it sounds like,

[00:21:49] Janese Recolan: Self-mastery yeah. Self-mastery.

[00:21:51] Damaged Parents: what's happening inside of them so that they can shift or, but noticing first.

[00:21:59] Janese Recolan: Yes.

[00:22:00] Damaged Parents: So do you also like teach meditation skills and tools?

[00:22:05] Janese Recolan: So it's all of that meditation skills. I also teach the energetics of it. I also help them tune into their own female creative energy and the creative flow and how to work with that. So they can help, create manifest and heal. We know things that they want to, in their life I'll you. Shifting and changing their mindset, changing their emotions, you know, do it And doing the inner, stuff so that it reflects in the external world.

[00:22:34] Damaged Parents: And what has been the neatest thing you've seen as someone heals that subconscious or underlying stuff that happens inside of all of us. Right.

[00:22:45] Janese Recolan: Right? Well, I have my client now. Where I'm helping her switch her identity because the identity and how she's been creating her life through this old identity of a wounded child growing up of feeling lack and not like nodding off that she manifested partners in life. And here she is now today, she wants to change that.

So I helping her working with her, changing her identity. Okay. Who is this person you'd want to be if this was no longer there anymore? How would that like, and when I asked her that question, she didn't have a clue of like, wait, is that possible? She was still caught up with the drama. She was so caught up with, fixing other people.

She was so caught up because that's how she'd been programmed since a child from her parents, from adolescents, from, her parents being damaged or whatnot. So she became this person and then she started that's the way it is, you know, that's became a reality. And then so helping her changing that has like really helped her like calm her anxiety. She's able to ground and be present and not, and start to recognize when she's getting pulled in that direction and knowing how she can pull herself back.

[00:24:05] Damaged Parents: Okay. So she's starting to notice the behaviors that she doesn't like. So she's, it sounds like what you're saying is you help them become familiar with the behaviors that they don't like, so they can recognize them so that then they can shift.

[00:24:18] Janese Recolan: Yeah. She didn't know. Like she knew on one level that she, something needed to change. She's gone to therapy many a times and she just knew something needed to change. And so when I sat down with her for the very first time I go, okay, I can see what we need to work on. So we started working on that, the identity starting there, every client is different.

So for her, that's kind of where I needed to start with. And so once we started that with her, she was able to stop and recognize, and then with the tools and meditation and the tool of the energy tools that I teach in her on top of that, it's helping her break that deep seated pattern. That's she's had since a child.

[00:24:58] Damaged Parents: Right.

[00:24:58] Janese Recolan: cause that caused a lot of anxiety, stress just mental, mental, emotional distress on her body.

[00:25:06] Damaged Parents: So I just to go back to grandpa real quick without knowing him and then learning that, oh, that's what these sensations, these visions, these other things that were happening with you, as far as like the dreaming and things like that, how did you learn the tools? how did you learn to, I guess, connect with those tools?

[00:25:27] Janese Recolan: Well, funny story. raising my son just kind of knew I needed to be different. Like I knew that I didn't want to be my mom, I just wanted to raise him and be different. I just didn't know how. So I said, like I was always searching and my son was like helped me. And then one day I had a girlfriend, but will a couple of years before that, I went to this place here on the big, island its called the Clairvoyant Center of Hawaii.

And they gave me an aura healing and I've never heard the word aura, never heard the word chakra. I never heard any of that before. First time ever. And so I was like, okay, whatever, kind of it seemed woowoo to me at the time, I never heard it. Right.

And so I sat there, I sat there and I received one ever since that day, I received it. I immediately, I was like, what is this? What is this? I need this in my life. I don't know what it is. And then about it took me about seven years after that first exprience to get me into the training and that training helped me to meditate and all that stuff to help me. And then as I started clearing the ancestral karmic counters within me and the limitations inside of me and the fear, I was able to actually talk with my grandfather and my, my ancestors that came before me. Because I became comfortable with it instead of it coming from a fear of, we don't do that, that I was able to clear all that, limiting beliefs that was given to my family of like, we don't do that. That's not what we do, that's not accepted. And if you do that, then we won't accept you. So. I have to clear a lot of that and then coming to a place now that now I constantly communicate with them.

[00:27:09] Damaged Parents: From your perspective, it sounds like that you weren't able to, in at least in your family, communicating with ancestors through prayer or meditation was off limits, basically, which I think is really interesting with the beliefs in the church that, we, we need to know who our ancestors are as far as the beliefs.

Right? Like, and then. There's a great picture. I think with the it's like a woman and then like all the ancestors are putting their, hands on the woman's head. It's beautiful picture. And so to me, it's almost like we're talking about the same things with different words.

You're

[00:27:50] Janese Recolan: think so, Angela, I agree with you, Angela. All right.

[00:27:54] Damaged Parents: It's it's just a matter of finding that balance maybe of how do I balance this with that? And I think it's actually, I know we're still recording, but I'll reveal that I am a member of the church and I do have also questions because of that spiritual journey that I have not yet reconciled either.

So I think it makes sense because it is, it's almost scary to voice that. I believe there's more to this, but, and then I look at what I'm doing within the church and what's okay. Or what is viewed as, you know, going to the temple that is a two hour long meditation. If you asked me really, and what happens in there, I joined with other people.

We joined in our own magnetic field. And so it's like all these beautiful things are happening that are very much from the spiritual realm. and yet on some level it's like, well, we don't believe in that, but yet we do.

[00:28:53] Janese Recolan: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. This is something I got to with my mother for a long time. And it came to a point now that she understands me and I understand her And we're okay with that. And we can still live in harmony with one another. Regardless of our beliefs regardless of how we feel.

Because to be honest, like growing up, I've always wanted my mom to go to church. She never went to church I tried to drag her to as much churches as possible, like churches, churches until she met my stepdad about 20 years ago or something. 22, 3 anyway and then she didn't get involved in the church till later.

And while they were still married and then she got involved and then he passed away about a couple of years ago, but I saw the church really step in and help her. And in that, and I saw that with that, knowing of that understanding that she had about it, it helped her. Move on. It helped her process a helped her.

So for her, it is a beautiful thing. Like I tell her that all the time that without that I don't know who the hell she would be because of, she was always working and she's like, Hey, yeah. As I said, I was a child. I was like, she needs to go. She needs to go.

She needs this in her

[00:30:12] Damaged Parents: well, right. And I think too though, that those rituals and the connection with other people is also so very important. So,

[00:30:20] Janese Recolan: Yeah. for her it's beautiful.

[00:30:23] Damaged Parents: right. And I think we're closer in agreement then sometimes we even realize.

[00:30:29] Janese Recolan: Yes,

[00:30:31] Damaged Parents: because there is that belief that we can, you know, there is still work being done in the afterlife.

There is so all of these things are so very possible. and it's funny because like those judgements come from, oh, it's, I need to be right on this.

[00:30:48] Janese Recolan: Right,

[00:30:49] Damaged Parents: And if I don't look a certain way, and that's just part of wanting to be included in a group.

[00:30:54] Janese Recolan: Yes, exactly.

[00:30:56] Damaged Parents: And who doesn't want to be included in a, group.

[00:30:59] Janese Recolan: Absolutely. It's the same thing in like culturally, too. You know what I mean? Like here we're a Hawaiian tribe and if we're not conforming to that, then you're, And it goes into even social groups too nowadays, if you don't have our thing, viewpoints are all the same thing.

It's just, but how you deal with that and how you go along in your life with that is actually what makes you, you, what makes you a unique.

[00:31:24] Damaged Parents: Which is important. So like the similarities are important and yet the differences are also very important because without those differences, Then it would actually probably be pretty boring because I'd stop learning new things and it I would re literally quite literally we would stop meeting cool new people that it's like, oh my gosh, I never saw that.

That's so cool.

[00:31:46] Janese Recolan: This wouldn't have happened today.

[00:31:48] Damaged Parents: like, I'm in California, you're in Hawaii. I have disabilities. You've you know, like I'm a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. You are not in yet. I see how close we are in agreement and the most important thing. And I think what I'm getting from you is that like the health and healing, that individual healing, and just that really, that love for humanity.

[00:32:12] Janese Recolan: Yeah, because when you can really do that for yourself, you can start to appreciate and love others where they are. They may not be on the same journey or where you are at the same journey, but here. You're you were talking to them for some reason, they came in your life for some reason, but if we're still holding onto our own junk gunk still, then we don't really get the blessings from that.

We don't really get the gifts from that. We don't get the lessons. And this is what we're here for. When you clearing karma is about lessons. It's about taking those lessons and moving on from those lessons. So when we go through.

[00:32:47] Damaged Parents: and growing.

[00:32:48] Janese Recolan: Yes, learning and growning so that's why we have karma is a karma isn't because, oh, you did something bad to me or something bad's going to happen to you.

Karma is actually lessons, lessons that you brought forward to learn to grow. And when you learn from those lessons and you get to get other sets of lessons,

[00:33:04] Damaged Parents: Which is really interesting because in the church we literally choose to come here to learn and grow. And so now, as you're explaining this, that's what I'm saying. I think we're closer than we realize.

[00:33:16] Janese Recolan: When I talked to my mom and I go, I know, I know, I know, like I'm just talking. It is she, she kinda like, at that time, she's like, wow. You know? And then at times like she's very open and like late, more and more now she's been like more and more open and, and so I'm like, She's becoming more open with herself that she can actually expand because the more open you are, the more you can receive.

[00:33:39] Damaged Parents: Right. So when you say open with herself, is it just being willing to, like you had said earlier, meeting, being around people and being okay with where they're at. And I'm thinking that it's like that that's okay. So when you talk of mom, what you're recognizing is that she can be there and you don't have to be where she's at or where she thinks you should be.

and when that happens, possibilities, open up,

[00:34:06] Janese Recolan: That's how I was able to heal my relationship with her. Cause I came into this lifetime with a karmic wound a mother wound to learn specifically, you know, growing up

[00:34:16] Damaged Parents: did you have to give her that room? Like w was that part of the healing also was you opening up those possibilities and, and loving her right where she was at?

[00:34:27] Janese Recolan: Even though when times were hard, even though times were difficult yes. Still keeping that open heart towards her because when it comes down to it, she's always, my mother will always be my mother. And then that will never change. And that is just, I believe it's just a cultural thing that's ingrained in me so deeply because we believe in we're so deeply cultured and family, even though, my childhood with her, my experience with her as a child was very, very, suppressed and, not very open, but then later on in life, like we were able to reconcile all of that.

And it's funny how you say this is because just the other day, she follows me, she knows what I'm doing. And then one day she just texted and said, it was nice of you to tell the Facebook world a type of mother. I was. And I was like, mom, I did not say it to disrespect you. And she goes, oh Yeah.

I know that. And I go, okay then where does this coming from? Because if this is triggering you mom, then I would suggest looking, why is this triggering you? And then she responded, she was open. She responded with it's because what do you, how do you feel? What other people think? And I was like, what do you like? So you're worried about what others names. That's why you got upset at me.

And so I told her, I was like, mom, I, this is why I do this. I help women. And then, breaking that ancestral karmic lineage , get them out of fear, shame, hiding self-limiting doubt so that they can completely fully be themselves and be who they're meant to. And she immediately said, oh my God, thank you so much for helping other women, because just recently doing the work in the temple helps me forgive my mom.

[00:36:10] Damaged Parents: Wow.

[00:36:12] Janese Recolan: a big shift. I just got chicken skin, big shifts. My mom was able to do her work and she did it through the temple to forgive her, own mother, where w she was very, very hard on her.

[00:36:23] Damaged Parents: Yeah, there's something to those two hour meditations.

[00:36:28] Janese Recolan: Absolutely. Yeah, So that's one, the, for some reason then we were able to like talk about it and like move forward. Just really move forward from all of that.

[00:36:39] Damaged Parents: So it's almost like you started it. And then she picked up on something was maybe energetically, right. And then worked on it herself. And then you guys were able to come back together and just really connect on a deep level.

[00:36:54] Janese Recolan: Yes. Yes.

[00:36:55] Damaged Parents: That's such a blessing.

moms are so important and we, I am a mom, you're a mom. So you know, our kids are going to be working through their stuff on us too. Right.

[00:37:06] Janese Recolan: Yes, yes, absolutely. Yeah.

I believe that for sure. And I did, I just didn't want to pass down my stuff to my son. Cause that's what happens, and because my mom was brought up and raised by a really strict mother that my mom passed that down onto my sister and I, but you know, and it actually, my mom didn't know anything else.

She didn't have the resources that is available to us now today. My mom would just going off of her own programming of what she was given that was passed down. Once I started to see that, like from that compassionate space of like whoa that's where things really started to shift for me is being able to come from this neutral place.

As I was saying earlier, when you clear your own things, I was able to really see my mom because I wasn't seeing things through my perspective, through my gunk that was in front of me. I was able to clear the gunk so I can actually see.

[00:38:02] Damaged Parents: since this is also an audio podcast, what she's, what Janiece is doing is putting her hands in front of her face and saying she cleared that. And because she cleared that, that, then that's what she could see. She could see her mom for who she was. Yeah, that's awesome. That's beautiful. Okay.

Three tips or tools for any woman? It sounds like going through the process of clearing things with their mom or just needing to have that wisdom.

[00:38:29] Janese Recolan: Well three tips, huh? Well, the first thing that I tell my students, is to be very kind And gentle to yourself like, yes, we sometimes go into that old way of thinking that old way of programming. And when that does happen, just know that you can stop, you can stop. So stop so stop at that moment. That's number two.

[00:38:54] Damaged Parents: And for those of you who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I'll just point you to a Elder Uchtdorf, where he literally says, just stop it.

[00:39:05] Janese Recolan: Yeah, just those things happen but then stop

[00:39:09] Damaged Parents: Yeah.

[00:39:10] Janese Recolan: then, whatever that is. What is the opposite? What is the experience you want from that? To change, you know, if you're having doubts and yourself and you're feeling like, oh, I don't know if I can do this. And I'm not sure. And all of a sudden you go into this tail spiral of not sure not you don't have to, you can do this.

And then all of a sudden you're you go to work and then your boss, says, Hey, can you do this? And you're like, I don't know if I can do this

 so the next thing is to pay well, what is it in your highest possible outcome that you want from this situation, from this experience? And then go from there. They move forward.

[00:39:45] Damaged Parents: Yeah, well, Janese I am so grateful. I've gotten to have you on the show today.

You are. I mean, what an interesting topic. And it was a question I had been, or a topic that actually for me has been an argument in and inside of myself too, of how do I reconcile this? So I am super grateful for our conversation and recognizing that I was able to see we're really closer than I thought.

We're really right there with each other, which is beautiful.

[00:40:16] Janese Recolan: We were meant to it's called the match.

[00:40:19] Damaged Parents: So you guys can find Janese on Instagram, J A N E S E underscore U L U L A N. I, you may not need the last part cause she says you can find her with just your first name and thank you for sharing your wisdom with us today. I appreciate.

[00:40:37] Janese Recolan: Thank you, Angela I thank you everyone for being here and listening.

[00:40:41] Damaged Parents: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Relatively Damaged by Damaged Parents. We really enjoy talking to Janiece about how she was able to clear her karmic baggage and have a healthy relationship with her mom. We especially liked when she spoke about how her and her mom have such a great relationship now.

To night with other damaged people, connect with us on Instagram. Look for damaged parents. We'll be here next week still relatively damaged see you then